Asking Guests to Bring Food to a Party??

First of all, since it's a big Halloween party, I would just put on the invite that it's a potluck and/or suggest bringing a side dish to share. There is nothing wrong with that.

The problem I have with this party is the expense you're putting into it. I would cut out the goody bags, some of the entertainment and go for less expensive crafts. You're the one that has chosen to put in the expense but then you are disappointed because people bring those "cheap dry cookies" - wow! If you can't afford the party, then why do it? Are you doing it to show off? keep up with the Joneses? I'm a little puzzled!!

Good luck!!!

Don't call it a Halloween "treat." I would immediately think something sugary. Call it a dish. It is perfectly reasonable to send out an invitation asking for folks to contribute a favorite dish.

You said "bring a Halloween treat to share" and you expected...lasagna? Crudités? No..."Halloween treats" are candy and cookies, candy apples, etc.

Call this a potluck. Just think about whether bringing food is the "price of admission" to the party, or, will you let it slide if some people come empty-handed.

I think potlucks are lovely, but that's not really what this is. It's like you are putting on a festival and having the food be potluck. It wouldn't bother me to have the invitation note that food is potluck.

I am not sure why that would bother people. Maybe I am a bit too easy-going at times, and it might really depend on your social circle, but I would think that if people are too..um...something (snotty?)...to enjoy a potluck meal or treats, they are welcome not to come.

ETA: I am sorry you were disappointed in what guests brought last year, but I would certainly have assumed my contribution to such an event was peripheral. You need to be clear that the meal is potluck if that's what you want. Some folks assign dishes for a potluck, which is OK especially for holiday meals, but it kind misses the point for general gatherings (pot - LUCK).

I don't mind bringing food to parties at all and I don't find it rude(unless its a party that requires bringing a gift). I agree with a previous poster "bring a Halloween treat" means cookies or a bag of candy. I would host the party during a none meal time and ask guest to "bring an appetizer to share" or "bring a side dish to share". That means something more substantial to me.

I'm with you on this one. The only thing I noticed was how you worded it last year. Saying "bring a Halloween treat" - to me, that meant some random cookies. If you'd said "bring a side dish to share" then I would've brought something more substantial. Does that make sense?

I guess everyone has differing opinions on the "asking guests to bring food" idea. I have no issue with it all, mostly because I love going to parties but I hate hosting them! So, if one of my friends is willing to host a party (and go to all that trouble) then I am more than happy to bring food. I'll bring whatever they want as long as I don't have to have it at my house. And your Halloween party sounds like a great time! I disagree with people who say you shouldn't host a party if you can't afford to feed everyone. In my opinion, you are providing a venue for everyone to have fun. That's pretty big of you.

As far as wording it, I'd probably come right out and say, "We are providing xyz. Please bring a side dish or dessert to share." I agree with Mom2many - can you provide hotdogs and hamburgers, or something like that? And your guests can fill in the rest?

Where we live, it is considered very normal to ask people to bring food to a large gathering. Especially when they are families that are invited.

Actually we save up recipes just for these occasions!

Call it a pot luck and list what you are providing. Then make sections for people to fill in.

Example, you are providing Sloppy Joe's and Vegetarian Sloppy Joe's..

ask people to sign up to bring.

Veggie platter

Chips and dips

2 salads

dozen cookies x 3

Or whatever.

We used to insist that people not try to provide everything. It was just not necessary, we all wanted to participate.

I think as long as you word it as a "potluck", it's just fine to ask people to bring food. I've been invited to potlucks where the invitation said "Last names A - F, bring an appetizer for 6 - 8, Last names G - K, bring a main dish for 3 - 4"...something along those lines. As long as we all knew that THIS was the type of party it was, nobody had any problems with it. Like you said, we understood the host was providing entertainment and the party space for many people, and we all knew how much fun it would be.

If I got an invitation for a small, intimate dinner party and the host said "please bring your own food", I'd be like "WHAT?! Tacky!"

But yours is obviously a huge, yearly bash, which will keep getting bigger, most likely. Turning it into a potluck is just fine.

