Should I Let This Bother Me or Just Let It Pass?

I wouldn't cancel yet. I'd let it go this time. If she brings it up again, tell her you can respect her beliefs and ask her not to talk to you about it anymore. If she continues, warn her that you will talk w/ her boss about it and consider dropping the membership.

Hold on! She was wrong? Why? You said she "grilled" you? Sounds like more of she questioned you and you didn't like the questions. Maybe next time you should say "fine thank you for asking".

A person,s religious beliefs are their own and nobody else,s business. That lady is lucky she did,nt get ahold of me. Just ignore her!

I would never consider canceling my gym membership because someone who works there said or asked something I didn't like. (unless of course they are threatening me or my family or something ridiculous). This is a place you go to relax, be healthy, let off steam, perfect your body, etc. Why on earth would you let someone with no social graces ruin that for you?

Let this one go. And don't talk to her about anything from now on. The conversations should go like this:

Her: Hi, how are you?
You: Good, thank you. (smile big!)

Then....get on the treadmill.

Oh my gosh. Let-it-go. Your daughter goes there to play while you work out for an hour maybe two. She's going to be exposed to different people with different opinions and ideas, this is not going to impact her in the least. Come on, K....geeze.

Think about it this way. You say "we don't need middle men we talk to God everyday" and "we are not hypocrites who rush to church on BIG days when we don't go every week". Ok well, you just made two judgmental statements about church-goers. 1) that people who go to church feel they need middle men and you somehow have a corner on the concept of talking to God and 2) that people who can only make it to church on big holidays are somehow hypocrites.

I go to church and don't feel you need a "middle man" to talk to God. I go for the fellowship and the meditation and the intention of setting aside a few hours of my week to go as a family and meet with other people who have similar beliefs.

My husband's grandmother and aunt go to church only on holidays not because they are hypocrites but because they are disabled and they cannot manage a weekly trip.

Perhaps you are defensive about your decisions (I say defensive because you used the word "threatened") because your decisions to not be involved in church are rooted in anger, and you might possibly be defensive about not doing an easter basket because you don't want to think that you dropped the ball...I don't know, just guessing.

All I am trying to communicate by telling you these things is that you already said you are "sharp tongued" when threatened. You also seem similarly judgmental and are offended by a woman who was apparently similarly opinionated.

Perhaps you would do well to use this as a lesson to be more gracious, close your mouth and open your ears. God forbid you might actually learn something. Who knew a 22 month old would enjoy easter?

You may, at the very least learn what you must sound like to some people when you're spouting your opinions. Many children get the general bunny concept at 22 months, my son at 2 years old had an egg hunt with his 18 month old cousin and they completely got it. You might be underestimating your daughter...but that's completely besides the point.

If you think she's a nice lady then why on earth would you get SO ruffled?

I agree with the others. Just let it go this time. If she keeps getting on you for your choices firmly tell her you don't want to talk about it with her.

I think I understand your situation. I, too, agree that if you don't belong to a church--why go on Easter or Christmas?
I know she's an arse, but if you LIKE going to the Y I would be darned if I would let someone like that chase me away!
As for your sharp tongue--just maybe she could benefit from a little taste of it? Like a mini-dose? LOL

I agree w/ D.M's post. I would definitely let her know where you stand and also let her know that you would prefer not to talk about such things (Religion, politics, any other touchy subjects, etc.) and if she continues, then you are then left w/ no other choice but to speak to her boss about it and at that point, you'd have given her a chance and opportunity to have listened to your wants/needs. :) Best of luck.

Please, don't let one person's negative attitude and comments decide whether you cancel your membership! Don't let her "Win". Take the high road and if she confronts you about it again, put her in her place. Say, I understand you think you know everything about God and religion, but I am just asking you to take good care of my child-not have a debate about religion or our church preferences. Its not your business and I am not going to talk about it anymore. I would let this go and enjoy your time! Life is TOO SHORT to worry about things like this--don't let her get to you! If you are happy with your decisions and way of doing things, great! Don't let her comments get to you. Take care--- Molly

I would probably go to the supervisor, but not in an angry manner. "Hi Boss Lady. Nevaeh and I had a conversation that concerned me when I dropped off little Rosie on Easter before my workout. I'm not upset about it, but it was a little unsettling. She asked some very personal questions about religion and our church attendance and it became uncomfortable. I thought as her supervisor that you needed to know this was occurring."

When I was working as a manager I would have needed to know about incidents like this about my employees. Not so that I could fire them, but so that I could discuss appropriate topics for them to bring up with customers. Religion would never have been acceptable. And what you're not considering is that this might be work issue with her that the boss is keeping tabs on.

