What Happens to Your Tax Refund?

I'm hoping for an Hermes watch. If there is any left over, I'll see if he wants anything I guess? Or else it'll get thrown in the ING savings account or sent to Visa/Mastercard...

What??? That seems crazy, if either of you is taking a % of the money, the other should take the same amount. We used to do that, each take a certain amount of personal spending money, we don't any more because we both know how much we should/can spend... ;)

We only have OUR money, not separate accounts. It goes into our savings if we get one.

This sounds like a control issue going on and maybe some other issues. One thing I do, since I pay all the bills and track the money is update him once a month on where we stand and what we have. This allows both of us to be aware of how we stand on things and can make wise decisions. We also ask each other about purchases over $200.

This is what happens when couples have his and her money, rather then OUR money...in my opinion. Our extra money goes into savings, OUR savings, that we both have access to. Sometimes, like this year, we use it on fixing something up in the house.

And you are letting him do this? (Not that you can control his moves - but sheesh! Who does he think he is?)

My husband and I both work and we both provide for our family...but even before I worked the money was ours. We had our own accounts, but the money was still ours. It was never hid. I would be LIVID if my husband told me any money was HIS. The only money that is HIS is what money he gets for his birthday. Same for me. MY money is what I get for my bday. Other than that, it's all ours.

You need to knock some sense into him one way or another, but that's not okay for him to act like that.

Oh I think your husband is waaayyyy off base here. In the years that we get a refund, it goes to our joint account. I then usually move it out of there to my checking account, but that's just so that we don't end up spending it mindlessly until we figure out a plan for it. My husband is a mindless spender so he knows money is safer where he can't touch it, but it's no mystery how much is there or what I do with it.

We each have separate accounts as well as our joint account, mainly to prevent my husband from having access to too much money at one time. He just doesn't keep track and will spend our mortgage payment if not kept on an account that have very little money in them. But really the money is "ours" and neither one of us would earmark something joint like a refund towards things without talking to the other person.

Maybe your husband would respond better to just having a set amount of spending money each month that goes into his account that he can do whatever he wants with. I'm the breadwinner in my family (although we both work FT) and I gotta say that I would be pretty irritated if my spouse thought that I had to "ask" for the money that I earned. He should be able to spend a certain amount without asking, as should you, and you should both have access to the account at all times so he doesn't have to ask you what's in there...he can check for himself and then talk to you about bigger expenses already knowing what's in there. Maybe he's just responding poorly to the idea that you've taken on the role of financial gatekeeper. My guess is that you track spending and pay the bills and do all of the legwork that he doesn't want to do so he benefits from you managing the money, but maybe it's time for him to take more ownership and feel more empowered, which will take away the desire to squirrel away money in a separate account.

Found money? That's YOUR money!

We haven't even done our taxes yet. No time.

If all of the planets line up, we break even or owe a smidge.
We like to have our money all year and save/spend/invest it ourselves, not let the Federal Government keep it interest free for a year!

But, when we do get some back, we save it or add it to the vacation fund, etc.

I would be very upset if my husband felt the right to decide FOR ME what to do with OUR money!

We are still paying last year’s taxes so no refund here. If we do have extra money we will put it towards paying off bills or into our joint savings. We do not hide money from each other that can destroy a marriage.

You get a refund? Good for you. We usually just break even. We'd rather get the money during the year in our paycheck, then in lump sum in the spring.

We've never had his or hers money... it seems to me like hiding money from each other would cause trust issues. Besides, no matter who brings in the salary, the money is both of yours. If your husband hates to have to ask you for money, how about setting up a small account for EACH of you so that you have a little play money that you don't have to account to the other for? That way your husband doesn't have to tell you how much he spent on your birthday present, or if he wants to go out to lunch with the guys every once in a while, he won't feel like you're auditing him.

What refund?? :( this is the first year I have ever had to pay. We know why and knew we were going to have to. But it still sucks.

Anyway, up until this year we have always applied our refund to our property tax. Our property tax is not rolled into our mortgage so we pay half in April and the other half in October (unless our refund is large enough to pay it all in April).

All our money is OUR money. The only separate account I have is from stocks I get from work. That money always goes toward home projects (right now we are having the 2 rooms in our basement finished, last year we had some landscaping done). We decide together what the next project will be.

We try really hard not to get a refund, but if we do, it is joint money that goes into our joint account.

