Fear of Dentist

My kids are much older now, 24 & 20. Up until last year my 24 year old was still seeing Dr. Wolkstein. My son is 20 and he still sees him. They have been going since they were 3 years old. Dr. Wolkstein's son is also now part of his practice. They are located on Blossom Hill Road in San Jose. Their phone number is ###-###-####. The staff their is also very friendly and helpful. Good Luck

The Berensteins Bear book about going to the Dentist is wonderful! In fact all of their books about different subjects are great. Good luck!

Hi Michelle-
My heart goes out to your daughter and her new fear of the dental office. I'm a dental hygienist and hope I can help. I'm not sure about a book, but I would recommend you meeting with a pediatric dentist (lots of other kids in these offices and set up for children specifically), sharing her story, and working with them to help her overcome her fear (they may even have a book recommendation). There's so many things that can be handled differently at her appointments (ex. no light shining in her face, brush with toothbrush and floss instead of loud tools, toothbrush instruction, etc). At her young age, the most important thing is that she learns to feel trust and more comfortable so she's able to receive care and become educated about dental health . Most adults I meet who fear the dentist share how it all started as a child. I believe she can change, but it's going to take some time. Just take one appointment at a time. Eventually, one good experience after another will gain her trust.
Good luck and don't forget to partner up with your dental office. They are there to help!
S. Jacobs, Registered Dental Hygienist

My 10-year-old son, who has autism, is also totally terrified of the dentist. We used to sedate him (slightly)to just get him in the door. Then we had to put him in a papoose -- and I had to straddle him and hold his arms and head while his father held down the legs and feet.

Then one of his behavior therapists suggested that we make a 'book' about his brothers going to the dentist. I took the older boys to the dentist (they already had appointments) and took pictures the whole time: pictures walking calmly towards the building, opening the door while smiling, the receptionist greeting the boys, in the xray chair, the xray machine, the xray tech, and so on. I took pictures of every single instrument the dentist might use on my son and every person that my son might need.

I printed the photos and stuck them into a simple photo album -- not a single embellishment, journal block or paper. Just pictures in sequence. I gave it to my son.

He devoured the book, pointing to the tools and the people and looking at me to ask what/who they were (he has limited speech). I labeld each tool and named each person; much of that was from my imagination ("that's a tooth scratcher", "wind blower". "Her name is Lala, like the Teletubby.")

It worked like a charm: no sedation, still a papoose but no need to hold him down. t was amazing, best intervention I've ever used. Took a little more work but the results were wonderful. We still continue to 'read' the book from time to time and it's been 3 months since the check-up.

Are you taking her to a pediatric dentist? The experience your daughter has doesn't sound much like what we experience at our pediatric dentist. They show the kids each tool, let them touch it, explain what it's for, etc. They are not gleaming on a tray, but taken out of plastic one by one as they use them. They are allowed to touch the cleaning tool and choose a flavor. I don't know how old your daughter is, but when my kids were really little, like under 4 or 5, I could hold them on my lap and the dentist could do all their work with them sitting on me and me in the chair.

If you are not going to a pediatric dentist, you may want to consider switching until your daughter's residual fears surrounding her heart surgery subside.

Good luck!

First, was this dentist a Pediatric Dentist? If not look for a dentist who specializes in children only. check the American Academy of Pediatric Dentists web site for a referral source.

First of all - wow - you and your daughter have been through more than anyone should. I wouldn't worry so much about the dentist for a while. (my son was the same way - it took him about 2 years of going every 6 months before he had a real cleaning - now he does just fine). When you do feel you really need to see one I recommend Drs Adam and Samudio. 750 Welch Rd, Palo Alto. ###-###-####. They have video monitors in the ceiling and the kids pick out what movie they want to watch - with headphones. My son, now 8, says he loves his dentist. This is after having 2 teeth extracted - every tramatic for him and me.

