Okay so this is very embarrasing, but I want to know what I can do. I went to my OB and seriously no help. I've never been a very sexual person, for this I refer I don't care much about having sex all the time, don't know why I just don't feel like it. After the birth of my first son, I was a little bit more interested in having sex than now, but after my 2nd son almost 2 years ago, I had about 3 or 4 months that I did had the need to have sexual relationships w/my husband. But now, I really don't feel like it AT ALL!! I feel bad for my husband, but even if I try I really have no need to do it. Sometimes 2 months or more passes before I even try again. I just think it's not normal. And yes I might feel tired and w/2 kids and work, maybe, but still it shouldn't be a reason, cause my life is not that hectic anyways. What can I do? I feel like there is something wrong w/me? but I went to see my OB and she basically told me that there is nothing they can do, it's something I have to give it up sometimes....yep, it made me feel worst then.
But where can I go to get help? what can I do? is this normal that I have no need to have sex? not wanting it for sooooo long?
Help me please!!! Tell me that i'm not crazy! thank you ladies!
Ladies...THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU! I definetly don't feel alone anymore. I'm going to go and check my hormones level and also my thyroid. I do come from a family that has problems w/their thyroid. Last time I checked it I was fine, but I never know. I did wanted to tell you, my husband does know and understand what I'm going thru but as a man he has his needs, and he does try all the time, but I always say no, which I know it bothers him, but he still understands.
So, again thank you, I appreciate it so much...I do feel a little better now! Have a good day!
Are you by any chance on a hormonal birth control like the pill or an IUD? Those can sometimes lead to a lack of sex drive. I've heard many stories of women on hormonal birth control with no interest in sex, who then go off that particular form of birth control, and their sex drive comes back. Just a thought!
LOL!!! You are NOT crazy, and you are not alone. You are in a rut!
Many moms feel like this. For me, its the feeling of 'I just got to lay down and sleep, and you want what?'
For many women, sex is a 2 part deal - mind and body. Get the mind going and the body will follow. If the mind is distracted or tired, the body will be too. Start with the little things.
- A note to hubby.
- A warm bath by candlelight for you.
- A good book or movie. Characters have an attraction that builds.- Nicholas Sparks, Deborah Smith, Fern Michaels, Nora Roberts, Luann Rice.
M.
Are you on birth control pills? Because they can definitely lower your sex drive. Also, is your husband happy with your sex life? Because I just read yesterday that a low sex drive is not a problem if both partners are satisfied with the frequency of sex. I am not sure why your doctor told you there is nothing they can do; there's hormone replacement or supplements (usually low sex drive is related to low testosterone or low androgen), they could take you off birth control, there must be some natural/herbal remedies you can try! Good luck!
A few years back, I went to a gastro doc for stomach pain. He was questioning me with what I thought at the time was bizarre questions. For example, "Have you lost intrest in sex?, Are you tired even if you get plenty of sleep at night?, Do you have any stress?, Do you get exercise, go outdoors daily, and have friends that you socialize with weekly or daily?" What he was suggesting was that I might have had anxiety/depression that was causing my peptic ulcer and acid reflux. He wanted to prescribe Xanax. I took the Rx, but didn't fill it. I put my mind over matter. I explained things to my hubby and he became much more helpful around the house (atleast alleviating some of my duties) and would do weekend morning activites with the kids before he had to go to work, so I could sleep late. It helped for a while. But, I feel it is hormonal. Ask for blood test of your hormones. Best of luck!!!
You are absolutely not crazy or alone. The birth of my daughter was very traumatic and even 3 years later I'd rather not have sex. I would suggest getting a referral to a "sex therapist" who may me able to shed some light on why you feel this way and some things that may get you back into the mood. I would also suggest going to your regular doctor and having some blood work done. It may be something as simple as a thyroid problem or a hormonal imbalance.
Um... so I'm sure this is TMI, but I'm kinda there with you. It's hard when you are tired from work, baby, etc. I found out recenlty how sad this makes my husband, so I'm trying to be more into it for him. THe less we do it, the less I want to and vice versa. I'm sorry I'm no help, but you're not alone!
I dont have any answers for you but wanted you to know you are not alone. I am the same way after my second child who is now 7 months. I am interested to see what responses you get.
