Sensitive Subject - Discussing Race W/child

Opposing what another mom said, I think it is the Halloween themes that he was exposed to that makes him think darker people are monsters, not the tv time. I don't know how much tv your kids watch but that is your buisness, not for others to judge. As for the color thing, show him the difference between mosters and colored people. say look, here are some monsters (example where the wild things are book or something like that) and show him another image and say these are people, just like you and me, they have normal eyes, a mouth like you, they have two arms, two legs, a nose...just point out the similarities between himself and them, and than point out the differences between the monsters and them. And of course tell him about how all people have different skin colors and that is great.

My son yelled "hey mom that lady is black!" in the store and I said yes, and black is one of your favorite colors right? and than he ran up to her and told her "look at me I am brown!" (we are native americans) and she was really understanding with him. Children are just like that, they are naturally curious, but they are also very excepting, and most adults know this and will not be offended.

Maybe it's time to cut back on the cartoons for other things. I'm not sure what he's watching, but maybe you could substitue the monster cartoons for monster books. There's some great Ed Emberly monster books. Also, books or shows that have a more diverse cast might be a good replacement -- ie Sesame Street, Super Why, Sid the Science Guy. Not sure what to tell you here. As far as skin colors go, if he asks, you just tell him the truth -- people come in different colors and shades even people in the same family. Maybe someone has some more advice on that aspect. It doesn't sound like he's too curious about why people are different colors or races. He sounds like he's just a little more focused on monsters in general and maybe you need to cut back on the tv time.

Hello C.,

Have you tried asking him why he thinks it could be a monster? he may have a very simple explanation then you can explain to him why it's not a monster. like the previous person said, just tell him that people come in many shades of colors and sizes. Good luck! ~C.~

C.,
Don't make this a big deal. I love the Mom that suggested asking him why he thinks that person is a monster........then respond, but don't be afraid to note the skin color. Be open with your baby. If the baby responds "That person is black." Explain that is just their skin color. You did great when you said that is just a mommy, teacher, etc... Don't go into any speeches.

As far as public discussion. LOL! One of my sons referred to a man-ish dressed woman with extremely short hair as a man in public. My younger son, while in the grocery store questioned (and loudly) while pointing at a woman, "Is she a witch?" Of course I wanted to hide and run. I was so embarrassed.

It will be easy to straighten your son out with the truth if you are open. Black people are NOT monsters.......but with my kids... that woman did look like a man, and the other looked like a witch!

The joy of parenting!
P.

For starters I would ask him why he thinks that person is a monster. Kids see things we don't. Never assume you know what is going on inside that delightful little head!

I suggest continue with what you are doing, and don't make a big deal of it. Show him a magazine and talk about how God made everyone different (hair color, eye color, skin color, disabilites, weight, height, etc.). The more drama you give a subject (especially a socially awkward one) the more fascinated children seem to get. For instance my husband has a leg prosthesis and it is embarrassing for him when children are afraid, or comment on it and their parents shush them and act like it is shameful. Children don't realize the parents are ashamed of the child's socially awkward behavior, not my husband's lack of leg. My husband appreciates the honest, matter of fact questions, and he responds with an honest, "my leg got hurt badly, and now I have a robot leg".

Hi C.,

It's about that time that children start asking questions about differences they see. I would search amazon.com and find a picture book that you can look at with him. I know they have some for this situation. You could check out the local book store and/or library too. Once you incorporate the book into story time you can re-enforce the information during TV time.

Don't worry about this. It is a totally normal curiosity and line of questioning. I think you have handled it well by not over reacting when it happens so he doesn't do it for attention.

Also, I have 4 children and they all went through this usually when they would start MDO. I don't think Halloween or the TV are really the issue that needs to be focused on. The questions would have started sooner or later regardless!

Blessings, K