My husband and I have a 21month old son. I stay at home with him full time and love it. However, I feel like my family is not complete. Last summer we found out we were pregnant again when my son was 8 months old. This was a giant shock to us because we were not trying. We were not using any form of birth control. (probably tmi but my husband was pulling out) Anyway, my point is we were not trying. I found out the day before my sons first birthday that I was having a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I did chose to have a dnc or dne which ever it is called. We were getting ready to board a plane the next day to look at houses bc we were moving. I was worried I would be in the emergency room while we were out of town.
We waited for 4 months to start trying again. It was really hard on me. Mentally and physically I was just not ready. The first couple of months we just hit days 10-16 to see what would happen. The last 3 months I have been taking my temperature and using ovulation sticks. According to both I am ovulating. We are going on our 6th month. (my son was concieved on the first try) I am trying not to stress about it bc I know that does not help but I am starting to get worried. I have my yearly scheduled next month and an appt. to talk with my ob about it. I guess my question is should I be worried? Is is possible to have scaring after a dnc to hmake it harder to get pregnant? Next month should I just forget about the ovulation sticks and my temperature?? My dr. office did say to only have intercourse every other day. Has this happend to anyone after conceiving so recently??
Thanks everyone for your helpful tips. Sorry it has taken so long for me to follow up. I really thought I would be writing this with good news of being pregnant. However, that is not the case. I am extremely frustrated because we are going on 7 long months of ovulation sticks and checking my temperature. (I do have the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and aboslutely love it. I take my temp for 3 months. I didn't the last 2 months because I needed a break from it thinking that taking my mind off it would help be get pregnant. Plus we went on vacation, so it was a crazy time)
I am a Licensed Massage Therapist so I do look at the Holistic view for a lot of things. I have been doing research on Chiropractic care and fertility. I have seen a chiropractor regularly for 5 years and I stopped last Sept. because we moved and our insurance Ichanged so our visits went up. I got pregnant so easily last time plus I was getting adjusted. I have bben reading about woman Iwho have gooten pregnat on their own within a few month after seeing a chiropractor and have tried everything medically prior. I do have an appt. with my OB/GYN next week for my yearly. (I had to cancel my appt. I had scheduled a couple of month ago) I am not sure what she is going to say. I hope it is something positve.
yes you can have scaring from the dnc but I dont think it would cause any problems getting pregnant again. I had a miscarriage in august and had to have a dnc done then. We starting trying again after a couple of months and got pregnant in december.
Hello S.,
Yes, this is common. And yes it is possible to have scarring with a D&C but it's more than likely just your subconscious that is making it take so long to get pregnant. I always chose to miscarry naturally because I didn't want to be worried about scarring (I read a bunch online when we found out our first baby's' heart had stopped beating at 6 1/2 weeks.) But I don't think it's very common to have that as an issue.
I got pregnant about 3 weeks after we got married. (NOT trying.) But miscarried at 12 1/2 weeks. It took us 6 months to get pregnant with our daughter after that. After our daughter we got pregnant twice very fast but miscarried both of them at 5 and 6 weeks. Then we switched our diets and made a huge lifestyle change. No pop, rarely eat fast food, organic produce, salad every day, etc. We got pregnant with our son on the first try.
HOWEVER, we started trying when our son was about a year old. It took us a few months. We miscarried at 11 weeks. THEN, it took us NINE more months to conceive. I am now 17 weeks pregnant. The waiting each month is so hard. And then I'd get depressed when my period would come...... It is a nasty cycle.
All I can say is that each time we got pregnant seemed to be when we took a "break" and were not concentrating on getting pregnant. One time we were on a mini vacation to Duluth. This last time, we got pregnant on a Sat. but were very much concentrating on getting ready for leaving on a family vacation to Disney World on Monday.
Can you and your husband get away at the time of ovulation this month? Just head to a hotel and relax. Be romantic. Just try to keep your mind neutral and happy.
My OB told me that they did a study in Denmark comparing the conception rates of having sex every other day compared to every day. The every day people blew them out of the water with the conception rates. Depending on ages, cycles, etc. everyones eggs are viable for different amounts of time. Some women only have 4-6 hours when their egg can be fertilized. I would give the every day approach a try this month and see what happens. We have 4 kids and we got pregnant much faster with the every day system and my husband didn't complain either :)
I never miscarried so I can't relate to that.
But I only understand to well the stress you are putting yourself under about getting pregnant. I did that too and the past 8 months were no fun! It got to the point were I had talked myself into being pregnant every month- so not helpful and extremely depressing when you find out you're not.
Now I am at the point that I decided not to pay attention to it anymore because I am too worn out by it all and I just don't want to worry about it. Clearly your subconscious plays a big part in it.
Just relax and take it easy. Wait a little if you're not ready yet...
I m not sure how a DNC affects ability to get pregnant, but I do know that #2 or more can take longer. I got pregnant the first month with my son and just over 1 year later it took us 8 long months to get pregnant with #2. I had Mirena, but they "say" that shouldn't make a difference. We tried the daily method, the every other day method, a conception moon, you name it. Honestly, I FINALLY got pregnant the month that we only "did the deed" twice on the day it said I was ovulating and the day after.
Obviously not ideal, but at the time I was feeling like a failure because I could get pregnant and sure enough! I didn't even realize I was pregnant until a week after I missed my period. Maybe it was the no pressure thing, maybe it was the fact that hubby had lots of swimmers, I don't know, but have faith that it may still happen yet!
I didn't read the other responses, so I apologize if this is repetitive!
Here's the dates of my children: 1987-full term; 1989 miscarriage & D&C; 1993- full term; 1996- full term.
It's very difficult to wait & be patient! But try to relax, check with your doctor to see if all is right......& then put it out of your mind....& you'll find that relaxing, not taking your temp, etc....will make it happen easier/happier/ & quicker! Peace....
I agree with the post that said take a weekend away. It's a lot of work to take care of a 21 month old and manage the home, etc. You need a break. Can grandma watch your son for a weekend? I see you are in the St. Louis area - can you shoot down to Memphis for a relaxing weekend (the Peabody Hotel is wonderful) or even find a B&B in Hermann?
Sorry for sounding like a travel agent, but I really feel that getting away can get your batteries charged. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. You've already received a lot of good advice about family planning - talk to your doctor and keep us posted. Good luck!
My husband and I use natural family planning and it's so nice to learn how a woman's entire cycle works (& helpful!) I would definitely recommend picking up a NFP book or as someone suggested the "Taking Charge of your Fertility" book. I think different ways work for different couples. If you've been having sex every other day during your fertile time, try every day. I have also read that abstaining during Phase 1 of Natural Family Planning (from the first day of your period until Day 6 or a little later) also works for some couples that are having trouble conceiving. Lots of good advice from ppl already, just keep trying and good luck to you!
