Tips for Potty Training"

No more pull ups. Period. He thinks he has on a diaper, so there's no worries. Let that pee and poop hit his legs in front of friends, he'll change up.

I tried using pull-ups, reading books and watching videos for a few months but it didn't work. The only thing that worked for me was taking away the pull-ups and giving them only underwear. My 6 year old was potty trained at 3 and 1/2. And my 3 year old was just potty trained a few months ago. They were potty trained in less than a week because they hated being wet and dirty in their underwear. After the first couple days of just being in their underwear, they already started using the toilet. It was a pain for me because of the clean up and I tried to keep them on the tile and hardwood floors. But they were potty trained quickly. I only gave them pull-ups when they were sleeping. I soon noticed that they would also run to the bathroom first thing in the morning so I stopped the pull-ups at night too. Good Luck!

Ditch the "pull ups". They really are just diapers. My son was a little over three and I finally asked him if he wanted to go to Magic Mountain, he said yes and I said "too bad they don't allow diapers there". Boom, within a week he was in underware and never had an "accident". Don't let it become a power struggle. He is also probably feeling jealous of his baby sister and sees her getting attention when her diapers are changed and wants that same attention (also happened with my son and his baby brother). He is still a "little guy" and wants some babying. Good luck to you!

Make him clean up the messes, when he has to stop playing to clean up for 20 minutes then he'll stop. Plus he will realize how gross it is, if he throws up he still gets to clean it up. If it is gross to him it's gross to us too. Trust me, let him scrub the carpet or couch, once he realizes that your not going to do it and it is now his responsability he'll start caring, if he pooh's let him stand at the toilet rinsing out his undies, a good gagging makes them change their ways fast.

Good Luck! you can clean it again when he is not looking but the harder you make him clean it the faster he will learn. J.

Little kids control just two things in their lives - what goes in and what comes out. I know you don't want to hear this, but you just have to let him have complete control over this process and he will do it when he's ready and willling.

I had the same issue with my first daughter. She had zero interest in the potty, didn't care that every single one of her friends was using the potty, didn't care that the kids at preschool used the potty. From a combination of frustration and fatigue (I also had a new baby at the time) I just gave up. Then, one random day when she was 3 1/2, she walked into the bathroom and used the potty on her own. I only found her there by accident as I was walking by the bathroom with a basket of laundry. From that day on, she used the potty every single time. Because she was ready.

Position yourself as your son's cheerleader. Let him know that you're on his side and that you are there to help him whenever he's ready to give it a try.

Best of luck to you and your precious son!

It sounds like you have tried everything possible. As a mom of 5 kids, by the last one I just let him do it when he wanted and saved myself the stress of it. He got it by 3 1/2. My mom always told me that nobody starts kindergarten in diapers and every child is different in potty training. Some are over acheivers and have it by 2 but some just need to go at their own pace, some like the control they have over you because they know it drives you crazy. Just never compare your child to someone elses and you will be fine. You might be surprised if you stop trying he might just decide he wants to do it. Hope that helps a little.

If he isn't telling you when he needs to go - does he KNOW when he needs to go? Has he ever noticed the "feeling" and run to the potty by himself? I'm thinking his body just isn't ready! (which is very much in the range of normal)If you have him in a pre-school that accepts non-potty trained kids then what's the rush? When he's ready it will be SO EASY! Try waiting a while. Then you won't go crazy, he won't feel pressured, etc. Good luck! :-)

I say take a break. Leave the training go for a couple weeks. Don't even mention it to him. You are not a bad mom if your son isn't potty trained yet- and he will not be rejected from Harvard because he was not potty trained at 3. Spend all your extra time that you will have now by not discussing the potty doing great activities with your son. (if possible without your new baby) Show him he gets your attention and you can do big boy activities together. New babies can effect all aspects of their older siblings- even after 5 months. A small comment like 'Not now I have to change the baby', can show you only have time when diapers are involved. So let him wear his pull-ups, spend time doing non potty related events, and let him mention it to you. Or go on his own. Relax and good luck!

Keep looking for great motivators. Like.... When you are potty trained we will take you to Chuck-E-Cheese to celebrate!! Maybe pick out a new bike and keep going to the store to look at it and say that he will have it when he is trained. (you can even buy it and have it hidden in your garage already, but take him to the store to see it) Or daily motivators like snacks that he doesn't usually get or small dollar toys or something. I know that you said that you are already trying that but keep looking for something new. I would think that he has to be motivated and interested in doing it and that just hasn't happened yet. It just really isn't that important to him. We have used the simplest thing like a small lollipop for a clean bed after nap time and that works wonders. They are in a special jar and they only come out when the bed is clean. No one else gets any. Just the clean potty child. If you are not into treats.. then special time with parents. But just keep looking for that "thing" that he wants. You could even begin to take away something that is his now and say that he can have time with it after he goes on the potty. (not out of anger... or to discipline him.. just allow him to earn the right to that toy or item or special show.)
Good luck and be patient.

