I am at a loss as to what to do. My 18 month old daughter is terrified of the doctor - especially any male doctor. As soon as he walks into the room she starts screaming and clinging onto me (when before that she was running around happy as can be). Even with female doctors in the practice, as soon as she sees the stethescope coming her way she starts to cry and scream. And don't even get me started on them looking into her ears and throat. She is a pretty healthy little girl and has not undergone any tramatic medical procedures. The shots are all given by the nurses of the office as well, and she is fine with them.
I am just looking for any advice to make any visit to the doctor less tramatic for her. I always make sure to have her softie with us, as well as her sippy cup and try my best to calm her by singing and reassuring her during the visit. And it is tough to talk to the doctor while she is on my lap hysterical, especially during a rare sick visit. I want to teach her the doctor is not a scary person, but I'm not sure how to convey this to her as she is still so young.
Thanks you all for your great advice. We did buy her a toy medical kit, as well as a book and an Elmo DVD about going to the doctor. She loves playing with the stethoscope and listening to her or her teddy bear's heart beat. She had her 18 month check up today and though she was still upset with the doctor, she was not as hysterical as she has been on previous visits.
do you have the doctor examine you first? My dd is scared of anyone looking in her ears, but if the doctor looks in mine first, she'll usually let him look in hers next.
Hi,
Both my kids are doc and dentist phobic! I take a special toy with me and have the doc treat it first, I have also let the doc do my blood pressure, stomach check etc on the bed first too.
I also use the bribe method of a reward of some kind, either a favourite food, stickers or activity after.
Saying I am so proud of how brave my daughter is really works with my 4 year old.
I also use EMLA cream for any shots (its available on prescription only) It totally numbs a patch on the arm for shots, it needs to be applied with a dressing one hour before and it does make shots less stressful, I found after about 2 they can get shot phobic too!
Sal
Hello!
I'd suggest a couple things.
1. Books. I'm sure the library is filled with books about a visit to the Dr. Check a few out!
2. Start a book hospital and make yourself or her a Dr. and fix your broken/ripped books. Help her see Dr's help people feel better.
3. Get her a little Dr's kit from the toy store. Kids can work out a lot of stuff through play. She can examine you, you can examine her, the cat, daddy etc.
They grasp concepts much younger than we give them credit for. Also the suggestion to have the Dr. examine you is a good idea - if she sees you giggling and having fun getting examined she's sure to be less fearful.
Best of luck!
Geez, I'm always referencing my dogs when I answer, but since my kids are all in their 30's the dogs are my most recent experience, lol.
So anyway, have you heard of Rescue Remedy? We use it a lot in the rescue world for dogs that are afraid of people, thunder, whatever. It is completely and totally natural, created about maybe 100 years ago from the essences of different flowers. It cannot hurt you and there are many ways to take it. Well, I shouldn't say many, maybe 2 or 3. You can check it out online at www.rescueremedy.com and go to any Whole Foods store, they carry it there, along with many, many other homeopathic "remedies" for various reasons. Once I learned of Rescue Remedy, it opened up a whole new world of homeopathic medicine and it is totally fascinating.
My daughter was the same around 18 months too! She was screaming everytime we got to the exam room, before any nurse or doctor examined her! Until we bought her the Doctor's kit, and she was using it on her dolls and all of us. She then realize when she checks our ears, it doesn't hurt, or our blood pressure! Our 2 year old check up last month was like a breeze, she didn't cry at all! We took her kit with us and the doctor was comparing his tools to hers!!
One thing you might try is to buy a toy Dr kit (easy to find) and play Dr with her at home, I did this with both of my kids and it did help, especially with the stethoscope, the ear thing, and tongue depressors. Drs can be scary but playing Dr at home can help.
Getting a little dr. kit for home helped us. We have a Sesame Street one that makes funny sounds and we refer to those at the drs. office. She isn't as afraid as she used to be now.
We had a doll (Ernie from Sesame Street) with a medical kit, and it seemed to help my boys understand what would be happening, and trying out the toy versions of the equipment was good. We also had a book about the dentist, but I think toys being more hands-on helped more. Good luck!
