Ok where to start..... I am 37 and have a 3 and 4 year old. LIfe is good..... BUT I want another baby.
I know having a baby at my age has increased risks and that does concern me. However the main concernce is hubby had a vasectomy 3 years ago (after our last was born) and so that would have to be reversed.
He is totaly willing. I guess he too has been having thoughts that we made a mistake and should expand our family.
I am just worried we will pay to reverse it and then not get prego.
I got pregnant VERY easy the first two times,but that was over 3 years ago. I am no spring chicken :)
I am very healthy, thin and active.... so I would hope that would help.
I am just not sure what to do. I am seeing my OB in 3 weeks for my yearly and will of course talk to her, but I guess I want to hear from those that had babies at my age AND ladies whose husbands had vasectomy reversals.
I just need to hear some perspective.
I know most will say be grateful for what I have and move on. But I can't help but want to expand the love we have at home.
Anyhow let me have it.. but try and be nice :)
I did want to add we did consider adoption. I am all for that path. I even lived in Souh Africa and worked in an orphanage. But the cost is SO high sadly. I talked to some people in my area and it will take upwards of 2 years and 20k. :(
As for some areas being better with advanced age- I wish I was in that area. Here everyone scares you into thinking you will for sure have a messed up kid, it is dangerous for me, and we are just nuts. I do have real fears of having a baby with a disorder, but I know that can happen to young people as well.
I just have this burning desire from deep within to have another, Like I have been stopping a soul from being. BUT then I wonder if it is just my fears of getting older and knowing that part of my life is done... sigh.....
You're not that old. ;) The risks for problems only go up slightly after 35 but overall they are still low. I had friends who had three boys and had a vasectomy. When their youngest was 8 they had this overwhelming feeling their family was not complete and had it reversed and conceived within a year with a beautiful little girl. She was in her early 40's at the time and the baby was perfect and she is the apple of all of their eyes. :)
If you can afford it financially, no worries on another child. I had my first at 37. Where I socialize and live, it's totally normal.
My SIL's (now ex) husband had a reversal done. She was pregnant less than 2 years later... She was under some stress for a bit right after he had the reversal, or she might have gotten pregnant even sooner.
My best friend is my age, and she just had her daughter last December. She will be one in about 2 weeks. My friend and I are both 44. She was 43 when she found out she was 5 months pregnant. Had a smooth pregnancy, labor and delivery, and a perfectly healthy baby girl. She has been nursing for a year. Everybody is happy.
At 37, you are probably good. :)
My brother had a vasectomy a few years ago and when he met his current wife he had it reversed. It took them 3 months after he was ok'd to try to get pregnant. She is 37 and he is 39. Good luck:)
Every minute you wait is a minute you are getting older. Go for it! God Bless.
My father specializes in Vasectomy reversals. He has a lot of albums in his office. All are filled up with babies from these procedures. It can be very successful. So, if you want to have a child, go for it!
My MIL had her last child( of 5) at 42. He's 18 now, and such an amazing kid.
I'm 40 and pregnant with my third. It took a bit longer to get pregnant this time around (6 months as opposed to 1), but I am so happy we went for it! I spent 2 years going back and forth about it. So silly! If you feel the urge to have another, have one! You only live once. 37 is still so young. ;-)
i had my youngest at 39. He was perfectly healthy and super smart. He is now 11, He adds so much joy to our home. He was a very difficult baby and toddler and at the time I wondered what the heck was I thinking, LOL! But he is such a sweetie. I must say that I am not looking forward to the teen years though. I wonder how I will have the emotional stamina to hold up.
If his vasectomy can be un-done & he is on board, I say go for it.
You sound healthy so talk to your doctor.
Yes as we age there are increased risks so talk to your OB about all the possibilities.
I was 40 and it was difficult for me. I ended up getting lucky.
So I wish you the best of luck. If you & hubby talk & are on board.....do it now! Don't wait!
Regions are so different!!!
Up here, most people start having their first kiddo in their 40's. I had to double check I wasn't reading "47", instead of 37. The idea that you're too old is just out of my sphere of reference!!! Like watching a 7yo smoke, or a dog talk.