Hi Michelle,
I'm so sorry your daughter had a rough time at the dentist (the tools do look intimidating --even to me). Even though she's been to the Dentist before, I can see where she'd feel it was 'too much' or 'the last straw' after going through such serious medical and health experiences. I've heard of and experienced that before, when a child goes through something 'big' and then falls apart for something 'simple'. I've had that with my own son (though he hasn't had anything as serious as your daughter's heart surgery).
As for a book recommendation, we used the Barney book on going to the dentist and a video that our dentist had for our son to watch when he was little (your dentist may have one, too --or be able to get one from another dentist). Also, I had my son watch my cleaning before he had his (when he was younger --not now, he's 13, lol). Even though your daughter has been to the dentist, maybe it will help for her to see you sit through a cleaning again? Her new aversion to the dentist may also be a way for her to work with having such serious medical experiences in her life. If it is, it may be a bit trickier to help her feel relaxed. I had a pretty tricky time with my son over simpler medical and dental care (after 'bigger' ones) and it wasn't easy to get him relaxed; it took a little bit of time.
Have you considered temporarily changing to a pediatric-only dentist who has experience with kids' fears? Or, what about setting a 'mood' for her in the office with music that she finds comforting, some sunglasses for the light's glare (maybe cute, new sunglasses with Disney princesses on them or something), and a kid video on the screen in the exam room as she's having her check up in? Our dentist use to play animal videos for our son when he was younger -there was one that doubled as a 'kids intro to dentists' video that had a chimpanzee going to the dentist.. very cute.
I wish you the best with this and hope your daughter does well (in all ways).
M.

We have a fantastic children's dentist who my kids LOVE. My daughter was scared to death of the dentist and we tried one pediatric dentist before we found this one and she would hardly let him look in her mouth. She refused to let him do anything else--and that was with me standing right next to her.

We now go to Dr. Gregory Rabitz on Willow (near Meridian) in San Jose/Willow Glen. All 3 of my kids walk right into the back of the office without me when they're called and have since day one--including my daughter who was petrified of the other dentist. I can't say enough about Dr. Rabitz. He is wonderful!!!

Good luck with your daughter! I don't have any suggestions about books, just a great dentist.

www.drrabitz.com, 1600 Willow St, Suite 250, ###-###-####

Are you going to a regular dentist or a kid's dentist? My son's dental office is a kid paradise. They give them little sunglasses and let them watch a movie during the cleaning. Then when it is over they get to pick a toy and a sticker. My son barely notices the dental activity with all the kid friendly treats. So you might try that.

I dont know where your located but my children go to a pediatric dentist in lodi,ca and he's great the office is really colorful and childlike. His name is dr. fleming.

My daughter had 13 surgeries and she was petrified of going to the doctors for check ups. She was pertrified of doctors wearing masks. She correlated that with surgery. We live in Fair Oaks and we have a FANTASTIC dentist. Dr. Weideman in Citrus heights. They know my daughters history and her fears and they work with her. It may be that your daughter is not comfortable in that setting. Here is the web address http://www.sacchildrensdentist.com/index.html check it out. I had all 3 of my girls look on the website with me.

I am a married working mother of 3 girls: 6 yrs. old, 5 yrs. old and 2 1/2 years old. Good luck. M. G.

Hello Michelle,

My daughter had to have reconstruction surgery on her finger after an injury when she was three and then a year later just as her finger was working fine again, she had to have a triple hernia surgery. Ever since she has had a major phobia of doctor visits or any medical procedures. What I found that worked is getting her familiar with the medical instruments that I knew would be used during her visits. Children (I worked with special needs children as a profession) usually do better having a chance to handle common medical devices before their experiences...for example tongue depressors, stethoscopes, ear and eye devices. I have even asked my daughters doctors to allow me to bring her in a non visit and to be shown and allowed to touch these things and even bought some of them from medical supply stores. bandages, tongue depressors, even a cheap stethoscope.
Now on a another line of information my grandson was born with a transverse heart and his valves placed in the wrong place. He had open heart surgery at the tender age of 7 days old. HE too has issues with going to the doctor especially since it is going to be a life time of seeing cardiologists...it works allowing him exposure to things he is facing before hand. I hope this works for you. It must be difficult for both you and your daughter.
hugs
A.

