Should I Have My Son Repet Kindergarten????

If the teacher recommends it and you know he's really behind, then yes, I would. Better now than later.

The principal's concern is bogus, IMO. Sometimes people hold their kids back in K to intentionally make them bigger and older.

If you are going to do it, now is the time. There is a very large age span in my child's class. That should not be a problem. Not to mention, the incoming kindergarteners will not know he was held back.

When is your son's birthday? When is the school's cut off date?

It might help if we have a little more information about why the teacher recommends it. How far behind is he? Does he recognize his letters? Does he know the sounds of the letters? Can he recognize numbers and count to 20? If he does not know these things, I'd consider holding him. If he does know these things, I'd probably send him on to first grade but work with him a lot over the summer. Make the work FUN though - not worksheets and boring stuff - and he will be more likely to actually absorb the information.

Is he a special needs student? If so, what kind of needs does he have?

Please provide us more information and we can probably give you better answers.

I've not had to address the problem of already being academically behind, but two of my kids were born in August.

The oldest, we sent her to preschool for 1 year, and then sent her on to kindergarten the next year. She was always very bright...... however, in second grade, her teacher recommended holding her back.. (mostly she was very inattentive, stuff like that.. not disruptive, not really struggling academically). However, in 4th grade, it all came crashing down, essentially.... math got very hard for her (she hadn't memorized the multiplication and division tables... she was still trying to count it all on her fingers, essentially), and was failing math because she was lying to us about having homework, and just not turning ANYTHING in. However, we knew she was very bright.... the Iowa Basics test (standardized test they gave at that time) showed her math computation on a late 3rd grade level, but her math COMPREHENSION was on a 7th grade level... she understood it intuitively, but didn't have the mechanics mastered. We moved at the end of the year (there were several things that happened that year that also may have distracted her), and had her repeat 4th grade... she just got her doctorate from Johns Hopkins University in microbiology. Would she have done as well if we had either delayed her kindergarten entry, or had her repeat an earlier grade? We don't know... I do know, however, that having her repeat 4th grade at that point (when we moved several states away) worked for her.

Now... her sister, 4 years younger, was totally different.... after preschool (with the same teacher her siblings had had), was not really ready for kindergarten at age 5...... so we got her into a different pre-school program (through the school district), and then moved at the end of her second pre-school year. She was (and is) very smart, but struggled more with the ADHD aspects, both academically, and socially. We had a lot of problems with her throughout her middle and high school career.... and still struggles with some of those same issues.... she is very ADHD, although we never had her officially diagnosed, nor did we put her on medication. Would she have done better if we had done so? Maybe so....

Anyway, it is so hard to predict how any given child will do, either by holding them back or by letting them go.

I would want to side with the teacher, and have him repeat kindergarten, especially since he is already struggling... there is less social "stigma" to repeating kindergarten than a later grade.

However... what does your "mommy instinct" tell you to do?

If possible, have him in some activities this summer where he can at least maintain his educational gains, and not fall farther behind..... he may struggle less next year if he doesn't have to "relearn" some of what he looses over the summer.

I disagree with people who would hold a child back, or not hold a child back, for social reasons way down the road (in other words, playing the "what if" game, since there's no guarantee that it will ever be a problem down the road). To me, that's not what kids go to school to do. They're there for an education. If your child is academically behind, then he should repeat the year. First grade is a lot more difficult academically, and if your son is struggling with sight words, for instance, or is having trouble with counting, then first grade will be very difficult and discouraging for him. You need to do what is right for him academically, first and foremost.

Another thought to consider: ONLY in school are kids around a bunch of same-aged people. In all other aspects of life (home, out in public, future college and job), people are around all ages of other people. So why do we place SO much importance on the exact age of the child in school? So what if he is 6 when the other kids are 5? If he is working at the same level as all the other kids in his class, then he's in the right place. And if he's the same age as the other kids, but miserable because he doesn't understand the work all the other kids are doing, then how would that help him? Put him where he needs to be academically, and the rest will fall into place.

The administration hates to hold kids back, it's a money thing, they have to educate each child for 13 yrs. they dont want to educate children for 14 yrs.
The teacher has your child's best interest at heart. I would ignore the principal, but ask the teacher a lot of questions. i also would hate to do it if he was big for his age, or old for his grade (for instance if he turned 6 in Oct or November of Kindergarten. I would hate to do it if he were very mature for his age. Sometimes the oldest and tallest is respected more than the smallest. I think you and the teacher have an equal say in this matter, not the principal

My GS was held back in 4th grade and it was the best thing ever! He had been struggling since kindergarten, but had just been pushed up to the next grade level every year. Finally, in 4th grade the teacher recommended holding him back. The principal was just like your principal - afraid he may be picked on down the road.

Well, now he's in 10th grade and doing great! I really don't think he would be doing as well as he is now had he not repeated the 4th grade. It was a turning point for his academic success.

My GS is not a really big kid, so you can't tell there's any age difference by looking at him. He hasn't had any bad repurcussions (sp) from staying back.

