My son will be 2 1/2 in January and for almost 6 months now he gets SUPER upset when those around him hug. It used be just when my husband and I would hug or kiss and we thought he was just being protective or jealous of me. He throws and outright tantrum, screaming, crying, drops to the ground, real tears and visibly shaken each and every time.
It does not matter if I hug someone, Dad hugs someone, I hug a stranger or someone he knows, etc. He even reacted this was when his grandmother hugged one of her friends he doesn't even know!
His school has taught them to be very affectionate and he has eagerly hugged his classmates and teachers daily since I went to work when he was 12 months.
We just returned from a trip to visit family and I talked it up the whole way on the plane how mommy was going to hug Mimi when we get there...still freaked. Any ideas, suggestions or similar experiences? We always think everything is a "phase" but this one is lasting a long time.
It's hard to ignore when he does it in front of others who have no idea what is going on.
Thanks!
Thanks for all the thoughts! I think we will practice more at home. He loves to act it out with animals and thinks it's "sweet" when they hug and kiss.
I think ignoring is good for now too. Thanks for the responses.
Not sure if this would help but have you tried including him in the hug? I would let him sit on my hip and go to hug the person and see if that works. Sorry I am not more help - my kiddos didn't have that issue (plenty of others but not that particular one! :P)
Yes, some kids go through this.
I sometimes wonder if they think people are getting ready to leave.
We always hug good bye.. Could be a visual to him that someone is leaving.
So we would reassure our daughter.. We are not going anywhere.. come here and hug tool.
I know it would be hard, but I say ignore it every time! As you are hugging the person, explain quitely "this is a bad habit that DS has, so just ignore it, we're working on it". Then release from the hug and go about your business, conversation etc. I would even try to play this out at home more often to practice. You and hubs hug, he throws tantrum, you release from hug when done and move to another room to talk. If he follows, tell him you won't talk to him until he calms down, and continue to go about your business and ignore him.
If you don't think anything untoward has happened to him, then I would ignore the tantrum. My DD used to get upset and refuse to hug or say good-bye to anybody --- because if she didn't do/say it, it didn't happen, right? It was really frustrating.
I would bet he associates adults hugging anyone with the adults leaving. This is a phase and he will figure out that hugs happen at other times too. He is still young enough to be confused when adults hug upon greeting each other; he doesn't quite get yet that it does not necessarily mean someone's leaving. Maybe try talking up the idea of "hello hugs" that mean someone is staying and "goodbye hugs" that mean someone is going, and clearly and repeatedly saying "This is a big hello hug!" etc. as it's happening. Also he may want to be included, if his school emphasizes inclusive hugs for all.
