Just Informed My Son Is "Hyperactive" or "High Energy"

My daughter is also high energy. Someone once asked if I though of putting her on something to calm her down...?? I said no way. She is a great little girl.. active in many sports... and a lot of fun. She is high energy... but she knows she has to be quiet in school and do her work. The teacher in pre-school was a bit strict.. but it helped. My daughter is now in 4th grade and top in her class... good luck and enjoy his energy!! If the teacher can't handle him.. try another teacher... talk to the principal.. and remember have fun with him. My daughter is a lot of fun.. and very smart too! She knows she can play but when it's homework time.. we put light music on.. relax with a drink first and a cookie.. and then on to the homework. I play music at night too.. so she can relax and go to bed. If I don't, she will sleepwalk. The dr. says her body and mind is still active.. so that's why she sleepswalk!! good luck

The point is ,it isn't unusual for children that age. I worked as an aid in kindergarden many, many years ago and things have really changed. Teachers expect children to be totally compliant or they are labled hyperactive. Many of todays' children have been in care outside of their homes most of their lives and adapt more easily. Some children have a harder time time sitting still and getting used to losing and taking turns , especially if they are in only child homes. Kindergarden was the place where they learned these skills. Now they are expected to come in with them! Putting a child on medication seems to be the easy answer these days. It is no wonder so many adults rely on drugs to get them through life rather than working things out. Mom's can say ,I'm doing all I can ,he has ADD. Teachers are happier with these little zombies rather than try and teach them how to gain self control in their own way , in their own time. Parents are bullied by these "well meaning" educators, and made to feel guilty or unfit and often its because they are working so hard to provide for their families that they dont have the time they would like to spend with their children at all these meetings and clubs ,etc. I'm glad I had a chance to vent, dont feel alone, I'm very sure alot of moms heard exactly the same thing this week. Your son sounds alot like my wonderful little boy. And as his doctor said to me .."he's five..! good luck I hope things work out for you.

I certianly am no doctor, however, I have a son and daughter and notice that my son is WAY nore energized than my daughter. I feel it is completly NORMAL for a boy to be so "full of it". I guess I just wanted to say please please please dont let that teacher talk you into putting that child on any kind of drug to slow him down. I saw my younger brother go through it when he was a child and it is not pretty. To this day I belive he has issues that stem from being put on ritilan(sp) I also believe the teacher saw it as an oppertunity to do less of her job than needed, BUT then again, our school system in the Falls SUCKED!! You will get throught this. Take thost other peoples ideas into consideration... Best of luck to you, hope I didnt freak you out. ;)

A., he sounds totally normal. Teachers expect kids to be in a drugged up state these days and they're not used to seeing healthy kids. A good diet will make him energetic. We should ALL be energetic. Who wants to sit when still when they're 5 or 6? Personally I think the method of schooling children is all wrong. A friend of a friend's daughter learned all the way to Grade 13 math in 6 weeks when she decided to go to university and become an engineer. This was an 18 year old who had been exclusively home-schooled, no math text-books at all. Kids learn best by doing, not sitting with a book but unfortunately that's how our society is designed and not too many people have the luxury to stay home with their children these days.

Don't worry about your son. He's very young. I lived in Germany for a while and there the kids start school at 7 and it's only a few hours a day. Never really heard of hyper children there. You sound like a great Mom. Keep it up! Don't let the teacher get you down and don't ever give in to medication. Switch schools if necessary. Any child who can sit and play quietly at home is not ADHD.

You might want to find out if your son is having "treats" at school, like candy from other children that may make him hyper though. If that's the case, teach him to make the connection between his different kinds of energy.

I've worked on the Child Study Team in public schools for many years and I am a parent of a almost two year old, very active daughter. These are my thoughts for what they are worth....

My first question would be...did he go to preschool? If so, did any of the teachers mention any of these similar concerns. Kindergarten is still new to him and the "routine" and "expectations" may be something that he is still adjusting to. I think it is extremely important to have home-school communication. You and maybe even the teacher may need to remind him more often as to what the expectations are at school. My suggestion would be to try to implement a behavior plan to start to focus on some of the behaviors the teacher sees as negative. The school should know how to do this, so maybe you could suggest it to the teacher. A lot of teachers don't want to do this as it can be time consuming. But if there is a kindergarten aide, she could be responsible for it. That way your son could start to get positive reinforcement while he is learning the "rules" of school. Both you and the school could reward him for a day/week well done. The teacher could also develop a private signal with your son so that when she "touches her nose" or "taps her shoulder" or something like that he would know that was his signal to refocus and get back to work. Sometimes the signal can also be a physical prompt such as a touch on his shoulder as she is walking around the room.

