Two Questions: Daughters Behavior & Advice/Opinion on LeapFrog Items

Updated on November 07, 2009
T.M. asks from Brooklyn, MI
19 answers

Dear Mamas,

I have a couple of questions for those who wish to help...

1) My daughter, which is my middle child and to turn 3 the day before Thanksgiving, is in this stage of complaining about EVERYTHING. It's a constant "I don't want to..." or "NO" is a very harsh way. While complaining she's doing the whole limp body action and rather crying about it. It's so mentally exhausting! Have any of you out there experienced this with your daughter and if so, how long do I have to look forward to in dealing with this behavior? Also any suggestions on how to deal with it?

2) OK so Christmas is approaching and my mom is wanting to do some early shopping sometime soon. I'm looking at this for my 4 year old son.

I came across some LeapFrog items that I'm curious as to what you mamas out there think is the better option???? I REALLY want the most educational item and which seems to have a longer playing life (meaning they don't get bored within a week of having it). The items are...

Leapster2 Learning System

Leapster Learning Gaming System

Tag Reading System

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So What Happened?

So far so good on the advice. I knew I could count on all of you Mamas out there to give me a different perspective at looking at her behavior. I have been so far taking the "IGNORE IT" approach and it does help. I also make sure to let her know that I don't appreciate her attitude and that her attitude will get her nothing and if it allows I'll give her an option. I tend to at least send her to her room for the meltdowns so that I don't get more fustrated listening to it. I figured as much that it's her fighting to gain independence. I'll just roll with it, be firm with my actions and make sure to be consistant on how I handle it.

Also thanks so much for the advice on the LeapFrog items and also for recommending other options for me to look at, which I have done so already.

Ya'll are great!

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S.C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I think the only difference between the leapster and the leapster2 is that one can go on the internet (the 2) and the other can't. My kids have the leapster, and have "letters on the loose" they love it when they can play. My 5 and 7 year old are too old for the game, and it is the only one we have for it, my dad got it for them and was supposed to get more for gifts... like 2-3 years ago! They have games that are age appropiate from 3-8 or so. I like it, much better than other video games kids can have!
Oh, my dd got sassy around 1 or so, is almost 6, and the attitude really kicked off around her 5th b-day. Good luck. I have heard they don't grow out of it until they are adults... so hang on! LOL! Sorry that isn't much help!

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A.S.

answers from Lansing on

My 6 year old has the Leapster 2 and has had it since last Christmas. I think it's a little advance for my 3 year old son, but then again, maybe it's just the games I get for it. Anyway, my 6 year old loves it and still plays with it. You just have to buy games occasionally or they will get bored.

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

I would guess with your daughter that she is looking to stress her own independence. My son pulls this even now, tho luckily, not as often as he did in that stage. We corrected it by ignoring it. I realize it's not easy to do when your attempting to get something done. However, I do offer my son choices - as soon as he was able to point. (So this started at about a year or so, he's now five.).

I feel that when we offer them specific choices, this helps to reduce those tantrums. It did for me, anyway.
I would pick two things out of what we needed and he was able to decide the 'final' vote. It still works for us!

I am a huge believe in choices and I feel depending on what you let them decide, it helps them understand the consequences of their decision - i.e. a specific toy they may want at the store, a type of flavor of drink, clothing - you name it. But it really does work once it's implemented. (Hey - little ones are people too, and should be encouraged to think and decide for themselves.)

As for Leapfrog toys - we have had only bad luck with everything we have purchased or had gifted to us. Nothing lasts, we had to purchase a new item to replace one that broke and it croaked as soon as the receipt to return it expired. I actually prefer V-Tech as these are also educational and we have items from my son being a baby. I truly feel V-Tech is a much better brand!
In addition, my son was actually very good to his Leapster products... He is surprising nice to his toys by not banging them, tossing or hitting.
(When he's not playing with his toys, I trust him on my computer on PBS Kids and Playhouse Disney. I have also found some educational websites designed for at-home teaching. I actually prefer that over gaming systems.)

