I'm having a little problem with my sister-in-law. My mother is not in the greatest health, she has a slipped disk in her back that is pinching her sciatic nerve. She is in physical therapy and on restrictions with lifting. She's even suppose to avoid sitting for too long so she mostly stands or lays down. And my sister in law still asks her to babysit her 1 year old. I understand that sometimes my sister is really in a jam and it's either ask my mom to babysit or miss class but I still dont think she should be asking my mom, in her condition, to care for a 1 year old. She's not suppose to be lifting more than 5 pounds. I know I should just leave it alone and hope that my mom will just say now, but my mom is one of those people that always wants to help and she has a hard time saying so, so I feel protective of her. Last time she watched him she ended up being really sore the next day. I'm just afraid that if she keeps watching him it will hurt her chances of getting better with the physical therapy and she'll end up having to have surgery. So, should I have a talk with my sister-in-law?
My MIL has had multiple back surgies, she has good days and bad days, and she always wants to have my kids, it is what keeps her going, so I am conflicted in your Q's. I can also see it from the other side, are you willing or capable of helping her out more? Is there any other family who might? I really do feel that it is your moms job to say yes or no even if she might not.
YES! Most certainly talk about it. Maybe to your brother, if not the SIL. But, make sure you have some solutions that she might think about for taking care of her one year old. She may just have to pay for a sitter. It's better than paying for the damage that could happen to your mom. Or ask a friend from church, swap times with another friend, or if you can once in a great while. Has she considered taking classes in the evenings? Would her DH be able to take care of the baby then? It doesn't sound like this is a short term problem for your mom, and even if she were back to health, she may have to limit her movements in the future. I'm sure your brother and SIL don't want to be responsible for any further damage to your mom's condition. But, definately discuss it with them. Non-communication is miscommunication in many instances. Good luck, and I hope your mom starts to have some better days ahead.
J.
Could you offer to help your sister-inlaw out while your mom recovers? This way it will not come across as critisism, but concern.
C. It would be a good idea to talk to your sister-n- law and gently explain that it's not such a good idea to leave her 1 year old with your mom in her condition maybe tell her what could possably go wrong , but not to over do it , mabe she will think about it for her child's safty.
C. S
I think it's necessary to be addressed, but not sure by who. Can you bring it up to your SIL as if you assume she wasn't aware of your moms back issues? It may be the 'spoonful of sugar' that helps get the point accross. Also, don't forget that mom is grown...she is perfectly capable of saying 'no' if she wants. Maybe you'll feel better by reminding mom that she shouldn't be lifing the child, etc. As one mom said, it may be what she loves and what keeps her looking foward to every day~
~L.
Is there anyone else that can help with the babbysitting? I would try to have a talk and explain your concerns in the way you feel best about it.
