Sleepover Question - Brentwood,TN

Whenever my sons have sleepovers, I tell the parents to pick them up (I do not take them home) between 10:00 and 11:00 am. I think once every three weeks is a lot! We only have them about 5-6 times a year - but when we do, there are about 6 boys in the house.

I hate sleepovers...I'm always wiped out, too. I have the parent pick up around 11 am. My 11 1/2 yr old doesn't really do them, my youngest is too young, so it's only my 9 yr old who does it with his best friend and we alternate homes. It ends up being 1-2 times a month. I'm weary about them, anyway because I feel like I don't really know the families that well. One parent may be normal but the other may be completely dysfunctional or depressed or whatever. I'm also very weary re older sibs and if I don't really know the family we don't allow them. I say keep them to a minimum and specify an earlier pick-up time.

Just do what you can handle.
Mine usually had someone sleep over EVERY wknd. I didnt go out of my way to make it a special deal tho. Maybe you are trying too hard in the entertainment department. If we had an extra kid Friday night they just did what we were going to normally do and ate what we were going to normally eat. And I would have the mom come get the kid usually BEFORE lunch time on Saturday so life could get back to normal.

My oldest has her best friend sleep over at our house maybe 3 times a year. I cannot imagine having someone else's kid in my house nearly as many times as you have. No wonder you are exhausted.

We've had good success with sleepovers so far - my son is same age as yours. We do lights out at 10:30 although the boys usually stay up talking quietly until 11:30. The earlier bedtime seems to help everyone's mood the next day. We also set the pick up time usually around 11:00am. That way our whole day isnt blown and we all have a chance to get some rest if we want it.

We dont do nearly as many sleepovers as you do - max is one every 2 or 3 months.

I have 2 daughters (18 months apart, now ages 14 and 15). They started having sleepovers around age 8, when it was just once a month, and they've increased over the years. It seems like someone is sleeping over about every 2 or 3 weeks. When it's just one friend, it's no big deal. I just need to remind them when it's time for lights out and to quiet down.

About every other month, we may have 2 or more (sometimes up to 6 guests + my two). Those tend to be the late ones.

To avoid being wiped out, a few things I try...
- it's my girls having their guest, they need to help clean house and with some food
- I usually have them come over after dinner the night before, so I dont' need to worry about a meal, just snacks and breakfast
- I usually have the guest go home at 10 or 11 the next morning

I'd say make some compromises. If you want to keep the sleepovers at once every 3 weeks that's fine, but how about having a child over and having their parents pick them up at 10pm, just at bedtime one night of the weekend. Be honest with your son and tell him it is about getting rest.

In regard to your chronic fatigue, are you on a good nutrition and vitamin program that you are happy with? I used to need a nap every day (and be thinking about it and looking forward to it until I actually got the chance) until I made a few changes. Since I made some changed it would be extremely rare to nap during the day.

I have an 8 year old and we have never had a sleepover. We have playdates that last until after dinner on non-school evenings, but then the kids go home around 7:30 or 8pm.
Thinking about my friends, they don't have sleepovers either.
I guess I enjoy my sleep too much, and our time in the evenings to wind down as a family to give it up for sleepovers.
R.

My daughter is 8 and she probably has someone spend the night about once or twice per month. I always have the kid go home before lunch time the next day. Lately I've just "let them be" when they have a sleepover and that has took the stress down. At first I was always planning stuff. And that was just too much for an "normal" sleepover. (Not like it was for a party). But like you, I am always tired too because they stay up soooo late. Last time I told them lights out by 1am! And they wanted to stay up later.

My son is almost 8 and we've had kids stay twice--ever.
I think whatever feels right to YOU is YOUR right number!

i say once a month if more then one kid but twice a month if its just one kid

Zero, for the reasons you said.

We allowed sleepovers but only on the weekend... never a school night.
They could play games but no computer after I went to bed... I didn't mind them staying up because I'm a light sleeper and always checked on them throughout the night anyway. I always preferred, and still do, that the friends come here instead of dd going there.

I also had a rule... they had to clean the mess when the fun was over.
That rule was apparently a good one because my daughter wouldn't let her friends tear the house up too badly because she knew she had to clean it up :)

You mention that your son is an only child and that he loves having his friends stay over. He may need / crave that nighttime companionship more than a child with a sibling or siblings. Mom and dad just aren't the same as friends when it's not a school night!!! For this reason, I'd keep them frequent but scale way back. The other children's parents can either drop off and / or pick up and you can keep the food simple. They eat what you eat and need to follow the rules about bedtime. This way you can still have your much deserved rest and your son can still have his quality time with his friends.

Goodness, you are generous. I could not imagine having that many per month. If that is your regular routine, I would try to limit to one a month. Then, I would tell the parent that they can come over around 4:00 but please pick them up by 10am. I have never heard of sleepovers staying late the next day. Also, when my son had his 'one and only' sleepover thus far, I told them it was time to go to bed at 10pm. I turned off everything and told them goodnight. His regular bedtime is 8:00 so I thought this was more than generous and he did too. The next morning they were to get up and play games, talk, etc until I got up. When I got up, I made breakfast. I don't like being woken up first thing and my kids have been trained not to wake me. maybe you can lay down some new rules if he wants to continue all of these sleepovers. If they want to come over and play all afternoon, maybe they eat dinner and then go home. an 'almost sleepover'. I think staying the night for dinner then breakfast the next day is plenty! You are feeding these children a lot of meals....I say parent picks up by 10am-11am at the latest. BEFORE lunch the next day. Good luck!
ps/ growing up I never went or had sleepovers more than once a month either, I think 3 times is excessive so maybe you can limit that if you want to.

well, in my family we would rather them be at home having fun. i have said from the time my first was born that i won't say " oh my child wouldn't do that!" you can't really say what they will do when you aren't around. that said, having kids over at your house makes it a fun place to be. thats a good thing. as he gets older thats what you will want. you want him to have his friends over to your house not out and about in another parents
control.they may not parent like you do. not that it is bad. create a funplace
right there at home. in his teens he won't have a problem having his friends come there. as for being pooped. try to get a nap the day of and the afternoon after. and be thankful that he is happy to be at home. mom of 7, R. p.s. i feel like i am always having sleep overs. but the kids don't come until after supper. like on a friday. saturday is a hard one because of church. but if someone comes on saturday night they know up front that they have to get up and go to church or be picked up. fortunatlly the kids always want to go to church.