My soon to be 5year old (Aug. 13th) has started to have bowel accidents in his pants. This varies from once daily to once every few days. He mostly goes on the toilet, but lately the accidents are happening more. He never has urine accident. When asked what's happening..he says he couldn't help, "it slipped out". Never has constipation or loose bowel issues. No change in his diet. Eating same few foods for the last 4 years! Have tried reward charts..not working too well. Little side note, we have been potty training our 3yr old. He is urine trained, but will not have a bm in potty yet. Trying not to make to big of a deal out of this, so it dosen't affect Dominic.
About 2 months ago we were potty training our 3 yr old, Dominic started urinating where ever he felt like it..Including on his floor or outside. This has stopped..now we just have the bowel issues. We are going crazy. He is suppoded to strt kindergarten in Sept. (which he says he is very excited about). Went to prek 4 program. Any thoughts appreciated. I am ready to cry..or scream. My husbamd and I both! I have made Dr appt for this Thurs to discuss. Thanks!
Once something physical is ruled out, have you given any thought to something more of a reward than a sticker chart? It didn't do anything for my son, but picking out a toy at Target really motivated him. Just a thought. Sometimes we do what others are doing or worked the first time and we have to change tactics. Good luck!
My recommendation is similar to the others. Make sure there is no medical reason and then give your older son's accidents as little attention as possible. Instead redirect him by paying more attention to current positive actions. Maybe give him something else to learn since the youngest is learning how to use a toilet. Maybe he can learn how to tie his shoes, make a sandwich, put away the silverware, something chore related.
If you reward your youngest for not having accidents or using the toilet correctly then your oldest may be gunning for those rewards or attention. What ever you do, don't punish for toilet/bathroom/accident stuff. It can create huge issues and becomes a control fight that the child will always win. It's his bowels after all and he can hold them or let go when he likes. Turn it into a fight and you could end up w/ a strategic pooper that likes to "bomb" you in the grocery store, at a party, out at the park, in the car, etc. Or worse he could turn it into "I'm not allowed to go in my pants so I'll go in the corner, on the rug, the couch and such.
So hopefully I didn't scare you but my biggest suggestion is that after making sure it's not medical, drop the issue. Make it no longer a game of action and reward. Have the accident = get the attention. Send him to the bathroom to clean up. He gets to remove his own pants etc. (prepare the bathroom for this - ditch the rugs or have one you don't care about). Put a monster box of wet wipes and a trash can in there and let him deal with it. Go in when he's done and double check the job, but if he's a big boy and is going to school in the fall then you won't be at school to help him when this happens so he needs to learn to deal with it himself. This will quickly become not fun.
I can only recommend getting some new special underwear that he wants to keep clean. Spiderman!
Hi
I don't think there is anything wrong with your son , but you have worked out the reason for yourself in your request...your potty training his younger brother at the moment so in effect he is getting extra attention , your eldest is just acting up , it will pass just hang in there!
K.
it could be a lot of things, response to the kidergarden change, even though he's excited, in response to potty training the baby (who he will now have to share big boy status with), but it's good you're talking to your doctor. My niece started doing this randomly after he little brother was born, but she was 9 yrs old, we couldn't figure it out, even in school and she insisted, it just happened she couldn't control it, even though it didn't seem like diarrhea, turns out she had a bacteria intestine infection and it really was just coming. A dose of antibiotics and it was gone, it was really strange, but the doctor did tests on a sample and was certain. Sorry can't give you a straight avenue, you may have to explore all three things.
The others may be completely right, but it is still worth a trip to the pediatrician. Our son started doing that and it turned out to be a bowel impaction. You definitely want to catch this early!!!! It has taken us several YEARS to get the problem fixed. There is no way to tell if this is physical or mental without an exam. Our son had no other symptoms at all. Even the doctor couldn't tell without an x-ray.
C.,
Kate said what I was going to say. All children do it. When the older one thinks the younger one is getting more attention, they act in any way they can to get your attention, even acting like the younger child. It will pass. What you can do is tell him if he wants to go to Kindergarten, he has to quit going in his pants. Also, try to spend a little extra time with only him. I'm about to go through a similar situation as we will be potty training our youngest. My oldest will be in Kindergarten as well this year. The only thing is that she is autistic, so I don't know what will happen. But I know it will pass whatever happens. Have fun and God Bless.
My daughter has this happen on occasion and she is 5 1/2. Sometimes it is constipation related (train tracks in the underwear), but lately it just comes on suddenly before she realizes she has to go. I don't make a big deal out of it since she genuinely is upset by it. I would talk to him about what he feels before it "slips out" so he can recognize the need to go before it happens and then don't give him any more attention for it than required. if it doesn't bother him, you may want to have him clean himself up afterwards a few times.
