Seeking Information Regarding ADD

While the teacher is NOT a dr and not really qualified to make a diagnosis, They are able to pick up on theses type of things simply because of the sheer # of students they see...
I agree that your child should not be kept from participating in his ceremony... surely, there is an aid or someone that can sit near him, or place him in the front where he can be watched???? Tell them IF he does have ADD then they are "discriminating" agaianst him by not letting him participate and that maybe you will consult a lawyer .... scare them a little ... Afterall thsi is a pre k class graduation, SO WHAT if they dont all sit like little statues??????????
As for the concerns on ADD, consult your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a neurologist or developmental pediatrician to be evaluated for attention issues... also , some kids have auditory integration issues in which they cannot filter out background noise from relevant speaking etc and sometimes manifests itself as inattentiveness...
alos ADD is not necessarily someone who cannot stay in theri seat, thats ADHD.. h for hyoeractivity. ADD kids cannot pay attention and tend to daydream etc... hyper kids are high energy with lack of attention and organization...

also check out wrightslaw.com for more info on rights and add and schools

Hi D.,

First off that teacher is a jackaninnie. How horrible to isolate a child and single him out like that. I have three children, one has ADD and the other has ADHD. I myself had noticed with both my children the difficulties that they had in school and with homework. I had made an appointment with a wonderful doctor who confirmed the diagnosis. Both my sons are now on medication which has made our life much easier. It is never an easy dicision to put your children on meds. I'm not sure where you are located and I don't know if this doctor is in your insurance plan, Dr. Kremenitzer at Associated Neurologists, 69 Sand Pit Road, Suite 300, Danbury, CT 06811. Their phone number is 1-###-###-####. He will ask you a series of questions, but I assure you he is very respected among his piers. Their website is http://www.associatedneurologists.com/. Good luck, and you shouldn't care what people think about your children, your a good mom and their kids, not small adults. They have lots of energy - I wish I had half their energy. :o)

Wow, I feel like your son's school should be able to make a few modifications so that he can be included. I do not think it is right at all to exclude him. Boys are active, I have a very active 3 year old, but that doesn't mean that they should be excluded from events. If your worried about ADD you can get him evaluated at a behavioral pediatrition ( I think that is the term). I am in the process of this right now.But always remember that all kids are different. Everyone had tha "active" kid in their class and they probably grew up to be extremely successful with all of that energy.Keep fighting the decision, and maybe find a school that will nurture your son's positive energy.

Wow! I am shocked to hear how poorly this school is responding to your son's difficulty sitting in his seat. To take away his graduation ceremony is not only inappropriate BUT heartbreaking. If he completed all that he had to do this year, why isn't he entitled to attend his graduation ceremony?

From what you have described, it sounds like his teacher is the one with the problem... seems like she has difficulty dealing with obstacles in the classroom and is more concerned abut her ceremony going "without a hitch" than the emotional pain she causes your son by not permitting him to participate. This also might be part of the reason why your son is "awlays in time out". Time outs become ineffective if they are used constantly. They should be used for serious problems, like aggressive behavior etc.

Why can't the teacher problem solve... have him sit closer to the front, have another adult close by that if he becomes disruptive, he is allowed to walk away to re-group and then re-join the class, give him the responsbility of holding a prop, being a leader in some way, using positive reinforcement to help modify his behavior, enlisting you or dad in helping him get through the ceremony....

Honestly, I would not want to keep my child in a school that tolerates such nonsense. And if the Principal is going along with this, that shows you that the problem is even more complicated. Have you considered contacting the District Superintendant to file a complaint?

I am a certified social worker and I have experience working with children who have been diagnosed with ADHD. No one wants their child to have any kind of learning/behavior difficulty. But, maybe your pediatrician can send a Conners Evaluation to the school to help determine the extent to the problem, if any. You can also take this evaluation as well and compare the findings. This evaluation is one way to help decipher if a problem, like ADHD exists. I am not sure how accurate the findings will be given the teacher has to complete it, but it is worth a try if you are concerned.

I am so sorry you and your son had to go through this. I would make his graduation day extra special for him. Hold your own ceremony, take him to a special place, throw a party... show him how proud you are of him! --J.