Kidsmiles in San Francisco is great with small children, really friendly and gentle.

I have a background in dentistry; I was a chairside assistant for over 10 years, and my husband is a dentist.
Sounds like your daughter has been through some pretty traumatic "stuff" lately. I would highly recommend a children's dentist: Dr. Duane Spencer, DDS, AKA: "The Snoopy Dentist." He is wonderful with kids! And he is a wonderful dentist! When you call you must ask specifically ask for him or the front desk will book you with another DDS. You might want to wait awhile before taking her again. And of course explain your concerns and her last experience when you call for the appointment. Hope this helps. Good Luck!!!

Try Erika Gabor DDS,a childrens dental professional. She is gentle,calming and the environment is friendly.She is in Morgan Hill and she loves children.Parents do go back if needed for support and the childs area does not look like the average dentist chair, she will get to pick a toy from her goody box too! My son is going today and loves going!
I am sure your daughter has some fear to overcome and I can't relate but I am sympathic to both of your struggles. I am sure Erika can help her and she will soon enjoy the dental visits!
D.
Psalm 40:1-3

Happily married 5 years with 3 children all under 5.

My sister told me about this place that does water laser dentistry. I am not sure what tools they use but I would try investigating that route. They specialize in children...

T.
Mother Of Two

HI, Michelle!

My name is A. and I have a 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter. My son had a fear of the dentist as well. My sister is a hygienist and we were able to visit her office and she did a "run" through of what the dentist would do and tools he would use. She allowed him to touch the tools and he watched my sister demonstrate on my husband and I. He also was given a "ride" in the chair (go up & down and lean back). This helped calm his fears. He did great at our next dentist visit.
Now I understand your sister may not be a hygienist but my sister shared that many dentist offices will do this for your daughter before she herself is "worked" on. Ask them if they're willing to do this for you. I hope your next dentist visit is successful and fear free.

God bless you and your family!

Are you seeing a general dentist or a pediatric dentist? I have some horrible memories of visiting the dentist as a child. So much so that I researched pediatric dentists for my kids. They are much more in tune with kids and their potential fear and the office is geared for kids. Smaller furniture, brighter colors, toys everywhere. And you never see the tray of tools. The equipment is often covered with silly things as well.

Our dentist has a selection of older Gameboys for the kids to play while the dentist/hygenist is looking in your mouth and they allow them to bring their own game players (volume down and no headphones though so the kids can hear the dentist talking to them). When my kids were in the 4-8 year old range they actually would ASK to go visit the dentist.

Now the "down" side. I could not find any pediatric dentists contracted with our dental insurance so they are considered "out of network" -- but it's only a $5 difference for a cleaning, haven't compared the cost for reconstructive work since we haven't had much of that. Well worth it for a happy child I think.

My son also had open heart surgery as well. When I first started looking for a dentist for my son, the first thing I did was call around to see if any of the pediatric dentists treat heart patients. Some won't touch them with a 10 foot pole because of the risk of bacterial endocarditis. Also, I didn't see you mention her taking antibiotics. I just had an issue with my son's pediatrician because the American Heart Association has just changed the guidelines for antiobiotics and dental work. His pediatrician said that it was not necessary, I called his cardiologist and he said yes still give it to him. His pediatrician refused to give me a prescription and so his dentist office got me a prescription. His dentist office would not touch him without him taking his antibiotics. I felt better too. I know my pediatrician was just following guidelines but that is what they are, just guidelines but I would rather be safe than sorry. But back to your daughter. I have a funny feeling that your daughter is not handling the dentist well because if she just had open heart surgery a few months ago, then she could very well be afraid the dentist for that same reason. Being that young and going through open heart surgery puts a lot of trauma on their little minds. It is never a great experience for them and when they see instruments and things, they start thinking about the hospital. Does that make any sense? Maybe asking her cardiologist if he has any recommendations on a good pediatric dentist who works with heart kids. It makes all the difference in the world too. They know how to deal with them. Even my son's orthodontist, I called around to see if they have worked with heart kids. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck and heart healthy wishes.
L., mom of an 11 year old CHD Survivor and co-coordinator of Mended Little Hearts Central Valley.

