Toddler Leash??

J.,
I am so glad you started this discussion. I have an 18 month old son who is the most active child I have ever seen. He is run-run-run all day long. A family member of mine made a very negative comment about the harness, and this has deterred me from even considering it. But after reading this thread, I called Target and have one on hold for me right now! You may have saved a life!
-A.

I used one with my second child once he could walk in specific situations. His older brother is 2 years older. I know I could not safely take them to a museum, zoo, etc. alone and be chasing both so either the little one was going to have to stay confined in the stroller, be leashed, or we would stay home watching the Wiggles. He liked being on a lease better but of all the parenting decisions I've made that one got me the most dirty looks. . . . you need a thick skin!

I saw them all over the place when I was in England. I'd bet you would also see it more in cities with big "walkable" downtown areas and city centers (i.e. NYC). I think some people think it's odd because it's not as commonplace to see it here. I'd say get one!

I think it is a great way to help keep your child safe. Obviously you don't want to use it 100% of the time because your child does need to learn to listen to you and stay by your side because he is told to do so, but when you are shopping or busy doing something outside it is a wonderful safety precaution. Just don't use it when you are out for a stroll with your toddler and not doing anything else. The people who say they are for dogs don't seem to have a problem with playpens. Same thing! Dogs have playpens too, and there is nothing wrong with that. I actually have a super yard pen that sometimes I use for my dogs and sometimes for my son depending on the situation!

If it's a horrible thing then I guess I'm horrible, haha. We have one of those backpack harnesses. Like this, but I got it at Wal-Mart for $10: http://www.kustommemories.com/index.php?act=viewProd&... We don't use it regularly but when we're in a crowded place it's been wonderful. I have a wanderer who doesn't want to ride or be held as much as he wants to explore on his own.

You'll find people who are going to give you the dog speech and you'll find people who think it's just fine. Most of the people I run into think the backpack is cute. You just have to decide what works best for your situation and not worry what anyone else thinks about it.

If it makes you feel better, I have a story for you. One day I was in Walmart looking at sunscreen, and my daughter was IN the cart sitting. The cart was right in front of me, and just a second of looking at the products someone took the whole cart and began walking down the aisle. I FURIOUSLY walked up to the lady with clenched fists about to punch her lights out and grabbed the cart away from her. She looked at me and started walking quickly away saying loudly " I thought someone left her there" fully knowing she was mine! I was so overwhelmed I just stood there shocked looking at my daughter begining to cry. I can honestly say, I almost lost her that day. After that, one of the first things she learned to say was "You are not my mommy" whenever a stranger comes in contact with her so everyone will know if someone tried to swipe her again. You never know if you and your child will be a victim of these sorts of things, and I say better be safe than sorry. At that point, I would have put her in a cage if it would have kept her from being abducted and safe. There are to many stories and crazies out there that you have to protect you and your family at any cost. Don't second guess yourself when you are doing something that you know in your heart will make things safer and protect your baby. There are to many other reasons that us moms find ourselves feeling guilty!

Target has some cute backpacks that have an attachable leash. They're sold in the infant area, and are about $10. They've got a dog and either a monkey or a bear, can't remember which. I used it for travel - I just like the security of knowing that if I need to turn around for a moment at the airport, I still have a hold of her.

Lots of people have given me compliments on it when I travel. I wouldn't be surprised if you got some rude stares if you used it in the store, because a lot of people think it should be easy to either hold your toddler's hand or have a perfectly behaved toddler that will walk neatly by you as you shop. Those of us with toddlers understand that toddlers will be toddlers, and a harness isn't your way to keep from holding them, but a way to keep them near you and safe. So, expect some rude stares, and expect some knowing kind glances as well.

I am considering getting one for my 19 month old...I have a 4 year old and another on the way in june. The 19 month old takes off as soon as his feet hit the ground..not at walking speed. For his safety I have no other choice...no one can judge until they have walked in your shoes!!! I have seen cute ones at Target with the backpacks which I think is what I will get.

Funny story. My 40 year old sitter says ever time she put a leash on her son when he was a tot, he did fine until she took him in public and he would throw a fit to the point that she was completely embarrassed. Life is always full of surprises! I agree, with a little one that a leash is probably affording them a bit more freedom than they would normally enjoy.
C. S.