Totally sounds hormonal to me. I would go to and endocrinologist and get checked out. If you are on the pill, that could be it. The pill KILLED my sex drive, I am a different woman off it. Could also be your eating habits. I notice that when I eat well, get lots of good lean protein and a healthy balance of veggies and fruit and take my vitamins, I have such a different outlook on life, it dramatically affects my mood!! Amazing what small things can do to help. But if none of that applies I would see about getting those hormone levels checked and ditch that OB. There are always things to try when we have a problem I have never heard of an OB who took such an attitude. Good luck and I hope you are back in the sheets soon and lovin' it :)
You are not alone. I actually used to be SUPER into having sex with my husband... then we had 3 children in 4 years and now... not so much :)
I have absolutely no desire, I still love my hubby, and have found that if I can actually muster the interest we can have pretty good sex... but then I'm good for a LONG time after that. We've talked about it and he understands - 3 kids under 5 take a lot out of a mom... plus I'm still nursing the littlest...
You are not crazy. Try to get reconnected with your hubby with a date, read a book together for discussion points that don't include the kids... have a glass of wine.. and sometimes you will just have to give it up sometimes. :)
J.
You are not alone. My daughter is 2 & I have NO interest at all. Sadly, I never have though..it is ruining our relationship.
Good luck hun. I know that wasnt helpful, but just so you know you arent alone.
Many people & Dr's say progesterone cream helps, but I can't ever remember to use it. Sad, because I actually help teach a class on womens health & nutrition & focus on the benefits of it!
If you are in Phx, feel free to contact me & I'll let you know when the next free class is. A wonderful Dr from Globe drives 3 hrs each way to teach it for free, monthly.
S.
____@____.com
A lot of women go through this. Check out...
http://www.momversation.com/episodes/sex-after-baby
It is almost always hormonal and the fact that you are tired and your focus is on your kids...not on intimacy with your husband.
Right there with you! My daughter is 14 months old and I have no interest in sex with my husband...I feel bad for him, but with the stress in my life and all the responsabilities on my back, I just have no interest. Looking forward to all the posts...hope we all cam get some good tips!
Look your not alone. I have went through this before just take a deep breath, lay there and act like its the best you ever had. It will end really fast and then off to sleep you can go. Sike just joking. But I really did go through this and it was because I was dealing with deep depression. I didnt want my boyfriend to feel like I was uninterested in him because that wasnt the case so I started taking some sex enhancement vitamins and they helped a lot. He enjoyed it.
This is more common than u think.I for example can go months on end without having sex this has been for 4 yrs now.Sex a few times a yr is it & even then I feel the dreaded need to give it up I feel that it is a chore I don't want another freakin chore on my to do list.There isn't anything that can be done about it I went to my OB & primary care drs & there isn't anything wrong with me except for depression but that can definenatly put a damper on things.I have 3 kiddos & don't want another but refuse to go on BC do prevent it with condoms when he agrees to use 1.Your not crazy this happens to us woman & age has nothing to do with it
Make sure you get your thyroid and hormone levels checked. If everything is fine and the problem is not due to the relationship itself, you might want to try a product called Excite. It's actually available at Walmart near the OTC birth control etc. I was embarassed to try it but it seems to work - has some sort of herbs in it. It's probably worth a try for you at this point. I think having kids really wreaks havoc on your hormones. Good Luck!
Hey there, so your NOT crazy at all!! im going thought the same thing. And i thought i was the only one!!! only my husband and i have not had sex since i was about 12 weeks pregnant, and my son is now 6 months!! any suppestions for me!! Im in the same boat.. but i guess all you can do is talk to your husband about it and make sure he doesnt think its him. I have talked to my husband and he doesnt seem to mind. good luck!
Your doc could prescribe a testosterone cream. Didn't work for me and I just felt like it was a mess, but maybe it would work for you. Sorry, I don't have any answers, but you are not alone and I don't think you are crazy either.
K. Z.
I'm over it myself. I feel like all day I "meet needs"; diapers, food, entertaining, cleaning- it's exhausting. Then when it's time to go to bed, I'm done! I don't want to meet needs when I clock out. I want to veg in bed and read until I fall asleep. it sounds horrible, but it is what it is.
