Seeking Advice on Sleep Problems of 3 Year Old Boy

Three years old is prime time for nightmares.It is very likely he truly is scared. It does get better eventually. But I would go to his room and comfort him there so you won't have the "how do I get this kid out of my bed" problems you read on here every day.

I don't know if you believe in God but i've noticed on the nights that I forget or don't make the time to kneel and pray with my kids before bed time I get the same reaction from my kids and I have five, sometimes up to three of them wake up and let me tell you it makes for a hard day the next day.
The other responses I read work well too, it took me a long time to see what was more important in our family, and praying definitely was the answer. But sometimes the phsyical elimination of monseters and scary stuff before bed sure helps. Good luck! Let me know what worked for you.

I also have a 3 year old son. When my husband is out of town I let him sleep with me. He sees it as a treat and my husband tells him to "take care of Mommy." This doesn't seem to have a bad affect on him still sleeping in his own bed. If he wakes up during the night I just go in there and lay with him for a while. I see your concern about starting a bad habit...it's a hard call. Did he see something on tv that scared him or made him think something bad could happen while Daddy is gone? I'm sure you've already tried the "looking for all of the monsters thing." Does he do this with your husband also or just you?

I've heard of using "monster spray" (a bottle of water) to spray in their room before bedtime. My daughter hasn't gone through this yet, although she is getting a little weird about the dark. You may try spraying some water around and tell him it keeps the monsters away.

I have one who is 3 3/4. He went through the same stage, and that is what it is a stage. We made him as comfortable as we could in his room (night light, sleep babies, took away pictures and things on the wall that bothered him, etc...). Usually it was a "shadow" that scared him so we explained shadows to him and would demonstrate what it was every time we came in (plus there is a new Pooh adventure where Tiger loses his shadow that helped). We have cats so we also told him kitties eat monsters and he had a stuffed kitty he slept with. I would notice a spike in nighttime activity everytime he watched something that was just a little to old for him (these are things he can watch NOW, but 8 months ago totally different reaction). So alter what your kid is watching, step it back to acceptable "baby" type TV (Sesame Street etc..) for about a week and see if that helps.

But, with all that advice, he will probably still have nightmares and still need help. We let ours into bed with us, even encouraged him at one point to come climb in if he woke up and wanted us so we could get more sleep and he could feel more "empowered." It won't last forever, and it will help him out, as long as it isn't a nightly occurence. And as mine seems to be past the stage already, it will go, just give it time. Good luck.

My son went through that around 2 or 3 also. We taught him to growl at the monsters and scare them away. He would also quite firmly yell, "Go away, monsters!" He loved it! It lets him take control of the fear and see how silly it can be. It also allowed us to get some sleep, though we would sometimes wake up to his scaring away the monsters! LOL

wow we have the same kid! My son is just getting past this stage.. it started a few months ago right before his baby sister came into the picture. His was either a monster or the big bad wolf. We told him to beat them with his lightsaber and they would go away. and that we live in a brick house and the big bad wolf can't get in... thank goodness the house is brick! sometimes that worked and sometimes it didn't. Until recently, he refused to go into a dark room when that hadn't bothered him before. I taught him to use things to flip the switch and his new independence with the lights has helped. We also explained that he might be dreaming "seeing pictures in his head that are really just play pretend" and he is pretty good about communicating that there isn't actually anything in his room, but he dreamt them and it scared him. he sneaks into our bed sometimes and goes right back to sleep. it used to bother me at first, but well, he's only 3 once, soon he won't want to be near me at all, so i can handle the occassional kick in the eye if it comforts him... good luck!

Hi C.
sounds like something has scard him- either from TV or something else he has seen or heard. Have you tried happy bedtime stories- putting all his favorite toys , animals etc in bed with him.. searching under the bed and closets before bedtime to assure him there is nothing there etc-
then, sometimes little ones just use that as an excuse- but keeping him assured there is nothing there is the best thing. you might try re arranaging his bedroom furniture and letting him help so he can see there is nothing there- also, I am sure you are leaving a light on for him- that helps too-
good luck
blessings-

Hi C.,

I have been a nanny for 6 years, I am a child enthusiast and have run into similar situations. Go to the store and pick out together a night light, even if you already have one pick out a new one with him let him choose. Take him home and before you tuck him in, after your bedtime routine have him turn it on. The key is to make a big deal, tell him it is a VERY special night light because monsters don't like it. Second, teach him a little saying to tell the monsters hes not scared. Sounds crazy but sometimes kids just need a little confidence. If this doesn't work put a little music on at night make sure the room is a comfortable temperature etc if this continues contact your doctor.

