Tacky?

I wouldnt say tacky...though a bit annoying. Yes, she should have informed you that there was a cover charge to get in, IF she knew. Is it possible she didnt realize until she got there, and by then had already invited everyone...therefore couldnt change the venue?
Also, do you know where she stands financially? Maybe she wanted to cover everyone (pumpkin patches are usually pretty cheap, she may have thought she could cover it all) but then found it was out of her price?
Give her the benefit of the doubt. Ask in a polite way if she knew of the cover, and maybe let her know that next year she might want to note on the invitations if there is a price to pay to get into the place of the party -

yes that was quite tacky. I wouldn't have gone in but I wouldn't have spent $30 for a bday gift for a two yr old either. I think we are getting way overboard on these things for kids. I think McD party if you didn't want to do it at home. Some play dough or something. He is 2, also, you aren't close to these people.

I totally agree with you. That was very rude on their part... goes to show that you shouldn't ever trust her "good intentions" ever again! :)

That's terrible! Certainly do not go out of your way to befriend this woman now. That is completely tacky and I would not have gone in at all. At the very least she should have stressed that there would be an entrance fee!

I think if it were me, I would've talked to someone who worked there and asked if they could give the gift to the little boy or see if they could get the mother to come to the entrance so you can give it to her yourself. Then, when she got there, I'd just explain to her that you had no idea of any cover that you were supposed to pay, and so you are going to head back home, but atleast wanted to give the present to her son. This way, you're not stooping to her level by being rude, you're not paying the money and then going in and stewing about it for a long time, and you've politely let her know that you weren't made aware of the cover. I strongly believe in being as open with people as possible, as long it's done in a way that doesn't cause any uncomfortable feelings. For example, my husband and I went away overnight and asked our neighbor to come over and let the dog out. Well, we got home in the wee hours of the morning and our garage door was open! Well, I knew she obviously didn't leave the door open on purpose, but I knew I atleast needed to say something to her because I was mad of the fact that someone could've come into our house and cleaned us out! So, I called her and said, "Hey there little blondie, you left the garage door up!" That way I was saying it in a joking way, but making her aware of it. I am known to be sarcastic to people, but I"m telling you, this is why! I believe in telling people things in a joking or sarcastic way, so as not to make them feel uncomfortable

yes very tacky i think she should have put it on the invite.

PERSONALLY, I WOULD HAVE LEFT. FIRST THIS NEIGHBOR IS UNFRIENDLY, THEN TURNS AROUND INVITES YOU TO A PARY THEN HAS THE NERVE TO HAVE YOU PAY ADMISSION. I WOULD JUST LET THE NICE SHIELD DOWN AND TURN THE OTHER WAY ON HER. SHE HAS NOT LET YOU IN HER LIFE THUS FAR SO I WOULD NOT TRY TO ENTER HERS ANY LONGER. PLAY HER GAMES FOR A WHILE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

I think that it is very tacky, I feel the same way that you do. I personally believe that if you are really "hosting" a party then you should do just that "host". It sounds like it was more of a playdate at the pumpkin patch, not a real party. Some people just do not get that.
I have had similar experiences in the past. And I completely feel for you. We invited people to a place that required admission, so we paid the admission, I did not think that it was "right" not to. However a month later we had to pay to get in to the place that they invited us. It was somewhat disappointing.
Good Luck with your neighbor in the future.

Where is this pumpkin patch? I want to be sure to avoid it! LOL

I'm sorry your neighbor turned out to be such a weirdo. I'd stay WAAAAAY clear of her in the future. "Nice" with that kind of person will always get you burned. Look at it this way ... at least you now know how to avoid getting burned twice with this woman, eh?

I just feel sorry for that two year old little boy! Nice example "MOM"! (Don't you wish FREAKS came with a nice big neon warning tag on their head??)

N.
OH MY GOOODNESS!!! I am the same as you I would of had a hard time having a good time at this birthday party!! I guess my suggestion is to be friendly but don't go out of your way. I think that your neighboor is rude an doesn't diserve your friendship!!
Good Luck
A.

I feel that when hosting a party for your child the financially resposibilty of the host is to provide Food, and Fun for the guest of the birthday kid. If you host a sleepover, you provide food for dinner, snacks and breakfast. That is just what you do. IF you have a smaller child in which the parents will be attending the party as well, and money is a little issue, i believe that the host should provide enough food for all the guest, and maybe ask someone to bring some soda, another to bring juice, another to bring napkins and utensils. But the downfall is not everyone remembers and I have had this happen where I attened a party, and was asked to bring soda, but no one brough cups. Where we lived at the time, there was nothing open to go buy disposables, so the mom (who wanted to just throw aways everything at the end of the party) ended up having to use her own cups, and had to borrow some from other people to have enough for everyone. I just tend to let it all fall on my plate. I am hosting a party, you just come and have a good time. Gifts are always option, but it is one of those customary things, so i do feel that if you are in attendance to a childs (or anyones) party the guest should have a gift, no matter how little, a token, if you will.
However, with the pumpkin patch thing, was that 20 for you or for your child. If it was for your child. OH yes VERY tacky. If it was for you, slightly rude, the admission for adults should have been noted that it wasn't covered in the invite. BUT, there are times, when One child will be invited to a party outside the home, like at the patch or a pizza place and the whole family shows up, I then feel it is not the host job to pay for EVERYONE's family but just the child invited and that the family should pony up the cash for their own entrance. Just what i think!

