Sexual Intimacy Conversations with Your Mom

NO!! LOL

Even as a young girl, my mom's idea of 'the talk' was some kotex pads, a belt (YES...Before stick on pads, there was a belt!! lol) and a little pamphlet called something like 'Today you are a woman'...

Geesh

I started very young talking with kids about their bodies...and now they are older...and sometimes I think I know more than I need to know!

Better that than a pamphlet...

Best Luck!
michele/cat

My mom was the baby of 6, dad was a coal miner, born in the Great Depression and lived in a SMALL town in Wyoming....

My mom STILL blushes when I talk to her about sex...I can talk to my dad about sex without a problem!!

My mom "prepared" me for my period by stating - this is what is going to happen to you..this is what you will need...if you need more help - let me know...my mom is a WONDERFUL W. but doesn't do social or personal things well...she's learning - it's only taken her 70 years - but she's learning!!! I can talk to her about sex - just not HER sex life...LOL!!! And IF I talk to her about mine? I can hear her blushing through the phone! LOL!!!

I learned more from my sister and my dad than I did from my mom...

My mom was always open with talk about sex and our bodies. When we were younger it was just the facts....body parts and answering questions in age appropriate ways. She would always answer honestly without giving too much information. When we were older, she was very open. It was facts and her opinions. She was honest with decisions she made and choices she wished she hadn't made. She also let us all know what she hoped for us. She made it clear we could go to her about anything. And she was smart...these uncomfortable conversations always took place in a moving vehicle. We didn't make eye contact, because she was driving and no one could leave the room, no matter how irritated, uncomfortable or embarrassed we got. It was a great strategy. All four of us still talk about sex with out parents, but I don't think we go into personal details. More like crude jokes and teasing. :) But if I had an issue I think I could still talk to her...in a car or on the phone. ;)

My mom and I are pretty close. But, out of respect for my husband, I keep the sex talk with her pretty simple. He would be so embarrassed if my mom knew all about our sex life. And as far as my dad goes, Im pretty much still a virgin. :)

My mom sat me down & gave me 'the talk' when I was pretty little, 3rd grade I think. She told me recently that the only reason she did it then is because I was asking her a whole bunch of questions. When I was in high school & ready to go on the pill I did NOT talk to my mom about it, I went with my boyfriend. When my parents were mad at me because I had stayed out past my curfew & they decided to search my bedroom my dad almost had a coronary when they found a nightstand drawer full of condoms. My dad took them all & threw them away. Ummm...helloooo?!?! At least I was protecting myself, right?? I was 17 at the time, my boyfriend was 18, we had been together for a full year & a half and we used both the pill as well as condoms. You can't ask for much more from your kids, at least in my opinion.

Anyway, I digress. I have never talked openly about my own sex life with my mom. We have talked about sex in general, kind of as if we were talking about someone else, that seems to be the only way either one of us is very comfortable.

I talked to my daughter last year (3rd grade) trying to prepare her for getting her period because I'm sure it's coming any time now. We didn't go into sex really, just because I don't think it's time for it. I did tell her that we would talk about it soon, just not right then. She said, "Yeah, Mama, I don't need to talk about birth control or anything like that because, you know, I'm NINE." I just said, "Yes, exactly my point." & left it at that!

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Yes, but my parents have always been very open and matter of fact about sex. I am not sure what age they explained the birds and bees to us, but I know it must have been early on, as I know a lot of it was in order to teach us how to keep our bodies safe from sexual predators etc. As we got older, they of course provided more detail and kept it age appropriate. Even with how open they have always been, I am still a little taken back sometimes by HOW open they are...my mom does talk about her sex life (not in huge detail, but she has told me how often). Again, all the comments are just so matter-of-fact, that it is not creepy or anything. They both will make sex jokes or say things like "Your mom has nice legs!" or whatever. It did make it a lot easier for us as kids to talk to them and ask questions rather than finding out from our friends. And they are both very conservative and religious, so while they are open about sex, it is never in a lewd/crude way. I think it is good because as we grew up, we knew that sex was normal and good but to be reserved for marriage.

My Mom is 75 and that is one topic that will never come up.
Honestly, with her attitude about sex, it's amazing she had kids at all.
Basically she believes it just happens but it should never be discussed - ever.
When me and my sister were getting our periods, she handed us a book/leaflet from a tampon company and that was pretty much it for any info about the birds and the bees until health class in high school in 11th or 12th grade.

SunshineMommy...you're not the only "weird" one. My mom was honest and open with me growing up. She never made it seem like it was something to hide behind close doors. If I had a question, she answered the best she could. Was it sometimes 'over my head'...probably. I take the same approach with my daughter and when my son starts asking questions I will do the same with him.

We still are open and talk about sex. For us it's not taboo and we all know it happens! So not a big deal to me to hear her talk about it. And I know far more than anyone should know about their mom and their moms sex life! But she's never lied to me about any of it.

ADDED: My husband on the other...freaks out when our kids ask questions with anything to do with body parts, functions, etc. Growing up I don't think anyone talked about sex...too taboo. So it is really hard for him that I'm like an open book!

My mom and I can talk about sex w/out a problem. After reading everyone's responses I feel like I am the weird one now! Ha! I don't ever remember having "a talk" and I think my dad said a few things about being careful and what-not... My entire family was in the room when I gave birth to all of our children. Sex was never made an "issue" or "taboo" and I think it was a good thing?! My husband and I talk openly with our children and use the proper terms, but all in an age appropriate manner. I think you have to find a happy-medium where you don't stress it (or stress out about it) but it is definitely in the open. Good luck!

