Sharing a Room

Updated on February 06, 2008
L.B. asks from Oakdale, CT
13 answers

My husband and I live in a small two bedroom house that we thought would be fine when we were pregnant with our second child.. which we found out was another girl!..thank god for that little boy would have had to deal with a very pink room!
Its so hard to coordinate everything when sharing a room..such as my youngest naps from 9-11 how do I get my oldest who is three that she can't play in the room because her sister is napping? Then at bedtime our youngest goes to bed at 7 - 7:30 and my oldest at 8-8:30. We still have our 8 month old in her co-sleeper but know she needs to go to her crib (she is not crawling yet) Anyone have a two bedroom with any advice on coordinating times???

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to take a moment to update everyone on how the room sharing is going! Well, one night we deceided to try having our youngest sleep in her crib. She woke up then a couple times but we just kept putting her back after she fell asleep again. We were both very shocked that her big sister just slept right through it and actually LOVES having her sister in her room! Now our youngest (now 10 months) wakes up once and loves her crib. So thank you everyone for the advice! We just needed to try it and realize that lots of kids share rooms not just ours so eventually it WILL work! Also now my husband and I can finally get time together!
Thanks again!

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C.K.

answers from Hartford on

Hi L.,
My two boys share a room, and it works out well for us. When my younger son would nap I would find something to do with his brother or he would get a little quiet time on my bed with a pile of books or toys and sometimes the tv. My son thought it was great that he got to have quiet time in mommy's bed.
When it came to bedtime, it got tricky, but we just tried to do all the prep in another spot. We would read books on the couch or in my bed and then we would do bedtime.
Now that they are 4 and 6 it's great. They really enjoy sharing the room.

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N.M.

answers from Boston on

i have two girls also, now teens and they shared rooms until they were 8 and 10.naps during the day were in my room that way my oldest could still use the bedroom to play, at night they went at the same time.

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B.T.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.,
I have a small 2 bedroom house too and was very concerned about it when I was pregnant with our second. Like you, I have two of the same. Mine are boys which makes it much easier sharing a room. Mine are 4 yrs 8 mo apart in age. My youngest goes to bed at 7:00 and older goes at 8:00. But we just quietly go in and my younger never hears us. (he is now 18 mo and older is 6 yrs now)
As far as naps go I would just take toys out of their room and have my older play in the living room. Or read books or watch a movie. Something pretty quiet since their room is very close by.
I'm sure you will see that it will all work out for you.
Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from New London on

My suggestion would be to put them both to bed at the same time, perhaps compromising at 7:30 p.m.

As you know, it is a process. Why go through it twice?

Create a bedtime routine that includes both children. They can bathe together, put their jammies on together, brush teeth together (your 8 month old can sit on your lap in the bathroom while you assist your 3 year old with brushing her teeth). All the while discussing teeth and any other silly thing to keep them on task with taking care of their bodies.

From there you can make a big deal out of getting into bed for storytime. Get cozy with them in bed to read a bedtime story. A time for all family members to let down (even if it's just for 20 minutes until your dinner dishes call you back to the kitchen). The younger child enjoys a night time feeding and the warmth of your bodies while hearing your voices. This is the best recipe for drifting off into lalah land as the story or stories continue. This will leave you with the one-on-one time that you and your older child have always enjoyed as you continue reading.

If they are given the same comfort and guidance with the same schedule it should fall right into place for you.

This is the perfect time to establish this pattern for yourselves. As your younger child transitions from infant to toddler she will observe her big sister routine and grow to learn that it is hers as well. It will definitely establish a special bond that will keep bedtime fun for years to come.

Even if the younger child is not fully asleep she will melt at the sound of your lullying voices. The younger child can be placed into the crib at the end of your story(ies). Once you kiss them each tenderly and slip off to bed you should be golden.

Try not to try too hard. Relax and just let it happen while establishing clear guidelines. No bouncing up for a drink of water, 10 more books . . . A simple matter of fact attitude, "This is what we do at bedtime" should be all that you need to say (along with whatever special thing you do to close bedtime). I remember having to work with the younger child not to disturb the older child from time to time but she will get it. Be consistent. Trust me, the effort that you put into this now will lay the groundwork for effortless bedtimes in the future.

Our children are now 8 and soon-to-be 5 (three years and 2 months apart) and this routine continues to work for our family style. We love bedtime!

Sweet Dreams from a Fellow Mom Who Cares!

K.

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F.P.

answers from Boston on

Hi ,
I have two girls 3 and 1 and they have just started sharing a room. It has its moments such as if one wakes up the other does but they love having each other there, we try and have seperate nap times but the same bed time. And if possible have special things for your oldest to do while the little one sleeps. Its an adjustment but they adjust fast and will have an even stronger bond in the long run. Good luck.I would also recommend having a crib tent because a lot of times my 3 year old wants to get in and play with the baby but for safety reasons we got the tent and it helps my piece of mind.