The suggestions I am giving you are ones that our teacher usually do. It may be hard for you to go in and ask the teacher to do these things. One thing you could ask if if your child could be discussed by the I&RS committee. This is a committee that usually consists of the teacher, principal, school counselor, nurse, basic skills teacher, member of child study team and yourself. The teacher would discuss the "concerns" and then the members of the team would brainstorm ways that they can help the student. You could offer these suggestions. Once your child has been discussed they will have follow up meetings to update on progress. If interventions are not working, then they will try to come up with other ones. Please note: the I&RS committee used to be considered a precurser to a child study team evaluation. However, new laws are really pushing intervention in the general education setting. In addition, a diagnosis of ADHD does not in itself warrant special education. You would have to show that this diagnosis was negatively effecting your child's education, which in your case it is NOT.

I would recommend giving your son until the new year with these types of interventions to see how he is doing. If you are still concerned you could always discuss this with your pediatrician. He/she can have you and the teacher fill out a rating scale such as the Connors Rating Scale and/or he can refer you to a pediatric neurologist. Unfortunately, there is no "test" that can diagnose ADHD. It is based on behavior, parent/teacher input, etc. If I were doing it, I would go to a ped. neurologist.

In addition, I read that another parent had their child enrolled in karate. This seems to be a very successful sport for children who are active. Something you might want to look in to if you can afford it.

I hope some of these thoughts help. Good luck.

It sounds like for your son that being a high energy child is not a problem in and of itself. It only becomes a problem when the teacher doesnt know how to or cant handle it. just advocate for your son to be treated fairly, equally, to be understood and not changed.

I don't have any advice. But I must say I get very upset when teachers expect kids to act as adults. They are kids for god's sake, and this is when they have energy, it is all a part of being a kid!!! In my mind many are too quick to label kids as hyperactive. Maybe he is just creative, and has energy. If you truly feel he has too much energy, maybe enroll him in some sports or activities that will allow him to learn and grow. Martial arts is always a good one, because besides self defense and sports it also teaches kids a lot of discipline and self control. Good luck to you, I think your son is just being 5, and nothing is more beautiful than that.

Hello A.,

You got lots of great replies here. I just want to add my 2 cents... don't let them label your son and pigeon-hole him into the "hyperactive" category. do evaluate his environment, could there be chemicals used in the school that affect his behavior, etc? if you can, go and observe him (without him seeing you).

on the nutrition part... make sure he's not getting any high fructose corn syrup ...yes, it's even on whole wheat bread, is like in everything! avoid food colorings, etc. looks like you're doing a great job in his nutrition (I wish I was) get him omega-3 supplements and probiotics too.

if the teacher mentions that again, ask her exactly when is when she sees that behavior? he could just be BORED! sorry, I get on a soapbox when people start labeling kids. anyways, good luck, and keep looking. make sure your son is not dislexic. I didn't read all the entries so I don't know if it was already mentioned. and in any case, have him evaluated by another entity other than the school system and read up on it... there are tons of materials out there. and there are also other things besides dislexia. there is disgraphia (pardon my spelling or lack there of), etc. Good luck and keep in mind that the teacher might have the wrong expectations. do what's right for you and your child. the teacher can and should adapt. ~Carmen~

I had the same thing with my son. I took him to his pediatrician who recommended "medicines" for him. I declined and looked at other solutions. By chance he happened to win a months karate lessons. It was the best thing that ever happened to him! He has an outlet for all that energy and has learned self-control, respect, and a positive attitude. Most of all his teacher now says he is a leader in the classroom and a pleasure to teach.

Good luck. D.

A.,
First off let me say that your son's teacher was wrong in saying your son is hyperactive, as that is a medical diagnosis and I know in CT it is illegal for the teachers and staff to give a medical diagnosis. She could say he has a lot of energy and does not sit still, but to use the term "hyperactive" is wrong, she does not have a medical degree. If I were you I would not take what the school says as the word, I would go to my pediatrician and discuss it with him/her.
When my older son was in kindergarten his teacher told me at our first conference that Jeffrey did not interact with the other children because his language and knowledge was much more advanced and he is hyperactive. She recommended he be put in special classes for children with learning disabilities to teach him to interact with his peers on an age appropriate level. Rather than listen to her I went to my pediatrician with this information and was told he was just very advanced for his age and to leave him alone and that some kids are just very active which is fine with her. She also sent a letter to the school stating her thoughts. Now here we are 16 years later and he is graduating from the top business university in the country and has made it through on Dean's List. Yes he still is constantly on the move, but he is a very determined young man and an all around great son. I have 2 more sons just like him as well, this time I knew better and stopped them in their tracks. Don't let the school system do this to you, let him be who he is. I tried watching what he ate and found it didn't matter, Jeffrey was who is is. Hope this helps.
Hugs,
T.
P.S. The school systems need to practice what they preach, they need to look at the positive in each and every child rather than the negative.

Dear A.,

As an educator it infuriates me when I hear a teacher label a perfectly normal young boy. It is so easy for teachers who do not want to be creative, and challenged with a child who has a a lot of energy. Not many kids can sit like soldiers all day. Maybe she is boring him, or has very high expectations for a five year old. My son's first grade teacher (he's now 24) was put into her position from a previous 4th grade position. She would constantly put negative markings on his penmanship and coloring it made me crazy isn't he supposed to be learning this he is only 6!! After many moms stood together and complained to the principal she seemed to calm down a bit. At one point she was going to have 7 out of 24 kids repeat first grade. Children come in all different shapes, and sizes, different temperaments as well and it is up to us teachers to learn the right way to get through to each one as an individual. Do not allow this women to label your child. As one poster said be his advocate. If your little boy can sit and play independently for hours with what he enjoys then obviously he is fine. There are truly children that are hyper or suffer from ADHD but your son does not sound like this is the case. Go with your gut you are his mom, you do not need a degree in education to know what is right. Stop worrying and just love him with all of his energy. Good luck!!

