Sneaking Around !

It sounds like everything needs to be under a lock and key.

If there is nothing on things that will interest him maybe he will begin to forget about climbing.

I use to climb and now am afraid of even being on a chair standing up.

Good luck with him.

Just giving you some sympathy here. I have 2 boys and 2 girls. I'm almost 43 and my daughter is 14 months. You'd think I'd B. prepared but I have never had a child like this! I never knew what it was like to have a sneaky, climbing, bolt-er. I think a big part of it is their personality - she was born that way; because my other 3 Never did some of the stuff my 14 month old does.

Best of luck to you and remember, if you have another one, he/she will probably much easier to handle.

I'm not sure I have advice, but this sounds like my grandson when he was that age. No matter what we did he was constantly into everything. Nobody believes that you're correcting them because they're always doing something. When he started school he was diagnosed with ADHD. He is now 6 1/2 & medicated & doing great! I was always against medicating kids, but this was so necessary for him. It helps him focus. He was failing without the medication. Now his grades are very good The doctors have also suggested a trampoline for his excess energy. Maybe this would help. A small one would work indoors for the winter. Lots of prayer support helps too.

My boys were like this and one in particular is still doing it at 15. The difference now is that instead of getting into things, he climbs just to climb and tinkers with things just to see what he can fix. If you are in the position to do so, get him ropes to be made into rope climbing walls and give him a set of tools and some old things like VCRs, sweepers etc. to take apart and put back together. Sure, they may not end up back together, but it will occupy his mind and his hands. Infinite blessings!

It is my belief that your 4 yr old needs some positive attention. And he also needs you to be more interactive with him. Because he is so smart, he needs to have lots of books and activity to keep him busy in a positive way. Where are you when he is sneaking around? You cannot allow this young man to be alone for one second to do any sneaking. Just be there in person for him all the time. Play with him, read to him, go on walks with him, take him to the Zoo, Museum, the playground, do things with him. I don't believe any child sneaks, they just entertain themselves and therefore parents need to be involved.

Sneaky... what a label. Take him for long walks.
Find a gym class where he can climb and tumble around.
How else do we learn? 49? oop long walks will be good for you too....
Find some climbable trees. j

Hello J.,

I too had a child like this, it was my daughter Jennifer! I agree with most of the other advice that was given to you already. Most children need to learn to occupy and entertain themselves. These children on the other hand, need a little extra help. My daughter was forever trying to get into things, and was very very sneaky lol. My own father used to laugh about how sneaky she was to get out of your presence while you were talking with another adult.
I had a hard time hiding anything from Jennifer that I did not want her to find or get into. Christmas time was horrid, trying to hide all her gifts lol. If there was a hiding spot, Jennifer found it!
My best advice is to keep him VERY busy, so busy that he doesn't have time to think about getting into something. It can become a dangerous situation if he gets into something that could hurt him. Even when Jennifer started school, I gave the teacher a book of puzzles for her. She is very intelligent and would finish her work early, then get bored, and THATS where it all started. Jennifer just turned 17 years old on the 17th of this month. I am happy to say she is doing wonderful and is still very intelligent!
Keep medicines of ANY kind under lock and key around him, this type of child WILL get into anything! Locks on cabinets and anything else that he can really get hurt on. Its like baby proofing your house but much more!

Good Luck.. Take a deep breath!
T.

Lots of good advice here but unfortunately you're still going to have to keep a pretty much constant eye on this little guy. And yes, he is "sneaking" as well as curious. Kids are pretty smart little creatures & they figure out real soon how far they can push you...LOL. He sounds just like my two grandsons, one of which just turned 3 & does the same thing. My daughter & I both have tried EVERYTHING mentioned here & still he will sneak...YES SNEAK...into another room at every opportunity to climb or get into things he knows he shouldn't. Nothing has worked. His brother was diagnosed ADHD & ODD afew years ago & I see this one being worst than him. They have a 4 year old sister who is not like this (thank goodness) so no problems with her. So I really have no good advice for you, other than keep trying & also try any of the suggestions on this board. He is just at that age now where all this climbing is fun & he'll try it every chance he gets. You can tell them untill you're blue in the face that this is dangerous for him & he still won't REALLY grasp it. Same as telling a teenager that driving fast can cause a wreck & possibly be fatal to them. Some will get it & some will not. Just be firm with him & keep your eye on him at all times & he will grow out of this climbing thing after awhile. And be patient. Easier said than done, but it does help.
Good luck & hang in there.