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C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi Tyra,
I really love our Leapster. Unlike the previous mom we've had no problems with ours. We've had ours for 3 years and the kids have loved it. We had a v-tech system before that and it broke within a few months. I was disappointed with it. This was a long time ago so maybe they make them better now but I'll probably never by v-tech again.
Chris

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M.G.

answers from Detroit on

Couldn't function or travel without our Leapster 2. The thing is indestructible. It has been dropped, walked on, thrown down stairs and is still going strong. It does eat batteries though. As a former K teacher, I love the way it mixes educational and fun. I do not like the v-tech stuff at all. The leapster is totally portable and no hooking up to a tv. We have the tag reader as well and it is less popular in my house. My son loves the animal cards though. He likes to hear the different sounds the animals make. My son is still not mature enough to use the pen correctly to sit down and "read" the books. Hopefully he will grow into it soon.

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M.S.

answers from Lansing on

Personally I think the terrible 3's are worse than the terrible 2's, my daughter started doing the same thing (see's her daycares providers daughter do it to her mom)you need to put a stop to it right away, use time out or take something away from her until she stops, but what ever you do do not let her see that its working (getting you fusterated) cuz then she will keep doing it, and dont argue with her about it, just put her in time out tell her calmly that you are not going to deal with her attitude and walk away and continue what you were doing before it started, hopefully she will see that its not working and it will stop.

Also... I bought my daughter the tag reading system when she was 2 1/2 she is now almost 4 and she still plays with it almost daily there are several books that you can buy for it and it is easy to use plus very educational, its fun and it helps them learn to read. It has a carrying case and headphones you can buy so you can take it anywhere and it helps to teach responsibility bcuz they have to take care of it. I dont know anything about the other two items but I hope I help out a little :) good luck

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L.H.

answers from Detroit on

I think you need to ignore your daughter's behavior as much as possible - she's at the stage where she wants to exert her independence and that's what she's doing.

As for the Leapfrog stuff, we currently have a Tag Reader and so far my son (just turned 5) likes it. He's only had it for about 2 weeks so we don't have a ton of experience with it yet. He also plays with a Leapster at daycare (he's getting his own for Christmas) and loves it. It was originally one of the other kids, but that boy grew out of it so he leaves it at daycare for the littler kids.

I know you didn't ask, but we also have a V.Smile from V-tech and my son really likes that as well.

Although they are so-called educational things, don't forget that they aren't going to teach your kids themselves - you also need to take a role.

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A.M.

answers from Detroit on

All three of my girls have gone through that for various lengths of time. I agree with those who have said to ignore it, unless they are doing harm to themselves or others. I put my girls in their room and let them melt. They have to stay there until they are ready to talk nicely, apologize or act appropriately. I never put a time limit on it.

As for gifts for your son, we love the TAG reader. My 6,4, and 2 year olds all love playing with it and it really does seem to help them learn to read.

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C.C.

answers from Detroit on

Tyra,

You've already gotten some wonderful advice from our moms so I'll share my Leapster knowledge. The best thing we've found from Leapster is the DVD called Letter Factory. They sell for $10 in the DVD section at Target. It's a little video that teaches children to recognize the uppercase alphabet and their sounds. It's truly awesome! I wish we had known about this video years ago! My children love it and have requested to watch it over and over. Just this morning my Kindergartener ask to watch it.

Good luck and hang in there!

C.

P.S. My daughter will be 8 years old on Nov. 25th!

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S.M.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi Tyra, To your first question: If your daughter is getting ANY attention for this behavior, then she is being rewarded for it. Just as if you gave her a piece of candy each time. This will keep getting worst, unless the adults stop responding to it. Simply walk away. Do not try to pick up the "limp noodle". Do not negotiate! Talking is attention. Kids don't care if they receive negative or positive attention, as long as they get it. Wait for her to behave in a good way, then lavish her with compliments and rewards like special privleges. When she realizes that in order for her to receive acknowledgment from the adults around her, she must behave in a certain way, she will step up to the plate, and change her game plan. Remember: reward good behavior every time, and walk away from the bad. Consistency is the key, so all the adults in her life must practice the same form of disipline. Hope this helps.