I think it's totally fine. Say it's a pot luck or like someone else recommended, a side dish to share.

The only time it would be tacky is if it is for a birthday party or something like that. You might call it a pot luck and divide the alphabet...A-G main dish H-M side dish etc. That way you won't get a bunch of desserts from the store.

My feeling is that if you are hosting a party of that size, such that you are not talking individually to the guests and they are not being included in the planning, then you should provide whatever it is that you want there.

If you are unable (or unwilling, whichever the case may be) to bear the cost alone, then you must either adjust the size/scope of the party, OR you can ask for someone to co-host with you. Bearing in mind that a co-host gets a say in how the party is done, including location and guest list.

A small, everybody chip-in something, casual gathering with a few close friends and you ask people to bring something (someone brings some drinks, someone brings some fruit, someone brings cupcakes to share, etc) is fine as long as everyone is aware that there is like a sign-up list or something. It is ok to ask people to help if the affair is a small casual one (at least around here, for the most part, if you know everyone well).

BUT, if you go all out (which it sounds like you are) then you should go all out. Not all out except for ....

And honestly, if you asked people to bring "a Halloween treat to share" I wouldn't be a bit surprised that you got a bunch of cheap sugary junk and nothing "good" like fruit or veggie trays. "Treats" are just that: junky stuff. And given that you are hosting 50-60 KIDS, I wouldn't go out of my way to make something homemade either. I'd pick up something "Halloween-y" at the store.

Just my take.

I think, if you cannot afford to feed your guests, you should not be having a party. Or, you need to cut down on all the other costs. Sorry, but you are disappointed in what food your guests brought? They are not hosting the party- you are. You need to be in charge of providing the food.
I will often volunteer to bring a dish to get togethers. But I really do find it tacky when someone hosts a party (not pot-luck) and EXPECTS the guests to provide the food. the worst is when you get an invite that says "bring your own booze, meat and a side to share!" No thanks, I will just stay home, sorry. The only exception is Thanksgiving/Christmas dinners where we all contribute or an invite that makes it totally clear that it is a potluck party.

Know your guests. My best friend and I have this disagreement often. She says if someone cannot afford a party they should not have one. I say, if someone is always hostessing friends but rarely invited as a guest- then the get togethers should be potluck in order to share in the costs of such gatherings.

"Hi, our usual party is going to be slightly different this year. We're making it a pot luck too! We just love trying new home cooked foods. Be sure to bring your recipe to share. We're still having all the regular activities too so bring your favorite main dish and then bring your kids ready for some great fun".

To have people bring real food, you have to call it a potluck. I would use the evite tool for this (you can specify how much you need of each thing) or set up a signupgenius for this.

Otherwise, yes it's tacky to expect people to bring food to a party. You throw the party you can afford and if you can't afford food and drink and entertainment, you cut back on entertainment or schedule it at a non-meal time of day. No one cares how good the face painting is if they're hungry and thirsty.

Again, potluck = ok, bring-food-to-my-party = tacky.

I personally like pot luck style parties. Sounds like most have been to the past parties and should know about how many people will be there.
Here is a simple idea that I am used to seeing for classroom pot luck parties:
Could you assign appetizer to people with last name starting with A-O
Dessert with last name starting with P-Z

Maybe change to sweet and savory. I personally would assign more people to savory since some will still show up with cookies regardless of their last name.

p.s. I hate the stale Safeway cookies that always show up at parties. Also, your party sounds so much fun.

What you're wanting to do is called a "pot luck." On the invite, specify that guests "Please make and bring your favorite appetizer, salad, dessert, side-dish, or Halloween treat to share! Pizza and drinks will be provided."

This isn't tacky at all. I always ask if I can bring something when I'm invited ANYWHERE. I think it's tacky if they DON'T bring something.

Potlucks have been around for as long as I can remember, and I'm certain they were around when my grandma is young. The question really is...how do you do it. Personally I'm all for potlucks since I hate showing up to any party empty handed. Of course we are a family of 10, so potlucks help me feel a little less guilty lol

However, you need to cut somewhere and provide the meat. It's pretty standard for the host to provide at the very least that.