My son (now almost 14) did a lot of the same things, mostly the climbing up on things to get at stuff on top of the fridge or in cabinets. I put him into a gymnastics class for toddlers. I figured he had the agility to do the stuff he may as well put it to good use. He is now a junior olympic level competitive gymnast!

I can't really help you out in what to do with your son, but on a lighter note, reading your request was comical! Just the way you put it was so funny calling him little houdini. Classic. Some little boys are just incredibly rambuncious and curious and into EVERYTHING! Just keep him safe is the best you can do at this point. and Pray hard.

J., you don't say where and how you do the time out. If
he's as smart as you say, then he knows right from wrong. I
would put him in his room alone. No TV, no conversation from
you. Start with 4 minutes, when time is up, explain that you
will NOT have this any more. Make your voice stern, look him
in the eye and inform him that next time it will be longer.
Do not argue or remind him. If you even THINK he's on the verge of doing it again. Kneel down so you're face to face.
Remind him sternly what will happen. If he disreguards this,
make the next time longer. Do NOT vary this routine until
he decides that you're the parent and mean what you say.
This works if you work it. It's time to get a grip.

I would suggest door knob covers for the rooms he doesn't need to be in. They look like baseballs and slip on over the door knob. We had them all over the house. I had a sneaky one too.lol. When he was a year old, he would lift up the vents that weren't screwed to the floor and hide his sippys in them. Thank goodness it was summer when this was going on.

As far as the fish food, I would teach him how to feed the fish. Pick a small container, enough for one feeding, fill it once a day, then let him feed the fish. I would put the full container somewhere like above the stove or in a room with a cover on the doorknob. :) It worked for us. He loves to feed the fishes too.

Our son is also one that fights discipline. He just likes to be part of the big people world. For me, the more I let my son help with, the less he tries to do things behind my back. This also keeps him in my sight easier.
Hope this helps. Good Luck. :)

If he really is that smart, why not let him be involved in using those things for what they are supposed to be. For instance, let him help feed the fish the proper amount so he'll understand and can feel included. Maybe he thinks he's being punished and that's why he wants to know what they are for. Then, you can put them down where he can get them and he can maybe start taking on more responsibilities and be less curious...thus, less likely to climb!

sounds like he needs some extra challenges! He may be "bored". Try adding some "safe" but challenging activities for him - where he can get at them. Kids always want what they can't have, and if everything is off limits except the "boring" stuff, he will find a way to get something that is interesting. If he is above average intelligence, he may be ready for activities and toys that are above his age level. Try checking websites for new activities - Family Fun is one that comes to mind. One other suggestion - rotate the toys he does have. If everything is out, it can get boring quickly. Put away one or two of the "favorites" and bring them out again in two weeks - they will seem new again. Good luck!

Hi I'm a mom of four boys,I'm also a nurse or 16 years. Your son seems like a typical 3/4 year old to me. My advice don't sweat the small stuff. Keep any medication and cleaners any thing poisonous under lock and key. My boys have all fallen down our stairs no broken bones, two have burned theirselfs, two have had to have stiches for cuts. Their curious minds and inquisitve nature may sometimes cause pain but thats how boys learn cause and effect. I myself get exasperated at times and wonder if I'm doing right. Just love, instruction, and discipline.He will do fine because he has a great mom who loves him.

