Should I Let Him Cry It Out ?

Let him cry. If you keep picking him up every time he cries it will become habit. Trust me! He can also be teething, poor baby. Good Luck.

I do not think you should let him CIO. I am not a fan of this at all. It sounds like there is a reason he is crying. The reason I say this is you stated that he has been able to cry for a few minutes and go back to sleep (self sooth). All of a sudden he starts screeming/crying. Who knows why??? It could be gas, or teeting or growing pains....all you really know is that he needs you to soothe him. At 7 months old he does not have to ability to understand why you are not coming to him only that you are not. My son is almost a year now and we have gone through a few nights were he just cried the whole night (very few maybe 5 at most). Most of the time he sleeps through the night. On the nights he is unhappy there is not always something I can do for him. I just hold him and walk with him, whatever he needs to provide him with a little relief. 7 months is an age where they have a lot going on and we really will never know what is the matter, all we can do is try. A few sleepless nights (I work full time so I understand this can be hard) was well worth it to me to not have to watch my son, fists in a ball, bodytense, face red, tears streaming from his eyes, looking at me like WHY??? I did it once and I promised I would never do it again. I read No Cry Sleep Method and learned so much about sleeping patterns and how to help him find his own sleeping bliss. Good luck!

I wasn't a fan of crying it out so I always got up and fed my baby. It was tough going for awhile but we got through it and he finally started sleeping through the night. I just toughed it out for awhile when my baby was a younger and was tired. He was always hungry when he woke up crying in the middle of the night. I could feed him and put him back down to sleep. I know that's opposite of the crying it out theory but it still worked for us. Good luck and hang in there.

He is only a baby. Letting him cry only teaches him that you are not there for him. It is one thing to let a toddler who is having a temper tantrum cry in their crib, but a whole different story to leave an infant to cry into exhaustion. It has long term impacts on people - impacts which we have begun to see in our society among younger people. Bullying to excess, high school shootings, suicides and brutal murders by young people. These things didn't happen when I was a kid (early 1970s) to the extend that they do now and the Harvard study (which came out in the mid 1980s and is linked below) warned parents of the long term effects of Ferber methods and others. Pick him up, love him, show him you care and you will reward not just yourself, but society at large with a loving, caring man.
Raising a child isn't a part-time gig - you are leaving your own legacy in the form of another human, who will most likely go on to make relationships and decisions and parent in the way they were raised.

Your son is pleading with you to hold him and your gut is telling you to pick him up. I highly suggest you go with your gut, remembering that what you do with him now, dictates the person he becomes later. Research has shown that babies who co-sleep and are NOT left to CIO actually are more independent and self-assured as adults than their CIO peers. It takes longer, yes, but it is a very smart, long-term investment

Here is the Harvard study that predicted the society which we now live in BEFORE it happened:
http://www.mymammasmilk.com/SayNotoCIO.html

I really hate the cry it method! When my son was a baby he would cry in the middle of the night and I would bring him to bed w/ us. He did not cry all the time as a result of me doing this. In fact, it made him cry less and he has always been a very independant little boy. I believe that since he fealt comforted, he also has fealt secure with himself and was never whiny and clingy.

From reading your post, I think your mama's intuition is telling you NOT to let him cry it out...

I'm in the "comfort your little ones when they ask for it" camp. If he is hungry, do you leave him to 'get used to it'? No. You feed him. So if he is crying and asking for your calming presence, why withold it? Many kids take a long time to sleep through the night, and often it's better in spots and worse in others.

Another way I think of it is that I am able to take care of myself. If I'm cold, I can get a blanket. If I'm sick, I can get meds. If thirsty, water. etc. But a 7 month old can't even sit up by himself -- let alone take care of his needs. I, as the parent have the job of taking care of his needs until he is old enough to do this himself.

Two good books to check out are "Sleepless in America" by Kurcinka & "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Pantley.

{{hugs}} Sleep problems are tough!!

L.

