Visitation (Supervised)

You do not give us enough information to understand your situation and thus cannot answer your question in specifics. Who is supervising? Where will the visits take place?

I suggest that your attorney is the best one to answer this question. If you don't have one, you need one.

As to how do you do it, if you want to see your son (I hope you do) you just do it as ordered. Follow the rules and eventually, by showing that you co-operate you may be able to ask for the rules to be changed.

If you've been convicted of a crime then you may be stuck with this arrangement until your sentence is over. If you're wrongfully convicted, hire an attorney and appeal.

I looked at your previous posts and it seems that when you say convicted you're not referring to a crime but to the fact that CPS believed your ex's accusations. If this is the case, it's now a matter of showing that you are a good mother and one way to do that is to do all of those visits in a generous way. Yes, it's tough but the visits will get easier as you have more experience. Once CPS sees that you do co-operate with them and that you're appropriate during the visits the supervision requirement can be stopped.

You don't say what your ex's accusations are and so I can't respond to how to fight those accusations. If you don't have an attorney get one now.!

Who has custody of your son, now? Perhaps the father is also having supervised visits? If he has been given custody after 6 or so years of you having custody the situation must be quite serious. You need to find a way to show that your home, your parenting, and your ability to physically and emotionally care for him is greater than that of your ex. You may be able to consider this period of time as waiting for your ex to show that he's not as capable. If that happens then you need to have a history of co-operating with the authorities in order to regain custody.

Later: Could a part of the reason this is happening caused by your limiting his father's access to his son? I suggest that you consider the possibility of finding a way for you and your ex to work out a way to share your son. I urge you to continue with mediation and to focus less on his handicaps and more on how the two of you can work together to provide a more complete parenting plan for your son.

Cooperate fully with the court order. Stay positive during the visits. Don't ever speak negatively about the situation (or your ex) with your son. If he brings it up as a negative, like asking why he can't see you more often or why there has to be a stranger there when you visit, just say ' I know this is not ideal, but it is the way it is right now, so let just enjoy the time we have.' Then move on. Saying anything else will reflect negatively on you. Just don't do it. No matter how mad and frustrated you are, you need to show that you can control your emotions around your son.

Use this time to build yourself up and get yourself into a stronger position to fight back in court when the time comes. I don't know why the court ordered this, but try to look at it as objectively as possible. Are the accusations rooted in truth at all? Even if grossly exaggerated, is there anything you can change to remove the base for that exaggeration? If so, do it. This is not about what is fair, it is about getting your son back.

Looking at your previous posts, you had said that you didn't get to state your case at a hearing. Did you have a lawyer? I know they are expensive, but you really have to have the help. There are many legal aid societies and charities that help with this sort of thing. Even if you have to have a public defender, that is better than nothing. Often with no lawyer, people get too emotional and interrupt during court proceedings. Not only does this not help your case, it hurts it. It tells the judge you have no self control (which is unfair, but the that is the message to the judge), and often you don't end up getting to rationally state your case. Having an attorney present shows you are serious and the lawyer can help you to hold your comments until it is your turn. You also say your ex made up lies about you. Get your proof together. Your son did not change schools. Prove it. Get copies of his records. Your older son does not live with you. Prove it. Show his utility bills from another address, or rent receipts from another address. Be as business-like and organized as possible. Have as much proof in writing as possible regarding all acusations. If he is saying you have mental or emotional problems, go see a doctor and get them to state otherwise. This is going to take some work to fix and as hard as it is, you must buckle down and do what needs doing. Get your friends involved. An outside viewpoint can help you organize your thoughts and keep you on track. Getting your son back needs to be your primary focus.

So:
1. Cooperate with visitations. Be ontime/early.
2. Keep visitations positive. No ex-bashing. No CPS bashing. No whining.
3. Get yourself strong. Physically and mentally.
4. Get your proof together. Document everything.
5. Get focused. Make getting your son back your mission. Jump through whatever hoops are necessary, whether they seem fair or not.
6. Get help. Lawyer. Friends. Pastor. Teachers. This is not a time to worry about imposing. You need support.

If you are doing visitations through CPS or the court I would advise just to follow the rules, do everything that is asked of you and do not discuss the situation with your son when you see him just have fun. I would also recommend seeking out a lawyer, find a way if you can't afford one and don't use a court appointed one if that is the case, they do not work as hard for you as for one that you actually pay.

what does your lawyer say?

you might have to just deal with this for now and ask to go back to court soon after this 'supervisor' of your time together sees that you treat your son well.

Sorry, I don't know a lot about this. Hang in there.