Terrible Twos! - West Jordan, UT

Wow aren't kids fun!:) I have three little boys. 5yrs-3yrs-10 1/2mo. When the baby was born my now three year old was a lot the same. It was hard and I found that if I took time with him and the baby. Letting the baby see him and try to watch him as well, he started doing a lot better. I know this may sound crazy, but it is more controlled and if you sit with him. Also try and let him help with things (if you don't already), let him help get the baby wipes or put the diapers in the garbage. With my now 3yr old he just wanted to be part of the babies life to, but he was being aggressive because he didn't get to help.
I hope this helps or at least gives some new ideas.
Good Luck! It will end sooner than you think!

Reading your post brought back memories. My son was like yours. Congratulations! You have a very smart child on your hands! I would look at info about multiple intelligences. He sounds like he is a tactile/kinesthetic child and will probably always learn by touch and movement. This is a good thing but it can be hard for a while to learn how to best work with him. Compassion comes, but it too must be taught, over and over. Just like you are doing. He will learn. He is smart. Having a little sister is a good thing. Keep encouraging him to be gentle with baby sister and give him supervised opportunities to help touching in a soft way, like maybe washing her feet at bath time, or stroking her back as she sleeps on your shoulder with him in your lap. It takes time and energy, but I believe with your guidance, he will learn to use his intelligence without hurting others. Be careful to keep your negative reaction to his rough touch in check because he is watching you. Spend your energy on encouraging good touch. Let me know if you want some other ideas.

He has discovered that he can get a reaction from someone based on what he does. Unfortunately he has chosen to do so with something harmful. What you need to do is find something he can replace that behavior with that will get a positive reaction out of people. For example--he will likely think making his little sister giggle or smile will be worth the effort as well. He needs to feel connected to her in some way. Tell him it is more fun to make his baby sister smile--not cry. He can do so by smiling at her-giggling at her-dancing a favorite stuffed animal in front of her-singing to her.

Work with him on "Touch is for showing love". Keep repeating that to him when you touch him, and when he sees you touch the baby. Get something like a cotton ball and sand paper. Show him the difference between being touched by something nice and something not nice. Tell him to touch his baby sister like he was a cotton ball. Then when he doesn't remind him of it and have him feel the sand paper again-tell him "remember we don't touch like sandpaper. What do we touch like?"

I think watching the T.V. show Nanny will give you some support and strengh in standing up to your little ones. I find that there is no such thing as the terrible twos and find it facinating how mom's sometimes brag about how their kids are going through this stage. A child is either well behaved or is not...with a lot of inbetweens. Bless your heart you have your hands full and you need support. Watch Nanny...with your husband...I wish I had that show when I was raising my children because if you let them the kids take over, not because they want to be mean but they are just seeing how far they can go..They need bounderies...Ask friends and relatives to give you a little time out also...to enjoy a little of life...L.

I have a boy that just turned 2 and a 4 1/2 month old baby. My 2 yr. old is all boy & not that gentle either. I think you have the right idea with timeouts (definitely in a chair where there is nothing to play with or watch) and not giving him attention is the right idea. Just be immediate and consistent every time and he will eventually make the connection and stop the behavior. My little boy would do things in time out in an attempt to get our attention. I have found that it is key to completely ignore them during the time out. I've also found that it is more effective to not give him a warning. When I see him scratch the baby, I put him in time out the first time and the second I see it happen and then to keep it brief (about 1 minute per year of age). Good luck!

Hi A.,
Been there, done that... my son is 9.5 years now and I have lived through the stages you're going through. It'll pass, but I do have one recommendation. Though it’s tough not to, try not to bring attention to the stuff their doing, misbehaving etc. Instead, when you find them doing something right, praise them and make a really HUGE deal out of what they did right and how it made Mommy so happy!!!

By the way, I am the owner of Swim Otters Swim School in Westminster. We teach infants and small children (6 mos to 6 yrs) Water Safety & Survival Skills and swimming skills. If you can, go to our website at swimotters.com and learn all about it! Our next session starts on Monday, March 31. Call me at ###-###-#### if you would like to talk more about enrolling your children in our program. It's the perfect time to get them swimming before summer!! Have a nice weekend! Miss K.