I say pick him up and comfort him. A child learning to cry and cry for comfort is not teaching them to go to sleep on their own. It's crying to exhaustion that's making them go to sleep. He is also still very young and maybe he's not ready to sleep through the night. Like the others have said, make sure he's not teething or has a super wet diaper or is not hungry. Sometimes a growth spurt can make them wake up hungry for a few nights. My own daughter needed comfort from either me or my husband. I got it to the point where I could just go in pick her up, give her a hug, tell her it's ok and she would go back to sleep on her own. Now she sleeps like a rock for 12hrs. Also make sure he has something to cuddle with like a small blankie or stuffed animal.

I personally don't like letting my kids cry it out. I get little sleep as it is, and I can't see the benefit of letting them get into a rage. That's my personal opinion as a parent.

One of our kids is a rock star sleeper, the other is horrible. Different kids, different circadian rhythms, different personalities and different needs. If they wake up, I let them sleep with me (for now). When they're older (they're 2 and 3.5), it will be a different story.

My story's a little different because of some health issues soon after my daughter's birth, so I may coddle more at bedtime, but I don't think it's harmed my children in any way.

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I do cry it out, but I think the best thing to do is get either Ferber or Weissbluth's books on sleep training and than stick to a method. They are both pretty gentle and its not like you let your son just scream for hours days on end. It helps to read the books so you can be prepared with a strategy. They also touch on topics such as teething, ect....which you will come across while sleep training. Best of luck.

Don't worry, this is very common! Your baby is very small still and some kids just aren't as good at self soothing as others. My two were night and day different in this aspect and still are different at calming themselves down. You have to decide for yourself what your baby needs. And also what you need (a little sleep right?!) Some will say never pick him up and others will say always pick him up! For me it was something in between. I just went with my gut on what baby needed at that moment. I thought I would go crazy with my first and wondered why none of the advice people gave me worked for her! It turns out she is just a more sensitive child and isn't good at calming herself down. To this day she requires more attention in this aspect. My younger has always been calmer and a great sleeper. I used exact same techniques everyone recommends for both. There is an element of personality in your baby that only you can determine. Do what feels right. You are not going to spoil a child by rocking it when it is 7 mos old! The child will naturally need you less as he gets older. You also must at sometime get some sleep yourself. We are not family bed people so it was tough sometimes deciding. The way I see it I am Momma and soothing the baby is totally natural and instinctive and it is just what baby needs sometimes. It will change greatly over the next year as your baby turns into a toddler and starts learning to calm himself better. Then the very calming, set evening routine becomes very important to teaching your child to sleep. It is helpful to start that now for the baby but it won't mean baby doesn't still need you to soothe him. Have patience and don't stress about what you "should" do so much. I think I did that too much with my first. I just was convinced I was doing something wrong all the time. And I tried everything so it was a LOT of beating myself up. And just so you know you aren't alone in the world, I took people's advice and let my child cry it out for a week. She screamed for 3 hours every night before finally passing out exhausted. She would then wake up a few hours later and start the screaming again. She was miserable and so was I and I returned to rocking her and getting up with her in the night to soothe her back to sleep. Eventually she slept through the night and went to bed easily (age 13 mos) I did the same with my second she cried one minute and went to sleep every night and slept through the night from 8 weeks old. ?????? So who knows what you should do, right!? :)

I used CIO, but I never let my boys cry for too long. I would set a timer and if they were still crying after 5 minutes I would go in and comfort them without picking them up or feeding them. I would rub their tummies or backs and sing or talk softly until they were calm, and then I would leave. If they stated crying again I would put another 5 minutes on the timer. I never had to go in more than once. At night I would do the same thing. If they started crying I would wait 5 minutes to go in. I can only remember a handful of times I ever had to go in at night, they always self soothed in under 5. Since your child is 7 months it may take a little longer for him to learn to self comfort, I started with my boys at around 2 months and it came natural at that age, but it usually takes a little more time to learn once a baby is a little older. In the end it is well worth it for your child to know how to comfort himself and be a good sleeper.

