Potty Training Help!!!!!

Have you tried having him practice getting to the potty fast? If not it may be worth it after he wets himself tell him calmly that we don't like wet pants and we need to practice getting to the potty so it doesn't happen again.

only one thing to add.
I am very suprised a daycare would require potty training at age 3. many many many boys are not trained yet at 3.

I very much agree with what Erin B had to say. I would also suggest some sort of reward for a little while. With my own son I used small amounts of candy or other treats and (at first) larger treats for pooping. However, if you'd like to stay away from food rewards, as a daycare provider, I've also used sticker charts very successfully. At the end of a month the child had a pretty chart to take home and rarely has accidents now. Good luck and remember, it will get better!

I strongly agree with the last response. Boys do take much longer to potty train, I should know because I am also a Preschool teacher. Boys on average do not potty train until about 3 ½. If he is having a ton of accidents then that is a definite indicator that he is not ready. I see too many parents feel pressure to potty train too early when their children are not ready. They will let you know when they are ready. Potty training my daughter was a breeze with very few accidents, but that is because I waited till she was ready. Talk to the daycare and find out if it is okay for them to wear pull-ups a little longer until he is definitely ready. It sounds like he is close but just needs a little more time. I always tell parents not to worry, he will not be in diapers forever, it will eventually click for him. I am really frustrated with the pressures that so many parents feel to start their kids in school at such a young age. There needs to be more social groups for children to have fun but not have to be potty trained. Schools have rules and we can not change diapers, but some kids take a little bit longer and they still need a setting for socialization and learning. I wish you all the luck and stay relaxed, it will make him feel better.

Your son is telling you loud and clear he is not ready. We tend to rush our children and see them as big kids, but they are still little. Some will tell you that their kids were trained at an early age, but it takes many many months and by the time they are totally trained it was well over a year. Boys usually do it later. If you give him a little more time, you will see quicker results. Wait a month or two and then start again. 8 or 9 accidents is ultimately more work for your providers, than just taking him to the potty 8 or 9 time more. I still have to remind my kids to go to the bathroom!! (and they are 8 and 9) Take him to the potty every 30 minutes have him sit and try. He will soon figure out if he goes a little bit he can get back to what he was doing. Kids this age totally live in the now. As he gets this concept, you will be able to stretch the time out longer and longer, until you reach a more comfortable time span for the both of you. Then he feels successful and so will you. Good luck to you both. Stick to your gut and do not let anyone put your son on their time schedule.

I have a 2 1/2 year old son. He was potty trained before his 2nd birthday. After talking with lots of moms and trying a few ways. The way I was able to potty train him was I stripped him naked in the basement and let him play when he started to go pee I would pick him up and stick him on the potty. I stayed home with him for a week which was a pain because I couldn't leave the house but it DID work. I would also give him 2-3 m&m's when he would sit and go potty. Also, time between when he drinks to when he pees, that way when you start having clothes on him you will know approx. when he has to go. Sometime I would set a time and when it when off he had to go on the potty. Anyway, pull ups DON'T work.

Good luck. Once you start don't leave the house other wise all your work is lost.

L.

S.,
Hang in there...my son (4) and my daughter (6) were completely potty trained around 3 1/2. Try rewarding him if he goes to the pot or put cereal (Cheerios) in the pot. Make a big deal when he tries to go. I used to let my daughter watch her favorite show while she sat on the pot. One to three times a day should help the progress over time.

He is a little boy!!! and all children are potty trained or mommy trained. If the school wants him in underwear, then they should put him on the potty every 30 minutes or so until he is able to get it figured out. Just putting him in underwear is not going to train him unless they are able to catch him in the act, and obviously with 8-10 wet underwear a day is not working. Good luck M., why does he have to be trained before he is in a 3 year old class? I can see 4, but little boys do not always become trained before they are 3.

He's not ready. You should NEVER push potty training. A lot of boys aren't ready until they are 3-3.5. I don' think I would push this if I were you.

Hi S.!

Sounds to me that Joey is just not emotionally ready yet. My son Zach now 5, was going pee in the toliet when he was 3, but not number two. So he was still in a pull up. Mind you, he was already in school as well. Not daycare, school. I had bought him all this cool underwear. Through out the year I had asked if he wanted to wear them. He said no. So I knew he just wasn't 100 pecent ready. Then in January of 2007, he was just 2 months shy of being 4, I asked if he wanted to wear his Thomas the Tank underwear. He said yes. I said, rock on. That was the first time he ran to the toilet to go number two. He sat in the bathroom for some time. Now mind you, he still had a few accidents along the way. He stayed in a pull up at night time for a bit. Since my husband had to be up around 4AM any way, he would wake our son up at that time to go to the bathroom. Soon, he was waking up on his own and no longer needed a pull up.

Give Joey his time. It will happen.

I don't think the soiled underwear and shorts are a disaster. Just toss 'em in the washer and dryer, then send 'em back the next day. I always knew when caring for other people's little ones that those days/weeks were part of the deal. Your childcare provider(s) should know that also.

Most important thing is, don't stress about it if you can help it! If the daycare can't put him in the other class right away, oh well. But sometimes a couple weeks of no diapers is all it takes for a little guy to get the hang of using the potty when he needs to go.

