Toddler Resisting Daddy

my younger daughter was like this - stranger anxiety to the max. First I had daddy do things with me in the room but not right there, but that didn't help really. Finally I forced the issue and I just LEFT. After about a month she realized I kept coming back and gave up the screaming. It took longer for the babysitter to get that non screaming kid, but eventually we kept at it enough that it worked.
By the way, she separated perfectly from age 2 1/2 on to anyone easily, so it was not an indication of her personality.

Girl, I got 2 of those...the crying and wailing for me don't even break my heart anymore! When I go to the bathroom, or take a shower, its like the POLICE are a the door. Luckily I work, so I get some time away, but I'm a paramedic, so its other people demanding attention from me (easier than at home...for sure). Ans its for a Fire Dept so there are a bunch of men (boys) there too!
Anyway, I have no answer, other than to stand your ground and get your husband's support. I am not great at that either, but teaching the child they cannot demand everything from you all the time is important! I love to know if anything works...seriously!

I think you pretty much have to get your personal space out of the house. If you are around, she'll want you. That's just how it is. It is hard for Dads to get that bonding time practice if the kid knows you are an option.

Go for walks, do your grocery shopping in the evening or on weekends. The more time they have alone together, the more comfortable she'll be with him. As far as bedtime, have him put her to bed on your class night. Go out for tea if your class is over before bedtime or run an errand.

I bet your husband feels rejected and a bit helpless, so by him having time alone with her, he can feel success and bond with her more. Once you leave, she'll stop crying in a matter of minutes.

Both of my kids did this until they were 4 or so. Drove me Crazy!

I am a nurse and mom of 9 children. In my 'Developemental Psych' class we learned that infants believe that their mother is literally part of them..like an arm or a leg..a natural, normal, healthy, secure feeling reinforced by moms fortunate enough to stay home. I have seen it in my own children.
Staying home and nursing did turn out very secure, selfconfident children/adults..but in the meantime..
1st- this is natural- NOT PERSONAL to your husband. As an infant becomes more independent he/she begins to notice a seperation between themselves and mom. How to help them see that they can be happy, and whole, and just a little seperate, while still secure in your presence is the hard part. It is a type of 'weaning'. It is crucial that your husband understand this, and not take it as a rejection of him. It is a fear of loss..the loss of you, NOT a rejection of him. He and you have to work to show her that she is save and secure with either of you, and that you are ALWAYS coming back. By the way, tell him he is one of those unsung heroes..for supporting your staying home!

You are definitely not alone - First, I think that age is just a very clingy period in general. Second, I would highly recommend asking your husband to take over time with her, even if she is upset for a short while. Daddy at our house seems to always be "the fun one" while mommy is "the caring one" but I think we need to spend more time trying to be the other type of parent. I encourage my husband to snuggle with our daughter and we switch nights back and forth with who gives her baths and who puts her to bed. She still asks, "Mommy, is it your turn?" and she will get upset most times when it's not, but she is getting more used to daddy having a turn too. I tell her we both love her and want to be with her. I think the class your husband and daughter are doing is a great idea. The more time they get to spend, the better! Good luck!

My 27month old is kinda the same, unless daddy is rough-housing with him. My daughter also did this. It is because they have relied on you so much and now that she is getting independent; she just needs to know you are still there. It's a fear that she will pretty quickly get over, but I know how frustrating it is in the mean time. My son walks around the house saying "Mama I NEED you!" I just remind him that mommy has things to do and at that moment it doesn't involve him. Sometimes he just cries at my feet, but he needs to know that I can't hold him all the time. He'll usually give up after about 10min.

I had the EXACT same problem with my daughter when she was this age - and sometimes still do and she is five years old. I had posted the question on Mamasource a couple of years ago and I actually had one mom who inferred that my husband was molesting her and that's why she didn't want to be with him! I have talked to the pediatrician about it as it hurts my husband's feelings quite a bit. He recommended that they have as much alone time together as possible so she gets used to being with him as much as she is with me. What has really helped is that anytime he goes to Home Depot or Menards (which is quite often), she goes with him. That is "their time" together and she really looks forward to it. Also, on the weekends, I go out and run errands while they spend time together playing. She does whine and tells me not to go, but after a minute or two of me being gone, she is too involved playing with daddy to even notice I am gone. I would definitely say make sure they carve out some time together every day if they can.

She just needs to get used to spending time without you. At every opportunity, when Daddy is home of if you can get a neighbor to come over for a few minutes, leave the house. Take a walk or do an errand. Even 30 minutes is a enough.

When it's bath time, announce "I'm running to the store". Daddy is doing your bath tonight. Then split. No chance for fussing or explaining. You are the parent and you make the decisions.

She'll soon learn that her needs can be met by more than just by you. If she asks for a drink, tell her to ask Daddy to get it. Over time her dependence on you will decrease. And soon enough she'll get so big you'll wish for these days again :)

As a single parent, I am VERY familiar with this. It is a developmental stage and will pass. My daughter will be 3 in May and she is beginning to sometimes play by herself but it is only for short periods of time. When I am around, she just wants me to play. When my nanny is here, she is much more willing to play by herself but if I am in the house, it is pretty hard. So yes, I get nothing done - and that is okay. I have just thrown most things off my list and realize that this time will never return. Soon she will be off doing her own thing and not in the least bit interested in hanging out with mom. It can indeed be sometimes overwhelming. I would chat with your husband and organize that you get some time off where you leave. Go out for a coffee with a friend. Go to the gym. Go for a coffee with yourself. Whatever it is, give yourself a little time to just chill. Then when you are home, let it be that your little one will probably want to "help" with the laundry. Up until recently, I didn't even get any peace to shower but she seems to have grown to understand that one. so many of these things that drive us crazy, just pass. The most important thing is that we not traumatize our child by trying to force separation. This can have long term anxiety effects. I found the book "The Science of Parenting" very good on some of these topics. And Brazelton's Touchpoints isn't bad either. Good luck and enjoy.

well, for bedtime, you should try including him in the bedtime routine. Perhaps all sitting together on the couch, he reads book while you hold her at first, then in a couple of days he holds her and reads, then the next night you leave them alone for it, something like that. You should also encourage her to play by herself, at first with you in the room, then gradually without you there until she is able to have you in other parts of the house for longer periods. You should also encourage your husband to do things with her without you. Daddy and daughter dinner out or you go out and grab some coffee or something and they have alone time at home.

We had the opposite problem, my husband and I both work and for some reason, our daughter never wanted me and it was really hurting my feelings. My husband hated that so he just quit cold turkey putting her to bed for a few weeks, which was hard, but now we trade off and she's fine with it.

If she's screaming for you, and she is with your husband, and fine, I would go outside and take a walk. it will be hard but it could help her to know you arent even an option.

If hubby is home make sure you are on the same page (best to discuss while not in front of child), and ask that when you need along time to do whatever that he will back you up and try to distract your daughter.

If I really need time alone, which happens every day, I tell my daughter that mommy needs to get something done by myself, I tell her I love her tons but need a little time to myself and then tell her to go play/hang out with daddy. At first daddy would almost have to pull her away crying, but once my daughter knew that daddy would play with her, read to her or just there if she needs something she would finally just go ok and find daddy. It took a month to get to that point but we got to it and both parents have to be on the same page to have it work. At 3 years old I finally can tell my daughter to go play or color awhile while mommy gets a little down time to clean, read or just breath.

Bed wise we switch every other night putting her down so we each got a break. She finally got use to that because it became routine after awhile. My mother-in-law told me that she always had her hubby read a story and put the kids to bed.