Does he still eat at night? With both my daughters they didn't really start sleeping through the night until they were done eating at night. My first daughter stopped night feeding at 11 months but cried for all hours of the night for 2 weeks straight! I mean like 3 to 4 hours of straight crying! it was the worst ever! but finally after 2 weeks she started sleeping through the night. My other daughter nursed at night until I finally weaned her at 12 months. But she only cried for like 10 min for a few nights and was done. So all babies are different. Maybe your son is just still hungry and just isn't really ready to sleep straight through the night. I know it seems like he should be but many babies don't give up night feedings until the year mark.

I let both my kids (3 yrs & 3 mos) CIO using Weissbluth's method which worked. According to Weissbluth, if you're baby is crying in the middle of the night, he's overtired and may need to put him down earlier for the night. My 3 mos old goes down at 6pm, which is early but we are an early (6am) morning family.

By letting him CIO, you are teaching your baby a skill to self sooth and go back to sleep. Babies in general do not like change and will cry. It took my now 3yo 2-3 weeks to get the "message" and it took my 3 mo old 6 days. Whatever you choose to do, be consistent and your baby will get the hang of it. Be patient.

Good luck!

I dont think there's a quick fix to this. I think it's better to let your child know that you're there with him when he's sad and scared. He will eventually grow out of it.

M.

I think you should follow your instincts. You are the mother and you know what is best for him (even if you don't feel certain). Personally, I do not like the parenting theories that tell mothers to let their children cry. It goes against a mother's instinct. I prefer the theories that support your desire to cuddle, feed, and mother your baby. Books: "No Cry Sleep Solution" and anything from the "Sears Parenting Library". My son slept with me or in my room for the first year and he sleeps through the night in his own bed now-- he has always had a hard time transitioning from sleep to awake and almost always cries for the first few seconds.

I vote you pick him up. He is only 7 months old, he is not being manipulative he is crying because he needs you. Be there for him, comfort him to sleep and place him back in his crib. You might also want to fasten a music motion box on the side of his crib that can sooth him back to sleep. Cheerish this time with your son, times goes by so quickly. Take care of your baby and you, good luck Mommy!

Updated

i feel your pain! check if he is teething. sometimes a quick swap of orajel will do the trick. our first child was a terrible sleeper and i tried to let her cry it out but after hours of her screaming i just couldn't do it and didn't try it again. all it took was for me to pick her up and say it was alright and for her to go back to sleep. she would in minutes, and so would i. it was much quicker and calmer for all of us. good luck, do what feels right to you. if you can't handle the CIO, don't beat yourself up. your baby will eventually sleep well...

You'll just keep getting the same two answers, I'm afraid. People who like the Cry It Out method will insist that's the best thing, but you have to do it RIGHT, or it won't work...

The other group thinks it horrible to ignore your child when he needs something.

For what it's worth, I'm with the group that thinks you should comfort your child. You're losing sleep because you 'get up' with your child and try to make him go back to sleep, instead of just tucking him in with you.

Honest, he won't be sleeping with you when he's a pre-teen. He'll have it figured out long before then. But at this age, you can't reason with him, or demand that he obey you. He's a baby, he's too young to understand. And yes - he's getting confusing messges from you.

As his mother, you've always met his needs. You've fed him, kept him warm, dry, clean. You've played with him, taken him places, shown him things, taught him things. You've given him love. He needs every one of these things to thrive as a human being. Letting him feel safe, warm, and secure while he sleeps is just another part of this. From his point of view, being put into a big, cold crib with bars and left alone in the dark for hours, just feels wrong. As a baby, he craves closeness to you. He can't help it. He's not being manipulative. It's a simple need biologically wired into babies so they can survive.

In the end, I can only suggest that you pick the method you know you can live with. Then live peacefully with that decision. Your family will all feel better. Good luck!

