Daugter's First Sleepover

I'd let her go.
My daughter had her first sleep over last year, first grade, it was a group of about 20 girls there, I felt so sorry for the mother lol.

It went great she had a wonderful time.

A lot of people start out with a "sleep-under" (there are other cute names for this too), where the child stays until 9:00 or 10:00 and then comes home. Some people even plan the whole party this way, to get the feel of a sleepover without having to call parents for kids who can't sleep, which you mentioned as a possible problem. Hopefully you can please everyone with this option.

I was in a similar situation with my daughter. She was invited to her first sleepover and it was at the house of a new girl to the school, so I did not know the parents that well. I made a deal with her that she could stay until the other girls were going to bed, and I would pick her up. It was around 11pm. While she was not thrilled about it, she did understand and was still able to have a great time at the party.

I wouldn't let my kids go anywhere for the night if I didn't know the FAMILY. Your husband is being responsible and kids should be overprotected. Good job Dad. When my parents did sleepovers at our house the parents were invited to come hang out for as long as they wanted and get to know the whole family or help with supervision. That way if parents didn't feel they knew my parents well enough they got a chance to know them better. I know it is a hard decision and I don't want to be in your shoes in a few years. I know for myself my daughters will only go where I have complete trust until they are old enough to punch someone dead in the face. I'm with your husband on the over protective side!

My daughter just turned 6 and has already gone to and had sleepovers. Is she really great friends with the little girl who's house she'll be going to? Has she been on playdates there before? Let me try to put myself in your shoes. My daughter is in Daisies and our leader is the mother of one of her classmates. She is a very sweet lady and adores the girls and is an excellent leader. If she and her daughter invited my daughter to their house for a sleepover, I think I would let her go. Obviously making sure you had everyone's contact info and cell phone numbers, etc. And you know your daughter will call you if she starts feeling too homesick. I think it would be really fun for your little girl and I'm sure it will open the sleepover floodgate and will most definitely result in those little girls coming to YOUR house for the next sleepover, etc. =0) Your hubby should go with you to drop off your daughter so that HE can see the house and meet the parents. Let him know that now that she's in school sleepovers are going to be very frequent. It's going to be a big and really fun part of your daughter's childhood. In my opinion....women who lead troops and school functions are usually pretty great moms and really great with kids. Plus...tell hubby how nice it will be to maybe have a nice date night alone together while your daughter is off having a blast! =0)

Dear N.,

It is important that you and your husband are in agreement in making decisions in your children’s lives.

Here is my suggestion, but only if your husband is on board with it.
Talk to the hostess of this event; let her know you have concerns because your child has never attended a sleepover. You could go and help with the first few hours of the party, this will give you the opportunity to check out the household and also see how your child is adapting to the idea of spending the night in unfamiliar surroundings.

You will know when it’s time for you’re to leave and whether or not you will be taking your daughter home. Keep us posted!

Blessings.....

My rule is always the same if I do not know them, my kids are not staying over. I would take your daughter to the party and stay for a while and help out. If she says she does not need help, My come back has always been my child has never slept anywhere but home. I do not know if she will feel comfortable staying at your home with out me. So I could come and be some help it would be great. I have never let my daughter or son stay where I did not know both parents well. I used to let them go to the parties and pick them up when the children were going to bed. I have to say 99 per cent of the time. They were happy to come home to their own beds. If they all had plans for a fun morning I would drive them back so not to miss out on any fun. But you have to make sure you and your husband agree on what to do. I do not think it being overprotective at all, its being cautious with your child. Her leader may have been Cory checked .....but what about the husband and others in the home. I was never big on the sleepover thing as you can tell.

I would let this family know that you have a family rule that sleepovers are only at your home. You could say maybe when your kids are older they can have sleepovers at friends house?