I completely agree with you! I am not sure that I would have gone into the party either!! If this is still bothering you, I would consider mentioning it in a friendly way to your neighbor.

Was it a sincere looking pumpkin patch?

KIDDING! Super tacky, I too would have left and am surprised your husband felt the need to go in. You know though, before you jump to conlcusions, maybe when you see her next in passing you should comment on how nice the party was, then in another tactful way comment on how surprised you were at the cost. If she says "Oh my goodness yes I had no idea it would cost that much" then maybe she didn't really mean to.

Chances are I'm very wrong and she just didn't care, which is super tacky, super rude, and just plain wrong, but you never know. Maybe she had been given a different rate and was just as surpised as you upon arriving? Tacky just the same for having the guest pay for it, but maybe they told her it would be $5 or something like that.

I believe in giving others the benefit of the doubt before deciding they are just unworthy of a friend, as almost all people are worthy of kindness from others, plus it makes you that much better of a person for having a big heart. But if you do decide she's not worth your time, remember, do you wrong once, shame on them, do you wrong twice, shame on you!

I agree with you TAAACKY!!! Ughh! Some people! lol Well I always figure, "Hey they have one a year, when your kid accomplishes a whole nother year...throw a bash, fork over a little cash!" My husband and I don't see eye to eye completely on this, but I win...hee hee! We invite tons of people cook tons of food, and get little gifts for all of the friends attending and when people ask what do the boys NEED for their birthday, I honestly answer "nothing, but for you to come to their party!" I know I will never regret paying a little money to make those few birthdays special! I would say thanks but no thanks to the next party invite she sends your way!
;) R.

I agree with you. I think I would have turned and gone home at that point. Good for you for being tactFUL. :) I am having my sons birthday party on a working steam engine line. My husband and I didn't want anyone to pay -- so we rented a train car (a 'haunted car' no less for October). The cost to us is pretty steep -- but we are sacrificing for the party and the guests. :)

I do think that is tacky! I agree with you, when you're having a party and inviting guests, they should have to worry about nothing but having a good time, and perhaps giving a gift, though not too expensive. I don't think you're overreacting, though I don't think it's worth making an enemy out of it. What if your son's grow up to be best friends? You'll have to deal with her all of the time!
I hope it all works out okay!

N., that was definately tacky! Maybe she just didn't know or maybe she has plenty of disposable income and thinks nothing of it. I probably would have turned around and gone home.

N.-
I do think this is tacky, but I also think what's done is done. You know what kind of person she is, and you cannot change her. It is also not worth it to say something because it would only make the situation worse. I guess the whole choose your battles comes into play here. The most important thing is did your son have fun? If so, then maybe it was worth it.
T.

Well I think you are over reacting a tad. Not trying to be rude. If it were me and I was invited to a pumpkin patch I would assume there was an admission price unless told otherwise. On the other hand she should have put that there is an admission price of 20 bucks or the rates on the invite.

In our family when we have a party all are involved. Somebody brings balloons, some a cake, some food, some drinks, and everyone a present. Everyone is expected to bring something to every party. We don't let the burdon of the party fall on the mom, dad or host. We make it a family affair. this Makes it more intimate and loving.

I would if she has upset you so, avoid her. This will only lead to ugliness i fear. If you approach this wrong it will cause problems and she is your neighbor. She can, if she chooses, cause you problems. So you are best to rise above this. Be the bigger person and leave this be. It can lead to no good. Just more upset.

First of all I wouldn't have a party at some place that costs anyone $20 to get in! I don't care how rich I or the persons invited were. That is just plain wrong. Or if I was out of my mind and did that. I would be sure to write on the invite the admission fee and say they didn't need to bring a presents then. Anyway, I would think that there should have been a group discount and would have stated that at the gate please tell them you are with the whoever party. What did the other guests say about it?

I think it was totally tacky on your neighbor's part to have a party where the guest is expected to pay admission! I don't think you were in the wrong for wanting to turn around and go home, either. It isn't about the money...it's the principle of it all. It is just plain rude to expect someone to pay admission to a party...it should be the host's responsibility to pay for the kids' admission. They could have at least put it on the invitations so the guests would know and be able to decide whether that is an expense that they want to foot.

That is so tacky!! I can't believe your husband made you go in! It's one thing to have to pay a couple of bucks to get in, but $20 is an awful lot and you should have been told if it was going to be more than a few dollars! They better have some giant golden pumpkins for that much money. I would totally cut ties with that woman, be cordial and polite, but I wouldn't associate with her anymore.

I agree that is was tacky. she should either covered the admission her self or let people know that there would be an admission price. Is your kid and her kid even friends? If not, why did you even accept the invite and then buy such and expensive gift. If you didn't want to pay the admission, you should have just gone home and then given the little boy his gift later.

i agree with the other moms it was very tacky, she could have at least put on the invite that there might be a cover charge, if she wasnt sure. i would not have wanted to go in either. if your family had a good time just consider it 20$ well spent and next time she invites you somewhere just politly inform her you have other plans that day but thanks anyway