Very Clingy Toddler - Fuquay Varina,NC

what ever you do don't sneak out!! She will stop trusting you... mine (3 years old) cries anytime I have to leave her at home so before I go I tell her - Mom has to go out for just a little while and you're going to stay with _______. She will say ok. but reluctantly. From everywhere i've read on the net (like babycenter.com )toddlers do have a fear of their parent going out especially at night. Good luck and enjoy it while you can because before you know it you will just be embarrasing to her! LOL

Are you a SAHM? I also have a shadow of a 3 year old and just recently went back to work. I know it is hard, but given a safe environment that is fun and loving, she may just need to be left in someone else's care for a short period each day if that is possible. My dd just started preschool 3 days ago and is already crying less. In fact, today when I dropped her off, she had stopped crying before I even left the church. I know it is SOOO hard to see them cry and I myself cried the first day. I think the most important thing is to know that she is safe and will have fun and social interaction. Best of luck. Email me if you'd like to talk.
S.

It will be okay..

hi, 1st. you need to start at home and don't hold the child all the time let dad do things for her, you do all the time for her make sometime for her and dad ,so she will not just be thinking of momma does everything for me let her do on her on what she can do so she can be herself .we as mom's do everything for them they will not act the way they should... its hard but it has to start at home with mom and dad to help her ,so let her go some don;t hold on to her so tight or she will be a mess in her older life. YOU CAN STILL LOVE HER IN DADDY' ARMS TOO. and listen to you husband when he say's let me do this for her ,are husbands do know alot of things we ladied have hard time with,like holding our babies ALL THE TIME.some one told me i was going to carry my baby girl until her feet grug the ground ,i almost did, until i had to tuff love her it was hard but the Lord Jesus helped and showed me the way and you can too,let her go and love her and she will still love you too. J. N

My son was always a bit clingy. He is 5 and started school this past August. He also had to start before and after school daycare, but he isn't there more than an hour total every day, if he goes at all. I kid you not, my son cried every day, til around lunch time (10-11 or some time in there) til the middle/end of October. We got the first semester report and were told he was probably going to fail, and he had alot of learning to pick up. He is right on target now, depending on what it is, he's way ahead of class. It broke my heart every single day, but you just have to get a routine. Make her spend time with her dad, when you got out shopping. She isn't going to be happy, and likely, your husband may be a tad irritated that she was upset, perhaps the entire time, however, over time, she will get used to it. And one day, she's going to tell you that you can go and she'll be a big girl. Its not going to be easy. Had i known it was going to ba as hard as it was for my son, i would have started putting him in daycare or something atleast a year before. Daycare staff also know kids have to adjust on there own terms. And i would get a report every day from them tell me how he did. Its going to break your heart, but its going to be easier over time. Good luck!

I'm 30 years old with a daughter who is a few weeks shy of 3 years old myself. She's extremely independent and I have no problems with clinyness. Of course, there are moments where she wants to hold onto me and says, "mama i want you". I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions for you, other than telling her "let's be a big girl and ..."

T. YOU NEED TO TAKE HER TO A DAYCARE ANYWAY AND LEAVE HER FOR ABOUT 2 OR THREE HOURS,AND TRUST ME SHE WILL COME AROUND,BECAUSE WHEN SHE START REAL SCHOOL YOU WILL NOT HAVE A CHOSE AND THAT WILL MAKE IT REAL HARD ON THE CHILD.

i believe it is the age. my twins are like that. but they are getting better now they are in school. have u tried sneaking out while she is playing. do u tell her mommy will be right back. then u get back say see mommy came back or something like that. make sure u tell her that u are caoming back. my twins are five and they cried the first day of school but the only time they do cry and don't want me to leave is when i got to work. they are getting use to that and one will say u coming back. i tell them yes i am coming back and give them hugs and kisses before i leave. she will cry when u leave but let her. she will be fine. leave made for five minutes and then come back. then try ten next and so on. i hope that works. but i really think its the age. the fear u won't be coming back.

Hey T., My 5 year old is the same and he has been in day care ever since he was 8 weeks old!! Our little ones have to accept the fact that we need our time too!! Usually, mine would only cry and throw a fit for about 5 minutes!! The mistake I would make is to go back in to comfort him! It was hard to leave and see him scream and cry, but it only lasted 5 min even though every day until he was 4 !! Your daughter needs some alone time with her dad too. He needs to take her for some fun activities even just in her room, playing a game she likes or reading to her, or whatever it is she loves to do!! Dont feel guilty for wanting some time away from her, it is normal and healthy!!! If you have to leave the house, give her fair warning, explain to her that you will be back and she will have lots of fun while you are gone!! Dont give up!!!

T.,
don't fight against this need she has to be with you, it'll go away soon. It must be a time when she needs you more than normal, so what? Pushing her away will only make her feel insecure, you don't want that.
Just give her what she needs, there's nothing wrong in wanting mama! Try not to be selfish and pushing her away just to have your own freedom (I know you deserve it but this is temporary), she needs you now and in the future there will be times when you will wish she needs you so much!!

S.

T.,
I am going through the same thing with my 5 year old son. The only mommy time I have is when he is at school. Is your daughter in daycare? If not than let that be an option. It would be better for you. You can have your mommy time alone and she will develop her social skills. And also have your husband take her to the park or to the store this way it will allow her to become more comfortable with him.