Nope. Im allmost 32 & I have 11month old twins, My mom still hasnt given me the "talk". When I told her I was pregnant she asked me If i knew where babies came from and I told her yes ( obviously) and that was the closest we have ever gotten to the subject. But we have never really had a super close relationship either.

I am 31 and I can count on one hand the number of 'sex talks' we've ever had.

I've been married for only 4 years and I can count on 3 or 4 hands the number of times my MIL has talked about sex - either about her own sex life, my SIL's sex life, my SIL's best friend's sex life ....... Yes, my MIL has talked to me about my SIL's best friend's sex life. Weird I know.

OMG, NO my mom and I never talk about sex whatsoever. I come from a Catholic background and our sex talk when I was a teenager consisted of a book on how babies are made and the general statement: "We don't have sex until we get married." My mom is the biggest prude ever so that conversation will NEVER happen! :)

well i tried to talk openly with my mom when i started getting active (around 16) but she wasnt having it, i asked her to put me on the pill just in case but the way she looked at it is if i didnt have it i wouldnt have sex and i couldnt go alone i had to have her take me. and i became pregnant at 17, i do NOT blame her at all but i think that there would of been less of a chance if i was able to be on the pill or patch or whatever

NO! I do NOT talk to my mom about it ewwwwwwww. She did teach me what I needed to know as a kid though. Although, I'm going to be much more thorough with my kids. For those adult ladies who still feel at ease talking to moms about it, good, but I think it becomes a conversation among friends as kids mature. Just be sure to get in there young enough (8 years-ish and before) while your kids are still receptive to you as the source, and keep open as long as possible.

For me it's easy to talk to my mom about anything. My mom used to counsil gays and lesbians in our religious community and other couples, but mostly same gender on sex and other relationship related topics. I think because of this it's easy. We have had healthy conversations about sex age appropriately for as long as I can remember.

My mom and I talked about sex while I was growing up. From first periods to her taking me to my first gyn appointment and getting birth control.

One thing my mother stressed was that sex was for marriage. She never told me bad stuff about it, but that it was a good and wonderful thing in its place. I am glad she it because that saved me a lot of grief and emotional issues from having it too soon...like a lot of my friends were in high school.

I plan on talking to my kids about it when it starts coming up. I am not nervous about it...it is just part of life.

Nope, I never had a sex talk with my Mom and don't expect that I ever will. Good luck though.

I can talk just fine with my kids, the boys and the girls. No way in hell I would ever talk with my mom about sex. She was one of those once a year as a special treat kinda wives. What on earth would I learn from her? How to hate men and treat the one you are married to like dirt.

At least in my word the key is to never speak about life experiences, just the facts ya know. No child, I don't care how old they are, wants to think about their parents having sex.

Books are a great way to open the conversation lines! My mom read them to us children very early, so we always knew the facts of life, and learned more details as we got older. Once the "ice" is broken, continuing the conversation is not so bad.

My four year old learned how babies are born, not yet how they are conceived, from my OB/GYN trips 2 years ago for baby sister. She saw the charts on the wall, asked questions and I satisfied her curiosity. She also understands a lot about menstruation and supplies by being in and out of the bathroom with me. She asks - I answer. I have yet to do the facts of life, but she's noticing her parts and wanting answers so that is next on the agenda.

Best wishes!

My mom always seemed at ease and never acted like anything embarrassed her. She has since admitted that yes it made her uncomfortable but she had grown up with a mom who had never told her anything and she had not wanted her daughters to go through life like that.
I have always had a very open communication with my kids...I think it comes from just wanting your kids to be aware and not feel ashamed...sometimes I feel uneasy when I talk to my 15 year old son, but I just look at it as my responsibility and I would much rather a few minutes of discomfort than him getting a disease or me becoming a grandma while I am still in my 30's = )
I will say to practice what you plan on saying, and even say it out loud before you do the talks...it helps a lot. Also try to think of questions they may ask you and how you will respond...good luck = ) No matter what you end up sharing, its better they get info from you than misinformed by friends, and I have not been thrilled by the schools divulge sex ed...I would much prefer my kids hear it from me.

My mom and I don't talk about sex. Her information to me on the subject was that it was something women had to put up with if they wanted children, and that my sex drive was an enemy to be defeated.

I taught my daughter to embrace her own body, and answered all her questions honestly. She is now 21 and sometimes tells me more than I want to know about her and her fiance's sex life.

I am 57 and I still do not talk about sex with my mom. Sure it would've been nice. But it has to do with how people are brought up. She was brought up in a very....'don't talk about such things'. I mean she got real upset with my sister and me when she saw us sitting on our boyfriends' laps! It sounds cynical and all but it's a wonder my sisters and I exist at all because my mom was so uptight. The most I got? Some comment on that I'd get my period. She was just brought up when sex was a taboo subject and never learned herself how to talk about it. I guess if it's an unpleasant subject it's an unpleasant experience.
Me? College roommate talks. That's where I learned the bulk of it. I don't think I could even today have sex talks with my mom.
I did manage at least one with my oldest son, I think. These days sex ed is pretty clear, it would seem. I never got asked by my other sons. I would like to have put some sound thoughts in their heads. But guys would rather learn from guys I think. Girls seems to be able to talk about it easier. Just guessing on that.
I was quite the opposite of my mom. I am not a prude. I have standards, sure. But I would never keep quiet about the subject if asked. Honesty and yes, age appropriate ways.