I have a step daughter diagnosed with ADHD and she is over the top and is medicated and doing very well...however, boys are much harder to diagnose and if this is just recent behavior I would definitely think it would be him trying to adjust to a new environment. Maybe he is looking for some attention and doesn't know how to adjust to a new environment. I would seek a different school if the principal wouldn't allow him to participate in a ceremony that is just as much for him as it is for the other students. And so what if he gets up and needs to move around...he is a child. It may sound like the school he is in the teachers and principal come from the mindset...children are to be seen and not heard. It sounds like your son deserves better treatment than this!

Hi D.,

First of all, unless you son has been kicked out of the preschool because of out of control behaviors, he has every right to participate in the program. I have been a school psychologist for 8 years now, and as far as the ADD thing goes...he is way too young to diagnose especially because this is his first experience with a structured classroom setting. I would sit down with the teacher and principal and have a calm conversation about what the expectations are for your son. Maybe it would be better to find a new preschool.

H.

As an assistant teacher at an private early learning center (6 weeks to Kindergarten), I find your school principal's decision to keep your son out of the ceremony to be very insensitive and hurtful. Some 5 year olds can be very immature (like my own son who turned 5 last September). It is very normal for 5 year olds to be inattentive and unable to sit for long periods of time. This does not mean he has ADD. A true professional would not/can not diagnose ADD or ADHD until around age 7 or after 1st grade. I think you need to reevaluate the school he is in. They should know that it is asking a lot from children to behave through any kind of long and potentially boring ceremony. At my school, we take the child's ability to be attentive in account and situate a teacher or assistant to sit along or near the child to gently coach him or her through the proceedings. If at anytime the child is ansty (normal) and needs or wants to leave, then the teacher or assistant would bring the child to his or her parent in the audience and let him stay there if needed. We have had plenty of kids that come and go from the stage and it is neither disruptive or looked down upon. I think excluding your child shows that this school does not understand developmental milestones and the individual child. Just the fact that the teacher will not tell you what the time-outs are for when asked is a serious sign that something is not right! Trust your pediatrician and find another school!

From my experience dealing with a child who is always on the move, I can so understand the frustration you are having in dealing with the school. I had a principal suspend my son the day before hsi 1st grade play because he could not stay still during rehearsal. We fought it and sent him to school anyway, hired a child advocate and even though the principal still did not let my son be in the recital we won later when the superintendent apologized and the principal was reprimanded.

Have you been able to talk to other mom's where your child attends school to find out if other boys in the classroom are having the same difficulties paying attention? Have you thought about sitting in the classroom and observing your son? Maybe he is acting out in the classroom because another child is bullying him or he is being left out during play time because he started later than the other children. Maybe he is having a harder time keeping up with the academics and this is his way of keeping the teacher and other children form seeing him struggle. My middle son had a really hard time with his academics and became the cleass clown. We kept him back in Kindergarten this past year so he could catch up and feel proud of accomplishing some good marks..He is doing great and we are so happy we kept him back...He just needed more time.
If you have time to fight you should. If your son really does have ADD, then it is in your best interests to have him evaluated by a professional and get help as soon as possible. If he is just an active child then great. You can involve him in some extra curricular activities to burn off some of that energy. He may jsut need some more time to mature and that is OK! I know that may sound mean but believe me it is not meant to. I have a 9y son with ADD, as well as Aspergers. he had a rotten time in preK and we has to get him involved with some outside intervention...My 7y son jsut needed time to mature a bit...and my 3y son is on top of everything like he is 45. All kids take their own time to get where they are going. Continue being supportive and looking for answers. I thought I would die when the child study team at school told me my oldest would probally never read past a 5th grade reading level..We now have him in a private school where he is making honor role and taking High School level critical thinking courses. He jsut need time and some intervention. (I do not medicate my sons ADD and some times I think I should for my own sanity, but I am finding therapy working ok) Good Luck!!

