Son Acting Out!! - San Antonio,TX

I don't think that he's really old enough to understand or even know anything about the new baby. It sounds like he is just starting his "terrible twos". They call it terrible twos, but it starts earlier and lasts longer than age 2. This is the time when you are really going to have to be firm about discipline. If you can do it now, you will have a much easier time with him later. I was pretty strict with my children when they were little, and now they are very polite and well behaved. I can't even remember the last time when one of them got into trouble. However, friends of mine who dismissed behavior issues as a normal part of babyhood, are now having to deal with terrible teenagers. I'm not saying to beat on him or anything, but now is the time to start setting and enforcing limits consistently.

I personally wouldn't try to explain it...my youngest are 12 months. I would refer to my belly as the baby, I would include him in on everything, and I would buy him a baby doll. I would hug the baby, kiss the baby, feed the baby, change the baby, be careful with baby... etc...

We did that and it was an easier transition. Boy or not, he can have a baby doll... it won't hurt his role in life ;)

Good luck!

A 15 month old cannot possibly understand enough of what is going on to act out about you being pregnant. They can sense tension, happiness, etc- but I think it is MUCH more likely that your beautiful little constellation is heading into.... the terrible two's! It started around 15-18 months for my son too. Don't take it personally! It is very normal and as I like to say about all things kids "This too shall pass!"
Take care, P.

I hope I'm misunderstanding some of your statements, but surely you are not taking a toddler's actions personally. This is so unfair and unhealthy to do to a child. Children shouldn't be made to feel guilty because of the parents' "feelings". We are the "grown-ups" and certainly can control our emotions especially in front of our babies! Maybe the next time you feel like crying, take it to the bathroom. I think Parenting w/Love and Logic would be a very helpful book. Happy pregnancy and I agree w/the others...he hasn't a clue, yet, is just reacting to you. This(1-3yrs)is the funniest and sometimes most difficult age so just try to relax and enjoy it!

Your son will respond the way you respond to him at 15 months......he is not mature enough to consiously 'hurt' you and if you are crying in front of him you need to address your actions.........make the idea of a new baby fun but until you are in your second trimester, there is really no need to tell him anything.....when you do start buying things for the new baby always buy him a little something and make sure you have a 'gift' box for times people bring gifts for the baby but are insensitive and do not think about the other child who only sees he is not getting anything.....he is way too young for all the emotions you are putting on him unless he is seeing behaviour that bypasses him...........my kids are 14 mo apart and there was not an issue........remember young kids mimic behavior....

I think what your son is sensing is your stress and anxiety over his feelings. If you are "walking on eggshells" around him b/c you are trying to get him to be happy about the new baby, he can sense that anxiety. He is entirely too young to understand what's going on - but he really doesn't even need to at this point. 8 months is a LONG time for him to wait to see this "baby" you're talking to him about. If you keep talking to him about it now, it'll just make the waiting period even longer and more stressful to him.

While you may think that you are trying to help him be happy about the baby, all you may be doing is harboring hate for the baby. If you start now, and talk w/ him about the baby "this" and the baby "that" and "this is for the baby" for 8 months, he is going to be very resentful of the baby.

Just go along your normal life, keep his schedule the same, and when you start really, really showing, briefly talk w/ him about why. Keep every conversation brief. Don't tell him more than he needs to know, b/c he doesn't need to absorb it all. If he asks a question, give him the short answer, only explaining more if he continues to ask.

Don't try to change his feelings also. For example, if 7 months from now he says, "I dont' want you to have a baby, I hate the baby" -- DON'T get angry at him, that will only make him hate the baby more. Just tell him things like "I'm sorry you feel that way" or whatever, don't discount his feelings, understand he is just a toddler and doesn't understand what he is saying.

As you get much further along, include him in buying baby things, but don't make that the focus of each of your outings. And be sure to get him a few little new things here and there also, wether it's a toy or playtime at McDonalds.

I'm sure it's stressful, but don't stress around your son, it won't do any good anyhow. He's got 8 months to mature himself and learn to talk and to understand the situation. He probably does not know what is going on right now at all other than Mommy and Daddy are upset so he is too. He is at an age where he lacks verbal communication, so he is really picking up on ya'lls anxiety over his feelings. just let it go, and it will be fine :)

Good Luck, God Bless and Congrats!

Hi There...

I cannot believe some of the comments people have made here! Please do not worry about your son "hating" the baby! My goodness!

The one thing that is correct is that he is heading into the terrible twos. They start around 15 months old and last until they are around 4! (Exciting, huh?) Your son is testing his limits with you, not reacting to the news of the new baby. He really is too young to understand the concept of another baby.

When we got pregnant with our 2nd child, we just told our daughter that SHE was getting a new brother or sister. How exciting for her!! Everything we said was in reference to HER new sibling. When we found out the sex of the baby we didn't say that we were going to have a boy... we said that our daughter was going to have a little brother. She helped pick out the baby things we needed ("What color onesies do you think your new baby brother would like?)

Now that he's here, our daughter gets a little jealous of all the attention he gets from people who once had eyes only for her. And, she is learning little by little that she has to share her toys and she has to be sweet and gentle to her baby brother because he is only a baby and needs our help. We also tell her that he is the only brother that she is ever going to have and that he is going to love her forever like no one else ever will. And you know what?....She doesn't call him her little brother... She calls him "MY BABY" and she loves him to death!

Good luck and enjoy your little ones!

M. your son has no clue that a baby is on the way and his actions have nothing to do with it. I have a 22 month old son and right around 15 months is when I saw him go through the exact change your son is currently going through, my son would hit me & bite me too. Honestly, when I saw the change in my son at first, I started to take it personally too. Then I started reading, books, magazines, internet anything I could to understand what was going on with his age group and what I learned was he was behaving exactly like most 15 month olds.
I really had to start disciplining these actions and I had to stay strong and stick to my guns and I'll tell you what the more I stuck to my guns (as hard as it might be) the bad behavior made a quick turn around for the better and he even became more loving and happier. I would suggest tapping into some resources concerning the subject, subscribe to Parenting magazine, I always learn something new with every issue or purchase some "toddler" books, Toddler 411 is a great book and I read my husband's book "Fathering your Toddler", they both have great information and I know there are plenty of other great books out there that I don't know about. Remember this is just a passing stage and although it may not seem like it at times, your son loves you very much.

My children are close like yours. When I became pregnant with my second child....I always refered to it as WE are pregnant. WE are having a baby. I went and got my son a boy cabbage patch doll. WE then started practicing with the "baby". He would change the dolls diapers...give a bottle...burp, ect. When his sister did arrive...Charles got to show everyone how much he knew. Everyone made sure to praise him for even the smallest of things. He would show off OUR new baby.
My children are now 15yrs old and almost 13yrs old. My son is and always has been very protective of his sister. Since she has some special needs...I feel confortable that he will always be there for her.
As for the doll...My husband HATED the idea of OUR BOY having a doll. As soon as his sister came...Charles gave the doll to his sister and started treating her like the doll. My son is now a very BOY teenage boy. And having a doll never affected him...Just as long as his friends never find out. Cabbage patch dolls come in both genders and you can buy closes to practice changing. It doesn't came across as a girly doll.
Hope this helps...R.

P.S. As for son not knowing what is going on...He may not...but MOST children will pick up on thier Mom's "vibes". They may not know what is going on but they do know that something has changed. Especially if you and your son are as close as we were. You feel each others emotions. I would not just dimiss this a "terrible twos". Just help him adjust to the new changes in you. Change can be scary for adults...imagine what it is like when you do not understand.