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N.P.

answers from Hartford on

I have a boy and a girl who are 18 months apart. I kept a sleeper in my bedroom when they were very young until they were old enough to adjust to sleeping in the same room. (we only have 2 bedrooms as well). What i ended up doing when they were older was giving up my bedroom and buying a sleeper sofa so that my son and daughter would have their own room. i wish i would have had this board when i was going through this. Good luck.

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N.P.

answers from Boston on

We have 4 children and a 3 bedroom, so there are some similarities and some differences. Our 2 youngest are girls (3 and 9 months). My youngest has their room for naps always. When my 3 yr. old needs a nap, I put her in the boys' room, and it works out because it's quite dark in there. If I were in your situation, and my 3 year old still needed an afternoon nap, I would have her sleep in my room, and trian her that there was absolutely no getting up to play until she (hopefully got used to it). As far as the girls' room being off-limits to your 3 year old when the baby is asleep...she will get used to it. Have some of her toys in another area of the house all of the time so that you aren't having to grab stuff before laying the baby down, or forgetting (which would be awful). Explain it to her and that she is not allowed to go in there for any reason. At night we sometimes have to lay the baby down first (around 7 or 7:30), when we do, we just whisper to our older daughter (when it's her bedtime) that we have to go in very quietly, and that we can't talk. She got good at this right away, and seemed to really understand. Often (when the baby was 8 months) she would get disturbed anyway, but we would re-settle her after tucking in the 3 year old, and though she would cry after we left, it wouldn't last long. We also explained (to the 3 year old) prior to re-settling the little one, that she might cry...but she would eventually stop, and not to talk to her.
Hope some of this helps. Soon, you will be able to keep the baby awake until her big sister is ready to go to bed, and all will go much more smoothly.
N.

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R.T.

answers from Barnstable on

L., my two girls are 18 months apart, and they share a room. My first bit of advice would be to try and coordinate their bedtimes...it's only about an hour's difference so meet in the middle somewhere,(7:45?) it should take them about a week to adjust to it. Also, I play soft music for my girls at bedtime, this way they don't keep each other awake by talking or fussing! I play music in my son's (6yr.)room as well, so that the girls don't keep him up either. Everyone is asleep within 20-30 minutes. Maybe when the baby naps, you and your oldest could do arts & crafts or something..anything really that will keep her from trying to get into the room where the baby is sleeping. Good luck to you and your girls!

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P.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.,

What works for us is my 1 year old goes to bed at 7:30 and my 4 year old goes to bed at 8:30. We whisper when we go in and are very quiet. For naps my 4 year old naps in my bed. My 1 year old is down to one nap now but when he was napping in the morning we just stayed downstairs until he woke up.
Good Luck!

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B.B.

answers from Boston on

One suggestion I have is to have some "special" toys out of the bedroom that only come out when your youngest is taking her nap. Also maybe have art supplies for your 3 year old to be able to do while her sister naps. It should make it a special time for your older daughter and yourself, then she wouldn't even want to go into the bedroom. I hope this helps.

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J.F.

answers from Boston on

Before we moved we had the same problem. My oldest was 5 and not happy about sharing a room with a baby. Before the youngest went down for a nap, I would tell my 5 yr old to get the toys, games and books he thought he wanted so he could play in the living room. If that didnt work, I would use that time to allow him to watch a movie or a special show he liked. Sometimes I would use the babies nap to do big boy things like paint, or do art projects, or play on the computer with him. He appreciated the extra time when I could give it. As for the bedtime, I found it easiest to put them down at the same time. They got used to it quickly. I was (and still am) fortunate that they both are very good sleepers.
Good luck to you!

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J.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi,
I have 5 and 2 year old boys who share a room. We have 4 bedrooms but 2 are on the 3rd floor so effectively we have a 2 bedroom too. We put our little one in the room at about a year- up until then, the crib was in our bedroom. It was not easy on us but it made the transition easier with a 4 year old and a 1 year old. We spent a couple of months "talking up" having his little brother in the room to our older one. Our older one still naps occassionally but when he doesn't, we use that time for him to play with me or my husband one-on-one (doing projects or games we can't do when the little one is there). We have the boys go to bed at the same time because it is just easier and because they both wake up at about the same time in the morning. On the nights that our older one goes to bed later or doesn't nap, we just tell the little one that is what will happen- he hasn't had a problem with it yet.

Hope this helps and good luck!

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K.F.

answers from Portland on

I have a 2 1/2 year old son and 4 month old daughter who share a room. Our son is still in a crib...he doesn't want to go into his bed yet(fine by me). Our daughter is sleeping in her pack and play in the same room. She naps in her swing during the day, but they share the room at night. She goes to bed about 2 hours after he does so it works out fine. Not sure how we will be able to fit the crib AND his bed in that room when the time comes, but I'm sure it will all work out. Good luck!

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