My husband and I have OUR money. It just works out. Neither one of us goes and spends money the other one didn't approve of- it is ALL open and right there for us to know about. But honestly, we use our money to pay bills, groceries and gas. That's about it!

However, it sounds like a lot of things are going on here. First, he DOES sound worried that the money will just fly out the window. The two of you sound like you need to discuss and COMPROMISE on how your everyday money is spent as well as this tax return money. Also, it is not right that this money is "all his". I'm assuming your name is on the tax return? It is rightfully BOTH of yours.

Either way it goes, money should -and tends to be- a constant central issue in a marriage. It should be mutual, compromised, discussed, agreed on and so on...

What we do with our tax return? Important NEEDS that we have put off (because we don't always make enough to make ends meet) OR put it in our savings.

Sounds like you need a sit down and lay out the budget meeting with DH because if he's thinking you squirrel money and won't share (I'm assuming you file jointly) or consider your input on where the funds go, then there are bigger issues. Why is it any better for him to take the check and put it out of your reach than it is for you to take it out of his? He's doing what he seems to be accusing you of - only to your face.

Found money that is joint funds like this goes to our joint account for bills or vacation or whatever.

Our tax refund money or any "found" money goes into our savings account. Then we talk and agree on what we're going to spend it on and then I transfer what's needed for the purchase to our joint checking account and we spend it from there.

My ex did what your husband is suggesting. His issues with control were one of many reasons he is my ex.

Right now our refund is sitting in our joint account. My husband wouldn't dream of hiding the refund. Last time I checked it is payable to both of us, well if we didn't have it direct deposited.

We put everything we can into savings or home stuff. This year our kids are getting new beds.

I do want to add something though. I work and make even a little bit more than my husband. He is good at banking, bills, college, etc. So he takes care of all the money in our joint accounts. I just tell him I'm going to the store and ask how would he like for me to purchase whatever. I do like to have some money of my own that I call my fun money. It usually goes to purchase drinks at Sonic after school for me and the kids. Even though, I never get told that I can't buy something, I tell my hubby that I need a weekly allowance. This might work for your family too. Just a thought.

It sounds like this is a bigger issue than the tax refund in the sense of do you only have "our" money otherwise? If so, why should this be different? If not, then I'd say who generated the refund? ie: who had too much withholding? Then it's more "theirs". I'd take a step back though and see how this fits in the overall picture. I would say if you're controlling the purse strings all the time, it might be a good idea to let him have some money of his "own." Remember male egos... But absolutely no access for you or he just wants to have kind of day to day control? No access at all legally doesn't make sense.

We always split the money down the middle. I do with it what I want and he does what he wants with it. Once we get into the house the money will then be put towards the taxes.
Why is HE putting the money away that was part of YOUR business? You may not have a regular job but that business is your job. You have to work at it to build it up and make it successful right? I say tell him to share the wealth! LOL

for us, we are on a very tight budget, so when we do get our return, I am going to get the kids some summer clothes (very much needed) and some clothes for me and my husband. We do not get to do this very often and some of my shirts even have holes in them, SO it is time to get some new clothes and I am VERY excited about it because I love to shop and I don't get to very often. I'm not going to go crazy or anything, just get a few basics to get us through summer. The rest will go to bills

it sounds like things are tight sometimes there and you monitor purchases and he J. wants a bit so he doesnt have to ask permission for small things. I'm assuming its not a HUGE amount right? Why dont you agree he can have it but you want a little for fun too? Are you able to purchase things without consulting him since you mantain the bills and account? if so maybe thats where he feels the diferece is. Maybe he feel all of "our money" is really your money and he J. wants a little stash.

I guess my answer would change wildly depending on if you can afford it and if you;re able to buy things when you want with the joint acct money

Our refund money just gets applied to the quarterly taxes due for the upcoming year. I'm self-employed, so we pay a ton in taxes. A refund often means we can skip a quarter or two of payments to the state and IRS.

Our whole return goes towards the house, be it to our general save fund for a bigger house or to general up keep. I always put the WHOLE return into the house.

Technically, if you manage your withholding correctly you don't get a refund. Why do you allow the government to use YOUR money interest free? I'd much prefer to be properly invested and making my own interest instead of giving the government a loan every year for free.