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A.K.

answers from Detroit on

Good Luck with your daughter.. Be firm with your rules and keep following through..

as for gift ideas for your son. We bought the Tag reader for my son for his 4th birthday..he loves it and so does my 6 year old daughter. I LOVE IT AS WELL.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

All toddlers turn into noodles at some point. Just be fair, firm and consistent so she knows you mean business. She will get it. As for the Leap Frog stuff...my daughter has used some of those learning toys and loves them.

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S.N.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter, now 12, also did that. You need to ignore it otherwise it will get bad as she will use it to get your attention. Give an option when having her do something. At bedtime you could ask which would you like to do first? Get your jammies on or brush your teeth? This makes them feel they have some power and they tend to respond better than by giving a direct order.

My kids are 12 and 16 so it has been awhile since we had leapster in the house, but it was great when it was! I did notice your having Tag reading system down. If you want to give your son a huge jump on reading I would like to suggest a program very popular in the homeschool community. My friends all swear by it! It is an online program called Headsprout.

Good luck!!

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

I give my sons choices which mostly eliminates the tantrums because they feel they are in control. My youngest who is now four went through the same behavior as your daughter at about the same age. I would immediately send him to his room as soon as he started to melt down. I would calmly tell him "I don't want to hear that noise, it's not the right way to express yourself and when you're ready to use your words you can come out of your room". If you're not comfortable sending her to her room give her a spot in the house where she has to sit until she is calm. My son would calm down real quick and call out "Mommy I stopped crying, can i come out now?" Also it didn't take many times of doing this before stopped the crying altogether, it's very rare that I have to do this now but when I do it works really quickly.
I guess the main thing is to be consistent, I give two or three choices and do not waiver from those choices. My boys know that telling me no or crying will not help them get what they want, it will get them sent to their room.
This phase will pass, good luck

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M.P.

answers from Detroit on

Leap Frog items are great! How long your children will be interested is based on the child. With having three children those "toys" can be passed down and retain value.

With regards to your 35 month old girl. Look at her diet. Is she getting fruits and veggies in her diet every day? Drinking water? How about protein? Is she getting at least 9 hours of sleep each night? All these things have an affect on behavior.

Hope this helps.

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J.M.

answers from Lansing on

I didn't pay attention to the whining and it stopped. Give them a choice and move on. She will learn quickly if you ignore it.

I had a Leapster and all three of my kids used it for years.

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A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Tyra - my son got a Leap Frog hand-held game when he was five and absolutely loved it. I think that would be a good purchase because there are lots of popular games, like Cars, Batman, Star Wars etc and it's also educational. As far as your daughter goes, I think you actually answered your own question - she's a middle child lost in the mix of two other very young children. I think you need to remember that she is only three - very small - and perhaps you allow the little one to be a baby but not her. Toddlers can be tough but just be patient and don't expect too much from her. (Also, the four year old is very small, don't expect too much from him either!). - Alison

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C.C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I have a 4 yo daughter who did the same thing, and occasionally still tries it to see if it might work the next time around. The ONLY thing (and I've tried them all!) that works for my girl is completely ignoring it, no matter how frustrating it can be, just act like it's not happening. I've even had to ask her questions in one of these fits and I just ask her like I would if she were being her sweet little self. When whatever threw her into the tantrum happens again and she responds in a better way, I am sure to tell her how much better she acted and that it makes me happy. We've actually been going through it this week, for some reason, she's been trying it about once a day. The first day I screwed up and tried time outs, taking toys & Halloween candy away, but it just escalated her tantrum. If they know you won't pay attention to them in that state, chances are they'll try something else, hopefully something that's more positive!
I don't have a comment on the LeapFrog systems, I'm actually looking into that for my kids for Christmas, too!
So, I'll be checking to see what other people say about it!
Best wishes!!

BTW, I saw someone else mentioned diet. I find that when my kids are getting a lot of sweets (especially now since they just went trick-or-treating) that their behavior is much worse. I've been limiting it and it does help.

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A.C.

answers from Detroit on

We have the vtech and the leapster2. my boys (5 &3 love their leapsters the best. The games are pretty cool and they take them on planes and in cars for long drives. Plus you can get a nice hard case for them.

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