Seeking Advice on Potty Training

Hi,
I was pretty inconsistent with my son. We were very laid back and relaxed. We used stickers and m&m's...those helped GETTING him to go on the potty, but not to hold it or tell us when he needed to go. We'd take him at 12:00 and he'd go on the potty...5 minutes, 10 minutes, or 20 minutes later he'd go in his pants. He knew the difference between being wet or dry - He just didn't care. He'd wet his undies everytime I put them on him...sometimes we'd go through 10 pairs or more a day. I'd give up and go back to diapers. A week later I'd try again...this cycle continued for months. I thought I'd really "work" on it this summer.

One day about 3 months ago he says he wants to wear his undies. We let him and he had a few accidents for a couple days...then he stopped going in his pants. He even would go by himself without us reminding him. It was like when HE decided he was ready it was a breeze and like he trained himself...before that it was a nightmare.

My approach with the next one will be the same...Introduce the potty and remind him to go, but don't push. When he's "ready" it will go much smoother.

Good Luck!!

Hi N.,

I tried a potty training sticker chart. You can print out a whole bunch of different ones online (Disney, SpongeBob, Cars, Thomas, etc.). I taped it on the wall of the bathroom we were using. at first every time she tried i would give her one sticker. If she actually went in the potty she got a sticker and a chocolate!! She was potty trained in a week. I am sure it would work if you tried on the weekends and at night. I also told her it was nasty to go in our pants. YUCK, Icky. She soon was embarrased to go in her pants and so proud to go on the potty. It wouldnt hurt to try. GOOD LUCK!!!

I was in a simlar situation, trying to train both my girls (now 3 + 5) on weekends. Basically, we would set aside weekend days to be at home, usually pants-less, and prepared ourselves for plenty of accidents. If it didn't "take" during the weekend, we'd go back to diapers for daycare, and then try again the next weekend. We did ask our daycare providers encourage our kids to use the potty even though they were still in diapers.

ALL kids are different, and so are girls and boys. I will say that training my two girls was very different, and I'm not sure if it was due to age or personality. We trained our first when she was 2 1/2, and I remember lots of accidents, for a long time.

For my 2nd, we didn't start until a few months after she was 3. It took several weekends of accidents all over the place, but by the 3rd weekend something totally clicked. She said, "I feel the feeling!" and she's hardly had any accidents since. It could be many factors - seeing an older sister on the potty, different personality -- but I think it was waiting until she was a little older that made it so easy (when it finally happened of course!)

I agree with the other posters - you definitely need the help of your daycare provider. I found that with mine, there was some miscommunication. With my younger daughter, they didn't want her to come to school with underwear until she "got" the whole potty thing, but I mis-interpreted that to be that they didn't want to help train her.

Once she had her "a-ha" moment over the weekend, we put her in diapers to go back to daycare and she was asking her teachers to go potty. They saw that she had really progressed and agreed that she should be in underwear and they'd help her use the potty when she needed to.

Sorry for the long-winded answer. Hope it helps!

Hi N.,

As a D. provider it really suprises me that your provider is not willing to assist. Especially since she would have less diapers to change :) Potty training really is a group effort and consistency is the key. At your son's age it is not going to take long at all. He will be trained in no time at all as he is able to understand wet vs dry.

My suggestion would be to either discuss with your provider your situation and your need to have your son trained.
If she is still not willing to assist maybe consider taking a monday or a friday off and having 3 days to dedicate to training. It may be all you need. I also suggest checking the book- Toilet traing in less than a day out of the library. I used it with all the kids that I care for and my own kids that I have potty trained or assisted in training. I have just modified a few of the techniques for this day and age. I hope that you have potty training success!! Good Luck!

firstly, he's a boy and boys usually take a long time to train...and he's young...not even 3 yet! If he is not interested in the potty, then go back to daipers and wait until he's interested. Second, you may want to get a new childcare option...whoever is watching your child NEEDS to be on board with this...and your husband NEEDS to help as well...it can't all be on you! Good luck!

I am in that process now, and its coming along well. My son is turning two next month. And honestly i can tell you like everyone has told me. Boys are different. They go backwards and then forward when it comes to pottying. I had to make pottying fun. So i created a song, and my son likes it and it motivates him to go when he needs to. You have to remind your son that he has to let whoever house he is at to let them know when he has to potty. Keep telling him that everyday if necessary.

Then i suggest you run him to the potty once he wake up. And ask daycare to help you through this process. He needs to go to the potty every hour. And they will or even yourself will see how willingly he is to using the bathroom. Reward your son whether its a kiss or a cheer. Maybe a little candy or just some free time with mommy. Make sure you run him to the potty before you leave the house and when u get back. He will then have a better understanding on how it works.

Try it and let me know the outcome. He needs fluids also. Try it for a week and see if there is progress!!! Sorry but it will take time, so ont rush because you will discourage him completely.

I had to teach my son's father, my mother and sister that song. And now he wakes around saying bits and pieces of it. Just make pottying fun. Thats all that needs to be said.

Hi N.,

I must say that potty training is one of the more challenging part of being a mom and what I found to be helpful was consistency! You've mentioned your spouse and childcare provider will not (or can't) support you... and that makes it tricky. What worked for my.. my son is now 5 yrs old is having him out of diapers the entire day. Since you work maybe a weekend will work. We set an egg timer for every 1/2 hr and when it went off we sat him on the potty. We made it really fun and a big deal. When he sat on the potty we praised and when he did "go" on the potty we praised the heck out of him and gave him more treats. Over time he got the idea. Also, asking him if his pants were dry throughout the day and praising him for it really helped. This also worked for my friends too and their children.

hope this helps!

H. Graber
Cultural Care Au Pair
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Helping families with a creative childcare solution!

I have never heard of a daycare provider who won't help with potty training. That's pretty standard stuff.

We got plastic (Gerber) pants to go over underwear. It was no more difficult than diapers for our childcare provider, maybe even easier - if there was an accident, she maybe rinsed a little and then put the whole thing in a bag to send home, and put him in fresh underwear and plastic pants.

Sorry, I don't know anything about quick training. Any grandmas in the picture who might be able to help out?

I trained my son in 1 week last summer at the age of 2 1/2. I tried the pull ups I tried the charts. Then I decided to go Underwear and never go back. I took him to the store let him pick out 3 pkg of underwear Character's he liked. Then we talked about the potty all week long. About how he can't go pee pee on Lightening Mc Queen. I think we watch cars atleast 3x's a day then. Every time I went pee or anyone else in the house we took him with and asked if he'd like to try. (we did not let it be an option that he came with)
Then the following week as soon as he woke up I took him and every 20 min after if he went then I waited a half hour, after meals I took him every 20 min. He hated being interrupted to go to the bathroom to see if he had to go. After two days of every 20 min he decided to tell me when he had to go. We did have accidents and I made him help clean them up. (he didn't like that)
At night we did pull ups or those one's made by White Cloud they are softer he liked the Monster trucks on them. 1st thing in the am potty. We also went through the paper and picked out a toy for reward we cut the picture out and taped it to the wall of the bathroom where he could see it. We sang songs, and read books waiting to potty. I had a chair in the main room and a seat that fit right o the regular potty. Pooping training took a bit longer but he was pee trained in a week. Good luck all kids are ready at their own time. Patience and understanding is the key.