Two Grandmas

Okay, I am the grandma that gets to see my grandson all the time & yes I LOVE it ! I have been with him since he was born & live about 1/2 mile away. I am very, very lucky. My suggestion is like the ones before. Let the lucky local Grandma enjoy all the time she has with her grandchildren & let out of town grandma have her own special memories. An idea would be for both Grandmas to plan an outing with just the grandkids, like to the park, McD's, or Chucky Cheese's. Good Luck

When your MIL visits--make it HER time.
Tell your mom you'll see her after MIL goes home.

Why dont you tell your Mother not to come over on the days that your MIL visits? That way your MIL can have the kids to herself, no one throws fits, no one gets jealous.

Your Mother sees the kids all the time, so she needs to let your MIL have her alone time too.

We have a similar situation - MIL lives 3 hours away, my mom 15 min away. My mom works alot, so doesn't see the kids THAT often, but definitely once a week, plus they have routine sleepovers etc. These are things I do:
1. I make sure the kids talk on the phone with my MIL once every week or 2.
2. Whenever they get a package from my MIL I make sure we sit down and open it right away, they know who it's from etc, and they call and thank her.
3. When MIL is visiting I NEVER have my parents over. That's rude! They traveled 3 hours and spent money on gas and tolls to come. It's THEIR time. Unless it is a special occasion like coming up we have my son's 1st bday party where both sides of the family will be there, and my daughters' dance recital. So we deal with those things sensitively.
4. I always email pics of the kids to my in laws.
5. On my in-laws part, they visit often, take the kids to their house etc. They come once a month or so. My MIL is also VERY good about sending care packages for every single holiday with cute little things (not expensive but thoughtful) and the kids love that.

I think they like both sets of GPs equally.

Yeah, I agree with the others. Combining Grandmas is just asking for trouble. One at a time!

:)

Don't have your mother over while MIL is in town. There is no reason why you should have to have her there when MIL is there. Help your son establish a relationship with MIL and by separating the two, this will help! Problem solved. Good luck~

I'm sure she loves it a little. Anyone would.
Your MIL J. has to realize she gets to see them more. If she isnt in tears over it let it be.
If anything J. don't invite your mom over when shes there. they should get one on one time with your mil without her since she doesnt have the privlidge of being so close. Your mom should understand. You could even say...mom the kids prefer you and it hurts my mil's feelings. I know this won't change so is there any way you can not stop over the few days shes here so she doesnt feel as if its rubbed in her face, and so the kids want to interact with her, because often when you're there they don't want to go to her because they love you so much?

ETA: if it's a function, then perhaps invite MIL to come earlier than your mom so she gets some QT with your son and works on the relationship. Presumably she stays longer because she travels so far, so keep giving it time. If your mom is gloating, take her aside and ask her to do x or y (like not give 15 minutes of good-byes) because it not only makes her look selfish, it isn't good for the kids. She KNOWS they love her. And sometimes loving them back means giving them room to love others, too.

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Give them one-on-one time. My mom's parents lived across the country, so when they visited, it was special and we didn't go visit my local grandparents during the week they were at our home. If it were my mom that were local (she's not, MIL is), I would ask her to change her routine so that the kids could get some special time with MIL who doesn't see them much.

I'd also look at how your mom comes and goes. Does she make a big deal or give hugs and kisses and leave quickly?

My mom lives out of town. When she comes to visit, we usually plan one dinner get together with the families - often at a neutral zone, like a restaurant. Other than that, my mom gets the kids "to herself". My MIL completely understands this, it has never been an issue. So simply stop inviting your mother over when you MIL is in town.

Your son sounds still very young. As he gets older, I think things should even out more... I do have an idea, though- how about finding something that he enjoys a lot and having him do it ONLY when the MIL is in town? They can have that special time with just the two of them... like, to go to a "special" playground, go play mini-golf, feed the ducks, scavenger hunts, swimming, flying a kite, etc. you get the idea.

But I wanted to say something because we have the same issue here! My mom is 15 min away and the 4 kids are crazy about her. They see her all the time and I like her too, but I honestly get SO annoyed when she complains she didn't see them twice in a week. She expects and wants ALL the grandparent attention. Like, Christmas, Thanksgiving, "grandparent's day" at school. My Inlaws don't even get a chance. She also is a person with STRONG opinions, so sometimes i worry about my kids being brainwashed. My inlaws are much more tolerant, accepting and open-minded, I'd love to see them have more influence over the kids.

On the flip side, she babysits for us from time to time (bout 3 times a month), and I want her to know we really appreciate her a LOT, so...

At the end of the day, I just wished we were equal distance from us, whether that be 5 hours or 5 mins. Just want a balance:)

I think the most simple solution to this problem is to give MIL her time with the kids when she visits (this means asking you rmother to stay away for the short time periods that your MIL is there). You mother probably wont be happy about it but your MIL deserves to get the childrens undivided attention when she is there since she sees them far less often than your mother.

My kids are "closer" to my parents...for many reasons. And mind you I have two sets (parents are remarried) and kids are super close to both sets.

1.We live close to them. Hubs parents live 6 hrs away and RARELY maybe once a year come to visit. We go there a few times.
2. His parents don't visit as much as mine did...even when we lived 12 hours from my parents they would make a monthly weekend trip.

But as OneAndDone said...when you MIL come to visit it your mom should not be there unless it's a "special occasion".

I know I was always "closer" to my moms mom. I spent a lot of time with her when my parents got divorced actually lived with her before my mom met my "other dad".

I think it's normal for kids to know one set of gparents more than another. If your MIL has a problem with she also can do other things to make more of an effort. It's not just your responsibility.

When your MIL visits why is your mom around? Make sure those days are just for ya'll...schedule a lunch with your mom so they can visit but that should be your MIL's time.

Always a tough situation..good luck,
DH