So Tired - Arlington,MA

First problem:

IT IS a good idea to feed babies when they're hungry. That's not caving. That's being a good mom.

It is the very RARE baby whose metabolism is so slow that they don't need to eat at night. Most do (1-3x) until they're about 1. ((I had a fast grower who needed to eat during growth spurts until 3yo.

Its sounds like your daughter may have had the super sluggish metabolism (sigh. We girls get the short end of THAT stick more often than not!), but your son sounds like a normal baby.

Now... You CAN break his spirit so that he knows his needs will not be met, no matter what... But that's generally not recommended (also part of why baby wise books are taught in nursing, med, psych, and early childhood education ... So that practitioners can educate their patients & clients on why to never use those methods. Ugh. That book has caused so many deaths, and so many more failure to thrive, brain damage, organ damage etc. But I digress. You're not using those methods, yay!!! So back on target.)

Feed him.

If you're not a single mom (or arent married to soneone who is deployed or on shift at night... or an utter arse), you can alternate who takes the 2am feeding. Really. Fussing from 2am or 3am unt 4am has got to be exhausting for everyone involved.

Meanwhile, a feed/change/and crash takes what? Less than 1-2 hours, probably.

If you're on your own, you'll sleep better.
If you're not on your own, both you and hubby can get 3 good nights of sleep. In a row or alternating, whatever works.

EXPECT increased wakings starving o' the hunger @
- 3mo
- 6mo
- 9mo
- any time they've been sick

Typically bulking up for a growth spurt lasts 2-4 weeks.
Typically replacing lost growth from illness takes 1-2 weeks.

Each is usually 1 extra feeding at night, and 2-3 in the daytime.

Its temporary. And then they go back to their sleep pattern before they need to grow, or have gotten ill.

You've got a double whammy, in that he's dead on track for a growth spurt, AND was recently sick.

Withholding food is just going to make everything take longer, and everyone exhausted.

Again. Its not caving to feed a hungry baby.

Its the right thing to do. :)

He is only 6 months old!! It's almost certain he NEEDS food, if he's waking up. He is still so little. I realize you want more sleep, but he is a small infant. This is part of it. He needs to eat. On top of that, 6 months is a HUGE milestone time. They typically hit a growth spurt, are rolling, [possible beginning to teeth, and preparing to crawl if they aren't. All of this seriously messes with their bodies, and rhythms. This is a phase, and one that will pass quickly. He is so little, he does not know how to be spoiled, or train you!!

Hungry babies get fed. Period.

How long before he goes to bed does he eat? When my kids were that age we usually gave them a nice bowl of oatmeal mixed with formula (or breast milk) plus a bottle and put them to bed like that. It really helped. If he's six months he should be eating solids by now. I personally liked the oatmeal better than the rice cereal, but either would work.

So when you say he's on a good schedule what does that mean? I've found, per my pediatrician's advice, that if you feed kids every 3 hours during the day they will sleep all night. It worked for both my kids. Even if they were napping, I woke them up and I tried to schedule a nap around the eating times. It might vary slightly from day to day depending upon exactly when he wakes up, etc., but for the most part, we had a pretty solid schedule and my kids were sleeping through the night (for really reals) by 3-4 months, which to us meant we weren't getting up before 6am to feed anybody.

Sharing a room with big sis doesn't sound like a terrible idea either. Good luck!

sorry, but he's too young still, if he needs to eat 2x a night, then he does. I have a feeling that he is waking you up more than you think, and you would be better off to just get up and feed him when he wakes around 4ish. My guy didn't stop eating 2 or 3 times a night until he was almost a year. If he is having a growth spurt, he is going to need it a lot. Remember, their tummies are small, and going from 11-6 or 7 is just too long. He can't keep that much nutrition in him yet. Sorry. But, I know from my own experiences, that if one of you gets up and feeds him, you will all get more rest and feel better. You don't need to put him in another room, I think it would limit your life too much with him in the living room. Maybe the laundry room, or a big closet? I have seen apartments with closets big enought to be bedrooms. I know we used the master bath for a little while to give us separation....

Would you be willing to give a shot to the kids sharing a room? In all likelihood, she can hear him from your room anyway and is used to it by this point and sleeping though the noise, unlike Mom, who is biologically programmed to respond to the noise. :) If it's possible (space wise) and you're willing, I'd seriously consider trying that out this weekend to see how it goes. I moved my younger daughter into my older one's room at 3 months and the older one has NEVER woken up from the baby's crying. The baby is now 18 months and neither one has ever woken the other up (unless it was close to normal wake up time anyway).

ETA: There is 2 yrs 4 months between my kids, so older one was not even 3 yet when baby moved in.

Who said it's not a good idea to feed a hungry baby?

I agree with LoveTeachingMath! Put him in your daughters room usually they can learn to sleep through more than we can. My boys have learned to sleep through about anything. We have sugar gliders and they are in their room. At night is when they are active and talk but the boys don't even notice it one but and they will wake me up for the other room even sometimes.

I know some people like to sleep train early. Talk to your ped. as you have many growth spurts ahead, you will have poor sleep for a while.

My son was in our room until 15 months.

My husband and I work all shifts, (day , night, and grave, it changes every week) so yes we were tired. To catch up on rest, my husband and I would agree in advance who would take the first half of the night and who would take the second to be on baby duty. Mind you, I nursed but sometimes he would eat a pumped bottle, or sometimes it was time to wean him and let him CIO. If I needed to catch up on sleep, hubby would be "on" for 1/2 the night and I would put in earplugs and sleep in another room.

If it was time for weaning, the method we used was what we called "Patting 'em down". For several nights, I would decreases the amount of nursing time for whatever feed we thought our son was ready to give up. After that, Daddy would take over for that feeding time slot and soothe, rock and pat our son through the protest cries until he fell back asleep. If he could be soothed, then he was ready to give up that feed. I think it would take about 3-5 nights for our son to make the adjustment.

It was trial and error. We took guidance from the book "Baby 411". We didn't expect our son to sleep through the night until 10 months, though.

I would drop the dream feed, and only feed him when he wakes up hungry. You are already getting up once with him anyway, so does it matter if it is 2 or 4? I would worry that by feeding him at 11 you are training his little body to eat a few hours after he goes to sleep. I agree with the others that 6 months is really young and he likely needs to eat when he gets up. Just keep the interaction to a minimum so he doesn't think it's play time! Good luck-it will pass! :)