I am a stepmom who bought my 7 and half year old stepdaughter a camisole/undwrshirt and sports top/1/2 camisole/sports bra I guess. It is loose and its a pull over. She did not want her undeveloped breasts to show in her fashionable loose tank top or her ballerina type "dancing with the stars" dress that was fitted on the top and below the knee and frilly. All age appropriate. She was literally begging for a real training bra. I said no and compromised with the full and half camisole. There are no hooks or closures or anything other than a loose pull over 1/2 camisole. As I have already raised a daughter I realize she is trying to get away with things her mothers probably saying no too. For instance, our trip to Target also included a visit to the shoe department. She wanted wedge heeled sandals. During which time I thought they were too high and not appropriate and she told me her mother said no. I told her I agreed with her mother. I feel as though I am being attacked for this. It is the mothers responsibility to communicate with us since it is always in the child's best interests but she refuse and alienates her and others from my husband and now me more so. I respect motherhood and fatherhood and want nothing more than her experiences to be hers as mine were my own. I will say that it is tough with false accusations and lack of communication it is challenging trying to find a way to break through that wall to be cordial. I am the older one without the hurt feelings but I am struggling. How wrong is all this? Will it ever get better?
Is her mom attacking you? If she wont communicate, I would just go by your own motherly instinct & do whatever you think is right. If the childs Mom doesnt agree, she can discuss it with you, otherwise, why try to figure out her opinion? You sound very reasonable to me.
from what i gather mom wouldn't buy her a training bra and you got convinced to buy a decent substitute. I have a daughter and a step daughter so I get both ends. I still remember when we pierced SD ears without talking to her mom (my husband had custody for the record) all heck broke loose and while I didn't at the time, I get it now. let her be mad, you didn't do anything wrong and you didn't take away the mother daughter bra buying experience, she'll get that still and in the process you made your step daughter more comfortable in her clothes and with her body. as for the rest of it, if she won't communicate with your husband, there is little you can do. nod and smile and stay out of it as best you can and just do the best you can when your step daughter is with you to honor both your relationship with you and her relationship with her mother.
Who is attacking you? The 7 year old?
That comes with the territory.
If her mom says no to something and you, from the way it sounds, agree with her mom, I don't think I understand the problem.
On the other hand, her mom might let her do things that you don't agree with letting her do and that's okay too.
My step son tried convincing me that his mom let him do this and that and you know what? It didn't matter to me. First of all, he was blowing smoke up my rear end and secondly, he wasn't at his mom's house when he was with us. I'm not talking about innocent things like staying up a little later on weekends. He spun some real tales about what his mother let him do.
Any kid worth their salt will try it. At least once or a few times.
And, if mom says no....a kid will ask dad in the hopes that he will say yes. If mom and dad say no....there's step mom to try it out on.
It doesn't sound like she's asked for anything too crazy and it sounds like you handled the situation appropriately.
The worst thing you can do is just give her what she wants, against your best judgement, so she'll "like" you.
If the girl thinks you're being mean for not letting her have what she wants....dang right. You're mean. The evil stepmother.
Don't get played like a fiddle.
You know what's right.
Best wishes.
I don't understand who is attacking you...please clarify?