As an art teacher for 11 years I see many high energy children. Personally I have not heard the term hyperactive used by teachers ever...Kind of unprofessional in my opinion she is not a doctor. High energy is the pc term. Is he getting enough physical activity before school? Has the teacher thought of getting him a slant back chair for the rug or a special cushion? What about a stress ball for him to squeeze during meeting times? It is ok for him to roam around the class during a long meeting time? These are things I would ask her to consider? Not everyone can sit on the rug for a long time, it sounds like modifications are needed, unless he is misbehaving and that is a whole other issue. good luck.

Oh A.- Don't worry - I am going through the same thing with my son. Very similar situation, and he is an only as well! Look, our only kids do well alone, and frankly when they are with other kids their own age, they get excited - it is such a different experience for them, for they don't have the sibling rivalry, to wait to have their turn, etc. And frankly it is a process that alot of kids have to go through - Just like our son - So what my husband and I did, was to research online, and talk to some teacher friends of ours and this is what we found out!

Is there alot of circle time? He also might be bored. How does he transition from task to task.. There are a few things I think you should look at:

1. Look into Multiple intellegence - look it up on the web and see if your darling lovey fits into any of these categories

2. I am sure you work full time - but it might be helpful to be able to observe your only - with him seeing you and fill out this chart called the ABC chart -

Here is the link to help.

http://www.specialconnections.ku.edu/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/spec...

The chart will help you to identify exactly what is going on when certain things are done. transitional time, etc. (like going from desk to carpet)
while it is tedious.. it is worth it. Take what you chart and sit down with the teacher and discuss what can be done to help the situation -

I did it with my son- and it is definitely an attention thing with him - he knows exactly what is going on - never misses a beat. But loves the attention (big surprise there! LOL)

I think Kindergarten is a time where instead of the teacher getting ready for first grade.. They should concentrate on how to make kindergarten a great year.

If you have any other questions or concerns about your only - Join us on Yahoo groups as well -

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/parentsofonlychildrenrockla...

A.- slow down, breath and just look at that gorgeous son of yours- it will be ok- the more information you have, the more power you will have. You are the only one to advacate for your son. So no matter what the teachers say- YOU are the one that stands up for your kid-

Talk to you soon!

M-

Hi A.. First of all there is no need to be heartbroken. It's important to know what your child is like at school to get a baseline for behavioral progress. Did his teacher say it was becoming a problem (interfering with his or others progress) or was she/he describing how he is during the day? The negative may be coming from you, unless the teacher was saying it with concerns. In a classroom setting some children can demonstrate self control easily or have difficulty, ie. a hyperactive or high energy child. Of course he is only 5/6 yrs. old and he needs time to learn and develop self control. What did your child's teacher suggest to help him? Use her/him as a helpful resource. He will grow so much this year that he may not exhibit the same hyperactivity at the end of the year. Please don't worry it takes time for children to adjust, just enjoy your son, keep in contact with the teacher and stay positive!

I would be heartbroken too. Very often teachers mischaracterize a student as hyperactive when in fact that student has just a different learning style. For instance, some kids need to be doing something active like tapping a foot while listening to a story, or playing with a ball of clay while doing homework. These kids are kinesthetic learners. My husband (a Ph.d) and my son are kinesthetic learners. They learn best by doing, they fidget, they need to move and be active or they'll burst. This is not hyperactive, it is perfectly normal learning style.

Perhaps you could talk with your son's doctor, get his/her opinion, then talk with the teacher again. Ask her what she perceives his learning style to be. Perhaps she needs to be educated a bit on learning styles. Us teachers are not perfect and yes we make mistakes, and yes parents know their child best.

If this is just a case of him being a kinsethetic learner then it is his teacher's job to provide lessons that will suit him.