This is my almost 4 year old to a T! I am like you sometimes I just do not know how she climbs these things in my home. We have been dealing with this for a few months now, but it has seemed to start to phase out. Not near as much as I would ike it to. I had to giggle when I read the lotion thing my daughter has done the same thing. I know that we keep are bath rooms locked with a hook locked most of the time but other then that we have just took things away from her that she loves. We also make her sit on the couch for 3 min when she gets caught up high. I think what help my daught realize she should not climb certain things and give mom a heart attack was when she climb her sisters dresser. Well she had angels watching over her that day because the dresser with the tv on top of it fell over on with her on it. It missed her head by a inch. We have also bolted all dressers and book cases to the wall with L brackets. She still climbs and jumps off of things as well as sneaking things like lotion, soap, make-up and laundry soap. This is still a work in progress in our home. I feel for you and I hope he grows out of it really soon!

He sounds wonderful and so do you! I'm a preschool teacher. From the outside lookin gin this one was easy. He neeeds more gross motor opportunities! I hear stories similar to yours amny times a year. Climbing uses all of your big muscles and it's fun. He really has a need to do this. Think about some inside activities while it's stilll cold out that he can participate in. The Y has great programs and great motor gyms, the malls, make sure it's not just walking. It' sa developmental stage that he needs time in.
Happy Activities!
S.

My son has always been the "helper" in the family. It makes our task take a little longer in the beginning, but now he knows the routines for almost everything so it's about the same amount of time if not shorter (he's almost 5). He can feed the fish as long as he ask to feed the fish. If he does it without asking he doesn't get to feed the fish the next day. He helps cook dinner--really he has learned how to flip burgers on the grill safely and help get the veggies into the pot onto the stove. All with someone right at his side. He does laundry with min. help. He can't reach the detergent but we lift him up to it so he can put it in the washer and dryer. He does the vaccuming and has responsibility of cleaning up his toys or they go away. With being an only child of a single mom, and with grandparents a lot if he's not in school, he gets a LOT of one on one attention.
That being said, if I'm on my computer too long and it's just the two of us here...he still feeds the fish way too much, will change his clothes 3 times and I will be finding messes all day long. As long as he has interaction he's fine, when you stop for too long he gets into stuff. He is getting MUCH better in the last 4 months. So there is light...:) They are exploring their world and learning so much! (At the cost of mom's sanity!)
I've worked in a hospital for the last 4 years and at one point in time I explained how the hosptial is for sick kids and kids who don't listen to mommy and end up getting hurt (he is also very bright). I've also used the band-aid trick...except ours is a little different...He HATES band-aids. They are "worse than shots" as he says. So I remind him that oochies get bandaids. We have one rule that we are always saying (he even reminds me some days lol) "Think before you do" I know their brains haven't developed to the point that they can realize that, but his is starting too. Making this rule work better and better each day.

My background: I am a mom of one 17 y.o. daughter and have spent my adulthood working with both adults and children with disabilities. So my first thought is, Thank God your child has the ability to walk and climb and that he is curious about his world vs. being autistic...

Your son does sound like a very active, inquisitive child which are good things as I'm sure you know. And its great that you recognize how smart he is. It saddens me though that you are spanking him when he is just being curious and exploring his world. I know it is hard when he is making messes, or maybe endangering himself, but he is just a little guy who is curious. Someday his curiosity will serve him well (he might become a scientist or explorer) unless you teach him that being curious, trying to make sense out of his world is a bad thing.

Have you tried asking him why he climbs stuff that shouldn't be climbed, even after you've tried to teach him not to? You didn't say too much about his verbal abilities.
Does he get much opportunity to do appropriate climbing, i.e. at a playground, in a small tree, etc? Or other physical activities where he would use his leg/arm muscles, i.e. running, jumping, swimming, using a trike or little bike with training wheels (he may be too young for that)? Do the two of you get out much to run errands or just to explore the town you live in? I'm thinking of our local county court house that has lots of steps inside and out that might fill your sons need for climbing....

