Serious Sleep Issues Persisting!

Updated on February 06, 2013
M.D. asks from Ambler, PA
7 answers

Hello. Does anyone else have kids that still get up multiple times a night, even at almost 2? I asked a question about 6 months ago about sleep training and got some good suggestions but we are still having issues almost every night. My sweet little one is always tired and now has become incessantly clingy to me as a result. I can barely brush my teeth or use the bathroom without her crying her little heart out. We did try letting her just cry through it a few times, only to find out that she had an ear infection. If a kid with a germ even looks at my daughter, she gets something...which I blame for all these miserable sleepless nights. Anyway, she did have the ear infection about 3 weeks ago and started sleeping slightly better once on motrin and antibiotics but was still waking. We went back to the doctor 10 days later because she was starting to wake and cry more frequently again. They said her ears were fine and her molars were pushing through. They advised motrin at night but I feel awful giving her motrin every single night just to try and ensure a little more sleep...and that doesn't even always work. My husband and I are just exhausted and could use some more ideas or shared experiences. I feel like by this age she should be sleeping better but then I think about our four year old and how she was this way at this age too. If you can commiserate, send me a note of encouragement or at least let me know how your situation worked out. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

I want to start by thanking the moms who replied. You all made me feel less alone in our situation which always makes a tough time easier to deal with. Every night is a total crap-shoot around here. In the past week, we have had a few nights where she has only woken up once (sometimes twice but I have only heard her and gotten up once, my husband took the other turn), and we have had miserable nights where she is up 4 or 5 times and still up with the sun for the day. Ugh!
I don't want to be angry or frustrated with her because she is such a sweet and amazing little girl but it's so hard when I am sleep deprived. Although I am not happy that anyone else is suffering too, it made me feel much better to hear from all of you and know that others are struggling with sleep issues too and working through them one day at a time.
We do have a very consistent bedtime and nap routine and she never gives us trouble going down at nap or for bedtime. It's getting her to sleep through the night that we struggle with the most. She will go to sleep and usually stay asleep for 4-5 hours before the first wake up. One suggestion I will definitely look at is moving her nap to earlier in the day when possible. Right now, she naps from about 1-3pm because she goes the preschool two days a week and that is the schedule they are on. Our four year old also naps at that time so it does make for a nice break for me (or nap when needed) if they are both sleeping at the same time. But, if an earlier nap for the younger one makes for a better night sleep for all, then it will be worth making that change.
Again, thanks for taking the time to reach out and show your support. Being a mommy is hard work but at least we all can relate to the struggles together:-)

More Answers

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

From birth - about age 5, my daughter was a frequent night waker. Sometimes 5-6x a night just so we could 'tuck her back in'. It was exhausting. For some reason now (she's 5.5) she sleeps through the night MOST of the time. I'd say 1-2x a week she'll wake with a nightmare or wake up and ask us to lay down with her or tuck her back in.

My son (from birth) was a great sleeper. Only in the past few months (he's 3.5) has HE begun waking at night - often for night terrors, the pillow or blanket falls of the bed or he wet through his diaper.

So when one started to sleep through the night, the other would wake! And they share a bedroom!

Seems like no sleep for mom...however I have just learned to go to sleep earlier - usually 9-930 and am used to waking up several times a night. Now I'm up just because I think my body got used to waking up and I drink quite a bit of water at night (workout about 1-2 hours before bed) so I'm usually up to go to the bathroom at least 3x a night!!

It WILL get better!! Kids who are overtired often wake up more. Does she have a consistent bedtime and routine? Get her outside or do an exercise video with her (run around with her even) to get her more tired in the evenings!

2 moms found this helpful
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F.B.

answers from New York on

We used ferber, it worked for us. We all have sleep cycles where we drift into light sleep and even moments of wakefulness during the night, the question is can we soothe ourselves back to sleep. Ferber's approach (graduated waiting (modified cry it out)), helps extinguish sleep crutches/ sleep associations which we depend on to go to sleep/ back to sleep.

Even Ferber has you tend to a sick or teething child. Once the sickness has resolved, or the teething pain is over, the kid might get caught up in the night rousing cycle, long after the "need" for tending is over. That's when you can Ferber all over again.

Good luck to you and yours.
I know I don't do well without a full nights sleep.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

1 mom found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

My s on was a great sleeper, from birth. Then, he turned two. I don't know why the switch flipped, but her decided he wanted to wake up a lot. (He already had his molars, so no teething.) I did exactly what McMama suggested below. I took him out and ran the poor kid to death!! He was so tired at night, he fell asleep and stayed asleep. I did that for about a week, and he re-learned that sleeping through the night wasn't so bad. Could you try that?