Hi, M....my son just turned 4 yesterday and he's only been peeing in the toilet for about 6 months now. He still refuses to go poo in the toilet so I have to put a diaper on him for that but I tried a lot of the things you are trying to get him to go pee in the toilet and guess what? Nothing worked for me either. So, I just let it be and one day it just happened. Don't stress yourself out over this, boys take longer to potty train anyways. Good luck.

Hi M.,

I also have a 3 yr. old boy and what you're describing sounds like what I've gone through. I've also tried different methods to encourage him to go to the potty and it didn't work. In the end, we were both very frustrated and unhappy with no progress in sight. So, I backed off and waited until he wanted to go on his own and to my surprise, it happened recently one day and with little effort. He's been wearing underwear for a several weeks now! Some kids are more stubborn and strong willed and they're going to do things when they want to. So just wait and he'll come around soon. Good luck.

I just wanted to provide encouragement to you and let you know that you are NOT a bad mom or a failure in any way. Don't let people tell you otherwise. You are doing all the right things. It may be helpful for you to back off for awhile and just let him do things at his own pace. I do disagree with the person who said let him clean his own mess and that will help him potty train faster, because it will not. My son is 3 and is potty trained for the most part but does have accidents at times. Cleaning up his own accidents gives him a sense of being helpful, not shaming him into going to the potty. You should not want to shame or blame your child for not going potty. Very best of luck to you.

My son is two and we tried the potty training, and had to pull back on it. My Best Friend used cotton potty learning pants instead of Pull-Ups, and then transitioned to regular underwear. Her son however, didn't show the signs of readiness until way after three years old...but, it was like a month of the cotton training pants and he was telling when he was ready for the potty...I think that's the route I'm going to take with my kiddo.

Good Luck.

Hi M.

I am a mom of 2 boys 4 and 1 1/2. My 4 year old wouldn't go potty until a month before he turned 3. He was afraid to start preschool and knew he had to be potty trained to go. When we started school, the teachers said just send him in his underwear, sure enough he never had an accident. As long as he was in a pull-up he would go in that and didn't mind. We also used Peter Potty the stand up urinal...it was great. You can check it out at www.peterpotty.com. It is just their size and you put water in it so they can flush it and everything. We wouldn't let him flush it unless he tried to go potty. Then once we got him used to doing that, we would only let him flush it when he actually went potty. We passed this on to a friend and she just potty trained her son who will be 3 next month...he loved it too. I plan on using this for my 1 1/2 year when his time comes. Good Luck!

KEEP SMILIN W.=)

HI M., I noticed that you have a 5 month old AND you say your son recently started PreSchool??

These may be reasons for this "refusal to be a big boy"

A new sibling and starting school can be stressful for a child.

I am sure you have been told a new sibling can cause kids to regress to baby like behaviour.

some children especially boys don't have the nerve development needed to know when they have to go until later. all the pushing justs makes it worse and they shut down not wanting to try or let you know when they have. wish i had relaxed with mine son. when he has developed enough it will happen naturally. thank your lucky stars for pull ups. they were not available when i was going through this.

He isn't ready yet. My advice would be to just stop trying to train him completely and let him tell you when he is ready. You'll know because he will start to take off his diapers or tell you that he has to go to the bathroom (it may be off a little) or he will show an interest when others go.

But I definitely wouldn't force the issue. If you wait until he lets you know he is ready, then it will make the process so much quicker. Boys tend to be ready for potty training later than girls are, so just be patient!

Just give up. Give the power to him. Tell him where his Bob The Builder underwear are and tell him that when he is ready to use the potty all of the time, they will be there for him to wear. Forget the pull-ups, they are too expensive. Just go back to diapers. When he decides that this is what he wants to do, he will get it done on his own terms and it will take 5 minutes.

Hi M.,

I too had this problem with my third son and it's just a waiting game. He never showed any interest in going potty like a big boy even when I begged my two older boys to show him how to do it. It's ok, just be patient he'll get it. My son wasn't completely trained until he was four. Talk about being patient! Good Luck. M. M.

It takes boys longer (I have two sons and one daughter). When he's ready, it'll only take a week or so. Don't push it now. Let him do it when he's ready. Otherwise you'll both get frustrated; mostly you ;) It'll happen.

As a preschool teacher, we would often get little boys who wore pull-ups (diapers really) and the parents claimed they were "almost" potty trained, RIGHT!

We told the mothers to put them in normal underpants and bring 2 changes of clothes. When they messed themselves we sent them to the bathroom and they changed themselves and put the soiled clothes in a bag to bring home. It never happened more than twice. You can also fill him up with liquids, let him walk around with no diaper in the back yard if convenient, and let him have the sensation of wetting himself. As soon as he wets himself, say, "Pee goes in the potty, and take him there." This works too. Good luck.