Are you in Sacramento? I have an amazing dentist that was so helpful after my daughter's OH surgeries. I also run a support group out of Sutter Memorial hospital (but anyone can come from any hospital) for families of children with congenital heart defects. Our website is: http://sacramentoheartsupportgroup.blogspot.com/ and you can call me: ###-###-####.

My own dentist recoomended taking my son to the dentist with me or my husband so he could see us survive it! We have a great pediatric dentist who sings to the kids while he's looking in their mouths and he also lets the kids touch the equipment. I don't know if that would help. I think the fear of the dentist is totally normal for her age anyway, and now it's just compounded because of her surgery. I would't recommend dr. Suess's Tooth Book- there's not much about the dentist anyway, and my 4 year old finds the pictures of the people breaking their teeth scary. Good luck.

my three year old son was also scared so what ended up happening was that i sat in the dentist chair and he sat in my lap and we had a very successful exam and cleaning. hopefully next time he will sit in the chair himself. good luck!

Pediatric dentist in Palo Alto Dr. Adams. Not sure of address or if he is still there. His office is a wonderland and had video monitors on the ceiling. They are amazing! Give them a call and they can guide you. I took my boys there when they were really little. My little one held the older ones hand and all was well. Good luck.

I am a dentist and have treated many kids who have had anxiety due to prior medical or dental trauma.
Several ideas...
1) Get your daughter a battery operated-toothbrush to simulate the tools we have and it's even better if she sees you with one and you do it together.
2)Take her to visits where she's not getting work done, i.e. sibiling's or parents' cleanings
3) Read the books but be careful not to over-prepare the child. Sometimes this backfires in my experience
4)Don't allow the dentist or hygienist to do anything that she's not comfortable with. I've had kids come in and all we've done is sit in the chair and counted teeth (also a game you could do at home with her). I consider that a victory sometimes especially in someone so little who has had probably her lifetime share of doctors. It sometimes takes several appointments but if you talk to your dentist, they will probably accomodate this. Everything should be explained to her. I had one kid who brought in his favorite stuffed animal and we "worked" on the animal first! Also don't let anyone talk you into leaving the room. They teach that in dental school for kids who are manipulative but never to be used for child who are truly scared. It helps if you get in the chair with them sometimes.
5)If she continues to have problems you could consult a pediatric dentist but they do cost more because they are specialists.
6) Don't overly worry about it. Kids pick up anxieties and phobias about dentists from parents, too. She's only 4 and chances are she's got great teeth (yes even if she's only brushing sometimes and even if she eats candy!). Limit sugary sticky stuff, dilute juice, stay away from sodas, and I promote getting fluoride (either in the tap water or in supplement form). Be a good role model with oral hygiene and chances are she'll outgrow this
Good luck, I hope this helps..

My daughter had a fear of going to any doctor appointments of any kind. Before she could walk, she would cry in her infant carseat as soon as we drove in to her pediatrics's parking lot. At the age of 4yrs. old, she went to a regular dentist and had a hard time. Through other parents' recommendations, we discovered a children's dentist who has a large number of clients. The dentist is a sweet, cute woman with a sweet voice and mannerism. The children sit in a row of chairs side-by-side to get general cleaning and checkup while watching a movie. The staff is great at talking and working with children. The place is really small and cozy. My daughter didn't have a problem going to the dentist since then and currently she is still with them at the age of 21yrs. Under special circumstances, having just the right set-up can do the trick. I hope that this is helpful.