If the teacher thinks it's necessary, do it. If your child gets lost now, he will struggle for many years to come. No need putting him through that unnecessarily.

My younger sister and one of my younger brothers were both held back, one in K and the other in first grade. It was a great decision for both of them. My other younger brother probably should have been held back too. He did not have a good life at all - his problems certainly weren't caused entirely by school problems, but struggling year after year and being immature didn't do him any favors.

The 4 people I know who did it are very glad. The person I know who didn't I think regrets it. It was similar - teacher thought they should hold the daughter back, principal didn't. I think the principal is sometimes motivated by budget issues or something... How does the principal know a child well enough to say? The teacher has way better insight. The principal pressured these parents so they advanced their daughter. She's now in 4th grade and really struggles. I'd be wiling to bet my life savings if they'd held her back she'd be doing way better. She's a sharp kid in every day conversation but she's young for her grade and all the academic troubles snowball I think.

In my daughters first grade class... there was one boy that repeated the grade.. (so this was his second time in first grade)... I was able to help in the class a lot so I now the child well.

IN the beginning of his 2nd time in first grade he could barely barely read.. (we are talking ...I see a cat... I see a hat..books).. he did make progress.. but the child is still at the bottom of the class.

I think the studies show that having a child repeat the grade does tremendous damage to their self esteem.. and does not help them much academically.

If the child did not learn the material the first time through.. it is unlikely that they will make tremendous progress just repeating the same material a year later.. what does work.. is tutoring.. one on one help. and using a different method..

in our district kindergarten does cover academics.. but it is mostly about social skills and behavior.. I would probably send him to summer school... or kumon.. or another such place for the summer.. put him in first grade.. and if he doesn't make sufficient progress in first grade repeat first grade.. but again.. repeating a grade is not necessarily going to help.

if the teacher thinks he needs it then absolutely. I can tell you that being held back in kindergarten is no where near as bad as being held back in an older grade. My son had a lot of speech problems on top of the adhd when he was younger. they went ahead and pushed him through kindergarten to 1st grade. at the end of first grade they wanted to push him along to 2nd but pull him out for special help etc. I asked "will the other kids be twiddling their thumbs or moving on while sam is having the special help?" the answer was of course they would be moving along. so he would still be way behind at the end of that year. basically setting him up to fail. I had them hold him back. best thing we could have done. he is doing great now.

How do you fall behind in kindergarten ? The whole idea of such a thing is laughable to me, and tells me that schools start too much pressure too early.

Part of me says send him to first. Repeat first if necessary. So much more to gain repeating first grade. However, if he is recei ing special services, you might want to request a meeting of all involved and have a discussion

If he is also receiving special education help, you should have those people to also talk to. I would get that information as well.

My sister didn't repeat Kindergarten, as the issue was that she was struggling with social skills at the end due to a family divorce. Her academics were fine. If your son is struggling with academics, too, then I would consider not only repeating K but finding out why he is floundering and what didn't work for him this year. Does his IEP need to be changed?

That the principal is worried about size (kids are all sizes - my DD attends school with a girl who is a year younger and quite a bit bigger, and they are in their age appropriate classes), then he or she is missing the point.

My boy was young in kindergarten and had a wonderful teacher. She advised us to repeat him, while the principal advised us not to repeat him. We took the advice of the teacher as she had far more day to day experience with our son, and truly understood issues going on for him. He did very well, and it really took the pressure off him when he would have been struggling if he had gone on. I am very happy that we held him back.

I would never hold a child back in Kindergarten, they just don't do that much that is not taught in 1st grade.

Of course you will do what you'll do but I would tell the teacher no thank you and say no.

How old is he?
6?
Turning 7?

It is preferred, that if a child needs to be held back, that it is done in the younger grades. Kinder or 1st.
I know lots of Moms, that held their son back, repeating Kinder.
Their reasons were: maturity and/or academics of their son.
For them, it was a good choice. And for their kid.

However, my daughter has a classmate, who is the OLDEST in her grade level. This is for 5th grade. He is 12 years old. Whereas, all the other 5th graders are 10 or 11 years old. And being he is 12, he has already started having pimples in his face etc. and is reflecting his age-related changes, per his body etc. And he "looks" older than the other kids and the other kids know he is the oldest one in their grade level. But he's a nice kid. Don't know why he was held back when he was younger.

If your child is lagging academically in Kinder, then why is he lagging academically?
Did his education plan in SPED help him?
Is he now, then, on par?
Or not?
If he is still not on par, academically, then perhaps it is good to hold him back. Because, in 1st grade the academics are different. A child needs to understand... the basics.
And it is also per maturity/emotional maturity of the child.

I did not hold my youngest back in kindergarten but waited till 2nd grade. He was not as far behind in K then in 2nd. It was the very best thing we could have done for him. He's now in 4th and making A's and B's. He still struggles with reading but that's not suprising to me. If you decide this is not that time to hold him back then you can always to it later. I would do it elementry school but it's not crutial in K.