My son is the same way. He's 2 1/2, but has been afraid since about 12 months old. The pedi recommended a couple things that have really helped. First, get a book...we used Courduroy goes to the doctor. Second, get a doctor kit that she can play with and exam you and her stuffed animals. Third, can she a bring a favorite stuffed animal with her to the visit? Our pedi does everything to my son's bear before he does it to him (i.e. look in the ears, listen to his chest, etc). Plus, the bear is his "security item" so it comforts him at the same time.
Also, my son LOVES firetrucks, so after his two year appt (where he had to have a couple shots and blood drawn), I brought him to the local fire dept to see the trucks and let him sit inside of one. I didn't tell him we were going there until right before his appt. When he got upset at the Dr., I reminded him where we were going afterward. Maybe if you did something special after the appt (since they don't go as frequently after 18 months), that would give her something to look forward to.
Hope this helps. Good luck!
I haven't read your other responses so sorry if this is repetative. I bought my daughter a doctor's kit and let her be my doctor at home and I tried to remember all the things the doctor did to her. She also brings the kit on her visits and any pediatrician should welcome the "help" with the appointment. Good luck :)
In addition to using some of the suggestions below, be sure to not over do the comforting part. The more you try to comfort her the more likely she is to feel that there is a reason to be upset. When we over respond we are communicating our own anxiety. For us, our anxiety is about how she's reacting but babies/toddlers/kids unconsciously pick up on our anxiety and feel that we're anxious for the same reasons that they're anxious.
My daughter and grandchildren have never been as upset as it sounds like your daughter is but they have, when toddlers begun to cry and pull away and I found that the best way to calm them is to give them a hug, say something like, "I know that you're scared" and then say in a calm, confident voice something like, "it's OK, I'm right here" and distract them with a toy or reading a book.
The pediatrician always comes in and "plays" with them for a couple of minutes. She crushes a paper cup and has them open it or vice versa, dangles the stethoscope so that they can catch it, picks up their toy and makes it "talk." Your pediatrician probably tries to do the same thing? I just listen and do not get involved in their exchange. I relax and let the dr. work it out.
When the dr. examines their ears she makes a whistling sound and says something like "I hear a little bird in your ear. Let me look and see if I can find it." In just a few minutes they've stopped crying, tho early on they were quiet and didn't really get involved but they let her do whatever she needed to do. Over the years they begun to love going to see her.
The dentist is also very good with children and they ask to see the dentist. My grandson has had several fillings and a cap with local anesthetic and even he wants to go to the dentist.
Maybe playing doctor at home will help with any fears. You can be the doctor when she is the patient and she can be the doctor when you are the patient. My kids also like being the doctor to their animals. And, maybe at her next visit she can use her stethoscope on the doctor?
Try getting her a doctor or nurse kit. That way she has her own stethescope etc. Play doctors with her and listen to Dolly's or Teddy's heart, even bandage them or put on band aids. Another thing would be to get the doctor to "treat" you, that may make her feel less stressed.
I have never had an issue with my son, but I set out to avoid this since I really hate Dr visits due to my past experiences when I was little. I like the recommendation below of playing Dr at home to help acclimate your Daughter. I would also prep her for her visits. I tell my son the night before that he has a Dr appointment the next day and I go over with him what the Dr is going to do. Like I say the Dr is going to look in your ears and see if there is anything in there and I look in his ear and say I think she is just going to see a bunch of ear wax and then your nose to see if you have any boogies (or bats in the cave) in there and your eyes and I make really wide eyes at him and look close into his eyes. Then she is going to check your stomach and I tickle his belly. In the morning on the day of the appointment I again remind him that he has a Dr appointment later on and what the Dr is going to do including shots and explain that the shot is going to pinch a little and I give him a little poke in the arm. I am very calm in my explanation even a bit silly and am very calm and relaxed at the Dr office. He has always responded well to this and done very well at the Dr office. With shots I always ask him to look at me in the opposite direction of the arm he's getting the shot in and I talk to him about other things while he gets his shot(s). remember if you are relaxed she will be relaxed. Also, when the Dr enters say hi to Dr so and so he/she is going to give you your check up. That way you help to send her the message that this person is ok Mom just introduced me to them.
Mine is terrified too, interested in seeing the responses. He is almost 3.
