Vietnamese Culture

Food. He probably isn't eating much, so some single serving, frozen homemade meals with instructions on them would probably be very welcome. It sounds like he would like some moral support, so inviting him for meals when he is home would be nice too so that he can relax and talk through some things.

If he's sitting at the hospital a lot why not put together a little care basket for him...small snacks, a couple easy to read magazines, wipes, gift cards to fast food in the area or Starbucks. Think of what you would been if sitting at a hospital for hours on end and go from there...how terribly sad. Hug!

Food! I would make a one dish meal like a casserole that he could eat, I'm sure eating is the last thing on his mind. If you notice other things that need to be done like lawn care etc I'm sure he would appreciate the help there too.

I'm sure just knowing that he can talk with you is a comfort. Maybe invite him for coffee or dinner once in a while.

It's really nice that you are looking out for him, I'm sure he appreciates it.

A neighbor and good friend of mine passed away this year and her husband didn't want much, either. I sent him a pretty fruit arrangement from Edible Arrangements (there may be other companies in your area) and he loved it. He wasn't eating much at the time due to the stress, but this made it really easy for him to have healthy little snacks. It was also different from the flowers everyone else was sending.

I'm so sorry to hear about your neighbor's situation.

I would just keep checking in on him and keep asking if there is anything you can do. Invite him over so he can talk, like he asked. Maybe take him over plates of food so he doesn't feel he has to cook? I don't know, that is so sad. I'm sorry you are going thru this.

How about mowing his lawn? If you haven't been close enough to spend a lot of time inside each others' homes, it might make him uncomfortable for you to clean his house. Outside is a different story, though. If he isn't the type of person who is very meticulous and specific, with a prize-winning garden he tends to, basic lawn care can be very helpful. He shouldn't have to be bothered with that at a time like this, so it might be a pleasant surprise for him to come home from the hospital to a neatly manicured lawn. You might ask if you can cut his grass next time you cut yours, just to be sure he's okay with it.

My parents have next door neighbors that are Vietnamese and when their father had a heart attack and was in the hospital my parents weren't sure what to do since they are very culture oriented. They did lend an ear whenever needed but they also put together a snack basket with lots of teas. Every now and then would take a meal over but weren't sure if it was eaten. They really liked the teas they sent over though. Invite him over for tea and then lead into him staying for dinner or taking food with him. I'm very sorry to hear about his wife and I'll pray she comes through it ok.

How sad. I think prayer is the best place to start, because sometimes that's all you can do! Just be there for him with a smile and kind words whenever you see him. Keep asking him how she is doing and if there is anything they need. Sometimes people don't want "stuff", they just want to be able to talk. I'll say a prayer for the situation myself!

You might also ask if there is anything you can do at their house to help.... whether it be with laundry, cleaning, watching the house, getting the mail and newspapers into their house, etc.... whatever needs to be done so he can just spend the time with his wife.

Also, reassure him that you will be watchful to make sure no one is there that shouldn't be.....

And... it does sound like he needs an ear.... be willing to listen.... I know he is a very private person, but if he wants to talk about things they have done in the past, to relive memories, that helps, also.