Hi A.,
I'm so sorry this teacher stressed you out. I taught this age group at an all-boys private school, and let me tell you:this is normal. Unfortunately, our school system is not set up to benefit the needs of young boys (as well as many girls). This is the first time (even if your son has been in nursery school) that kids are really learning "school" behavior. It sounds like he needs more physical activity throughout the day - sitting in a chair all day for this age group is exhausting. Not sitting still and hopping down the hall is completely understandable - it sounds as though he is not physically acting out against his friends (which is often another way boys get some pent up energy out) or just getting up and wandering or purposefully going against rules of the class.
Perhaps you could ask the teacher to meet again and say that you took her comments to heart and wonder if there are ways you could work together to make the school experience a bit more manageable for your son. Maybe she could anticipate when he's going to need a break and let him go take a walk to get a drink of water. Or maybe he could be the one to get up and pass out papers. Little boys don't want to get into trouble - they need help learning how to monitor their bodies. Kids don't automatically know how to control themselves in the way adults want them to. It's our job to help them learn these skills.
Too easily, boys get targeted as "difficult" - when they are often the quickest to respond to a teacher who reaches out to them and gives them responsibilities in the classroom.
Now, in terms of homework - who liked it? You spent all day trying to behave and now that you're home you have to sit still again? Do your best to set up a schedule for him - play for 20 min, snack, and then homework. Sit with him and get creative. Don't just do the ditto - make it fun. Act out the concept or make up a game to go with it. If he's doing math, use blocks or toys to show the answers. If it's writing, have him draw a picture first and then write. If he doesn't like to draw, maybe you guys could make simple puppets and work out the story first that way. Some days will always be harder than others, so don't push too hard - everyone needs a break once in a while.
Getting frustrated if he doesn't get it right away is not only to be expected for his age, but often happens to kids throughout their academic experience. This is a good time for you to help him create tools for himself to get over the hurtle of things that don't come easily. Help him to identify what worked for him (sticking with it and trying it a different way) and what didn't work (using the crayons to make a building rather than draw - takes up more time when you're not on task).
In the end, the term "hyperactive" should not be used by a teacher. And it's a blessing to have a "high energy" child - high energy people are the ones who get things done in our world.
Best of luck to you and your son.

Just adding to the advise of the previous posters. If you can't afford karate classes or don't have the time for them, buy him one of those "Bozo the clown" punching bags (Amazon.com has them) It's great exercise for the whole family!!
As my son is getting older (4) he's definitely becoming more boisterous, loud and much more high-energy than he used to be. As long it doesn't affect his school-time enjoyment and success I don't plan in getting worried.
I play soccer with him after dinner or chase him around the house (up and down the stairs) or we do some kickboxing with Bozo to make sure he spends his leftover energy at the end of the day and doesn't carry it over to the next day. We also fly kites and WALK to the nearby park. Any way you can make him shed that excess energy will be a plus.
Good luck

A.,
Being "high energy" is very NORMAL for a 5-6 year old boy. Please do not be heartbroken. These sound like very age appropriate behaviors, NOT misbehaviors. It sounds like he's really enjoying himself at school. It's all new to him and he's taking it all in with enthusiasm. There are lots of strategies for active children who learn best by moving their bodies. It's true that some teachers are more gifted at this than others and that academic expectations have changed a lot in recent years, especially at the younger level. Your job is to make sure your little guy's teacher is channeling his energy in a positive way, and not expecting him to 'sit and listen' too long without a break or some kind of movement. The goal is to nurture his self esteem and a love of learning.

About me: Elementary teacher for over 14 years. 12 years at first grade level.

Teachers are not doctors and cannot diagnose your son. Take him to a real doctor if you are concerned about an ADD diagnosis. Make certain that you have ground rules at home, with appropriate consequences. If he is getting his way all the time at home, he may be trying to do the same thing at school. Play "school" at home so that he can practice. Don't feel bullied by the teachers; listen to facts not suppositions. See a doc and try a dairy free diet.
Good luck.
P.S. I am a mother and a teacher, but not an expert in this field.

Did the teacher recommend any course of action? When my daughter was in pre-school, the teachers told me that my daughter was very impulsive, liked to be first to do everything, always wanted to participate (a good thing), but blurted out answers and didn't raise her hand (a bad thing). They recommended getting her an evaluation - - not for ADD (b/c she was too young at the time) but to see if she would qualify for services. She ultimately qualified and she had an aide sit with her for 2 hours a day (one woman came in the morning and one in the afternoon). It was very helpful because they would give her cues and say "you need to raise your hand" or "you need to wait on line" and they would help her get through any frustrations or anxiety she had about having to wait or to sit down.

Was the teacher recommending having such an evaluation done? Unfortunately, because there are many more kids in the class than teachers, a high energy kid can be a lot for one teacher to handle. I know my daughter used to take up a lot of time because she would basically monopolize the class with her talking. The teachers definitely realized that my daughter was smart and that it was great to have someone want to participate so much, but it needed to be reigned in.

Talk to the teacher and maybe she can offer some recommendations. You don't necessarily have to resort to medications, but maybe just having an aide or getting sensory therapy (to let him get the nervous energy out) could help... Good luck!

As long as he is doing his academically ok dont worry. Kids arent meant to sit for long periods of time and some teachers like little robots that sit and dont create any problems. Perhaps the teacher needs to allow the children more play time. The more she speaks to him and moves him around the more fidgety he will become. At home you might try to keep him at the table for longer periods of time without stressing him out. Coloring is a good activity to get kids to sit still.

