Taxes - West Babylon,NY

I can absolutely understand why they would be doing thhe taxs together. That way they can run the numbers using different scenarios to see how to maximize the tax benefits. Also they can double check that they aren't duplicating any deductions which could get them into hot water with the IRS. You should be thankful they are being diligent about this as anyy mistakes on their part could have implications for you after you are married.

If you are this worried about them getting together, I think the 2 of you would benefit from some premarital counseling so these issues can be worked out ahead of time. My husband has coffee with his ex about once a month, he helps her with an occasional project around her house, and she has taken care of our pets in the past. All this and they don't even have kids together. I recognize that they are still friends even though they weren't good together as a married couple. I am secure in his choice to be married to me and not to her. I would never dream of checking his email or text messages or anything like that.

I think that you should be glad that they have a good relationship for the sake of the child.

My daughter's father lives with his girlfriend, but he and I still have family night once a week with our daughter. It isn't a statement on his relationship with his girlfriend (whom I love, by the way), it's a statement on our commitment to being a family for our daughter. Trust me, it would be easier for the three adults involved sometimes if we didn't do this - but it is important to our daughter. And the three of us, her son, and our daughter can be together for events or just to hang out sometimes, too.

So, if that is a time when your fiance and his ex can still sit down and talk about whatever needs to be talked about, whether it be money or their son, child support, etc. than you should try to be open to that. Invite her over to your house where the three of you can have those talks together if you're worried about it.

You are going to have to confess you saw the texts and then simply ask him why they are doing the taxes together. Be up front. Talk about it and your concern. They may do them together for a variety of reasons, including seeing who would get the most benefit to split, who can claim child care expenses, etc. Your fiance will be in contact with this woman forever since they have a child, so now is a good time to figure out how you are going to deal with it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know, and the best way to get an answer is to ask. If there is more to the story and you are feeling suspicious, getting to the bottom of that is your first priority.

On the surface it would appear that there would be no reason for them to be doing their taxes together. However, we (us mamas) don't know the whole situation (were they married in 2009, what does the divorce decree say, etc). Taxes can be complicated and it's possible there may be reasons for them to get together.

It sounds like you're jealous of his ex. You "found" the text message? How do you know he said yes? Did he come out and tell you he was planning on meeting with her?

I may be way off base here, but it sounds like your relationship has trust issues that need to be resolved before you get married.

S., I was a little disgusted a few of the replies you got. My first reaction to your question was not "oh she thinks her marriage is in trouble or he is cheating on you". I would be concerned if if hasn't doesn't mention that he is meeting with her thought (again I don't know your/his whole history with her, so its hard to comment).

I guess I don't know how things have been done in the past, but I don't see a need for them to sit down together and do their taxes. There is no reason that they couldn't each do them seperatly 2 separate ways. Each one could do their taxes claiming the child and not claiming the child. They could just talk over the phone and see who benefits more from claming the child. That should be the only portion being split between them if that is what they are doing NOT the whole return.

Oh and I have a child from a previous relationship - before someone decided to comment on what I have said!!!! Also my husband and I have an open relationship and I see his cell phone all the time - I would never need to appogize for a text message I saw on his cellphone..... He would however need to appogize to me if he hid something from me !!!!

We have varying laws in different states, however they might do them if she has to pay daycare and wishes to deduct it, have someone else do it, so there is a fair third party, and in a perfect world, yes you are right they would do as you said -claim him and split the return on their own. But there is some reason why he is Your fiancee meaning perhaps she is not the agreeable person that we are wishing for in a perfect world. In the future, when you are married just try to roll with the punches, as this could go on for a couple of years despite everything that might be on paper things just do not go perfectly.Hope this helps.

1. his privacy was violated when you snooped. You owe him an apology for that and hope he can get past it.
2. this is not about the taxes...it is about your insecurity. You aren't ready for marriage to someone with children and an ex unless you are secure with your relationship and yourself.
3. Thank God he is trying to have a civil relationship with his ex for the best interest of their children. It is HARD growing up from a split family even if the ex's get along.
4. IRS does not care about anything except seeing correct documents or you will pay dearly. This is a BIG deal to get it right and no wonder they are working together...the consequences could be extremely difficult for ALL of you.
5. Sounds like they are working on this together so the broken family will have some means of repair at least on a financial note. They are only being responsible parenting in my opinion.

Good luck and search within yourself to figure out why this bothers you so much BEFORE you marry this guy and his children go through more heartache because you can't stay together due to insecurities.

Well, here's the deal....why are you looking through his text messages, and why are you worried about him getting together with the mother of his child to do taxes? It sounds more like a problem that you have, rather than that of your husband's and ex's. Try to look at your relationship and figure out what is making you so insecure? Talk to your husband about it, and stop looking through his personal things. It's not good for you....