We have 2 daughters 6 and 9 and they have never slept over anyone's house except their grandma's house. They have had many friends sleep over and we have just let families know that that is our rule. Parents haven't seem to mind. My husband is very strict with this subject. We make it real fun at our place for sleepovers. Hope this helps?

Listen to hubby ,sometimes a male's interwishing is just as valuable as a woman's. Can you both compromise on allowing your little angel to go for a little while 2-3 hrs., and pick her up before the others put on their pjs.? This way, if you both are in agreement, she won't feel as though she's missing anything if she's picked up (way) before bedtime begins.

How old is she. I'm over protective too. Even if you kinda know the mom, do you know the dad? Siblings? A compromise could be to let her go to the party and then pick her up at like 9pm.

It is hard to know when it is safe to let your daughter sleepover, especially when you do not know the parents well. I know the scout leaders need to have background checks. Do you know any other girls who are going? Maybe talk to their parents to see if they know the parents of the party girl. Or you could compromise with your husband and let her attend the party but pick her up at bedtime. At that age all she is probably missing out on is sleep and breakfast anyway. I know when my daughter attends parties there are always a few girls who don't spend the night for various reasons - don't want to stay away from home, don't know the parents well or activity in the morning that they need to attend. In today's world, I don't think any parent could find fault in your not wanting your daughter to spend the night at the home of someone you don't know well. Just make sure, if your daughter is leaving early, that the girl hosting the party knows ahead of time so it is not a disappointment when it happens. If you or your daughter aren't ready yet, there will be plenty more sleepover parties to come as she gets older. Good Luck!!

Protect your daughter--she (at the age of 7!) can't do it herself. You need to meet the father (he will be the one to hurt your daughter, certainly not the troop leader.) You need to find out the environment of the home--are they smokers, heavy drinkers, is their house clean and well kept? What do they plan on doing with the kids, feeding the kids, etc? There is absolutely no way I would just let my 7 year old go to someone's house and sleep over. "I think it will be fine" is not good enough.

I have gotten to know many of the parents of my son's classmates through volunteering at school, sporting events, play dates (where I often stay) and dinners together and have learned who to trust and not trust with my children. Sometimes the best behaved children have the worst parents but until you get to know them, YOU DON'T KNOW. I certainly wouldn't put my daughter in that situation overnight. I would allow her to attend the party and then pick her up around 9:30pm. Your husband isn't being overprotective, he is being a thoughtful parent. I know too many adults whose parents weren't and they ended up sexually abused as children. It only takes one time to change a life forever.

We rarely allow sleepovers. Mostly they have to be in our home.

You should call and arrange for you and your husband to come meet both parents first. Most parents will be very underdtanding.

I would let her go for the evening and pick her up at bedtime.

Don't be afraid to trust your (or your husbands) instincts and not cave to the parent peer pressure (been there!!)! How about letting her go with pj's and all, but pick her up at 9 or 10...what good really happens after that?!

I think her age and attitude have a lot to do with it. How old is she? I have compromised in the past and allowed my daughters to do sleep "unders" which means picking them up at about 10pm in their pj's. For now, it working really well.

Just the thought of a sleepover makes me cringe not because of safety, I know if someone else hosts, I'm going to have to reciprocate. Personally, I hate sleepovers. My kid comes home exhausted, grouchy and is a bear to be with the whole next day. That would be my excuse.
Why don't you schedule a time for your husband and you to go over to the house prior. I don't think any parent would fault you for being cautious. Then if you're satisfied, let her go. If you're not you could let her go for all but the sleepover portion. Pick her up at "bedtime", and drop her off again for "breakfast". Then all she misses is the "sleeping" and absolute exhaustion. If she really enjoys it, be prepared for lots more requests.
Good luck!
S.

Maybe a compromise is needed. Let your daughter go to the party, but arrange to pick up her up before bed time.