One of my pet peeves is ADHD. Not all kids or people for that matter were meant to sit with their hands folded and do nothing for hours, yet we have hormonal teenagers in 90 minute classes and wonder why they cause problems. Kid cant sit..give them a pill..kid looks out the window..give them a pill..lets medicate all of them so they all behave the same way.... AARRRGGGHHH

OK sorry.. If the teacher continues to complain about your son do something about her. She is working for you and I know this will annoy some teachers out there, but your son is in kindergarten and SHOULD learn that school is a pleasurable place not a place he is going to be yelled at or embarrassed. POPCORN???? Talk to the teacher and if that doesnt work ask that he be moved to a different class.

Don't just take his teachers word for it. Some boys have a hard time adjusting to having to sit for long periods of time, my nephew was one of them. He had a very hard time in kindergarten, would not sit or listen, but now he is doing great.
Sometimes teachers want to label so that they can have something to "blame" when a child does not fit the mold. Keep doing what you are doing and as he matures he should start to calm down in class

Have your son checked with pediatric neurologist immediately! It sounds like he has ADHD (Attention Deficit with Hyperactive Disorder). When ADHD children are not properly treated, they have higher tendency for facing detention, suspention, and even retention (repeating the same grade) at almost any school. Some schools may even suggest CTT program (Collaborative Team Teaching) which consists of both general ed and special ed children. Unfortunately, the current best treatment for ADHD children is medication for parents to keep their children doing academically well in general ed setting. It is only my personal opinion. Please check with your primary pediatrician and pediatric neurologist. You may follow the link below for more information regarding your child's needs.

http://www.chadd.org/

I would like to read a story about Michael Phelps' ADHD who is Olympic Gold Medalist and what his mom has done to help him over come his own ADHD. The website also has information about mother with ADHD children. I have come across different articles and reports that ADHD children have average to high IQ. Those children's problems are not IQ but EQ. I hope it helps you.

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1998.html

A.,
If you have included everything about your son, don't you dare let that teacher bully you into think that there is something wrong with your son. Just because he's frustrated with doing his schoolwork (something that is a NEW activity to him and it will take him a while to get used to anyway) it doesn't mean that he's hyperactive. When it comes to things like walking in the hall, you probably should explain to him that he should try to walk in a line with his friends, so that he doesn't accidentally trip when he hops. That's about it. Yes, he will need to learn that you need to follow the class rules, but to be punished because he's an active child who doesn't like to sit still all day long is ridiculous. Take it straight to the principal. If there is a reccomendation for an evaluation to see if he has ADD or ADHD, don't do it yet. He's too young, and once you get the label YOU NEVER LOSE IT! Trust me, I've worked in and around the system for a while now and I know that it is flawed.

However, remember that this teacher has to singly (unless she has an aide - you didn't specify) control a classroom full of 5 year olds, and that can be very challenging, especially if she has to direct a lot of attention to one student. Work with her as much as you can - you want to make school a positive experience for your son. Find out what it is that he doesn't like or makes him bored, and brainstorm creative solutions to help him to stay on task when it's important that he do so. The internet is full of resources, and you can check out your local library as well. Above all remember - there is NO NEED to medicate your son. He is 6 years old and it does way more harm than good, take it from someone who's been there. There are tons of behavior related options available, from as simple as giving him a koosh ball to play (quietly) with so he has some stimulus during class to where he sits in the room.

I wish you lots of luck, and keep us posted on the updates. We are all here for you :)

Hi A.,

My husband and I were recently told that our beautiful little boy has Asperger's Syndrome. While it is always hard to hear that there might be something "wrong" with your child, please try to see past the hurt and instead focus on helping the little boy you clearly love so dearly. Labels don't change who our children are; they are just ways for other people to try and understand the specific ways in which our kids are unique.

You should take your little boy to his pediatrician and perhaps request a referral to a developmental pediatrician (that's who we saw). People who see overly active kids all the time will be able to guide you in the best ways to help your son. There may be classes or special services that he can participate in, or particular "tricks" that can be implemented in school to help him handle the relative calm of a school day.

It would not be fair for me to tell you, "Don't be heartbroken". You feel how you feel. But I do hope that it will last only a short time. Your child is not broken. He is still the lively little bundle of energy you have always admired and adored. Your job now is to find ways to help him harness that energy in a way that will allow him to have good experiences in school and elsewhere. He is still very young. There are lots of great ideas out there. This is but another bump in the road of parenthood.

All the best,

T.

I love that analogy -'he hops like popcorn".

I had that child who has grown into a man. Keep doing the things you are doing - be an advocate for your son - get him more activity - my son became a swimmer. Find the activity that is is passion - you may have some hit & misses. A busier schedule helped my son get the HW done. Boys develop the fine motor skills later - they dont' like all that writing.

Diet - add more protein - ie spread peanut butter on that sliced up apple. Watch hydrogenated oils & sugars. You are on the right path. We found supplementation helped - however be very discriminate - there is no regulation in the nutritional supplement industry - there is a great presentation that you can get to from my site www.nosickvisits.mysite.com to get some great tips.

Contact me if you want more info.

