D.R.
Hello J.,
My name is D., I am a single mom also of a 13, 11 and 9 year old. I understand what you may be going thru, as I have a 13 year old daughter who tries to switch the role of mom and daughter. I think when they get to a certain age they try to take over. You should lay down the ground rule, let her know that you will always be there for her and no man will ever come between you two. She may think that your attention may be taken away from her. My daughter feels like the attention is taken away from her. But if you dont tell her how its going to be, you will end up being single for a long time. Ever hear that story about the little old lady who lived with all those cats. Someone told me that will be me one day if I dont get out there and have a healthy relationship. :)
Remember kids come first always, but you also need mom time as well. I hope this helps. I am just going thru issues with her as well. Be strong and love your kids to no end.
D.