Toddler Fears Pooping on Potty

This is completely normal. Some kids see the poo as an extension of their own body and letting go of that is difficult to get over, especially when it is whisked away down the potty. Maybe talk to her about how every one goes poo and that it is okay. I would not push the potty training issue of it until she is comfortable going again. I think there is even a book called Everyone Poops. Maybe you can borrow it from the library. Good Luck
http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Poops-My-Body-Science/dp/0...

Hello!

My daughter had the same problem. She would pee on the potty, but was terrified to poop on the potty. She would just walk around on her tip-toes holding it in if she wasn't in a Pull-Up or diaper. The "holding" would cause constipation and pain, and we didn't know what to do. She would walk around the house crying from trying to hold it in and knowing it was going to hurt when it came out (because of the constipation.) We tried potty charts and promises of treats and toys. Even the teachers at pre-school were willing to drive to the grocery store and come back with a cake just for her if she would poop on the potty, but no such luck. She wasn't going for it. We even considered hypnosis (too expensive) or taking her to a child psychologist to see if they could "cure" her fears. We were truly at our wits end!

When she was three years old we took her to a pediatric gastroenterologist to see if there was something that could be done about the holding and horrible constipation that resulted. The Specialist said there are two things you cannot make a child do...eat and poop. She said the more you emphasize the issue, the worse it will become. It will turn into a power struggle that you won't win. She said it is up to the child as to when they feel comfortable pooping on the potty. Until that time, she said not to focus on the issue and allow the diapers/Pull-Ups (only when Maddie asked for them). She said the only thing we could do is make sure the poop was soft when she did decide to finally go. We tried all of the normal remedies (apple juice, prune juice, high-fiber foods, etc.), but nothing seemed to work for her. The Specialist recommended daily doses of MiraLax (one capfull in the morning and one capfull in the evening).

On August 21, 2009 (a day that will live in infamy in our house), my husband and I were in the living room and she started calling my name. I asked what she needed and she announced that she just pooped on the potty and needed me to wipe her. My husband and I both JUMPED up and RAN to the bathroom. Sure enough, there she was, sitting there grinning from ear to ear. We all cheered and clapped. It was crazy!! We called and texted people to tell them the good news...seriously, this was a HUGE accomplishment! She said she just decided to try pooping on the potty. She saw there was nothing to be afraid of and hasn't stopped since!

Maddie was 4-1/2 years old when it FINALLY happened, so just be patient. The Specialist said it is not uncommon problem and there are even some kids in Kindergarten that hold it all day and come home and ask for a Pull-up. Hopefully, yours won't get to that point...since it does become hard to find diapers/Pull-ups to fit them as they get older.

MiraLax has been a lifesaver for us and I know it will work for you. It is a white powder that can be mixed into any drink or food. It dissolves completely and has no taste. It is safe for all ages, it is not addictive and you cannot overdose on it (per the Specialist.) It is not a stimulant, so it will not cause tummy aches or cramping. It just causes the body to hold more water in the stool making it softer and easier to poop. Once you start giving it to her, it will take two to three days for results. Just be consistent with the doses and she will feel much better. You can also find generic versions of it at Walmart, CVS and Walgreens. I checked with the Specialist and she said the generic versions were just fine (and cost quite a bit less!)

If you want to talk or have any question, please feel free to e-mail me. I know how frustrating this can be.

A.

Everyone Poops is a great suggestion. I've known of a few toddlers who got over fear of pooping that way.

It sounds like some specific event was probably a starting point for your daughter's fear. It may have seemed insignificant to you, but something triggered either a fear of failing/disappointing Mommy/making a mess, a fear of losing part of herself, or a fear of the activity itself, perhaps after a difficult or painful bm.

I'm not sure what you've tried to help her get over it, but be aware that it never works to tell a child there's nothing to fear. Obviously, from her point of view, there is something to fear, so she won't believe or trust you.

It's far better to just empathize and tell her lots of little kids feel this way for awhile, but they get over it and feel happy again. That can be calming and give her better times to look forward to. She may not be very verbal yet, but plenty of thinking/feeling is going on in her mind. You might try just giving her space, when not fighting a poop, to talk about her fears. She may be able to give you a clue as to what it's about.

Also, since she's resisting going, she's at risk for developing constipation, which will only complicate the issues further. I'd give her plenty of high-fiber fruit and LOTS of liquids, and possibly a dose of Miralax every day, to help make it necessary for her body to eliminate backed up poop.

Pooping is often a later step of training, because it uses a whole different set of muscles, the signals are different. Natural peristalsis (the squeezing action that moves stools through the digestive system) is pretty easily disrupted by anxiety or tension. Do all you can to help keep the situation low-key. Your daughter may need a few more months for this step, and that's still well within the range of 'normal.'

My daughter potty trained herself when she was almost 3 but didn't want to poop in the potty. She would come and ask for a diaper. I would put it on her and take it off when she was done. She only did this for a little while, but one day she went and pooped in the potty by herself. She was 3.

Both of my boys went through this. Do you have the book Everyone Poops? It is a great book. I am an Usborne Books & More Independent Educational Consultant and would love to help you out. www.fun-with-books.com This book shows anything that eats poops.
Good luck.

My daughter went through the same thing! I found buying her a little seat that goes on top of the toilet helped along with a little bench for her feet:) it worked!! Good luck

So many of the little ones go through this, my 27 month old is right now. He had really been resisting pooping on the potty for a couple of weeks, and the other day i offered him a Dum Dum pop if he poops on the potty. He can see the bag of suckers and was really excited to get "Canny!" so he tried that night and succeeded the next morning, yay! That was three days ago and he doesn't go every day (never has) but I can tell it's going to be today and really hope it's on the potty and not in his training pants ; )

If there is something you can use as an incentive I would try that, and just keep reminding her she can get it when she goes poop on the potty. Also know that some children will refuse to poop on the potty for many, many months or even longer. My daughter would pee on the potty from 18 months on, stayed dry all the time, but would not poop on the potty until shortly after her 3rd birthday. What changed her mind was a talk her grandfather had with her, he told her that everyone pooped on the potty or toilet. She was incredulous that he pooped on the toilet, and began going that day and every time since.

So hang in there ; )