My little boy grew up to be a successful adult and I kept determined to keep all doors open

Hi A.: My son is 7 years old, he is a bright, funny, beautiful little boy and I can relate to what you are saying. Please know this is only my experience and may not be the same for you and your son. For the most part, I always felt he was right on target academically but noticed (as well as his teachers) that he was high energy in addition to being easily distracted in class. He would get extremely frustrated when doing homework and also in the classroom he would find it hard to sit and listen for long periods of time. He works very well one on one but in large groups he would become anxious, distracted and that would lead to anger and frustration. At home he is able to play for long periods of time and can sit and listen to a story. I have seen him "hop like popcorn" and also flap his hands. In school, my son was starting to be labeled as a bad boy and he was feeling the pressure. I knew he wasn't a bad boy. He wanted to fit in with the others, but as hard as he tried he couldn't. It was heartbreaking. I had him tested by a psychologist who found him to have ADHD and dyslexia. I hired a parent advocate to go with us to the IEP meeting and to assist us in the whole process. I know this sounds overwhelming. The School will tell you that they want what is right for your son, just remember that Schools will always choose what is right for them. They may try to suggest medicine which is illegal to say. Teachers are only trained to teach average children. Only YOU know your son and he has the right to an appropriate and fair education. He may just need an one on one aide to help him keep focused and perhaps take him for a walk when he gets antsy. My son had an aide for a while and it did help. I see that you said he eats healthy so does my son. We took him to a nutritionist and metalbolic specialist, he is on a semi gluten free and cassein free diet (unfortunately he loves cheese!) and on a ton of vitamins and supplements. We said no to the meds. Working with a parent advocate, we were able to place him in a more suitable school where he is successful and happy.

A. - I have two high energy boys - one has ADHD and one does not. Both are academically strong but have a hard time following school "rules". There is a big difference between the two. The one with ADHD is 10 yrs old and still can't get ready for school by himself because he loses track of what he is supposed to be doing and constantly gets distracted. The 6 year old can get ready for school completely on his own with little direction. That is just one example.

In school, both kids cannot sit still. The teacher you have makes a big difference. The one with ADHD benefits from sensory breaks and being able to get up and move around when he needs to. We make sure he has teachers who are tolerant of this. The 6 year old who is in 1st grade has a great teacher who let's him move around too and has sensory devices in the classroom like rubber bands at the bottom of his chair for him to play with with his feet, a wiggle seat on his chair, lots of little breaks to stretch and move, let's him stand up during circle time if he needs to . . .he does well with this and can get through a day and get his work done. My son with ADHD had the same teacher for 1st grade and he still had trouble getting through a day easily even with these interventions. So you can have a high energy kid that is functional, or one that is not . . . .I think Kindergarten is too early to determine because it is such a huge year of transition and adjustment . . .wait until your son gets into 1st grade and see what happens. Have him evaluated if he continues to have issues that are beyond typical or if he is having trouble learning because of his behaviors. make sure you ask for a teacher that is good with boys and/or wiggly kids. My son's K teacher was not very tolerant of his "spirited nature" as I like to call it and I think it became a struggle of wills. His 1st grade teacher gets him and loves him and he is very happy - he does get in trouble for being too active and sometimes unsafe on playground equipment and we are working on this. I hope this helps and if you ever want to contact me to chat just let me know.

Good luck

In my expereince high energy is not the same as ADD, ADHD or hyperactive. I did case work and counseling with children in foster care for several years. Now I have an almost 3 year old son who seems to be of the same mold as your son (energetic but right on track with learning things and able to concentrate on activities that interest him). I don't think your son or mine meets the diagnosis of ADHD. I have met kids who really can't function without medication and still struggle even with appropriate medication. But not every child who has trouble stitting still needs medication--especially at his young age.

But if you are parent of the most energetic child in the group some behavior management stratagies can help a lot. I notice even one on one my son does much better on days when he eats well, is rested and I am able to give him a lot of redirection and other kinds of positive attention. If I am distracted, impatient, etc. or if he is overtired his behavior can be difficult to handle (and I have lots of training and experience dealing with children with behavior problems). Quite a few other people have given good suggestions for interventions in the classroom. One thing I did at home is getting a mini trampoline so my son has an active outlet even if we are cooped up at home for a while. My son is a little young for organized sports but I would definitely recommend some type of a sport and as much unstructured outdoor time as you can manage to fit in his schedule.

The other think that jumps out from your post is about the teacher. By all means try your best to work with her. But not all teachers "get" all children. When I went to kindergarden I was the youngest, smallest child in the class (my birthday is the last week of December so I was just at the cut off date for that year). I was also kind of shy, had never been in preschool and had a new sibling. The teacher didn't really know how to deal with me (even though she had many years or experience). So I ended up meeting the school psychologist (who I liked much more than the teacher). She thought I was smart and a bit shy but not in need of special services (though she recommended counsling for my parents--but that is another story). Kindergarden was not the easiest year but I had a wonderful 1st grade teacher and that was a far better year. And in the end I got the best revenge--I am now pretty much trained to be in the school psychologist's role. Being educated is a big help in advocating for your child (I did this many times as a case worker but not so much yet for my own son). It is a good thing that not every child is typical and average!

