My son is four and a half and still isn't toilet trained. He won't have bm's in the toilet, no matter what I try. I've tried encouragement, treats, putting him just in underwear, everything I can think of but he won't go in the toilet. He waits until he isn't in the bathroom to go. He starts pre-school in a few months, and I don't want him to get bullied because he still needs reminders to go to the bathroom and won't have bm's in the bathroom. Any suggestions?
Just curious... what do you do when he does have a bm in his underwear?
Aside from being bullied or made fun of the school may require him to be trained, the one we start in the fall does. Time to put the responsibility on him, so take a look at this site, it's geared specifically towards children who refuse to potty train and will take you step by step through the process and explain why you do it this way:
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm
Read it all through and be consistent once you begin, it's time.
This site was a huge help when my little guy was refusing to poop in the potty, and he was literally running to poop in it within a little over a day after implementing the "power incentive", and he had resisted for months.
I think this is something that needs to be addressed by your Ped perhaps, maybe there is something going on in his little head that you aren't privy too (yes, many things I am sure but I mean something that blocks his WANTING to go) years ago my DD #3 would, 'hide' her poop, she actually would go in the potty then pick it up with her training pants & go hide it, later after talking to her about it she said she couldn't understand why she had to, 'flush' something that belonged to her body! I should have addressed it perhaps but by age 4 she had stopped, if I had to do it over again I would have taken her to the Ped & possibly to a counselor of some kind. Your son is old enough mentally & physically to not be having this type of behavior ( just my opinion ) It will be difficult to say the least @ school & I don't even know if they will allow him to stay if the behavior continues, so NOW is the time to let him speak to someone...just wondering, have you asked him why??? Have you addressed the school situation? Have you taken him to the school & allowed him to be present when they go over the rules? Just a few thoughts...I hope he & you can get it straightened out soon...sorry, I don't feel as if I have actually helped much...:(
My son is also 4 1/2yo & is just recently potty trained...in January. He would not go on the potty (pee), unless at home. And don't even think about poop. So for a month before his 4th birthday, I told him that the diapers were gone after his birthday party. He resisted. This was just to get him to pee. A week or 2 after his party, we were at another party & he had to pee. We went to the bathroom & I told him we weren't leaving until he peed on the potty. He fought & said he'd go when we got home....we were going to another party, so that wasn't an option. It didn't take that long...maybe 5 min. But he pee'd. He was not happy about it. Same thing the following day at Church & Target. Then he snapped out of it. And it was all over.
Then the poop battle. I didn't push him, I only talked about what a big boy he'd be, etc. He also knew he'd be getting my H's old iPhone to play on once he pooped. So about 2 mos later, we were in the car & he had to poop & wanted to do it on the potty. By the time we got to a potty, the sensation was gone. But it was only a few days later that he was ready to do it again,
The crazy part is that my youngest was 2 1/2yo at the time of this. He started peeing & pooping on the potty 14 days after my 4yo did it. Crazy!
My oldest is extremely strong willed. He typically doesn't do things unless he's ready.
My advice is to prep him. Give him a month notice. Telling him that on (pick a certain event, holiday, date), & let him know the diapers are gone as of that date. And tell him multiple times/day, so he is reminded constantly. He's old enough to understand now.
I'm sorry he's still fighting this. I thought my 4yo wasn't ever going to be potty trained. He will eventually.
Bribery worked for my daughter, 1 m&m every time she went in the potty until she got the hang of it, but she was two. I have heard that sometimes its a matter of control. Everything else is controlled for him and the only thing he has control over is when and where he goes to the bathroom. Maybe stop pushing it for a while and see what he does? Good luck!