Hi Michelle,

Before having my children, I worked as a Dental Hygienist (I like to say I've been on maternity leave for 8 years now). Most books I've seen are good. You might want to go to the public library and look at the different books there with your daughter and then bring home her favorites. I assume the dentist has you wait in the reception room during your daughter's visit. As hard as that is, it works best. But I would ask the dentist/hygienist not to use those instruments that make noise. For example, have them brush her teeth at the end of the visit instead of using the "electric" handpiece/prophy cup. They can minimize the metal tools on the tray and even place a plastic mirror on her tray. Talk to them and they should be responsive.

Also, your daughter may need to take prophylactic antibiotics prior to her dental visits due to her heart condition. Patients with certain heart conditions are susceptible to bacterial endocarditis (infection in the heart)from oral bacteria that get into the bloodstream after a dental visit. Please talk to her specialist if this has not been addressed.

I hope this helps at least a bit.

S.

Hi Michelle,
I have been going to Dr. Robert Martin, my three kids love him (he has been their dentist since three years old and they are teenages now). His office is warm and welcoming to children. Please call his office: 707/255-6300 or email him at ____@____.com

P.S. My daughter had a heart condition too),she is well now, Thank God!

His office is located at 3150 Beard Road, Napa CA 94558
Good luck! (I am an advocate for his professional general care & cosmetic dentistry).
I. L.

We have found the Berenstain Bears books very helpful in many circumstances about explaining things like the dentist and strangers. Perhaps you can ask the dentist to put away the tools in advance and headphones can help dull the sound. I had a dentist a while back who played music via headphones while doing the work. Good luck, I know this must be difficult.

I am a professional energy healer and I use a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) on a regular basis along with Quantum Touch® and Reiki plus many others. EFT is something so simple and so effective for anything emotional and the great thing is that anybody can learn how to do it for free. Find your free manual at http://www.emofree.com You can do this on a surrogate basis for your daughter. That means as she is having emotions come up, all you have to do is tap on your own meridian points to help her.
Love, L.

Hi Michelle. Open heart surgury, wow that is huge! Thank God we are living in today's world of technology
My daughter took a spill and had stitches put in her chin when she was four. It was very tramatic as I recall and we had a long stint of fear of tools, lights, people coming at her face. I don't know where you live but the GREATEST DENTIST THAT EVER THERE WAS, Ms. Paula Roemer (now only practicing in Walnut Creek. I think) did a cool thing. Perhaps you could talk to your dentist about it, or do these steps yourself. For Alice's first visit she showed her the chair, the tools etc, then literally "GAVE" her a Barbie Dentist, complete with chair, tools etc.... Next visit she jut counted her teeth. Her gentle demeanor, the fact that she was not forced, and that doll, really helped.
Good Luck R.

Hi Michelle, My daughter had MAJOR teeth work and she was 4, i took her to a REALLY great dentist! It's Weideman Pediatric Dentist off of Sunrise Blvd. Their # is ###-###-####. If yo uare able to switch Drs or even go check it out they are TERRIFIC!! They really take alot of time getting the children ready for what is happening and they tell fun stories about what they have to do with what tools in their mouth as well as show them how it works. It doesn't look like a normal dentist office and they have lots of fun toys and prizes to keep the children having fun!! My daughter had to go back to the dentist 6 different times to get major work done and was REALLY scared, but went through it like a champ and is still fine to go back and get her check ups. I wish you luck i know it is very hard to see your child upset and scared.

Sorry, I don't know of any books to recommend. Just wondering, was this a kid's dentist or a regular dentist? My 8 y/o started going to a female dentist not too long ago (doesn't have cavities or problems, so we waited) and this dentist office has a TV screen in each room and your child gets to choose a DVD while getting their teeth cleaned. TV is always a good distraction when they're scared. My daughter was thrilled to watch TV. She's been to a regular dentist and this was far more fun for her. Maybe switching to a kid friendly dentist might help? Good luck!

Hi,am R. and am mother of three and when i take my children to the denist what work for them was having a walkman to dis-exact for the noise. try and see if that help