Could he have his own 1-2 fish in a little fish bowl to take care of and then he can find out what happens if you feed fish too much?
Have you asked his pre-school teachers if they have similar problems with him at school? Even if they say no, they might be able to offer you some good advice for at home since they know him.
Do you have any large size Lego kind of toys to play with where he could build, using his fine motor (hands) muscles?
One thing I've learned from parenting is that every age our children go through has its good parts and hard parts. Just like being an older parent has its good parts and hard parts. Is he your one and only child?

I don't mean to come off as preachy. Being a teacher, I am a big children's advocate. I'd be curious to hear how it goes if you try some new and different things with your son! Good-luck!

J.,

This sounds like the same problem my brother had with his very intelligent son Zachary at a similar age. They live in Texas. I remember the REAL issue being safety. What if the whole cabinet fell on top of the monkey boy while he chimbed?? My brother did a lot of securing furniture to the studs in the walls, knowing no matter how much you have your eye on the child, there will still be times the monkey gets past you. Or the TV crash down on his sweet, too smart of a brain. The concerns and the aggrivations I can see you must be going through. I know my brother ever put gates that couldn't be opened by the child....I don't mean one gate...but a gate on a lower part, then one ABOVE that one....lol...Or here's an idea....for your room....hang some bells that will make noise when he attempts going into that room....Or another idea...I was at CVS, in the isle with car stuff, telephone wiring and "as seen on TV" stuff...and I saw a gadget that goes on the door handle, when it it messed with ever so slightly (handle turned the tiniest bit), an alarm goes off. Maybe you can talk with him about all the extra stuff you are going to have to do to ensure his safety and your sanity...and the money spent does NOT make you happy either...but that you will do whatever you have to to keep him out of your things and into his own. When these alarms go off, and you bust him in the act...instead of askingyou, tehn he will have a mandatory time out or something that might be his favorite taken away for awhile. Follow through. Obvioulsy spankings do not work. Follow Super Nanny's ideas. Look her up or watch an episode. She is very GOOD!! Tell him you will lower things that he has proven he can be trusted with....example...DVD and VHS tapes...after a lesson if needed. Books that he is good with, crafts, as long as keep the art on the paper provided, and not an "artist' on the walls." Buy a lock door (with a couple of keys) for a room or two (you can even get them to be the same key...codes are on the back to get them to match- I bought several at Lowes for about 8-10 dollars a piece, and that is where his fishes food will go, change -money- will go (My ex is a ped GI surgeon, and he says that the surgery that he preforms the most is a child swallowing a penny. It blocks important passagways and HAS to be removed, the darn PENNY!)....all things that he has abused and things you tell him why they are bad for him to handle.

He will continue to be a monkey, but with locks, furniture safety equiptment, alarms on a door (about 20 bucks) or even a bundle of bells hanging on a backside of a door- up high, will at least give you a heads up before you find him hanging from a chandelier!! While he is in this stage, get him into a class where they allow them to rock climb. There are so many places that have it available here in Indy, maybe, if y ou are far, you can look it up. It is very secure and guided climbing of a rock wall. It may fill the desire for him...tell him to keep the monkey at his rock ckimbing class, and your baby boy can be at home with you. And that you will be most happy to retreive what is high...while you are around....if it is high...that there is probably a reason for that!! lol...

One more thing....after a year or 2...It will pass!! Spiderman will get deep into another frightening and impossible stage that keeps you YOUNG!!

Good luck and God Bless!!

Hi J.,

I really don't have a solution to keep your son from doing what he's doing, but I do want to suggest that you anchor your furniture to the wall to make sure it doesn't fall on top of him and hurt him when he starts claiming it. That can be very dangerous.

Good luck!

I pray that God will give you wisdom and understanding. I pray for your son to be safe as he takes his adventures and that your things will not be destroyed in the process.
I like how you engage him. I think you just need to keep up the good work.