Sleeping - Fort Myers, FL

Hi K.,
My son is 2 1/2 years old and he starts out in his crib, but winds up in our bed at night and sleeps the rest of the night there. It isn't a 'terrible' habit, but it is something that is going to be hard to break in the long run. Especially the longer you allow it to go on. I've seen on Nanny911, and SuperNanny, that when it's time to teach them to sleep in their own bed, you just have to be consistant with them. You will lose a lot of sleep during this transition, but if you are consistant it will pay off. If she gets up at night, pick her up, or guide her back to her own bed and let her know that she is a big girl now and she needs to sleep in her own bed. The next time she gets up, take her back to her room again and put her in her own bed and remind her that she is a big girl and she needs to sleep in her own bed. The third time, don't say anything to her, just take her back to her bed and leave. It works! Give it a few days, and you'll be amazed on how it works. I'm always amazed on how Nanny911, and SuperNanny does it. I'm going to have to do the same thing when we put our son in his own bed at night instead of his crib. Children four and up should not be sleeping with their parents. That's just plain rediculous. I can understand if there's a huge storm outside and your child is scared and wants to come and sleep with you...Ok then..that's fine. But other than that, then I say they need their own bed. Having children sleep in their own bed is part of the learning independance process of their development. So with this said, be consistant and don't give up. Your little one might make you feel like dirt doing this to her, but it's what we as parents have to do in helping them to grow. :-) Hang in there. G.

This is a tough one now that she has come to expect the current sleeping arrangements. BUT, all is not lost. Just as kids have to learn to adapt, grow, change in other areas of their lives, they can definitely adjust to sleeping arrangements being altered.

Maybe:
-have her pick out a new stuffed animal to have in her bed
-let her pick out a new bed set or special pillow
-start a special bedtime ritual for her being in her own room
-reward her for being in her own room for naps/bedtime with special things like watching a movie she likes, etc
-keep a chart for times when she is a big girl in her own bed

Definitely explain to her that mommy and daddy really need to have their own bed since they are grown up, and need their sleep...and that since she is a big girl, she needs to be in a big bed of her own. There may even be books/videos on the subject at Amazon.com

Remember, the KEY is sticking to your guns as a team (mom/dad) and not giving in to crying or whining. Ultimately, being firm and kind will win out. It may be tough at first, but like any milestone, she will adapt and be just fine :)

If there is an issue of her coming out of her room, ensure a safety gate is at her door or hallway, and maybe turn her bedroom door lock around if need-be.

Good luck!

Hi K.! I know exactly what you're talking about! We had the same issue with our son. Blake turns 3 at the end of this month. We switched him to a big boy bed a while ago. We would do the whole night time routine, then he would insist that one of us lay with him until he fell asleep. Then, we would sneak out. Later, in the middle of the night, he would walk all the way down a big flight of steep stairs in the dark to our room on the main floor! It was so scary. I was always so tired, that I would just lift him up and put him in bed with us. But, it made it so hard to sleep that way with all three of us in bed! I was also really worried that he would fall down the stairs, so I put up night lights everywhere around the house so that he could see. But, that didn't solve the problem of him waking us up every single night. So, we decided to put those plastic, child-proof door knob covers on the doors to his bedroom. It was hard the first couple of nights because he would cry up in his room in the middle of the night because he couldn't get out. But, after 2-3 nights he realized that he couldn't get out, so he just stopped trying. That was probably six months ago, and we don't even have the door knob covers on anymore because he doesn't try to get up at night anymore! Just an idea. Hope it helps!

I have a three year old little boy with the same problem and I am not sure how to fix it either but I just want you to know that you are not alone

Well i don't feel so bad now, i have 2 1/2 year old in the same situation. I have no idea how to solve this problem. I am just hoping one day she'll decide she wants to sleep in her own bed. If you figure this out please let me know!!

I have recently dealt with this issue with my 2 1/2 year old son. One of the previous letters talks about nanny911. It works! Believe me, my children are the "love" of my life too! And I'm not going to lie and say it was the easiest thing I've ever done. It broke my heart. But, I chose a "weekend." (Whenever you have a couple daysoff in a row) And it would help if you and your husband have the same days off...helps you get a nap during the day. However, you can do it alone. I did it when my husband was on a business trip. :) The first night was the hardest... the first, second, and third time he got out of bed I walked him back, told him he was a big boy now...(All the while with the lights off I sat at his doorway) The times following didn't say a thing just walked him back to bed. Obviously, he FINALLY fell asleep. The Second night a repeat...except he only got out of bed 4 or 5 times. Each night it decreased. Then the first night after he stayed in bed the whole time, I told him I'd be in the living room. He got up once or twice that night (I think just to make sure I was really there) After that no problem. The whole process took me a good 5 days. But, losing sleep those 5 days is well worth the rest I get now! I hope this makes sense...it's kinda late for me tonight.

Gotta get to bed.(With JUST my husband!) I hope to hear you say this soon too.

Remember, it hurts to hear your child cry and call for you...but, stand your ground. Sometimes the right thing to do for your children is the most difficult.

K. A.

I don't agree that it's a terrible habit. Children feel comfort in our beds, not alone. My first still sleeps with us, she is eight and our two year old sleeps with us every night.