I think the toddler leash is fine. I've talked to a lot of other parents who think the same too. The mom you spoke to must either: a) be a new parent b) have a child that is not very mobile

Believe me, there will come a time when your child will probably think of it as a game to run away from you. All 4 of my kids have done this at some point or another and it is terrifying. I would rather have my child "too restricted" and safe, than off running possibly getting hurt.

i beleive people can think what they want I think it shows i care, i have an elmo one for each child. I'd rather have them on a leash then with a child abductor. I love my baby's and don't think baby stores would sell them if it was inhumane. I think every mommy should have one there are to many horrible things that can happen to a child. I think your okay by wanting to do this good luck.

Lol.. this is so funny. I used to hate those things. I thought it was the most ridiculous thing in the world for parents to have a leash on their kids, and I swore to myself I would never do that to my own children...

but now.... I'm a Mommy of a very independant little toddler, and suddenly they don't look so stupid. I'm actually considering getting one, also.

Your perspective really changes when you become a Mommy!

Hi J.,

We bought one recently before our trip to Finland in January. It was great!! My daughter was 17 months old at the time. It was nice for security to have it in the airport. She can run around and you don't have fear of someone snatching them up. The only problem I had is that my daughter is little miss independent. So when we needed to go "this" way, she wanted to go "that" way. But she loved the little puppy and now he's her best friend. We bought ours at Target. Wal-Mart sells them too for the same price, but for the puppy one in particular, I liked the one at target because he had a dark brown circle around his eye. Just me, I thought he was cuter! :-)

But I was like you before this too, I was wondering was it a horrible thing. I didn't want to look like I literally kept my child on a leash!

-Char

Ok so everyone has already said the same thing but here you go again. I LOVE MINE!!!! I have 2 of them one for my boys. The 4 year old (he does not need it so much but likes it) and one for the 19 month old. We have a 5 month old and I won't hesitate to one with her. The youngest of the 2 boys had figure out how to get out of the car seat belt an has landed on his head on more than one occasion so I see the leash as something that is far more safe. I bought mine at Wal-mart and they wore them out of the store.

I don't think it is horrible. Every child is different. What works for her and her child might not work for you and yours. Try it! It might be the best thing you ever did, well maybe not. HAHA

J., I agree with all the other moms that said go for it. I am amazed that people critisize other parents for doing something that protects their child's safety and maybe even their life. It only takes an instant for some psychotic person to snatch your child away from you should you for ONE second make the human mistake of taking your eyes off of your child . Then when you end up on the news begging for your child's safe return, people want to point the finger and say you didn't do enough to keep your child safe. How many stories do we see in the metroplex of people that intentionally hurt their children and then we want to be judgemental to someone who does just the opposite. I believe that toddlers need boundaries. They are not old enough to decide what is a safe boundary so we make the decision for them. As they get older, we give them a little more freedom but not when they are 1 or 2 years old. As far as treating your child like a dog, leading them safely around is not demeaning, I'm much more concerned with parents that treat their child like dogs by speaking to them in hateful ways and mistreating them in other ways. To sum it all up, my eight year old daughter has a field trip to the Dallas World Aquarium coming up and since I'm going to be chaperoning with two 21 month old boys, I will definitely be using the harnesses so they can move around and enjoy all the fun, too, but not get lost in the crowd. You do what you need to do to protect your child, let everyone else make their snide comments, at least your child is alive and by your side.

I think they are great, and have thought so since the day I saw them. I think I was just around 8 or so when I saw one on another little one in the mall. Both my mom and I agreed that especially in crowded and distracting places they are WONDERFUL! Then and there I decided that my child would have one. I have seen the monkey and that's what I plan to get seeing that we call my little one "our little monkey" (he likes to hang on you) and I have no issues using it what so ever. He needs to work on his walking, exploring, speach/communication and independant issues and this gives him the perfect opportunity to do so. As the woman who used it in the airport said ... "I want to go this way and that way" etc... he's got to communicate that to me or I will never know. Plus he has about a yard or so of room to roam SAFELY and explore think imagine. Plus he KNOWS where you are ... the other end of that string or leash think of the comfort that must give just like when they were babies and we picked them up when they cried to re assure them that we are there. And now they know as toddlers that we are there when they need us (at least we hope so) and the leash gives them a few extra feet to travel with but they know where thier security blanket is at ALL TIMES. Even now as an adult I hate it when my mom and I acidentally seperate in a store/mall sometimes I wish I had one for her! lol