It's not about keeping from hurting this lady's feelings. She crossed some boundaries and was obnoxious about it. Letting her boss know what happened wouldn't be an issue where you need to worry about hurting her feelings. It's an issue where the business can suffer and proof of that is you considering quitting your membership.

K.,

I am with your husband on this. You definately need to go to this woman's boss and hopefully she will be fired! We live in America, which means we have the freedom to practice (or not practice) any religion we want, without being preached to and criticized! This woman harrassed you big time, and for you to say she is a nice person is just not the case. It is never nice to preach ones religion to someone else! I shutter to think about what this woman would have said to me, since I am Jewish! Besides, this woman works at a daycare at the Y - NOT a church! She needs to keep her mouth shut about religion. Definately talk to her boss and don't drop your membership b/c then you will be allowing this lady to have power over you and to control your life. Good luck!

I wouldn't cancel your membership.

\What I would do, if it were me, would be to tell her supervisor that about the incident. Even though the Y is a Christian organization, their staff and volunteers should be professional and should not be harassing the members by telling them how to practice their religion, since there are hundreds of Christian denominations and ways to practice the Christian faith.

The only thing I would want to be sure about would be, is she kind and caring towards your child? If the answer to that question is yes, I would definitely let it go and enjoy your workout. Smile, be friendly, try to keep it short and sweet and steer away from going deeper into controversial topics like religion. Yes, it would irritate me, but I would let it go.

I have worked at a Y for many years. And this is unexceptable. we are not there to judge or push our beliefs on you. I would find out who the bosses supervisor is. each department roughly has a coordnaitor, then a director, and then there is always the Associate Executive Director and the Executive Director. I know that they are all there for you and the higher up you go and just state your concern they will address the situation. There are also annomous comment cards you could fill out and turn in that way someone knows what happend and it can be addressed with out pointing fingers. I hope this helps. and please don't be afraid to speak up. if she did it to you then she probably has done it to others and that is not what the Y is about. yes we are a christian facility but we are there for everyone. you don't have to prove you are a certain faith just to work there. and your religion is not a requirement to get a membersip there.

I agree with DM, don't make a rash decision. She was absolutely out of line, but she clearly thought she was trying to help you and educate you...some people just don't get it. Anyway, I would let it go for now. You don't want to have to give up your routine for this woman who made some ignorant comments. If things like this continue then I would consider going to her boss before cancelling your membership. I don't know if the boss would actually fire her, but this is a fire-able offense. In a few days you'll be less mad, so I'd wait it out a bit.

If you don't want to talk to her boss I would say let it go till next time. She may not bring it up again and it would be a non-issue. If she does go on about it, I'd let her know that you respect her beliefs, but that your relationship with God is personal. Some people are just clueless and clunky and come off like they're "attacking". Don't take it personally and don't let a conversation take away from the benefits of your Y membership. If she won't cut it out, you may have to go over her head, but I wouldn't do it over a one time thing, especially around holiday hulabaloo.

I would also be annoyed but I would probably just let it go. Now, if it happened again, I would probably feel the need to address the situation, probably with the worker ,herself.

Well, she was most definitely out of line. To be devils advocate though-did you kind of 'want' to talk about it by saying it was another quiet Sunday therefore prompting her so that a discussion would ensue? Not saying you did but just wondering. I do know people who will do anything to get a discussion going on their religion just so they can tell you how they do or do not feel.

But anytime anyone ever jumps on you I would just ask them isn't it up to the Lord to judge and not us? That right there is the thing that is going to bite us all in the butt in the hereafter in my opinion-even, and probably especially, the devoutest out there. I have a feeling God will not take lightly to people judging people in his name.

I don't think this is a good enough reason to quit working out there though.

If the Y has what you need and want in the way of a workout, don't let one person stop you from going. Just let it go this time and if she brings it up again, tell her you don't feel comfortable discussing it. It really isn't any of her business.

I just wonder why you (and your husband) are so VERY defensive on this subject?

:)

I'd let it go . . . and with this person I would never say more than three words in reply.

I.e., "How was your weekend?" You say "great thank you!" Big smile, mosey on along.

DO NOT ENGAGE WITH CRAZY, ANNOYING OR MEDDLING PEOPLE (or people who type in all caps LOL).

:)

PS: I consider myself a pretty religious, church-going person. I just don't consider that sort of behavior (the gym lady) acceptable.