Just wanted to let you know that your son has entered the 'magical thinking' stage which is completely normal at his age. This is when children start to become interested in all those make-believe things like monsters and ghosts and fairies...they are fascinated but at the same time these things can be scary, more so for some than others. I didn't read all your responses but it looks like you have some good advice...you need to be creative with your solutions, because it is his creative imaginatioin that is producing the problem to begin with! One thing that doesn't help is to try and convince him that it's not real or that he's being silly, etc. To him it is very real and he is truly scared. When my oldest went through this we gave her 'invisible monster spray' (we literally just held our hands in a position that looked like we spraying something from a bottle--you could use a real spray bottle with water too) and told her she could use it to scare the monsters away anytime she felt like it. Worked like a charm. You might want to limit his TV shows to only things that are intended for his age (like Noggin, PBS Kids or Nick Jr). A lot of Disney movies are even too scary at this age. Also it may help if your husband gives your son a photo of himself to keep by his bed and if possible, talk to him on the phone every night before bed while he is away or if that's not possible, record his voice saying goodnight or whatever your nightly routine is. My husband sings a little song to our girls every night at bedtime, so when he was traveling a lot and couldn't always speak to them at bedtime (if he was with a client at dinner or something), I would have him record the 'goodnight song' on our voicemail system and play it back for my girls at bedtime. Just anything you can think of to help him feel secure. Good luck to you!

My girls have TWO nightlights in their room (they have two sets of bunkbeds so one light is in one corner and the other light in another corner.) They are special lights that cast stars and moons on the ceiling. I really love the stuffed animals that do that but they are kind of pricey and with 5 kiddos I can't get them all one.

My mom had a pallet on the floor next to her bed and when my sister got up during the night she came in the room and laid on the floor. There was a time limit and then my mom woke her up to go back to her own room. This was expected, and she was able to do it without too much complaint.

If you try the monster spray, try putting some lavender oil in it. It has a calming smell and the child KNOWS this isn't just water. hehe

You could also pray with your son before you put him down for the night. I don't usually, but I know that my just turned 6 YO does it on her own because she tells me about her conversations with God. :)

S., mom to 5 ages pre-born to 6

have you tried helping him scare the monsters away? my younger daughter was terrified of monsters after her older sister decided it would be funny to scare her LOL we did a few different things to help her get over her fear. one thing was I got a new can of air freshener (something not too powerful-smelling) and I told her to point to where the monster was and I sprayed it. Also, during the day she would say there were monsters so I had her put on her rain boots and stomp the monsters, she thought this was hilarious! When she still insisted there were monsters, I acted fed up and said "OK that's it, these monsters have GOT to leave!" I asked her to show me where the monster was hiding and I pretended to grab his hand and take him to the front door and I threw him outside and shut and locked the door. I told her to look out the front window and see that he was locked outside now. So then every time she told me there was a monster in her room I would say "no, we locked him outside, remember?" And that was the end of her fear =) It took several nights of reminding her that the monster was outside, but eventually she forgot about it and she hasn't mentioned being afraid of monsters since then!
Now, when she was still scared and waking up in the middle of the night, I would just sit with her, get her a little drink, maybe sing her a song, and then kiss her and say "mommy's tired, I need to go back to bed now, I'll check on you in a few minutes" most times, she would be asleep in a few minutes, but if not, I'd just go in and remind her that it's time to sleep still and I would come back to check in a few more minutes.
I also leave her closet light on with the door just cracked so her room isn't too dark
Hope all this helps and you can get rid of your son's monsters too =)

This is normal to go through this being afraid at night. He must be a very creative and intelligent child to scare himself.

You need "dream coins". A client told me about these many years ago. They are "magic coins". They look like quarters to everybody else, but when placed under your sons pillow, all scary things go away. Also when you travel, the quarters are great, because you do not have to worry about not having one, they will work on out of town scary nights, just like at home.

This worked very well for our daughter. One time when we were changing her sheets, I found a lot of coins under her pillow, I asked "why are there all of these coins under your pillow?". She said" I was having a really, really , scary dream so I put lots of coins there to make them go away"...

I remember another mom responded to this on mamasource, she said to get a spray bottle and to pour water in it, then you use this to "spray away" all of the monsters all around the room, closet, wherever the scary things are... I loved the idea...