Was I Selfish to Ask

I posted on your other request, but I wanted you to know that you shouldn't dwell on how hard it was to make this time happen, and forget the bad manners of your husband (forgive him for your own sake...he was just feeling left out and jealous...one day maybe he'll understand that giving you this pleasure (seeing your sister) will benefit him as well). Treasure the memories that your sister and you have made. They are hard to create as we get older and don't let anything take the magic of this time spent together away.

No I think you are just fine for wanting some time. I really think you should make it a regular thing so your husband can get some bonding time and get used to spending time with his kids..

You aren't being selfish at all! I agree with the other poster that you probably need to let him spend time with the kids by himself on a more regular basis so that he understands that it isn't "babysitting" when it's your own kids. Even though I am a SAHM, my hubby understands that I need a break too. Tell your hubby that he doesn't work at his "job" 24/7 and you shouldn't have to either. It does stink to have to take care of the kids when you're sick, but unfortunately, that's part of being a parent. We don't get the day off when that happens, we kind of just have to deal with it.

I would recommend letting this blow over in his mind and revisiting the issue in a non threatening way when he's feeling better. Just let him know that you appreciate when he gives you those breaks and how much they help your well being. It really does make you a better mom and wife to get some time to yourself, so I hope that you're able to work that out with your hubby. Good luck to you and Happy New Year!

Stay at home mothers never get sick days off. And your husband might feel better in the mornings if he cuts down on the beers the night before. Don't let him try to make you feel guilty. It's not selfish for him to spend some bonding time with his own kids. And when the holidays are over, you might want to check out a support group for relatives of alcoholics. He might not have a problem, but my spider sense is tingling. Just a thought.

No I don't think you were being selfish. However one thing I have noticed about my husband is he doesn't like it when I don't seem to care about what is up in his life. As a fellow SAHM I so get that you need some time out and that this is a really unique situation. But even though you rarely see your sis, he is your husband and should still come first. So maybe it would have been better to note that he was feeling ill and ask him if he needed you to stay or if he could hang in there and was there anything he needed you to bring him on the way back etc. I know it sounds like major babying, but girl, they are wired like that!!!;) Plus, doesn't it just burn you up when you aren't feeling well and he comes in looking for dinner and wants to tell you about his rough day without even noticing you aren't well, the kids are bouncing off the walls and you haven't even had 5 minutes to shower? Nobody likes to feel overlooked regardless of the situation. As moms at home we can easily feel like, and truly be, the most overlooked group at times and so it is hard to get that anyone else could feel that way too because we deal with ALL the time. One thing I try really hard to do is not take on a martyr role, it is so easy to fall into because the nature of our work is physically tough, mentally numbing and at times thankless. So I definitely don't think you were being selfish, but if you do decide to talk to your hubby about it more I would tell him that you are sorry if it seemed you didn't care about him feeling bad. I know it is hard to choke those words out at times, but he is the love of your life and you both make a lot of sacrifices for you to be home with the kids. I hope you have a great new year!!

In my opinion, NO. You aren't being selfish....he seems to be acting a bit manipulative (a little immature) which does seem to be a reflex with husbands who are out of the house most of the time and not as "hands-on".

I agree that you should consider doleing out a little more time for him and the kids without you for the sake of your own sanity as well and the opportunity for him to bond with your children. It may improve the relationship between the two of you also.

My only question is how did he respond to the children when he was in a mood with you??? If he does not tranfer that animosity towards the children, then a little "tough love" in pushing him towards being a more interactive parent sounds good. If not, you may need to rethink that suggestion!

Wishing you the best (as I know firsthand from similar experiences what you are feeling!)