A long while back I left a job I had been at for over 8 years. I loved it, but it was time for me to go. I was not happy at the end. I left and searched for what seemed like forever for another job. I couldn't find anything until one day I got a call back from a resume I sent and they called me in for an interview. I am a child care teacher. Well I had a good interview, and they eventually called me back. Unfortunately they couldn't hire me for a full time position because one of their subs was offered a position and she decided to take it. I was more than fine with it because if that had been me, I would have loved the opportunity to be put on full time. Though she couldn't offer me full time, she asked if I wanted to sub. I told her yes. I have been since December, but the nice thing is that if I have something going on with the kids as far as appointments and appointments for me I can tell her I can't sub. Anyway, my brother and sister in law both are in law enforcement and they have been lucky because they have had hours that allowed one person to be with their kids while the other works. They haven't had to have either of their kids in day care. This is wonderful! My Brother In Law got promoted and his time off is limited now because it is a new position. My sister in law has had to go to classes for work lately and has asked me to babysit if I could. The first time it was 2 days and I helped because my mother in law couldn't, her dad had just passed and she has a business she runs with my father in law. Then I had to be off for the funeral and then my kids have been off for Spring Break and I don't have any babysitters during that time so I had to be off with them. I was going to be able to work Thursday and Friday at the Day Care Subbing, but my son just broke his toe and I had him off on Thursday and then to get him to a doctor on Friday. Now my sister in law asked me today if I could babysit for her kids all next week. I never asked for money when I babysat for my sister years ago I just did it because it was family and I love my family. I love my sister and brother in law and their kids and I want to help, but I also need to keep up the subbing at the center. I don't want her to think I am not a reliable sub. I just haven't been able to sub lately. I was expecting two days with my niece and nephew like last time, but this time it is a full week. I don't know what to do. I tried talking with my husband about it, but he isn't giving me any help on it. He does agree at some point they need to find child care for their kids part time. He did also say that I shouldn't ask for money, but if they offer some, I should argue softly but take the money. Any thoughts??? Help. I love family, but also want to maintain good dealings with the center I sub at. Thank you all! Ellen
Hi everyone!! I wanted to thank you all for your advice. I was going to use all of it when my brother in law told me he was going to pay me for the week whether I wanted it or not. SO, I e-mailed my job and told them that family was in a bind and I was going to babysit for them. I won't be out any money, they told me they were going to pay me what I would get subbing at the child care center. My brother in law was a cop promoted to Homicide detective and he was a Marine and his wife is a cop so I told them I didn't think I could argue too much with law enforcement. Anyway, it all worked out. I told my subbing job that the week after I would be available. I hope she understands. They have lots of floaters and 2 other subs so I think they should be ok. I hope you all had a great weekend. Thank you again. I love Mamasource. Ellen
You have to think of you first and it sounds like you want to keep this sub job. You will have to let them know you can do it on the days you are not subbing.
Just to clarify a few things, does the center have another sub? could you speak to the director and explain the situation, that you do want a FULL time position That you enjoy the subbing and would be willing to continue doing it but for these dates or this time period you will be unavailable, and woudl she still have openings or consider you for subbing when the time period is over, Or is it a take it or leave it deal?
If you are comfortable enought with the director this seems a good compromise, Maybe go to SIL first adn say you can help them out for a month or what ever but that after that time they either need to pay you a reaonsable rate or you will have to commit totally to the subbing. This only works if you can chalk it up to finances.
You have to continue working to be a reliable sub. If you wish to become the child care provider for your relatives, than you need to be paid by them. They are getting paid, why should they not pay you? If you don't speak up now, they are going to automatically assume you can watch their kids any time for free.... which will put your job in jeopardy.
Your family (kiddos and hubby) MUST come first! That means making money when you can. You can tell your SIL that you will be subbing and can't watch the kiddos.
Have you suggested your daycare to them? ESP if you get a family discount, it may be the perfect solution.
I'm a regular sub for 1 school ( my choice) and I have many contacts there over the 10 yrs I've subbed.
What I love about my subbing is that my jobs are pre-arranged.
I run our company from home and my subbing is my "mental break". I love it.
If you live your sub opportunity I suggest doing what you can to keep it. Many subs along the way move up as needed and of wanted.
If you do sit for family, it's time toast your fees and start your business!
If you are not available to sub you will not be offered a FT position. Even if you got paid for the one week you watched your sister's kids it still puts your future at risk. Just tell her you are sorry but you need to work. How could she not understand that?
When do you know your sub schedule for the next week or day?
I might just make it clear that the sub work has GOT to get top priority, but maybe as long as you are not the only option for their child care, you might be able to cover a day for them here and there, depending on your work schedule.
Just very simply tell them that you need to sub for the extra income and to work toward gaining a FT position, which has been your ultimate goal since leaving your last job.
It's really just about expressing you expectations and boundaries. Once you do that--in a nice way--they should respect the boundaries you give.
Good luck!
Your sister knows you have a paying job, subbing is a job that will hopefully lead to full time. Unless you are independently wealthy, she should be offering to pay you for your time. I'm surprised hubby is against asking for money, you are giving up a paying position for them. The schools know who is reliable and you haven't been, the reliable ones are the ones that will get the calls.
I paid my step mother ( not the low wages like $30/day but good pay)to watch my daughter when she was young, child care was very valuable to to me.
I think you need to choose what you will do...the school may not feel you are a good bet at this time.
Talk to the Director and see if anyone is wanting time off. If they are you can simply tell the family you have to work. They will be able to find someone. They surely have friends that have moms SAH. They cannot totally be dependent on you.
I understand they want to have you but you do have to think about your future too. If you can't work, can't work, can't work...they will eventually stop calling and write you off.
Tell them you'd love to but you need to work-you need the income
Well I can understand how this would be really awkward for you. If it were me, I would probably tell Sis that you can offer to watch the kids one or two days since they are in a bind but you cannot afford to take a week away from your job. You are going to have to be really honest with her and make it clear that you are willing to help if you can but these jobs are part of your expected income for the month. Maybe she doesn't understand that you are doing this full time, especially if you haven't been able to work recently b/c of the other circumstances. If they offer to pay you then sure take the money if you need it. I mean you are giving up your other work, virutually taking vacation, to help her, so if you can make up the income do it. But stay firm and ask for a reasonable amount that will be beneficial to both of you. I don't envy you, for sure! These conversations are hard to have but it sounds like your sister is going to be needing more and more childcare coming up and you can't set yourself up to be the go-to woman if you aren't in a position to be that woman!
Sorry - if you are going to miss out on money to watch their children FULL TIME - they need to compensate you. family or not.
I would also tell them that as much as I love them and appreciate them? I cannot always be there so they will have to make sure they find primary care for their kids.
Why do I say this? Because it will become common and you will end up being taken advantage of...family or no....you allow them to continue to take advantage of you? they will always assume you will be there and it will be free....while you get great time with your niece and nephew? they get a free ride on expenses....you'll be feeding two more mouths...etc.
GOOD LUCK!!
You MUST figure out your daily rate. You must explain to them you must sub or she will stop calling you. I would totally expect to pay you. Your time is money and they should have backup babysitters, not be relying on you more and more.
You MUST tell you SIL that the daycare center comes first because it is your paid job, and you have to be there for them first.
No arguing softly about pay. I have to ask you why you think that you should work for family for free? If you were the grandma and retired, that would be one thing. But this is different.
Time to toughen up and remember that the center comes first.
Dawn
If you are needed to sub, tell your SIL that you have to work. If you currently aren't scheduled to work, tell your SIL that you can babysit as long as you aren't called to work.