When we have "found" money, we invest it in our savings, IRA's, daughter's college or something we may need for the house or yard. We may splurge on a favorite restaurant for dinner or something but overall we believe in delayed gratification. If you don't "get" that, then you'll never achieve wealth. We don't blow $$ and we don't have debt but we do spend a lot of money.

It is "our" money and treated as such. No secret accounts. I manage all the finances with our company and personal accounts.

It sounds like your hubby has some control issue and he is using the $$ to control you. That is bad news because it can create some resentment that build up over time and that is no good for either of you. I would not be able to live in a situation where I had to ask for $ or get the go ahead from hubby on anything I was spending money on.

We are in a partnership not a dictatorship at my house.

Good luck to you.

All money goes into an account that we both can access. Hubs makes good money and he also spends too much, but as long as we can pay the bills, who cares? I'm not much of an "extra" spendar, but if we have the money then I "can". In our house, it doens't matter that he makes most the money and I have a part time job and make less money - we are equal. The only reason that my husband can work the job that he does (involves travel) and still have a family is because I have been a stay at home mom and now only work part time from home. So it takes two to make the money and run the household - so money it split 50/50.

And I wouldn't put up with it any other way........

Refunds or any other sort of excess cash goes into our family savings account, then unfortunately, it keeps getting withdrawn over the year to pay the rent. If only it would STAY in savings. We were doing a good job of that until my husband got laid off two years ago... it's been rough ever since to build our savings up!

We discuss our purchases with each other and we both are committed to living as debt free as possible. There is absolutely no need in our marriage to have hidden accounts that the other cannot access.

Houshold savings, plain and simple. Sometimes we use it to go towards a large purchase.

Our refund (if we get one) usually goes to paying our state taxes (which we ALWAYS owe) and our summer pool membership. I handle all our money so the account is irrelevant - but we decide together how it is spent.

Always goes straight into our joint money market savings account or checking account. Whatever money received is OUR money, not his, not mine but OURS. We don't have any separate accounts, we don't feel the need. We are both savers with no debt (except our mortgage) and spend wisely. We were both lucky enough to be receiving bonuses this year at our jobs and both the bonuses are OURS as well and go straight to the bank accounts. My bil and sil have separate accounts, they both work but in the past she was a spender and not always a wise one so it was better for them to have separate accounts and split the payment of the bills. Works for some, just not for us.

Let's see first it's deposited into my account. We have three mine and two joint. :O) I have never kept money from him it's just I had that account before we got married. If our joint account does not have money he takes my ATM card. But as to how it's spent it depends on what's going on at the time. This year it bought a freezer and an IPad.

The refund goes into Our Joint account. We decide together what it gets spent on. There is no His or Mine when it comes to money. It is all ours because we are a family. We always make sure bills are paid and household needs are met. We set aside some for savings just in case and we "play" with a little bit.
My husband is the sole breadwinner. I am a stay at home mom. But I do more than my fair share of work with the household, the kids, homeschooling etc. It is still Our money.

With out insult, sounds like there are some control issues on both sides.

We take our money and pay bills. This year we are putting the money toward a car to replace my husbands 97' civic. We try to use it to benefit the both of us and our family. We also try to set aside a bit for our son every year.

I would suggest for you both to try and find a happy medium with the money issues, otherwise In my opinion, your both going to carry resentment.

Take care

I'm feeling your pain and I'm feeling his frustration. Maybe it may just be me but if I had to go and check in with my husband about pocket money I would be very frustrated. It would feel to me like checking in with a parent and not a spouse. I would definitely change that dynamic of how we handle money in our marriage.

If the IRS wasn't helping themselves to our refund, we would be putting the money up for savings and do different stuff with it each year. Some years it would mean house repairs while others it would mean savings and others a really nice vacation.

For now we are using that money to pay down a rather large debt hubby owes to the tax man from before our marriage. This is year 3 of our marriage. I used to really enjoy my hefty refunds and will again in the future.

When we were married, we had three checking accounts - his, mine, and ours (house expenses and such). We agreed how much each of us contributed towards the joint account according to our incomes. My money was mine. It worked pretty well. Still, I was the one that saved, so when it was time for new furniture or a vacation - I usually had the money to pay for it and he didn't.

Now, my tax refund is MINE. We still use the joint account for paying for our daughter's expenses instead of anyone paying anyone "child support". It works well for us.