Stressed and Not Sure Why

Marriages go through ups and downs. We are in a low right now where we don't talk as much. Maybe you need a much deserved date night.

I think you left a working world where everything was streamlined, scheduled, organized and became a SAHM M. where you were not prepared for what was to happen or be expected, so you are overwhelmed. Stuff that you normally would have taken care of is probably now taken for granted. Take a deep breath, plan what you want to get done during the day, get with other SAHM on how they organize their time and I am sure you will get on target soon. Good luck.

Get out the house. Do something for yourself. Bring back the spark into yourself for life and living. Create a new normal. Take a class. Go for a vigorous walk or short run. Go some new places. Make some new friends. Try volunteering in some activity where you are helping someone else.

Marriage is work. The spark as you call it doesn't burn out on it's own. You need to keep the spark going by doing different things or even doing something. Learn how to capture you husbands heart through making know how much you respect and admire him. Speak to him and of him with the utmost respect and he will shower you with love. Sounds crazy but works.

Perhaps a morning fitness routine of jumping rope for 5-10 minutes or jumping jacks or something to get your blood running first thing in the morning will really help jumpstart the process of getting thing moving in a better direction for you.

The body can build up stress but exercise seems to properly release the stress whiile letting off healthy and helpful feel good hormones. Changes everything. I hope this helps.

I agree that you need a hobby--maybe something to get you out of the house. Also, take your kiddos to library time or playdates (if you're not doing that already). The more you get out the better! At night, once the kids are in bed, agree on something for "together" time. Hubby and I don't go on the computer at night and we agree to do things together--whether we watch tv, a movie, or play a game/cards.

There's a book called "The Mood Cure" that you should be able to check out of your library. You can skim to the part that fits you and find out if you can eat or take some over the counter supplements that will help you get back to normal.

It's a great book.

Sounds like you need to create date nights and have some things of your own to do.

It does sound like you are getting depressed, especially if you spend a lot of time dozing on the sofa like you did that night. Its a big adjustment to go from working where you are with adults and can have adult conversations to staying at home with kids all day. As much as we love our children if you are lucky enough to be able to stay home with them you still need to find time to talk to friends or schedule playdates so you have some adult interaction as well as being there for your child.

I understand the feeling lonely and like you just are not close with your husband because my husband works very long hours and I never know when he is going to get off work. I was feeling the same way (and still have those moments sometimes) but I started calling my husband when I get off work everyday to see how his day is going and around what time he thinks he will get off work. That alone has made a huge difference just to have some kind of time frame of when to start looking for him instead of waiting all evening and having no idea if its going to 6, 7, or even 8 before he gets there. That was depressing. The good thing for you is that your husband does seem to get home pretty early so maybe you could talk to him about making time to reconnect at some point every evening. Men dont seem to have this need like we do so they dont understand it unless we talk to them and explain it to them.
Good luck and take care of you, talk to him he probably has no idea you are feeling so disconnected.

Maybe being a stay at home Mom isn't for you. It's not for everyone. I had a friend who tried it and she just couldn't do it so she went back to work. You do sound depressed and if you are stressed and depressed you doing yourself and your kids and injustice. If you want to go back to work do so. You shouldn't feel guilty because you are not alone. If you do plan to continue to be a stay at home Mom then maybe you need to talk to someone or plan better so that you and the kids can get out during the day. Make a schedule everyday and follow it. Good luck!!

I was in that situation once. Stressed and irritated for no apparent reason.

Do you know the SIMs video game? It's a person that you control -- make sure his needs are met -- needs like Hunger, Rest, Fun, Social, and Hygiene. When the SIM man's needs are not met, he gets grumpy and refuses to do things like go to work or study and eventually, just cries or collapses on the floor if he's tired.

To make sure his "Fun" need is met, you have to make him watch tv, read a book, or go dancing. To make sure his Social need is met, you have to make him go visit other people.

The point is that you have basic Needs. They need to be fulfilled for you to function well. The second point is that you have to do it or it won't get done.
Don't expect your husband to initiate anything. You have to do it. If you think the spark has burnt out, you have to relight it.

When I get grumpy, I call a friend to go out for dessert when my husband comes home. In fact, sometimes, the minute he gets through the door, I pick up my purse and take off -- sometimes to nowhere in particular. He understands that "if mommy's happy, everyone's happier".

So consider it part of your Mommy Job to fulfill your own needs because it will be better for the family if you're better.

Give yourself 5 years on the marriage. THen things start getting better. Find yourself something to do once a week. This way he HAS to help out with kids. WE both work full time and yes, sometimes my husband spends all night in his office. On fridays, when he comes home from work and hes in his office when I get home, I won't call him for dinner. Why should I have to do everything while he does absolutely nothing. Sometimes I will come home from being out and my son is running around while the husband is locked in his office. Also, if my husband naps before dinner, I won't wake him up. Am I mean, yes but everyone needs time out and away.

No, it does i am been on and off stay at home mom..i go work part time sometimes. My hubby is gone for 12 hours a day round trip. It sucks. now that my boys are in school i get to see those moms. I have hardly anything in common with any of them. I until we moved into a house felt i had bars on my windows of our apartment... I would watch the world go by....or the people who lived near me. i still feel that way now in the house from time to time.

My hubby zones out when he gets home to. i encourage loudly that he play with boys..or we both involve ourself with boys before night time.

Give yourself a bit of time...2010 is not that far from the past. You guys are just is the marriage nesting phase. Did you guys live together before?

one other thing i hate...my hub works for a law firm. He is sec head of HR. So he gets to go on these 300-400 buck lunches at these places i can even pronounce. i have learned i have to bite my tongue and just be happy he gets to do it. He does try to make up for the fact i dont get to do that by suprising me with dinner downton and he took care of the babysitting worries....which come to think of it....its been awhile....I'll be on my toes now...

hang in htere mama!! if you need to vent...know i am in your shoes for most part or been there feel free to pri. message me.

So you may need a hobby. Scrapbooking or sewing, or something.
It is hard when your first married.... you are still trying to figure things out and find what you both like to do together. Come up with a house project that you can do together, paint a room or clean out the garage. Spring cleaning. Sometimes when your fulfilled with what your doing and your little world, the marriage world comes together . He is "checking out" so to speak, so you need to pull the weight towards getting in the game of something for you two to do together.

Look into a moms group or something that will actively give you a outlit of friends, playgroups, moms night out and such to help modivate your day.

Blessings