I remember when I was younger my parents would get together with my friend's parents during a "playdate" of sorts. Pretty much we would get together during the day and run off and play while my parents (or usually my mother) would get together and talk with their parents. Just a friendly meeting where people could get to know each other and exchange info. (ie: allergies, phone numbers, etc). Maybe you could have time to do that before the sleepover. I would be uncomfortable letting my child go if I didn't know the parents at all.

I will never be comfortable with slumber parties for that age group. When my now 12 year old daughter was younger, my husband and I agreed that we would only allow her to sleep over at her grandparents' house. Even today we are not that comfortable with it - and would never let her go to a slumber part when we don't know both of the parents. Even then, how well do you really know them? Most of the time the parents of your children's friends are just acquaintances. Sorry, but I have to agree with your husband.

You and your husband should go over there and meet the parents who are having the sleep over. If you both are so concerned why are you even letting her go to Brownies with this women? You both should have met this women a long time ago if she is the leader of the Brownie troop. I remember when my daughter was in Brownie's they let me stay for the first couple meetings until I got to know the leaders better and felt more comfortable with my daughter being there.

as your child gets older you will find this coming up more. Maybe I am just trusting, of both my daughter's smartness and the parents of her friends, but I don't think you will EVER get to know the other parents as the kids get older. Your child spends HOURS every day with these kids, and knows them pretty well. In my experience if the kids are nice, the parents are good. Easy.
You may want to ask about pets if your child is afraid or allergic, smoking if that bothers you (one sleepover we had to shower our daughter and wash everything she had brought the smoke smell was so bad!) and maybe what movies will be viewed, but other than that, don't smother your daughter for no reason!!

Hi N. S. I can understand your husband concerns because we're living in a time were people do most anything. But I think it would be okay since she( the troop leader) has been checked out and other children from the troop are going. I know when my children were small I wouldn't let them spend the night at their friends house. Only at their grandmothers. I think your daughter will be just fine. Have her call home during the party to let you all know how things are going. Maybe this will help ease your husband worry.

Hello!
My 8 year old daughter has been to a few sleepovers. I would obviously talk with the parents when you drop her off and give her the option to be picked up later if she didn't want to stay. I would feel uncomfortable if she was the only child going over there, however, since it's going to be a group of girls, I'm sure it would be fine. Do a little background checking and check the sex offender web site for your own sense of comfort. As a mother, I try to be protective enough to keep her safe, but not too much so that she loses out on childhood fun!

I have been reading over the responses here. At first I liked the idea that several respondents had about either arranging a time for you and your dh to come over and visit with the family beforehand or to maybe coming and staying for a while at the start of the party to see if you are comfortable. The problem there in lies in that you really can't get to know someone in such a short amount of time. Problem two is that if you decide you aren't comfortable, especially if it is at the party, you are heading into ugly meltdown territory if your daughter really wants to stay, and a potentially very awkward situation with the parents, one of whom you have to see at every Brownie meeting. I think I would definitely decide before the day of the party. I agree with you that she would probably be fine but I also see your husband's perspective. Talk to other parents to find out what their plans are and to see who may know the family well if you think it will help put yours and his minds at ease. Have your husband (and you together) talk to your daughter about his concerns (obviously delicately as it is likely she will repeat anything that is said back to the little girl who is hosting the party). You don't want her going back to school saying "My dad says that sometimes people aren't nice and hurt kids and since we don't know if your dad is nice I can't go to your party." That would be hard for the little girl to hear, even if it is the truth of the matter. And then, you know, that message will go home and get repeated to her parents, and possibly misquoted. I think it is important that you and your dh get on the same page about this though and that your daughter knows that. Good luck.

I wouldnt let her go. Especially if you dont know them well. No way. Better safe than sorry.

I'd let her go. She's the brownie troop leader, and other girls are going. I'd feel much better about a multiple girl sleepover at that age.

If she's excited about it, then she's probably ready. Let her go!! :)

let the girl go.jou have joure life to.truste in god he is faitht full.
thats why kids walk away.give the chance,tlk to the parents to