Toddler Lying

It's about the age when kids start lying, trying to manipulate the world to their liking. Just never let him get away with it, so he'll grow up thinking you can always tell. My 16 year old daughter lied alot when she was little, and she'd always shift her eyes and look kinda guilty, and I told her that i always knew when she was lying. Now she doesn't even try lying, but she will leave out the parts she doesn't want me to know (and I find out anyway!)

I'm more concerned about bribing him to eat by offering chips. You can't let a kid eat all junk, but making him eat more than he wants to get the treat food isn't a good habit, either. Try giving him a smaller sandwich and three or four chips, and then if he's still hungry another piece of sandwhich and several chips. That way, the chips aren't a treat, they're just part of his meal, and he learns that we eat chips in moderation and enjoy them and we eat healthy food and enjoy it, and that we quit eating when we are full. Most kids would eat all chips if you'd let them, but by giving him a few to start off, he's more in control of what he eats and he learns better habits.

it sounds like you handled it perfectly. kids this age lie, because they are testing how the world works. he wants to know what he can get away with and what he cant. he also will be learning the difference between truth and lies. up until know, he has probably believed everything that was told to him, and by telling a lie to you, he will learn that people may lie to him. it is all normal and all you can do is let him know that it is not okay, and that you know he lied. keep up the good work.

Consistently present 1 clear message: lying is worse than the thing he did wrong. My daughter was about that age when she lied for the first time. But clear consequences and talking logically through the situations nipped it in the bud. In other words... "If you don't eat your sandwich, you can't have more chips. But lying is an even bigger NoNo. Now you cannot have more chips because you threw your sandwich in the trash and it is gone. You also get a time out (or lose a TV program, whatever). Next time, tell mommy the truth and it will be easier." Then if he DOES say next time, "I threw my sandwich in the trash" then he has made improvement, so you could make an allowance like making him another half sandwich and giving him another chance to eat it for the chips... worked for us, and is still working at age 6.

My youngest is a teenager now, but we sure had some battles over eating when he was small. I agree 100% with Renee S; starting with a small piece of sandwich and a few chips is a great way to handle the chips. I am less concerned about his lying to try to get his chips (any toddler would)than I am that the bribery or withholding a treat or desired food will start an unhealthy pattern and give him the impression that the sandwich (or main course) must not be good, or you wouldn't be making him eat it to get the goodies. Renee is right; they (toddlers) are manipulative, and so much smarter than we give them credit for! As long as he sees that the sandwich and the chips go together, he will come to think of the chips (or whatever) as a part of the meal and not as a treat.

Try not to overreact to the lie about the sandwich; he was just trying to get what he wanted. He knew he didn't tell you the truth, but he is still at an age where he needs to be taught that it is wrong and hurtful not to be honest.

Most of all, relax and enjoy this blessed time you have at home with your babies; they will be grown before you know it!

My 3 year old has started lying lately too and I also have a newborn at home and I was thinking that had something to do with it. It also might be they are just now learing how to pretend so they dont know what lying is yet. So now we have to teach them what lying is and why its bad. I think you handeled it well with showing him you knew what he did and telling him what he did was wrong and about lying. I've been teaching my daughter each time she lies what it is and why its bad then she gets stood in the corner for 3 minutes.

I think you did the right thing. Scolding him is only going to make him afraid to tell you the truth. My daughter will be 4 in a month, and she does stuff like this from time to time. I think it's totally normal. I tell her it's sneaky and that I can't trust her when she doesn't tell the truth, and she will immediately come clean. Kids need boundaries. He may also be acting out a bit because of the new baby.

C., if I may suggest if you have a 'faith' that you participate in that may help to get across what you want.
For example, we are Christian and I just share what our faith says about 'obeying' your mother and father and what is means to be truthful and honest. Being three is hard, maybe consider giving him only a few chips and tell him that he may have more when he is finished with his meal.

You could also be sure to point out things when you ask him a question and he does tell the truth.

You could read the story about the little boy who cried wolf or something along those lines. Your local library should have books on Character building or look online.
Here are some sites to get you started:

http://eho.org/homeschool_prep/article.asp?articleid=82&a...

http://childcare.net/characterbuild.shtml

http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/feature_article.asp

http://www.hem-of-his-garment-bible-study.org/bible-study...

Now, some of the above links are Christian related, if you don't share the same faith you may want to take a peek at just use those things that get your message across and skip the faith based things if they don't apply.

As always do what is best for you and your family.