Go for it. I mean... Worst case scenario... You have what you already have, right? When you only stand to gain, I guess I don't see the dilemma :)
Can his be reversed?What about the cost of reversal most insurances don't cover a reversal it's all out of pocket are you able to afford the costs of it?If your already know this then begin prenatals have him reversed & go for it only you & your husband know when to add to your family.I personally wouldn't
We just spent the weekend with my aunt and uncle who had a bonus baby when they were 41, 10 years after my aunt had gotten her tubes tied. The baby is now 17 and their bond with him is awesome.
If you do have trouble conceiving, there might be quicker/cheaper avenues available, especially if you work with a crisis pregnancy center, like Total Life Care Centers, or Care Net.
Good luck to you!
It's no secret that your chance for having chromosomal problems goes up after age 35. We planned to be done by or before I was 35. I had my youngest right before I turned 34.
Now I'm 37 and I got pregnant in October with a surprise baby. I recently found out that it's not a viable pregnancy and am waiting to miscarry. I was told that it's likely due to a chromosomal abnormality. I am so devastated by this. Since we weren't planning for this baby, my husband does not want to try to have another. I don't think I could take the worry and stress of this happening again anyway.
But, at the same time, many women 37 and older have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. I think if you really want this, you should just start trying ASAP. Have your husband talk to his doctor to find out the chances of a reversal being successful.
Good luck!
well my mom was 41 when she had my baby brother an the last kidd before that was 15 years. She had became a diabetic but after she had my brother it went away.I think if you and your husband are willing to try... then go for it :) children are blessings:) cause now my moms going to be 44 the 30th of the month and my brother is 3. They are both perfectly healthy
I can not help really but want to say this: if you want another baby, you feel strongly that you should have another baby, your husband is on board and you can care for and love that baby, then have another baby!
We just had our third and are pretty sure that is it for us. My hubby is considering a V. So I can't help with that.
My MIL had a baby at like 42 and she is healthy and happy. And my MIL was not very healthy, thin or active.
I just think if you can afford to raise another child and you have the love in your heart for one, that should be good enough.
I had that feeling that someone was missing from our family. It was horrible! I don't get pregnant very easily, never have. Our youngest was born when I was 41. All it wonderful and we are so thankful that we listened to that feeling that our family just wasn't complete. We really weren't done.
I'm not the subject matter expert on having kids after 35 or vasectomy reversals. I just wanted to say...Start taking your prenatal vitamins and and increase folic acid!
Best of luck!
♥
C. Lee
I had my first at 38 and my second two weeks shy of 43. Both were born healthy and are now happy, energetic and bright kids. Other than my fibroids flaring up, both pregnancies were easy. My challenge now is to keep up with their energy level!
I, too, stressed about the "what ifs", but in the end I was willing to accept whatever situation I was blessed with.
Good luck and I wish you the best in your decision!
For what it's worth, I had my second at 37. No trouble other than my chronic high blood pressure, which is not an age-based factor, and was easily managed because we already knew it was there. Yes, the risk factors for some things are a little higher, but that doesn't have to be a deal-breaker. In fact, if you listen carefully, you may notice that some doctors, when talking about things like Downs Syndrome (usually when trying to sell you on taking tests that you consider unnecessary) will use percents when presenting some things and straight odds when presenting others - choosing the numbers that sound scariest to push you into saying yes. Don't buy into the fear. Do your own research and make up your own mind.
I've just read your "So What Happened?" A note on adoption funding - I haven't done it, but I have friends who have, and there are organizations out there (the ones I know of are church-related) that offer grants or will match funds to help with the expense. You might want to do a little research in that area before you give it up as too expensive.
Good luck with whatever path you decide to take.
I got pregnant for the first time at 42 and the 2nd time at almost 44. Both of my kids are healthy, happy and great kiddos. Go for it!
this is a mom website - if you are new here, you may not know - the answer to these questions is ALWAYS - of COURSE have another baby! so you've got that going for you. rest easy.
sadly, reason rarely comes into it. it's usually just about "i want". and because we are in america, that "reason" usually wins out.
adopt,
lots of babies out there desperately need a home and family