I didn't like the idea until we were in JCPenny's one day and my son and I got separated. OK, I stopped to look at a robe for a Christmas present and off he walked. I couldn't see him because the racks were full from top to the floor and I ended up having to get security to help me look for him! He ended up not being far at all but I found him looking out the doors and he was telling a lady that his mommy had gone to the car without him! She was super nice and stayed with him until I got there but she could have easily walked right out with him which I hate to even think about! I was scared to death. So we pretty much didn't leave the house again until I had the leash. He could unbuckle his stroller and be out in nothing flat but he couldn't get the leash off because we had the elmo one and it has a huge piece of velcro right in the center of his back! So when someone asked me about it I just said well I didn't like them either until he got lost so now I know he is safe! Not much they can really say to that! He loved it too and still wants to play with it from time to time when he finds it at home. So I say go for it for your peace of mind!
S.

I say GO FOR IT! Who the heck cares what other people say and think when it comes to your baby! We bought one when we went to Disney World and the people I found that "talk" the most are those without children. Most people are not brave enough to say anything out loud but if they did I simply responded with-"yes, but I will be leaving Disney World with my child" or a look in the eyes and a smile that says "Worry about yourself." My then almost 3 yr. old absolutely loved it. We called it her "safety" as did she, and she would ask us to put it on her because it meant she could walk around and not ride in the stroller.
WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK??? Let them think! :)

I had a wrist "leash" that my mom used when I was a toddler, and I remember feeling very secure when attached to her that way. I knew that it would keep me safe and close to my mother. I don't think the "leashes" are harmful at all- as long as they aren't used the wrong way.

I straddle the fence on this one. I think that the leash is not for me with my particular child. But I have a friend whose son runs away all the time and so at the park she has to keep it on him or he'll be in the pond, the street, etc. I think in extreme cases like that, it is probably a good thing. I have another friend with a leash but her child doesn't run away from her even without the leash. What the leash does though, is allow the mother to not pay as much attention to her child. And I think that is a bit sad.
If it works for you and you feel comfortable with it, then do what you want. But because you asked for responses, here's mine. Your child doesn't have a behavior issue, so let him walk with you as he already does. He sounds like a responsible toddler and as he starts to get a little older you can work on some ruls such as he needs to be within touching room of the cart, or something like that. It just seems like if he doesn't need to be on the leash, is it really necessary? And then will you become reliant on the leash in all kinds of situations? And I wonder if a child learns that a leash is an external boundary on them and then lose their ability to regulate their boundaries internally?

I had a similar post about a month ago and bought my son the safety harness. He loves it! When we go out and he wants to walk I keep it in the car and say let's put on your backpack and he is all for it. I say backpack because it does look like a backpack and Dora uses her backpack and that is something he can relate to. We tried letting him walk with us one day at Wal-Mart using the harness and that was a mess. Most of the time he wanted to push the cart or ride on it. I've used it at Stonebriar and I don't recall getting any stares. I used it when we went to Elmo and he loved his freedom and I loved knowing that my son was having a good time and I was keeping him safe and had him close. I got my harness at Target for under $10. Wal-Mart has it too. Eddie Bauer was the brand and they have a puppy or monkey backpack. It's soft too and adjustable.

Dear J.,
I think the biggest obsticle you will have to overcome is other peoples opions of "leashes". I myself kind of did not use them but that doesn't mean they are "wrong" Saftey is the real issue. I have seen WAY too many mothers who seem to have developed a false sense of security when using leashes. They do not look at or pay attention to what their toddler is doing or picking up off the floor and eating etc... Also, the grocery store really is no place to let a toddler run around, they are full of germs and also, many times, the corners of the shelves have sharp little pieces sticking off of them that can cut. I understand your wanting to give your little one a little more freedom...just not sure that is the best way. Good luck on whatever you decide. S.