First things first he is the one of the following questions: wet,cold,hungry,teething? he is at the right age! Does he have a fever? If it is over 102 degrees go to hospital! Undress him first and cool him down then in 10 minutes take his temperature! If way too high you can bathe him and or ice him too!
Children that age can have bad dreams too! Do you have a rocking chair in his room, you could comfort him by singing and rocking him! Must doctors agree you can not spoil a child under one year! They need a lot of holding! I f you have started him on food he could have bad gas pains too! Try rubbing his bum gently and his back, try to see if he needs to burp!
Make sure he is not tangle in his blankets!
Infants can also get there day and night mixed up!
You will learn all his different types of cries!
Sometimes they cry if they are over sleepy too!
Last thing have you consider a night light?
Most baby do not scream or cry there lungs out without a reason! Maybe consult your family doctor! Ps does he have all his shots up to date?
Pss nothing wrong in comforting your baby! He is after all your baby and needs lots of love and attention. Lots of babies die of sids every year! Be thankful for crying... ( it usually means there is a problem!) From a well seasoned mom. Enjoy him he is a gift fom God you are truly blessed!

7 month old children usually do not have any words they can use. They tell us they need something by crying. If someone comes when they cry and tries to figure out what they want/need, they learn to trust that the world is a good place where a loving person will always come when they announce a need.

What are you telling your baby by ignoring him? We all cried when we were alone at seven months of age. Very few of us cry all the time now no matter what our parents did or didn't do, but whether we feel safe and secure and confident in the world in which we live, or fearful and anxious is related to how our parents responded to our cries, day and night.

Please follow your instincts and respond in a loving caring way, you are not teaching your baby to cry just because you respond when he does. He cries for a reason and when his needs are met he will stop. He will not think of ways to control you by crying. I know that in the night we see things differently . In the daytime you automatically do this, but at night you want to sleep and wish he would respect that. He is too little to learn day from night and what is appropriate. All he knows is that it gets scarier and scarier in the dark when his cries are not heard and responded to.

As to his fighting sleep when he hasn't already been asleep, what else have you tried to get him to relax? Is he really tired and sleepy? Does he respond to rocking, music, low lights, bouncing," white sound" ? Find out what he likes best that will lull him, and try to consistently use that to get him to associate it with sleep.

And just do what feels natural and loving so that you are his saviour and comforter not his trainer.

Try to get some naps in the day time when he takes them too so you are not so tired when he wakes at night.

Best of luck, enjoy this wonderful little boy

Greg grandma N.

I think the only way to have a good sleeping baby that sleeps in their "own" bed is to use the CIO method. I also think you should always make sure there is no fever, sickness, teething pain etc. I know when my kids are having a tantrum cry or are really in pain. If you go into the room and they instantly stop crying they are probably not in a lot of pain, but if they are still fussy as you hold them and rock them then you may need to give a little more attention. I don't think it has to be a black and white thing, but consistency is the key. I think it is very important skill to teach your baby how to self soothe and sleep through the night. Both of my girls slept through the night at 5 weeks old with a modified CIO method. I don't ignore them when they cry, but I try to differentiate why they are crying. My girls are very bright, happy, rested children. I know a lot of people (friends and family) that are against the CIO method and they have 2-3 year olds who don't sleep consistenly because there parents give into there every whim.

I think every mom here has experienced that hun, it is very normal. =) Repeat this mantra...this too shall pass, this tooooo shall PASSSSS! And it will.
I suggest you make sure he is good and full (well fed) before he goes to bed, check his diaper when he wakes up, check to see if he is cold, put him on his tummy and pat his back. Don't pick him up if you can help it. He will learn to sooth himself. And take a nap when he naps. If both you and your husband work ask him to switch off nights so you both get some reasonable sleep. This really won't last forever. =)

M.,
Is he teething? You might want to check and see. All I can tell you if there is nothing wrong with him is that if you take him now and put him to sleep with you, sooner or later you will have to get him used to sleeping by himself. I think it's better now than later. But then again, it depends on you. I had my oldest boy sleeping with us up until the second one came along, they are 20 months apart, then before my daughter came into the picture, my middleone was spleeping with us; they are 18 months apart, but my daughter slept with us and it was hard to get her on her own until she was about 2! It was hard, but I learned to choose my battles.
So, it is really all up to you. If he is okay, I would just let him cry it out. But check and make sure that is not teething or something else.
Blessings