Oh, and another thing...when does your daughter nap? I found that I HAD to make sure my son napped early and woke up no later then 1:00. Otherwise, he slept terribly at night. I would give him a good snack, put him down for a nap at 11:00, and he would wake up around 1:00 and eat lunch. What are the duration of her naps? If she is sleeping too long, that can effect her. On the flip side, is she not a good napper? If not, that really can be bad. I found when my son went through a bad napper phase, he went through a bad sleeping phase.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Allentown on

My daughter woke every hour until she was 2 and a half. My son was born when she was 2 and a half and she was still waking every hour. I was a single Mom and I was scared to death as I already was not getting any sleep. And I had tried everything from all kinds of books, people's advice and nothing, I mean nothing worked. Having a new baby I had to tend to him, and when she woke up or time for bed there were times I had to leave her to tend to him so I told her I had to go but would be back to check on her. Amazingly it was working, one day she awoke I went to her and then my son awoke, I was worried she would cry as always, but I told I would be right back and til I got back she was asleep. I discovered if I did come back and check periodically when she was awake she realized I was never far and was constantly checking on her and she started sleeping, longer and longer stretches. Within a week she was sleeping thru the night. I did this same thing with my son, and it worked. Basically I told him I would be back to check on him. And then I did come back sometimes within 30 secs if he was upset, but soon he realized I kept coming back and leaving but I always came back. I was hard the first week as I had to go in often at bedtime as well as during night wakings. I never let him cry, but kept leaving and coming back until he realized I would be coming back and then he too started sleeping. I have had times when they were sick or teething where I had to do it again for a night, but it has worked well for us. Not sure this method would work for all kids, but it may be worth a try, it worked for both my kids and my daughter was bugger that nothing else worked for. I had read every book on sleep ever written. Anyway if you want more details on what I did PM me, but I can sympathize it is hard. I didn't sleep thru the night in 4 years from the day my daughter was born until my son started sleeping thru. It was a very long 4 years.

1 mom found this helpful

M.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It's alllllllways something with these kids :)! My son didn't sleep longer than 20-40mins at a time for 22mos (issues from being a premie). Then I spent forever trying to reverse his 'clock', working with naps first, only for his night terrors to happen during naps. Got him napping for about 6mos, then he was ready to give that up. Got him sleeping at night for approx 3-4hrs at a time, but he's very active and vocal in his sleep, and once he's up, he's up. I just kept it black and wouldn't talk, except "it's sleepy time, we go to sleep" until he went back to sleep. Then I tried to change his auto wake up time from 5am to something later (since I work nights until 2am), and that lasted for a bit, but he still wants to wake around 630am. Then school started and he had crazy dreams, so that interrupted our progress. Then he wanted to sleep naked and promised to go potty at night and go back to bed, so that interrupted progress. He will be 5yo in May.
Melatonin helped with the sleep training/changing his internal clock. Then it helped keep him asleep longer. Aside from various events (illness, really bad nightmares), he will sleep 9 hours at night (knock on wood).
Folks would say "he will sleep when he's walking", "he will sleep once preschool starts", and so on. I just had to accept the fact that Mr. Vegas will sleep when he's good and ready :)
I'll get him back when he's a teenager, lol. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Portland on

I don't know what the answers are, but I am with you. My guy will be 2 in April, and I think I got up with him 3 times last night and daddy 2 or 3 times as well. He is a very picky eater and doesn't eat well, so he is still on a bottle and I know that he needs at least one night feeding, but the others are just annoying.

Night terrors, yep, been there. Too hot and too cold! Clothes uncomfy. Blankets fell off. on and on it goes. He's also still in a crib. Crying it out doesn't work, well, it will when he goes to bed, but not when he wakes up when he's asleep.

Keep using the motrin if it helps! and maybe try some melatonin? it helps us sometimes. I don't have a lot of advice, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and they will grow out of it! I am sure. I have to be.

1 mom found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Yes...my 4.5 yr old son was doing this for almost 2 yrs...starting around 2.5!
We're talking up 3-5x/night...just becausae he was up. He'd want us to tuck him back in. Nothing we tried was changing the behavior...punishment, reward, etc...

We finally went to a sleep therapist (after doctors' visits and pediatrician suggestions not helping at all)...
Within a week of her helping to completely change his night time routine, he was sleeping through the night.
We paid her $120 for an hour long conversation over the phone...and poof, life has changed so much for the better!

PM me if you'd like her info. She's based on St. Louis, but as we're in Chicago, we did a phone consult and it worked just fine....

1 mom found this helpful
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