At the bottom you can add..

"Please bring a treat and a side dish to eat, hope you will join us for a Halloween treat."

Our friends have a HUGEvHalloween party every year. Their invite states that they will cover the main dishes, please "bring a dessert, appetizer, or side dish to share."

OR you're gonna have to call it a potluck. As for meat, veggie, app, side or salad.

IF this were a family/close friends who are considered family party then I would ask them to bring a dish to share - pot luck style and maybe say something like 'Aunt Meave you make the best potato salad, do you think you could bring that to our Halloween bash?'

If I were inviting an assortment of children (neighborhood and classmates, etc.) then I would not ask people to bring a food item. If for some reason I couldn't or didn't want to provide food, I would just host the party at a time between regular meal times and provide a few snacks. That or I would figure that the kids would gorge themselves on candy and be entertained by everything else and therefore not require a meal.

This party seems to be your baby, therefore, you foot the bill. Certainly, if someone asks "what can I bring" suggest something. I have never had a party that people did not ask if they could bring something. Once I had a holiday open house. It was understood that we provided all the drinks, beer, wine, soda, water. Then everyone brought an appetizer or dessert. No main course. There were 175 people that day. We had quite the assortment of apps and desserts. Worked out great and we had a ball and my expense was not that great. Any other parties, like graduation, birthday, I would say thank you but not necessary.

It is totally ok to ask people to contribute to a party you are throwing FOR EVERYONE. It'd be different if you were asking people to bring food for your kid's birthday party or a baptism, etc.

I'd divide it up by last names, like A-E please bring a favorite salad dish; F-L bring x, y or z, etc.

We had friends where we used to live who put on an amazing Halloween party just like this. They had tons of games, prizes, a haunted house and amazing decorations. The kids got prizes for each game. They went crazy dressing up. All the kids had a BLAST. They did it potluck style too. Each guest had to bring something to contribute. They let everyone know each year it was a potluck and they directed what you were to bring. Like: a drink, a main dish, a veggie dish, a dessert. You had to make it spooky though...like punch with floating eyeballs, witch finger sandwiches. It was so much fun looking up a halloween food recipe and making it each year. I think potlucks are wonderful and see nothing wrong with them. I love potlucks and would never be offended. But I have met people who don't like potlucks...they believe if you invite people to your house you supply all the food. I think it's a cultural thing or something. I think there was nothing wrong with what you did. Next time state POTLUCK on the invitation and specifically give each guest directions on what kind of food they should bring like our friends do for their amazing party. I think your Halloween Party sounds incredible. Keep it up!! Do not worry about what a minority of people might or might not think.

Just write "Potluck" on the invitations. That should clue people in to bring
an appetizer or side dish.
I would skip the goody bags to save money.
I might even choose one entertainer to save $. (face painter OR magician
Also, since you're having a lot of ppl, choose big pleasing food items that
aren't super expensive (pizza ((esp for kids)), a lasagna,bread,cupcakes

I think maybe you should throw a party you can afford. Novel idea, right?

I agree that it's a good idea to make it a potluck. I suggest that if you label ita potluck along with a bit of ddescription so they guests know how what they bting fits in that guests will do better with the food.

I think it's great for you to host a party in such a wonderful way.

I think its fine to ask people to bring food to this type of party-its not like its a birthday or a shower. Our neighborhood does this every year and as others have said, we call it a potluck. On the invitation the host family sends out, it says "Each family should bring a two liter of soda and a covered dish to share". In our area, "covered dish" is code for "real food". Not snacks, cookies, or candy.

Use this website: http://www.perfectpotluck.com/
It's a free tool to coordinate a meal for a group. Maybe you could provide hotdogs and brats and ask everyone else to bring the sides/deserts.
It's not tacky at all.
Here's how a girlfriend of mine just worded hers:
I wanted to let everyone know that the potluck will be Sunday October 13th at 4:30 p.m. at my home. Everyone please bring a dish to pass. We will be having brats, Italian sausage, etc... so anything to go along with that would be great. Once you know what you're going to bring please let us know so that we don't all bring baked beans!