I have no idea why, but my experience has been that little boys often aren't "potty trained" before three, and little girls usually are. But no one should be a childcare provider without being aware that soiled garments are part of the deal, especially at the "potty training" phase! I bet you're a lot more worried about it than the people at the daycare are.

So in a nutshell, I'd show the little guy any and all diapers that you own and have him help you bag them up to give them to "the babies," since he's a big boy who wears underwear now. Then either store them in a closet for your own peace of mind, or actually give them away. Then there will be messes to clean up, and ask for his help in cleaning those up. Explain that it has to be cleaned up because he forgot that he doesn't have diapers anymore, so please try to remember to use the potty next time.

Whatever you do, try to keep your emotions out of it. It's all about him and his journey in the world. He's way too little to be responsible for anyone's emotions about that journey. Heck, he's just learning how to handle his own emotions about it!

By Thanksgiving, I bet this will all be a distant memory...!

I got my daughter a potty watch from one step ahead and you can set it for 30, 60, 90 minute intervals to remind them to go use the potty. it might help him to remember to go and not just hold it until he has to! it is worth a try.
good luck.

If things went downhill after moving to underwear full-time, then maybe he's not ready for underwear. I say too bad if the daycare wants to move him to another room...make a decision based on his potty training experiences & readiness, not the daycare's schedule. Do they ask him during the day if he has to go potty, or do they just leave it up to him to run there on his own? My son is 2yr. & 2 mo., and is 95% potty trained (I know this is unusual, I know 3 1/2 yr. old boys who are just starting training now). One difference is I stay home, so training him is easier than training a child in daycare where there is not as much consistency. I would request for them to ask him every hour if he needs to go potty. Sometimes kids forget & need reminding, especially in the beginning. I ask my son at least every hour if he needs to go. If I didn't ask him, I'm sure he'd have some accidents. I would remedy this fast b/c having accidents may be affecting him emotionally, and that may make him regress in his training. Good luck!

P.S. I started training him at 19mo, I took it very slowly (somewhat b/c of my laziness!), and now it's 7 mo. later & I can confidentally say he's trained. Some people train in a weekend, I don't understand how this is done!! (actually, I think they keep them almost naked at home for a few days straight & take them potty every 1/2 hr, using a timer to remind them). I didn't choose this method, but know others who it's worked for.

Sounds like he is just not ready. About how long is he holding his bladder? Until the stretches are about 90 mins to 2 hours apart he might not really be ready.

When my daughter was holding her bladder about 90 mins I would be remind her to go potty frequently. The more she more she went the more she made potty a habit. Then when she started feeling the urge she started running to the potty.

I also suggest potty power dvd - both my girls loved it!

Keeo up with the underware, that is a good thing to do. It may be a bother but pull ups might let him be lazy about potty training and avoid it all together. Oh and as silly as it sounds I clapped for my children when they made it. Every successful potty trip earned clapping and praise. Young children love your approval of their accomplishment - parents are everything to them.

I used to work daycare and they didn't have to be trained until the four year old room. You are the parent and are paying the daycare. They need to work with you on this issue. Just tell them you don't think he is ready and you don't want him pushed. There's no reason they can't move him to the three year old classroom in diapers, if they have the right changing area - and that's their choice to provide or not. They can't just push your kid because it's more convient for them.

Hi S.,
It sounds like he is absolutely not quite ready. I would ask the daycare to back off a little bit and I would just lay off of things for a week or so and see if he initiates things. In my experience they do it when they are ready. If you are having nothing but accidents he's not ready. My sister was just using the timer system, where every 15 minutes the timer went off and they went into the potty to try whether he said he had to go or not. Inevitably some of the times he had to go and then he was able to see what it felt like to "make it" there in time and AlSO and more importantly he was able to feel successful. Constant failure is discouraging. I would lay off for a week of the "hard core" stuff and just try something like the timer system that makes it less pressure filled for him and more "fun." He needs to make some positive associations with potty training before he gets completely discouraged and you really have a problem on your hands. He can do it. Bs take longer than girls, too. So he is right on target age wise. Don't let people pressure you.