Hi M.,

Maybe your son just isn't ready yet. That's not a crime. I didn't even try to potty train my son until the day after his 3rd birthday, and then I stayed home for a week (literally, we didn't really leave the house) and did a potty-training boot camp thingy. I threw plastic painters' tarps down on the floor over the rugs, stuck my son in one of my husband's t-shirts (nothing on underneath), and away we went with potty-oriented activities. My son was not the fastest learner, but we eventually worked it out.

There are a lot of different ways to do this. My biggest suggestion is to pick what makes sense to you and will cause your son the least anxiety and go with that.

It will happen--your son will not go to kindergarten not knowing how to use the potty. Maybe just wait a few more weeks and try again.

:-) D.

My son was really difficult to train also. He did not care if his diaper or pull-ups were wet and would even try to continue playing when he was full of poop. Pull-ups were exactly like a diaper for him. We had to change him to underwear and then he trained much easier. I would suggest trying no pull-ups when he's home. I know it's not easy to deal with the messes when you have a younger child to care for also, but it may be the best way. I put off taking him out of pull-ups partly because of the messes. However, after a couple of days he was using the potty and I discovered how much easier life is once they're not in diapers. It was totally worth the couple of rough days. Best of luck!

Hi M.,
My first son was trained easily, because he didn't like being "dirty." Then I had a second son, and like yours, he could care less. He was riding his bike out back one day and flies were literally following him, so I suspected a poop in his pants & I was right! It was smashed & gross and he didn't care one bit. It's VERY hard to train this kind - I know! At three I took away diapers and pull ups all together, cause I know from friends experience that some will prolong this pull-up phase till kindergarten and I certainly didn't want that. It sounds like you tried even more fun incentives than I did! So congrats to your efforts. For my stubborn child, it was actually when I backed off that he was trained. He wanted to come snuggle with me in bed in the morning and I'd feel his big boy pants (usually dry) and I told him he couldn't come to bed with me because my bed didn't have a waterproof matresspad and I didn't want him to pee in my bed. All on his own, he went to the potty and then joined me. This happened several mornings in a row and I sleepily praised him but didn't jump up and do a potty dance or anything. I think less was more in his case. He just took it from there. Pooping in the potty happened regularly only after starting preschool and getting a dose of peer pressure. There was a stretch of time that I couldn't take him to a playground or a pool - he would ALWAYS go hide in the playground & poop or start floating and poop! Don't worry - yours will get it very soon now and this will all seem like a distant memory! All the best!

He's clearly not ready. My daughter was almost 4, my son was 3. Be patient, I know it is tough, especially since you have a baby but he'll get there.

I found the book The No Cry Potty Solution by Elizabeth Pantley very helpful. It's a short read.

Most likely, you'll just need to wait a few months to revisit it. If you start before he is ready than you may be on a frustrating road for as much as 6mos. If you wait till he is ready, he may be trained in as little as a few days. I waited with my son (the above book helped me a lot) and when it came time - it was a piece of cake!

Best wishes,
M.

my tip would be to get rid of the pull ups. let him get wet, he wont like it. and stay home for a few days, just doing potty time.

You don't start potty training a child when you're ready, you do it when they're ready. It sounds to me like he isn't ready yet. Just back off for a while, and let him start again when he shows signs of being ready. Good luck!

have u guys been using the toilet in front of him..and saying this is how big kids and big people go to the bathroom? i started taking my 2 year old into public bathrooms w/ me..and i would have him see me pee...and tell him this is the way to go to the bathroom when you're a big kid..then he became interested..
he does run around bottomless a lot
it's been sort of easy w/ him..it's weird..its the thing i dreaded the most..and it's been pretty easy..i have a little toilet out in the living room and he uses that and the regular one.
i do praise him when he goes...i also used to take his poo from his diaper and have him watch me flush it and i would say.."bye bye poo poo" and have my son flush

he still has an accident here and there..i think they need to feel uncomfortable in wet diapers to really want to learn

Hi M.,
When my son was just a month shy of 3 years old and about to start preschool we went away on vacation and took the potty with us. He knew how to go on the potty but said it was "too scary" and refused to use it. When we got to the hotel, we told him "no more diapers" and that he had to use the potty. He walked around with no diaper or underwear the first day and had a couple of accidents but by the end of the first day he went pee in the potty. He said, "that wasn't scary!". We let him sleep in a pullup. The next few days we did the same thing. By the 3rd or 4th day of the vacation we got him to poop in the potty too and he was very proud of him self and said that wasn't scary either. From then on, except for a few accidents here and there, we were good. He slept in the pull ups for a few months until we were sure he would stay dry overnight or get up from his sleep to go to the bathroom. We only used pull ups after that if we were traveling and didn't think we'd be able to make regular bathroom stops for him.

Hope this helps! Good luck!