I don't think a toddler leash is a horrible thing but it does not sound like you need it. If he walks with you in stores and does not run out of your sight then that's great. That's what my kids do. Just keep repeating to him over and over that he needs to stay by your side, he needs to always be able to see you and of course always have one eye on him. :-)

J., I think a toddler leash is a good idea. It is for the safety of your child and not a horrible thing. I have a friend who felt the same way but we talked about it and she understands now that a restraint is to keep your toddler out of harms way. At a grocery store, he could easily collide with other shoppers or their car hurting himself or worse someone could take him if you turn your back for a moment. You are right in your decision and just do what you feel comfortable with. Everyone has their own opinion but you have to do what is best for you and your son. I think a restraint is a good idea in shopping environment. Good luck!

Hello J. R! To answer your question, let me just tell you that personally, I have used one of those children's harnesses before--and for the very same reason--safety. We were at a wedding that was held in Vegas in one of the casinos years ago. I knew there was going to be tons of people and simply didn't want to take any chances of losing my child...sometimes, certain situations just call for it. so, if using it puts your mind at ease knowing that he will not wander away from you, so be it. DO NOT let other people's opinions on things get in between you and what feels right for you. You know in your heart that your intent is not to treat your child as a dog, or restrict him in a mean way...and let me just say, children do need restrictions every now and then if they are to become good citizens of this world(not talking about the leash, of course..but with other things). as long as you're not using the leash because you're getting a kick out of it, take it from me, a mom who has managed to raise 3 great kids--GO RIGHT AHEAD!! your child's safety is more important than anything else. if a "leash" can prevent child abduction, or a child getting lost in stores, so be it. you don't chain your child at home, do ya? just kidding..but seriously though, i think people just need to look at it as a safety measure instead of some cruel, inhumane thing. these days- or any other days for that matter, we can never be too safe. and we can't be so naive as to think to ourselves--i'm a very capable parent, i will never lose my child...that is just bogus! how many times have we heard of little 1, 2, 3 yr olds getting lost in public places? too many-and i'm almost positive that's what prompted the invention of the harness to begin with. anyway, just know that you have one mother over here who will not fault you for keeping your child's safety in mind. take care!!

OK I'm chiming in late on this one, but I agree with the other moms. I can tell you that when my daughter is of age I will get her one. It really annoys me when people don't take responsibility for their children and their kids are all over the place and they look at you like there is nothing they can do. You are taking responsibility for your baby boy.

In todays world of children being lured away from their parents and stolen, it is by no means just a control issue. Your kids can disappear so easily. You are protecting the innocence of your baby.

Lastly, a harness is not a leash if you don't use it that way. The harness should be used to keep your kids near you and not used to pull your child around. I think they have a bad reputation because some people jerk their kids around on them. Again, that is an irresponsible parent not taking the time to talk with and discipline their child about not doing certain things. Patience is key.

Good luck with your decision!
Jodi

Go for it! If it means a little peace of mind for you as a parent & it's not around their necks or faces (like a dog's leash), It's perfectly fine.

BEFORE I had kids, I thought they were horrible. SINCE I've had kids & know how frustrating their games can be(like hiding in clothes racks), how short their attention spans are, and how tricky scumbags can be, I'm all for them!

Check out http://www.thesafeside.com/ for some WONDERFUL resources for teaching your kids about not only strangers, but even "kinda-knows" that could do them harm & how to react in odd situations. There is even a link to search your neighborhood for registered sex-offenders!

Leash-up!
D.

I have a harness that I have used with my daughter on occasion because she DOES have a tendency to run off. I do get the strange looks now and then but I have found that using it cause me less stress and gives her the freedom to walk rather than being confined in a stroller or cart. I think having her strapped in the stroller is more confining than using the harness. And to anyone who dares say anything to me, I just say, "well, you are more than welcome to spend an hour chasing her around and then let me know what you think of it!"

I purchase the harness I have when we were on vacation in England and found that in most of Europe they are used frequently and you don't really get any strange looks.