Your son's teacher is adding to your information about your son by letting you know how a large group, like a class, influences his behavior. His ability to play alone or with just a few kids is great, but in a group things are always different. That in no way means there is anything wrong with your son, just that it sounds like the extra stimulation of a group is a challange for him. Do you have a doctor you trust and can talk to about this information? As a neutral party he or she can point the way: practice activities to assist him with concentration, any testing that may be needed. Take your time working toward a solution that works for all three of you, teacher, child and you. Both you and the teacher are experts and will need to work as partners. There is a comment below that a teacher is working for you, but this is a very unhelpful point of view. After all, she has to ensure that all 25-30 get their share of attention, a very, very hard job. Try to be patient with her.

have him checked by a neurologist to see if he really is, or the teaching is just giving him a label.

Two things come to mind, one is that he is bored.
Second, it could be a food allergy or allergy of another kind.
My daughter was allergic to apples! If she ate an apple or anything with apples in it within 3-4 hours she would be having trouble staying focused, be jumping around etc.
One way to see if it is a food allergy pay attention to what he eats 3-4 hours before "bad" behavior starts.
My daughter was 3 when she was diagnosed, she would have milk and cereal in the morning then around 10 some apple juice, by 1pm she would begin acting up.
She was also allergic to grass and leaves, that just meant it really wasn't a good idea for her to play in them or roll around on the grass. Her eyes would get circles under them.
Claritin helped her and avoidance of these things, she is now 16 and thriving but still will not touch an apple!
She was under an allergists care when she was little which helped, I also found that giving her mylicon or mylanta would help ease symptoms.

Good Luck.

Hi A.
Hyperactivity(High energy) as you describe your son is relative to what is happening. Not in my humble opinion from what you said, over the edge to need medical treatment.
I had a high energy, hyperactive kid. He needed to move and be hands on, reading, or doing something. He ran distances and as he grew up, he played sports and coaches loved him because he never, I mean never tired. Yup, if you have read any of my answers to people with sleep stuff happening he is the kid who slept/sleeps 2 hours in 24 from age 2.
We never put him on meds. He was way ahead of his classmates academically and I didn't want to slow him down.
I do recommend that you keep a food diary on him so that if there are foods that cause a problem you might catch that allergy, hypersensitivity, or intolerance. I also recommend you go to school and see what chemicals they use to clean there that he is not exposed to at home. Sit in the classroom, and observe his behavior you might be surprised.
I went in and found my K in a classroom where kids were struggling to write 4 on the blackboard and he could read the newspaper and add double digits. He was bored, but she didn't know enough to give him something else to do so if he finished his work, which was piled on his desk for the day, in half an hour he had to have his head on the desk the rest of the day. I might be bored too. What I was, was angry. So then when he could keep head on desk for the hour, he lost his recess time. Not too smart for the hyperactive kid. She was a new teacher and had no idea the vast range of academics she would be handling. I had told her he was reading but I guess it didn't sink in because when I mentioned it upon sitting in the classroom for about 2 hours. She said "all parents think that"
I ended up seeking the advice of the superintendent of schools to straighten out the situation. He was moved to first grade classroom but the next year, they thought he should do first grade again. I was again furious, and we decided it was best to put him in private school. He succeeded there well, after testing for grade placement into the 5th grade. During his real first grade year he finished 5,6, and 7 th grades.
Yes, he was also hypersmart but do you think we would have known that had we kept him there or just listened. NO.
God bless you as you make good decisions for your son.
Homeschooling was a great option for our twins who came years later.
K. SAHM married 38 years --- adult children 37,32, and twins 18. Volleyball coach, lawyer, and the twins are in college, one majoring in fine arts and the other journalism

It sounds more like he's bored. You should have him tested for a gifted class/program. A lot of gifted kids are also full of energy, which is a good thing. You also might want to talk to your son to find out why he won't sit still in class. Maybe he just needs to practice focusing on school work/school type situations. Teaching him how to meditate might help. Also, martial arts like kung fu are great for training a child how to focus and for using up extra energy.

Try exercises or get him involved in team sports. You might want to get him involved in an exercise program for his age group. Check with your local "Y".
Before he sits down to do homework, or when he gets antsy and frustrated while doing his homework try taking him for a brisk walk around the block.

If his teacher sits him with low energy kids, does she think the "low energy" is going to rub off on your son? Does she think "low energy" is a learned behavior? And if she has them grouped as in "Low energy" and "high energy" children, that means there must be other high energy children in this class....yes? I would ask this teacher how sucessful she is in helping to re-direct the energy levels in the children. My bet is she gets annoyed with the question as well as she gets annoyed with your son....

Sorry this teacher up set you. But I tend to think children especially boys at that age will pop down the hallway like "Pop corn."