It sounds like you are trying to act rich by having all this other stuff and entertainment and are falling a bit short because the food is expensive. Did you ever try cake and icecream in a house on a Saturday afternoon? It is wonderfully fun and doesn't cost a lot at all. How do people build up to letting their children yearn for anything special or the big graduation gift, or a big wedding if it is all done when they are so little. Yes, sorry, i agree-unless someone offers, it is tacky.

On the invite say it is a potluck. We are invited to potlucks all the time. The host usually provides the main dish--grilled burgers/brats/chicken breasts, sandwich tray, pulled pork/chicken, BBQ beef, etc. Guests bring the sides and desserts.

I agree that you can either cut back on the entertainment to help cover the cost of the food or plan the event to happened between meal times and just provide snack foods.

If you wish to follow etiquette then I guess a truly invited party that you are hostessing should include food. That said then etiquette also says each and every family attending should also bring you a hostess gift. Anything from a bottle of wine to a candle to a gift card for a meal out.

But this sounds like an annual bash that will evolve each year. Many don't want to host and would prefer to be told...please bring a favorite fall dish to share for our potluck while the kids enjoy the festivities. I would not have problem with this and would expect that if you put on a great party entertainment wise that they would be happy to spend 10.00 on a dish to share. If you hear grumblings I suggest ending your hospitality for a year. Many don't realize that they had a good thing going with minimal effort until its gone. Have a great bash.

When I host a party, I expect to cover 100% of the expenses because I am the one who invited people to MY party.

If you want it to be pot-luck, you need to specify upfront pot-luck, bring a dish to share and BYOB.

We do attend potluck's but again, if I ever host... my house, restaurant, where ever, I cover the expenses 100%.

If you can't afford to have the party, skip this year.. There is no rule that says you must have this party every year.

Totally okay to ask for food especially with such a large group. In the invite, state please bring a dish to share; we will provide non-alcoholic drinks for the kids. If someone has a problem with it, they don't have to come.

You could also probably drop the goody bags with everything else going on.

The general rule is that one only throws the kind of party or event that one can afford to host. You can't ask guests to contribute to your party to offset the cost. What you can do is scale back your plans to reduce costs.

If you were co-hosting with others as a group, then everyone that was in on it the planning would naturally contribute. But it seems clear from your details that this Halloween bash is absolutely your very own event without the input of other people.

Next time, before making any solid plans, ask several friends or family members to go into it with you. It means that it won't be *your* party anymore and you'l have to give up some control over the details, but you'll also have help with the costs.

I would call it a potluck and put something like please bring a side dish/appetizer/main dish/dessert for (x number of people) to share. You could break down people by last name alphabetically so you send a side dish request to say A-G, appetizer H-M, etc. I don't find potluck tacky at all.

The term "treat" was the mistake. That says "something sweet and in a small amount" to most people. If you wanted substantial food, use the term "potluck meal" and if you really want to, set up an online sign-up so you get entrees and salads and desserts and not just all desserts. Don't use treat when you mean entrée. Potlucks are perfectly fine. But don't specify stuff that is time-consuming to make. It's your party, not theirs.

The party sounds great and very generous of you but please be cautious about criticizing those who brought those dry grocery store cookies. You say the party's for "life-long close friends" and family and a few others including newer friends...I would cut some slack to all those groups for a lot of reasons, especially as you weren't clear about what you wanted. You are focused on your party, but they don't necessarily have time to whip up great, cooked food and yes, they will bring "last minute stuff they picked up on the way" if you just say "treats." They may even do the same if you say "potluck." Are you ready to just enjoy the event if they do that, and you get store-bought potato salad from someone?

If the cost of the entertainment etc. means you're stressing about the food and whether others will bring what you expect them to -- consider whether you might want to scale back. The kids will live if there's no magician or if they do a craft but don't decorate a cookie. Not dissing the nice ideas but only thinking that if you ask others to help with a party by bringing food, it's good to be specific with requests -- and then gracious about whatever they end up really bringing.