I bought one when I took my son and my nephew to the Fort Worth Zoo one weekend and they were both about 2 1/2 to 3 years old. I had more people make comments (usually under their breath) about how horrible it was that I put a child on a leash but I can tell you one thing...my child left there safely with me and still had the freedom to wonder and see what he wanted to see. To me it made me where I wasn't constantly having to get onto him about leaving my side because I was terrified of losing him. My son is usually very good at staying with me but on occasions he likes to "hide" and thinks it is a game and it is terrifying to think what could happen to him during that time. I don't care what other people think if it keeps my child safe and I have peace of mind. Don't feel bad about it!! I think all of the mother's on here obviously agree also. It takes just a second for someone to take your child and now they made leashes that are comfortable and even more attractive to wear so they don't look as much like a leash. I say give it a try!! And don't worry about what other people say. As a mom you deal with this over and over again on people judging you for the way you parent. If it works for you and your child, then do it and don't worry about what anyone else says. Good luck with it.

I was always against them until just the other day i was in the mall i saw this little boy. He had on a little backpack that looked like a stuffed animal of some kind. I complimented the mother on how cute the backpack was and she said "oh it's his harness." she then explained her fear of him being snatched away if she were to turn her head. So since I saw this tasteful one i now have new outlook on the harness. I would never bash a mother for having a harness but there are women out there that will. I say go for it. Who are these other mothers to judge you? Good luck and I hope you are able to find a good one.

I don't see anything wrong with trying to keep your child safe and give him the freedom to walk at the same time. It's not as if you are going to physically harm him by doing that, and I think he is probably too young to feel emotionally embarrased by it. It only takes a second for someone to snatch your child when your back is turned trying to shop so I wouldn't worry about what others thought if I knew my child was safe for doing it. It's your business, so do what makes you feel secure.

Hello J.,
My husband suggested that I buy our son one before we join him in Carrollton (where are in GA now). He says that we will be living next to a busy street (Midway/Rosemeade) and that he doesn't want our son to dart into the street while outside. I am moving from the country where I have alot of land and when son use too running free in the yard. However, it will not be the case there.

I bought the harness at Wal-Mart (the doggie one--back pack style)and I tried it out in the neighborhood. I must say I felt very, very ackward. I walk our dog often, but to have my son on a leash it made me feel like a slave holder. This is my opinion and not intended to persaude you. Because I will indeed use it again, but only as a precaution when we are going from the house to the car and vice versa.
Good Luck. M.

I used to be in the camp that thought they weren't a good idea. And then I became a mom... to a very independent, spirited, active, always on-the-go toddler who thinks the phrase "Come to Mama" is a game that is described as "run away laughing in the other direction so mommy can come catch me!" It's very irritating and can be dangerous, so we're working on changing this. :)

So I've seriously thought about getting a leash/harness for her.

But I've recently come across this website and got one of these and LOVE it! http://www.kozycarrier.homestead.com/

I can wear her on my front or my back, and she can see where we are going, and loves being right next to mommy! Her nap time is around 12-3, and we often have morning activities, so I'll take her shopping with me afterwards, and put her on my back, and she conks out and sleeps the whole time, and then my hands are free and I have stress-free shopping!

I've also gotten a few other carriers, like an Ergo, and a long piece of fabric to wrap around her. The wrap is harder since she is a toddler, but the other carriers work great, and I highly recommend them!

This is the website that I got them from, off of the For Sale or Trade forum, so they are much cheaper than buying them brand new. http://www.thebabywearer.com/

Don't feel bad about wanting to protect your child. Things can happen in the blink of an eye, and it's so much better to take steps to keep your little one safe and sound! The people that make comments obviously aren't taking care of YOUR child, so they don't understand. Don't listen to them! Listen to your heart and do what is best for YOU!

He's your child, and you should do what you feel makes you most comfortable and your child the most safe. Other people should relax, is it worse to make sure your child doesn't get lost, or just hope it never happens? It only takes a second, as you mentioned - and you'd never forgive yourself if something happened. I have a friend who has twin 2 yr old boys. She uses the toddler leash when they are in busy areas because she's terrified she'll lose track of them. Good luck finding a happy medium.