It's so horrible when someone tries to tell you there's something wrong with your child, something you don't see any signs of. I had similar with my son when I started socializing him, and he's only three. Anyway, if you and the doctor do not feel it's ADD, it's probably not. Don't let a teacher influence you. ADD is commonly over diagnosed and misdiagnosed because a teacher can't do her job and educate an active child. It's just easier to get them on medication so they sit. I can say this. I was a teacher and I've seen it happen. Do you know the other parents of the kids in his class? Maybe you could speak to them, explain the situation, and have them sign a petition that your son should be allowed in the ceremony. Perhaps if the principal sees the other parents wouldn't mind a possible disruption she will change her mind. After all, it could have happened to any one of these kids if they got a little rowdy. At five years old who expects a child to sit perfectly still anyway? Why are children not allowed to be children anymore? Sorry, I'm ranting, but I want you to know I'm totally behind you. Not attending his ceremony could really hurt him emotionally. He's being excluded from something all his friends get to do. I'd say if this continues to find him a new school for next year where the faculty understands that sometimes children will just be children. Good luck.

First.. tell the school you will bring a suit if they exclude your son. Section 504 of The American Disability Act or (ADA, section 504)GUARANTEES equal treatment in employment and education to any disabled person, or any person PERCEIVED to be disabled. They have to make "reasonable accommodations" for that individual ( perhaps having a teacher sit with him to redirect him to task or attention). I am NOT someone with a legal b background.. just a mom who has fought the system for 11 years. Send them a certified return-recipt letter via US postal service, and put it all in writing. You DO have a discrimination case.

As for possible ADD.. It's not a "label" If your son is diagnosed, you DO NOT have to medicate him, but going into kindergarten he is elegible for special services under section 504of the ADA and or IDEA. Schedule an evaluation with a pediatric neurologist or an educational testing consultant before September. Your child has rights to help cope with his behavior and NOT be punished for something he has no control over, and has no blame in.

Special ed laws give your son rights AGAINST being punished if he has a disability... My daughter is classified under the "Individuals with Disabilities in Education Act" (IDEA) and has an IEP (individualized Education plan) for her ADD. She is getting ready for college now, entering her Sr year of HS, and she is brilliant.. She needs special teaching methods.. but the school is legally bound to provide it, and has been since I won my claim in third grade..

Get a lawyer if you have to. Just having a lawyer's name "cc:d" on the bottom of a letter goes a long way. OK I know I'm rambling.. but this just pisses me off like you wouldn't believe!!

ADD is not a stigma it's a need. If he is diagnosed with it he has rights under the law. Even if that teacher "perceives" him to have it.. he STILL gets those rights. . and you need to get them to recognize that.

Hello:
Don't let the teacher make you upset. Some people can not handle a very active child.

First of all: ADHD can not be detected until they are in school where they are taking tests. So right off the bat the teacher has no clue on what she is saying. Second: She is cruel not to allow this little boy at the ceremony. Third: If she is giving the boy time out, she must let you know in writing. You should go to the head of the center and demand a meeting.

You need to speak to your Dr and get all the information on ADHD.
Also go to this site: http://www.chadd.org

My son has it and he was detected in the 1st grade. It is more noticeable in school more than home in the early years. Because in school they have to focus and listen. Also after detected if in fact that is what it is, make sure your school does testing. Your child could benefit from a Special Education classification.

Another thing, maybe your child is not ready to go to pre-k. Maybe he would do better going to a play group first. I should have kept my son back a year instead of sending him to kindergarten. He was born in Oct.

I would find a play group or another school if this school isn't cooperating with you. I used to live in Queens and found a wonderful play group off Metropolitan ave. It's been a long time so I don't remember the church I went to.

I also sent my daughter to a pre k in the catholic school. Wonderful positive experience. Find out all your options and ask around your neighborhood. You may be surprised to all open to you.

Another thing, if the child is really ADHD OR ADD, you must take him to a specialist in this field to be tested. Don't just go off the school report and your regular Dr. I made mistakes because I did not know my options. You save a lot of headaches and stress for you and your child.

There is a book called: "Taking charge of ADHD". There is a reward system in this book that is great for kids. If anything, go to the library and copy down this system. It works for all kids. I tried it and it worked well.

Good luck to you. Don't get upset or discouraged. ADHD kids are actually smarter than the others. They can multi-task and wind up in stressful jobs 'cause they can handle the pressure.

Let us know what happens.