It is inappropriate for someone, especially in a business setting, to convey or sway their opinions on religion & politics to others. It is none of her business what you do, when or why you do it or do not. Furthermore, you should never have to explain yourself to anyone! I, for me, would've reported it & just let the mgr know that while you're not trying to get the lady into trouble or cause her to lose her job, she needs to still be notified that her employee is inappropriately behaving towards customers. If you are really that uncomfortable talking to the manager & you feel necessary to cancel your membership, I would go one more time in person to cancel & whether the same lady helps you or not, let the person helping you cancel know why you're cancelling, tell them that you were offended by what she said & she was being inappropriate at work by voicing her religious opinions. If she then says something else, let her know that it is none of her business what you do, where & why. She is only there to serve customers, not dictate to them where they should worship, when or how, it is not her place to do so. I feel the same way you do. We believe whole heartedly in God & we pray every day but we're just not those who enjoy going out to Church when we can watch the sermon on tv if we choose to do so. My in-laws are the same way as the lady you mentioned every week they call..."have you found a church yet, you need to goto church, you need to find a church, did you goto church today..." etc etc. They just don't "get it" that we just don't want to go to church, we worship at home. Hope this helps, good luck & stand your ground. Exercise at home if you have to but you should never have to be berated or be dictated to by someone trying to push you around on their personal views.

DO NOT CANCEL YOUR MEMBERSHIP!! YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!!

She was in the wrong. She should HAVE NOT grilled you - it is NOT her business how you choose to raise your daughter.

I don't need a middle man to talk to God. Neither do you. I talk to God every day.

What does it matter to HER if you didn't do a basket for your daughter?! OH MY WORD!! Nice lady or not - she overstepped her bounds and you need to tell her that. DO NOT let her control you or how you feel - if you see her again - and she talks to you about it - then you need to tell her it is NOT her place to talk to you about and if she doesn't stop RIGHT NOW - you will talk to her boss and complain. PERIOD.

DO NOT LET HER STOP YOU FROM GOING BACK!! YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!!

I haven't read any of the responses - so sorry if I repeat what someone has said.....if I were you, I would just let it go. It's not really that big of a deal. I think that you are correct to feel that you don't need to explain to her what/how your family decides to spend a holiday, but I certainly wouldn't cancel my membership over just this incident. My boss asked me if I was going to go to church on Easter (which normally I am a church goer, but haven't gone for a while since I had a baby I need to get back into the groove! LOL) when I told him no - he said "Oh c'mon, the kids are gonna have blow up slides and an Easter egg hunt and blah, blah, blah" - I just told him "They'll live! That's not what Easter is about anyways." - He really didn't have a come back for that - all he could say was "You're right!" - HA - LOL It really doesn't matter what they lady thinks. I have NEVER done an Easter basket for my kids - and guess what - they are just fine!! I did not want to get into the habit of it from an early age - it is ridiculous. It is just another way for the stores to get you to spend your hard earned money on a bunch of junk that you don't need. Just My Opinion.......

I think that you should let it pass; it is weird that she would grill you like that since it's really none of her business whether you go to church or not. Just try to be nice and say "Thank you, but I don't really want to talk about this with you and I ask that you please respect my decisions and not question me on them" (or something similar to that) if she tries to question you again. Hopefully it was just a one-time incident and not worth giving up going to the Y (I always loved working out there and the kids had fun playing in the playroom). If she's normally a nice lady, then it might not be worth it to make more of a big deal about it. If it keeps happening, though, you should talk to her boss about it, because it isn't professional at all.

I agree with those who say to talk to her superiors. You are probably not the first person she has offended, and if her rudeness is causing them to lose business then she should be disciplined or fired. I think you are wise by not getting your daughter an Easter basket when she is too young to understand it, too many parents go all out and then have to out-do themselves every year.

Don't let it pass, and don't cancel your membership!

Next time you see her, tell you you'd like to clear the air and say something like "While I appreciate your concern, it made me feel really uncomfortable when you were talking to me about Easter. It got a little too invasive and I hope that we can just agree to to disagree".

I strongly suggest letting it go if you can... I wouldn't avoid her either, I know it will be a little awkward, but since she's been nice to you in the past, try to move forward. Tell her let's not talk about religion here, I like you a lot, if you don't like my life style keep it to yourself please.

I consider myself a christian, but I just hate hearing stories like this. People like her push people way. I thought our responsibility was to be like Christ, not God and judge... Be a bigger person than her and just forgive her for her actions...

I would talk to the boss about this person. It's not right to bash people like that and very un-Christian. I would not cancel my membership.