Dear J.,
I don't think it is a horrible thing to do and I would like to use one too when my boy is walking etc, but I am not sure if I would have the courage for the exact same reason. People judging me and making comments that I treat my son like a dog !
Also I would feel more secure that nobody could take him that easily, since he is connected to me while giving some freedom to explore things.
My friend used one on her son and it looked like a little bear backpack, so not at all like a leash.

I am interested to see what other moms think as this is something I have considered but I agree with the whole leashes are for dogs argument...

C.

i actually bought some of those things when i took my children who were then two and three to the state fair of texas. my husband thought i was crazy and said they're not animals.
well, it didnt take long for my husband to realize my point of view. we were able to walk without carrying them, and they could not run away. we didnt have to worry about disappearing acts. we knew where they were at all times without the restrictions of carrying or pushing in a heavy stroller.
after that i used them in grocery stores and other places. now, my children are 8 and 9, and they walk right next to the cart, right next to me, they have done it all their lives, its habit.

I think they are a great idea depending how they are used.

I used one on my son when we where traveling so he could run around the airport between flights.

I used one that looked like a monkey back pack and the monekeys tail was the leash. We got a lot of laughs from it.

You need to do what makes your life easier and helps you get done what you need to do :)

Don't you worry one single moment about any negative thought from ANY other person regarding that harness!

People's judements on this whole issue just urks me. If you feel your situation warrants a harness, then by all means, buy one! You are doing your part to protect your child. As someone already mentioned, if your child was snatched you would be raked over the coals for "not doing your job" or "poor parenting" or whatever the public wanted to tag you with.

I would buy a harness a million times over if I thoughtit might save my child. I don't care what anyone thinks....my family's safety and my peace of mind come first. Let them roll their eyes.....and chase their kids into the crowd!

Good luck!

In my opinion, they are a tool to be used to keep you sane. I have three kids, a very responsible 4 y.o. daughter, a rough and tumble 2 y.o. son, and a very curious 5 mo. old. Now, my oldest has learned most of the street safety rules, (Look both ways, hold Mama's hand while crossing, ect.) but my son can get a little too excited, and with me having to carry the 5 mo. old in a snugglie, I can't really run after him. So, I have resorted to using the harness now and then.
But what you'd probably want instead of the body harness would be the streachy handcuffs. It's a long piece of cloth-covered elastic with a velcro wristband at each end. It allows him free movement and it gives you the reasurance that he's nearby when you feel the tug at the other end. Just an idea!

HI,
I had the same feelings about the "leash" I thought they were awful!!!....then it came time for me to think about it :-)
Yep, I ended up with one. We haven't needed to use it very often, but I found a cute backpack teddy bear one at Target and it really isn't that bad. Any reactions I get out in public have all been positive. I think you need to do what's best for you and safe for your little one. Good Luck on the decision.

I used one with my oldest who would run away when put down. I got nothing but praise in public for taking responsiblity to make sure my kid was safe. With the younger one, she never really went far, hardly ever ran away and big sister was there to chase her when I needed to catch up, so I never bought a second one. I say if you are concerned, by all means get one. We had the Elmo one and I really liked it because it has a larger front piece that fit well and never got tangled. It also has a hand to hand piece for when they are starting to get the idea. Good luck!
P.

Hi J.,
From one appropriately cautious mom to another, I would not feel bad about using a toddler restraint at all. I think you're a great mom for wanting to ensure your child's safety while in public. Considering the world we live in and the stories we see on the news everyday, a mother's fears are certainly justified in this area. Doing everything we can to ensure our little ones are safe is our job! And grocery stores can be hectic and dangerous, with all the shopping carts zooming up and down the aisles and people in a hurry...to me, letting little kids roam in grocery stores is about as dangerous as letting them play in traffic! And just think of all the missing children that never would have been missing if they had been securely attached to their parents. I think this invention is wonderful. And I hardly think the kids whose parents use these restraints grow up believing they're Fido or are emotionally crippled in any way! To me that argument is ridiculous. I wouldn't offer any apologies to anyone for wanting to keep your son safe.
You're a great mom. Someone will always have a complaint about something...at least you can have peace of mind and your child has a greater chance of being safe while you shop.
Hope this helps!
God bless,
K.