Stuck!!!! - Maricopa,AZ

In answer to your question. Yes we were stuck for a number of years. My own personal stuck started in December of 2002. I lost all vision in one eye. I had several (6) surgeries over the course of a year to try and keep my vision. None of them worked. I was getting back on track back to work when my husband got hurt and missed a lot of work. we were financially holding on by barely a thread. in 2007 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. big surgery (mastectomy), 6 months of chemo, and then 9 weeks of daily radiation therapy in 6 places. I had 3rd degree burns, couldn't lift my arm or turn my head for many weeks. During the end of my chemo my husband hurt himself at work. He required 4 surgeries to be put back together and was off of work for 9 months. we lost our home to foreclosure. We had to rent a home for almost 3 years before we were able to get our credit straightened out and buy another one. Our children were not able to get student loans because we were not able to cosign.

now for the good parts. We are healthy and we just bought a new house. Our oldest son graduated from college last month. our daughter will graduate in July. our middle son is a senior at NIU this fall and our youngest is in high school. What we as a family went though made our children stronger and more self reliant. none of them decided to give up on going to college instead they worked full time jobs and worked hard to earn scholarships. You will come though this just stay strong. You are not alone. There are a lot of good people out there. You will find that the more you give the more you receive back.

I am so sorry!! I divorced three years ago. I am now single with three children. My oldest, a daughter is going to a university in another state. I am trying to pay her way so she can start out on the right foot. I have a son in high school and another in elementary school. I just had to file bankruptcy and lost my house. I have been trying to pack up this house but it is amazing how much stuff we have. I have lost everything!! I still have my job but it is not a good job since I got it when I was married so I could be home with the kids when they were home. I have learned to live day by day and I feel pretty blessed. If you can join some kind of support group it would benefit you. I know there are a lot of people in your shoes out there. It helped me bunches to read a lot of self-help books. Dr. Phil is great and he gives you a lot to think about.

I'm sorry to hear that nothing has worked out for you. My brother also owned a home in Maricopa that lost over half of it's value when it all hit the fan a few years ago, lost his job, and is currently living with his in laws with his wife and five kids. So, although I am not in your situation, it still hits a little close to home. Many people in your area were hit very hard by the housing market drop.
There is always hope. The Lord will not test you beyond your ability to bear - and he knows you better than you know yourself. Prayers are not always answered in the way we expect, and I have found that trials usually are for a long-term good that we cannot perceive. The Lord is aware of you and your needs and He loves you. Remember that. He loves you.

Your not alone at all....w/in the past 3 yrs my husband was diagnosed w/cancer, lost his vp job at a paper co he worked at for over 20 yrs & we're closing on a short-sale of our home the end of the month. Things here in NJ aren't much better either, he was lucky enough to find a job that paid less then unemployement but covered him w/benefits (his cobra benefits were $1200/mth) but he makes 1/3 of what he made. Life can bite the big one at times real bad and to make matters even worse as of last night, actually this morning at about 1:30 we were woken up by the tow truck operator sent by my bank who "has been trying to get a hold of me" which is BS - they have been refusing work w/us b/c of the bankrupcy we had to file w/his medical bills, but not biggie my husband offered me his mountain bike! My new motto is that God gives us what he knows we can handle because he knows we kick ASSparagus plant!!!!!!

Signed,
Your new member of the We're not alone Club

I understand the pain for sure. Everyday, something hurts, a lot of something hurts. It moves around between back, ankle, both feet, sciatica, hips, knees, lately my elbows and often my hands. I've been this way for 20 years or so and I'm 44.

However, I am in the buck it up camp. What else is there to do? ONLY I can manage my "syndrome", "disease", whatever. I refuse drugs outside of over the counter and try not to overdo those. I meditate, pray, eat healthy, but I sit too much. It's hard to exercise when I'm in pain.

Financially I do okay. We never get better, never worse. I tithe. No matter what. No matter when. No matter how or why. I don't let anyone or anything get in the way of giving back to God what belongs to him in the first place. The only reason I am so in debt is because I am impatient and spend money too quickly and on credit.

The Bible says that God is a rewarder off those that have faith in him and those that seek him. In fact, we are told it's impossible to please the Lord without faith. So when I tell you to control your thoughts, keep trying, keep studying, keep praying, keep moving, keep trying.. It's because you will win if you keep going.

If this is your internet connection you have great tools at your fingertips... www.kcm.org Check them out. Watch their videos. You'll get your faith back on track.

I haven't been through exactly what you're going through, but I have definitely been dealing with my own setbacks lately. I'll be honest, sometimes I'm pretty whiney (to myself) about how much better life was before we bought this house in the middle of fricken nowhere, doubled our commute and quadrupled our fuel costs (okay, so I'm also whiney to others... sorry). The thing I try to remember (along with the "good old days") is that those good times were temporary... *and so is this struggle*. I wish I could have an answer now about how long the struggle will last before we're back to good times. It's just not going to happen. But this hard time we're in won't last forever, they never do.

I know it's not a lot of help, but it's all I've got. Sometimes it works.

Yes been there. Essentially been going through serious trials all my life. But of course there is hope. Hope in Christ as He will work all things for you and He has a perfect plan for you. Just believe in Him so you are able to hear it and in the mean time really dig in to what it means to find joy in your trials. As God has recently shown me I can lose all those things in my life I thought were important but as long as I have Gos first and my family its all I need. You have got to read Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Myers!!

In my worst moments and in all moments, the prayer that always works for me is Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will guide your paths." I believe this with all my heart. I do what I can to make educated decisions but there are things I cannot control and I must let go of.

I focus as much as I can on the positive things as few and far as they may seem or I focus on what makes me happy or happier times. I try to address any negative things going, once I've done what I could, then I practice an imagery I've learned: I picture the difficult/unpleasant situation and imagine it getting smaller and smaller until it's crumpled to a tiny spit ball and I just flick it out of my mind forever.

Anytime, I feel a negative memory or emotion taking over, I visualize a happy moment or situation and let that take over.

Sorry. My heart goes out to you and the others that posted.

At least you are starting over at 40 or so and not 60 like some of the people that lost their jobs and are "too old" for most employers to hire them. (I was downsized at 50+ and couldn't get a job or even get a lawyer to take my case without $50K upfront money. By the time I raised the money, the statute of limitations had run out.)

Good luck to you and yours.

Just know that you are not the only one, in regards to the home/job/financial problems, especially in our area. A lot of people are in a situation similar to yours, including my family.

I think at this point, if you have a home, food, electricity, clothes and all the necessities then you are lucky. The reality is that America is a mess & it won't ever be the same. There will always be a curveball in life, but at some point the negativity needs to be let go of & life just needs to be taken day by day by.