Hi S.,
I waited until my son was 3 1/2 to potty train him. We put together a sticker chart to just get him acclamated with the potty process- not to actually go. He was still wearing diapers, but 4 times a day we would put him on the potty. He got 1 sticker for coming into the bathroom, one for taking off his diaper, one for sitting for one minute, one laying down so we could put his diaper back on and 1 for washing his hands. If he got all 5 stickers then he could have a cookie (we used animal crackers and swedish fish).
We did that for two months. Then we knew he could do it by himself- as long as there were no zippers or buttons on his pants. So we set a timer and when it went off we said it was potty break time. If he gave us a hard time, or if he refused to participate willingly then he didn't get the sticker and then at the end he didn't get the cookie. This only happened a few times. After that he knew that he wanted that cookie and that he had to do all 5 things by himself to get it. We did this for another month.
After that I got some M&M's and told him 3 for pee and 5 for poop. This worked for pee, but not for poop. So I went and got some dollar store toys and wrapped them up and told him he could pick out a toy every time he went poop on the potty. That worked awesome. We did that for about two weeks and then faded it out and praised tons instead.
I also just put him in his big boy pants whenever we're at home. We've had a few accidents, but I think that's all part of the process of them getting in tune with what's going on down there. The diapers we have today are so absorbent that I doubt they actually feel that they're going.
For a while- maybe for a month when we go out we would still wear a pull up just in case- but I tell him he can go on the potty if he wants to. And still a pull up for bedtime. He seemed to do pee great, but poop was still an issue for him. His teacher said that developmentally he had to get used to pooping sitting down. Usually he was standing up. So I just tried to stay off his case. I knew at that point that he knew how to do it, he just had to want to do it.
Now he's going on the big potty with a safety seat on it which is awesome! He's so proud of himself and we're pretty proud of him, too. He wears big boy pants all day- diaper at night- and tells me when he needs to go. Being consistent I think is the main key- well that and alot of patience! I hope that helps.
Blessings,
J.

Hi S.:

It sounds like your little guy is just not ready yet. Boys take a little longer to get this done than girls!! I have two girls and they both started potty training on their own time. It seems that the harder you try and push the issue, the tougher it will be to actually make it happen!! Give it some more time and don't stress about it! Good luck!!

Yes let him be. He will be ready when he is ready. Forcing the situation generally prolongs it and is unnecessarily stressful on the child. You can tell the daycare that he is just not ready yet. When he wants to do this, he will.

Be patient, it sounds like he totally gets the concept, but may not be ready yet to fully carry it out. Use you good mom instincts, do what is comfortable for you and him. Let the school know that and then the pressure is off. For all you know, he may be ready on his own before the start of the new year. If not, no sweat, it is about enjoying life, not rushing through it!

That seems young for a boy- both of my boys were 3 to 3 and a half before they got the hang of it!

I tried training my older child too soon and I ended up paying for it. When they're not ready, it's a huge battle and ends up frustrating everyone.
Trust your gut on this one--if you feel like he's not ready (and it sounds like he's not) then don't push it. Let him stay in pull-ups (maybe with the cool sensation for when they're wet) and just keep putting him on the potty frequently.
Boys typically train later than girls and many of them aren't trained before the age of three. Good luck!!

I also think in the beginning they need to on more of a schedule of when to go. I try to take my guy every 30-40 minutes because he doesn't tell us, yet, when he needs to go. Also you may consider keeping him naked when at home so he can run and go when he needs too. Sometimes kids make it there but struggle to get their clothes off then it is too late. I think it stinks that they are pushing to get him trained to go into another room. You can't train all kids in a few weeks, some take longer.

Hi S.,

Potty training can be sooo stressful when you see certain advancements but no real end results.
Boys usually always take much longer than girls, for phsycial and emotional reasons. I would think that this is the perfect age to start trasining but it could take many many months ( up to 6 or more) before he is fully trained and couldeven be another year or more before he stays dry at night. Your son should be in control of the timeline for sure. Most kids don't use it as a power struggle, most times they are just not ready for whatever reason.
My experience with my son was terrible. He did not pee on the potty till he was 4, did not poop until he was 5 and he just turned 6 and finally does not need nightpants anymore. This may be slightly older than most, but not at all uncommon. I tried everything and anything, he just was ready when he was ready.

Good luck my fellow Mom, I really do have sympathy, especially when you have to deal with the daycare being involved. Hopefully, they will give your son the freedom he needs.
Please let us all know how it turns out.

I have no advice, but I think it is ridiculous how early these places want kids trained. I have a 4 1/2 year old who still isn't trained. Boys take longer usually into the 3rd or 4th year. We are looking into some medical reasons here, but I just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Oh, the little guy just isn't ready. I know some kids can be potty trained after just turning 2 but I think that is in the minority. I would stop. You don't want to make him feel bad about something he just really can't do yet. I would hope the daycare would understand.

I would definitely let your son be in control of the timeline. The pressure they are putting on him is not helping.Was your son a premie? He could be physically less stronger than most kids at this age if he is. It sounds like he needs some time maybe you can take a break from this for a week or so. Hang in there , it will happen!

My son was potty trained at 2yrs 10 months I continued to ask him if he needed to go potty and took him as often as he said yes until he actually put 2 and 2 together. At 2 they are so involved playing or watching tv that they dont pay attention. It will come in time you cant force it (that could back fire on you). I got real luck with him he has never had an accident but we did this on his terms not mine.

S.,
Your son isn't ready! My son is 3 years 5 months and isn't ready yet. Don't force him. Just because the daycare wants him to move to the "3 year old" classroom doens't mean that he is ready for it. If they are pushing for this than maybe you should look for a new daycare. I am a mom of 3, and a former infant room teacher. Daycares are supposed to do what is in the best interest of the child and there philosophy should be based on every child is unique and different. Every child developes at his or her own pace. I get pressured to get my son potty trained but if he isn't ready than why should I push him? He will go in the potty every once in a while. I tried the underwear thing and even let him around the house with nothing on and he pees everywhere. He's just not ready and I don't want to force it. Good luck!