Next time religion or politics or anything similar comes up, excuse yourself from the conversation early on.

A fine and very honest thing to say would be " The church is not a building- all the beleivers - the body of christ- ARE THE church." Anyone who thinks that you NEED to go to chruch to know God is in doctrinal error themselves.
I'm not sure I would call someone who only goes to church on a holiday to be a hypocrite- I considered going but i wasnt going to be saved or to 'look' holy, I thought it would be nice to sing some hymns. My normal Sunday is spent doing Bible study at home with friends from CA over the phone.

Her behavior is not acceptable.
Her boss should be informed and do not cancel your membership.
How you choose to celebrate or not celebrate any holiday is none of her business and it's not up to her to rate it, approve or disapprove or put it down.
Her behavior is very bad for business - her boss is well within her rights to fire her if a warning or reprimand is not enough to stop it.
If she asks similar questions in the future, I'd be tempted to tell her "I'm a born again Druid and paint myself blue and dance with a sprig of mistletoe by the light of the moon" just to see the look on her face.
This is what low level religious persecution looks like. Stand up to it.

I would keep going and if this kind of thing comes up again I would simply tell her that it is none of her business and you find the questioning rude and unprofessional.

If you don't like the service you receive, then, yes, cancel membership.

HOWEVER, we live in a big world with many different ideas. If one chooses to run from or avoid encounters with different ideas or encounters requiring the defense of ideas, then one will never stop running.

This is both my simple observation, and is also supported in the Christian Bible, "but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;" 1 Pet. 3:15

I wouldn't quit. The next time she starts in on you like that just tell her that you totally appreciate what she's saying but quite honestly, you're not there to talk about that kind of stuff. You just want to work out. SO BACK OFF!! Just kidding. Don't tell her that. :)

If you don't want to defend your choices, then don't defend your choices. You are an adult. By no means do I mean any disrespect, but if your child, for example, was in a situation where she had to make a choice between what her peers chose to do and what you raised her to do, would you tell her that she couldn't ride her bus or go back to her school, etc., or would you tell her to do what she knew was right for her (as long as it didn't hurt her or anyone else?) You can't just "take your ball and go home" because you are uncomfortable or offended. Well, I suppose you could, but that would not be the kind of message I would want to send to my children. Believe me, I understand your feelings, but as you go through life you are going to encounter people with different points of view, unless, of course, you live in a bubble. I recently had a similar situation (with other Christians) and my pastor's advice was to simply say something along the lines of, "I don't think God would want us to argue about this," I wish you well.

Our family actually goes to church weekly and I would have been offended by that line of questioning as well. It is none of her business. and definitely not ok for her to block the door and keep questioning you. Maybe you could address it with her or if there's an HR person at the Y, maybe they would be better equipped to address it. Each family makes decisions that they feel work best with their families and it is always rattling when someone challenges it that directly. Good luck!

I would just work out at home. You shouldn't have to defend your position on church or Easter or anything to a stranger. If it was a friendly conversation or invitation to church-that would be one thing, but she was really rude and you don't have to put up with that. I would also let the boss know that I wasn't' coming back and why. You don't have to be rude about it, but this would make me uncomfortable enough to not go back there because I wouldn't want her telling my kids anything that I didn't approve of.
But it looks like I am in the minority here so far!:)
~C.

Boy, I would have been really put off by that. And annoyed...what an annoying woman. No, you should not cancel your membership. Just ignore her and do what you would normally do. You will always run into annoying people in life. If she brings it up again just cut her off with something along the line of you prefer not to talk about this and change the subject.

Why cancel your membership, which benefits your whole family because of an employee? I'm sorry you felt put on the spot. But this girl is paid to check your child in and out and maybe help keep an eye on her for an hour while you Zumba. Who cares what she thinks? It's not as though she represents the beliefs of the organization. Although it IS The YMCA. Young Mens Christian Association! Her heart was in the right place. It's not as though she were trying to recruit you to join a cult. She, as a Christian, is given a mandate to spread the gospel. And probably just came from a very emotional reenactment at church and was "full of the Holy Spirit." Of course it's unprofessional to ask about peoples beliefs and to harass them about going to church. But she felt comfortable enough with you to bring it up so she probably feels close and pretty safe with you . And she really wanted your baby to get an Easter basket. She sounds caring and sweet actually, if maybe a bit unprofessional. I think it would be good of you to sort of mentor her. Just as you let her into the idea that you can worship with out and intermediary, maybe you can continue to guide her. I wouldn't be angry, quit, or want her fired. I would put those values into action and take her under your wing.