It isn't tacky to invite people to a potluck!

To get real food, tell people that you will handle the main and dessert, and ask them to bring sides. I find that at potlucks everyone brings store bought dessert, unless you specify.

Then, tell your close friends what you need. I always tell my friends exact,y what kind of help I need when we throw parties, even down to the recipe sometimes ( s, I love your black bean salad, could you bring that).

So invite people to a potluck, design categories, and ask them to RSVP with the type of food they are bringing.

Eta: I like the dividing it by last name idea!

It's only tacky to ask guests to bring food if it is a party they are expected to bring a gift to. I agree with others who mentioned that "a Halloween treat to share" sounds like you are asking for store bought cookies or candy. Ask for appetizers, veggie platters, side dishes, desserts etc.

I just had a party for about 30 people and we spent close to $400 dollars on food and drink, so I hear you. Perhaps calling it a Halloween potluck might set the stage for everyone to bring food. But last year they might have been confused since you provided the food the year before. Good-luck.

If its too expensive, don't do it, or don't complain about what people bring. I've had graduation parties with a $300 water slide that didnt cost me "a thousand" ???

I think if there are NO parents, just the kids.. It's super tacky to have it be a potluck. I think it is acceptable to have it a potluck with parents and kids, but if you can swing it, it's always nicer to throw the party yourself. A lot of times my friends will offer to bring something.. Take them up on it! But I do think it is almost offensive to direct what people bring and I'd be a bit put off if it were done by last name. One thing we do is put a group on Facebook and list what you are bringing so we don't have doubles and triples of everything..

I don't think potlucks are tacky at all, unless you are expecting people to bring a gift (like for a birthday). Otherwise, I think it's a great way to afford to have more than one party a year haha.

With a halloween party you have a fun way of encouraging people to be creative with food. You could offer a "prize" for the most creative halloween food item perhaps? If it is an evite, you could request that guests RSVP with what they intend to bring so there aren't multiple items (I do that ALL the time, otherwise I end up with the same dry boring grocery store cookies!).

Good luck. I wish I was getting an invite! Sounds like an awesome party.

If I have a party once a year and it is a big deal, I would not ask guests to bring food. I would cut costs in other ways or do it every other year. The whole point of throwing a party is entertaining people. They don't want to do the work. They want to come and have fun. If it is a get together type party, less fancy and formal (word of mouth or phone invites) then I think potluck or suggestions are fine. For instance, a formal work Christmas party with fancy invites would mean free food. But a less formal work party at someone's house might mean Potluck of some sort. Any party you bring a gift for the thrower should NOT have potluck food. If you don't bring a gift for the thrower such as a retirement party, potluck is fine. Hope that helps.

I don't host a party and ask people to bring food. I might ask them to bring their favorite drinks, but even then, I will provide beverages (besides water). I tend to avoid parties--unless they are close friends or relatives--where I am asked to bring money or food. When I am hosting, I pick up the tab, so I expect that when someone else is hosting, unless--as someone else mentioned--it is labeled as a potluck event.

I agree with potluck suggestions if you want meal. However, with everyone's dietary needs from allergies to lifestyle to sensory and on these days, it may just be best to avoid meal times. You can schedule for after lunch and just say fruit, cupcakes & water will be served or keep your bring a treat (but keep it nut-free if allergy issues). When I've done larger kid bday parties in the past, I've always tried to avoid meal times - it saved money and the kids were too busy to eat and I saw so much food go to waste at parties.

Yes you can ask to bring food by u r throwing the party and if u are doing it during lunch or dinner hour u should provide the meal whether u r spending a lot of money on the party or not. You chose the time place and hour they can bring snacks but not the meal. That's why u got what u did that one year. I'm not tryin to be mean but don't during lunch time do it 2-4 then, then that means eat before or after.

Personally, I would pay for the food. If it was your first time, I would definitely make it potluck, but you have already set a precedent in providing the meal as well as the entertainment.

In the end, you can do as you like. This is just my opinion! :)