Hey there A., Relax, it's ok and so is your son. Boys will be boys. There is nothing wrong with your son's "high-energy" and for his teacher, maybe she has "low-tolerance". And the fact is, most teachers these days do. It's not their fault either. The school board puts so much pressure on them; too many children (child to teacher ratio), the ciriculum is tougher, etc...If he's learning at the right pace, then you're blessed with a little boy who like to be active. Simple. Here's my only suggestion, watch his sugar intake in the morning before school. I know you said he's a fruit and veggie little guy, but that has sugar in it as well. Double check all your ingredients too in everything he consumes. Red Dye #40 is a huge contributor to hyperactivity. THE ONLY REASON I SUGGEST THIS is so teh teacher's comments don't stress you out or make her intolerable toward you son. Heck, why don't you ask if you can sit-in on the class for a day. See for yourself. Other than that, I'm sure your boy is perfect in every way!

First of all, the teacher is ONE person and ONE opinion...yes I would place value on that opinion and I would do 2 things...First call his doctor and have a meeting with him(either in person or over the phone) second set up an evaluation. As for now I would start keeping a journal of what he is eating and how he is behaving...also while he's doing homework(and seat work at school) let him chew gum...I know it sounds nuts but a stick of gum could solve your ants in the pants problem...try if it works yeah, if not try something else. DON"T feel crushed this isn't something horrible like a disease it's a situation that could very possibly be dealt with with something as simple as a diet change and remember this as of right now is one persons opinion! I have 5 boys...and my older son is extremely high energy and sugar sends him over....he can't focus on what is being said to him if he's had to much...I can always tell when there is a party at school the kid comes home wired...but we're dealing with it and it is getting better.

Hi A.,

I'm not medically trained, but as a productivity coach I know quite a bit about ADD/ADHD, and at first glance I don't think your son qualifies.

Some kids are higher energy than others, and have a harder time sitting still in class, especially boys. As afar as the physical aspect is concerned, try to teach him some less visible ways to relax his need to move, such as deep breathing and muscle contraction (contract your arms and fists very tight, then relax. contract the muscles of the legs, then relax, etc.) If he learns ways to do what he needs to do less visibly, he'll feel much better.

You can also slowly teach him how to be sitting still for longer periods of time. I found that video games were very helpful for my son in that regard.

Also, could he be just very smart, and bored in school?

Hope this helps,
K.

Honestly, at this age it is very normal. Don't let them try and pigeon-hole your son into any labels. It is normal for many young boys to be like this. There was a study done recently that found that boys diagnosed with ADD or ADHD often grow out of it by 7 or 8 years old, suggesting that many of them did not have it at all, and are merely energetic. Once they mature a bit, they settle down. The few who don't settle down at this time and still exhibit impulse control problems are the ones who truly need to be treated. Teachers are unfortunately overburdened with crowded classrooms so they can't take the time to help each individual child as much anymore. Talk to him at home about paying attention in class, sitting still and suggest ways of calming himself down (counting to 10 or taking a deep breath, etc) when the teacher reminds him to settle down. Do you think he is bored in school because he is not challenged enough, or do you think he is having trouble with the schoolwork so he tunes it out? Either way, you would discuss this with his teacher to make sure he is excited about learning. I would basically take a "wait and see" approach before doing anything more.

FIRST: DON'T BE HEARTBROKEN!!! My daughter (now 7yo) is "high energy" and has been since before birth. I swear she use to run marathons in utero. She is at the top of the group in academics and the bottom in behavior. She too can sit and do things she chooses for long periods of time but if it requires mental envolvement she has a short attention span.

She also learns VERY quickly and while the teacher is still going over something , she has it and wants to move on. It is something that never goes away but he will learn how to deal with it. My daughters teachers have found ways to give her more to do such as: she keeps a note book and drawing paper in her desk so when her work is done she can do that, she gets to help with things in the classroom or if there are extra "seat work" papers she is given some of them. She can be a huge handful but I am not willing to go to the MEDS (that have all sorts of side effects) to make her sit still. She also has an attitude problem but that is her independence trying to control things.

You mentioned foods and it sounds like you have a great head start on this. Also watch for white sugar, white flower products, preservatives and RED DYE 40. The red dye 40 is my daughters biggest trigger. But be warned that is also in many toothpastes, shampoos and foods of all types. We have switched to whole wheat pastas, breads and some snacks. I try not to give heranything with high sugar content and avoid red dye 40. It does help but there are days (just like any other child) that she wakes up "on the rampage" and there is nothing going to make her behave. Don't let anyone tell you that any child is always good, that is a bold face LIE!!!! You take one day at a time and rejoice in your son. Set up a rewards system and a consequence system and be consistent but never tell him he is different or a problem child. Kids will become what you expect of them. If you expect them to be bad they will and if you expect them to be good they will, not always - they are only human! Also if possible get him involved in karate, gymnastics, hockey, etc. something organized but ACTIVE!!!!

Think of it this way, when he is older when everyone else wants to quit he will get the job done because he will still have energy.

As a mom I sometimes forget to praise my girls for the good and NOT only "notice" the bad. With a "high energy" child they need a release for their energy and they also need to know when they are doing it right. You have an awesome kid and don't forget it!!!!!!!! A.

Get him checked for ADD or ADHD. And then get a second opinion. I went through the same thing with my son. Hope all is well! Best of luck to you. If you have more questions, or need to talk, send me a message.