Seeking Advice on My One Year Old

As many others have said...sleep is O. area where the logic does not work! An overtired kid sleeps less and sleeps fitfully and sporadically. Give naps and move the bedtime earlier and I think you will see an improvement.

She is most likely over tired. I agree with the other moms. I used the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It works! Good luck.

I agree with previous posters about being overtired. You didn't mention if you have a routine. This has been a very important part of my 1 year old's day. I start around 7 with a drink, a bath, lavender lotion, put on PJs, and I brush her teeth while she looks in the mirror. I talk about everything as I do it, making a big deal out of each thing. I try to keep my voice soothing. We sit on the bed with her facing away from me (her back to my front) and read stories. She has a book she can play with while I read another book to her, or sometimes she will actually look at the same book if she likes the pictures. I can judge when she is ready for bed by how still she becomes. Then I take her to her room and put on a lulliby CD (I love the Baby Einstein one). I try to keep the same music every night as a cue to her that it is night night time. I keep telling her it's night night and by that time she has flopped onto my shoulder, ready for sleep. When I started this routine, I would not put her in her crib until she was barely awake. Now, I can lay her down while she is still pretty alert, but drowsy. The predictability really helps her know what to do.

It took quite a while for the routine to take effect. Just pick something that you want to do every night at the same time and tell her why you are doing it. Keep giving her the opportunity and eventually (fingers crossed) she will get the idea. Once you've done the routine and she is not sleepy, you can let her have some independant quiet play until you think she is ready. You could incorporate everyone into the bedtime routine. Perhaps all your girls can cuddle down and read together with you, that would be a very nice time for all of you. I wouldn't have any expectations of them sitting still, though. :)

I hope you find something that works for you.

Studies have shown that skipping the nap won't make you child sleepier. She may be over stimulated and that would make her unable to settle down and fall asleep. Try putting her to bed earlier. I know this doesn't seem to make sense but it worked for my son. We also have a routine. Now that he is almost 2 1/2 he knows what to expect and goes to bed like a dream. We did start the routine when he was around 6 months but there isn't any reason you couldn't start one know. Your older girls also can help by not being too loud when it comes to her bedtime. Those are my suggestions. Good luck!!

let her have her nap. as for her screaming you are giving in by letting her in the bed with you. she needs to know how to self soothe. does she act out when she has to take a nap? try a bath before putting her in bed. if you give in now it is only going to get worse. my 4 year old neice sleeps in bed with my brother and sister in law. she may be getting teeth in also. give her some tylenol also before bed if you think she is getting teeth. try some baby music and some white noise also.

The Sleepeasy solution by Jennifer Waldburger is my sleep guide when I have questions or doubts about my child's sleeping habits. I'd recommend checking it out. Lots of good pointers, suggestions, and facts are loaded into this book and it's an easy read.
I'd guess that your child is way overtired to the point where she can't relax. Is she napping during the day?
Surprisingly, children who get good sleep during the day (ie. nap) usually sleep better at night. Don't try to exhaust her or not let her nap- that just raises the levels of Cortisol (stress hormones) in her little body and makes it harder for her to "turn off" for sleep. I'd suggest keeping her nap and trying to put her to sleep earlier. Look for the signs that she's tired- rubbing eyes, glassy look in her eyes, maybe rubbing her ear or sucking her thumb- then put her to bed. Don't wait.
A soothing routine may make it easier too- we turn down the lights in the house at 5 and we start talking softer and playing quieter, then at 6 I nurse our girl, give her a bath, then change into pj's and she is in bed by 6:30 every night. She sleeps 12 hours too.
Also, If you haven't tried this- get room darkening curtains and maybe use some white noise (we use a fan).
Hope this helps. I really recommend getting the book- it's helped so many moms I know, including me.
Best of luck.
R.

Hi N.,

Here are some web sites:

http://www.naturallynurturing.co.uk/sleep.html

http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/13/top-ten-ways-to-...

http://www.bellybelly.com/au/ariticles.baby/15-ways-to-he... sleep

Hope this helps. D.

Have you tried putting her to bed before she gets too tired and exhausted. For some kids they need to be really tired to fall asleep, but for others it's the other way around. The more tired they get the harder it is for them to fall asleep.

My advice is similar to alot that the other mommies have given. For me, I read the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, reccommended by my pediatrician, and establishing a routine has been great- a routine for sleep and a routine for mealtimes. It's consistent, and eventually my baby caught on and it set her biological clock. It's not fool proof and sicknesses and teething will make her relapse, but it's enough to make sure she's not overtired and cranky.

And with everything there is balance. A well rested baby from a nap will sleep well at night, but a baby that gets too many naps or naps that are too long will meet their sleep quota and be unable to get any more hours in at night. A schedule is good, but should have some flexibility. The book says that the "never wake a sleeping baby rule" should sometimes be broken, in case they sleep in too late, so you can preserve the nap time, or if the late nap goes too long so that you can preserve the early bedtime.

"Crying it out" can be so controversial. I let my baby cry, when she had all of her needs met and there wasn't anything else I could to do help. But I never let her cry longer than 10-15 minutes at a time- some may say that she would cry to that threshold, but at least with my baby's personality, I knew that if she was tired, she'd cry and fall asleep within that 10-15 minute frame, and if she was still crying there was something else that she needed, whether it be to remedy the pain of teething, or just an extra snuggle from mom. And again, this is just what worked for my baby and me, and just a suggestion. I wish you the best of luck on whatever path you choose. I can't say that every night I get a full nights sleep, but I get a lot more of them now that I've implemented this method.

N.,
Maybe your daughter is over-tired? I think it's instinct to keep kids up later if they don't go to sleep easily but I think it works the opposite in young children. I also have a 16 month old (youngest of 5) and he sleeps from 7:30pm til 6:30am and has a 1-2 hour nap each day. Children have a much harder time falling asleep if they are over-tired...sleep begets more sleep! There's a great book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and it was my bible after I made every sleeping mistake with my 1st child. I'm not sure of the author - maybe Dr. Mark Feldman? I recommend it to every new mom because it's like an instruction manual for instilling good sleep habits in children. I would recommend giving her a favorite stuffed animal and get her down for a nap today, then put her to bed by 7:30 pm tonight. A little fussing and even some crying is to be expected but give her some time to self sooth. I'm not a big advocate of letting them cry themselves to sleep but I think a mom knows when a child is truly distraught or just fussing and annoyed with us! Good Luck!

I agree with a number of the previous mamas. Your little one is getting overtired, and it's disrupting her overnight sleep. If she was previously accustomed to sleeping in her crib, then she will probably sleep less soundly WITH you as well. You really need to make sure she gets a nice long nap in the middle of the day and gets to bed at an earlier time. She'll be happy again once she gets some really good sleep. (We ALL know how that feels, right?) I realize she's a toddler now, and I haven't read the toddler version, but when my daughter was very young (2 or 3 months), and we were still struggling with her sleep issues (always overtired and cranky and sleeping very very VERY poorly), we chose The Baby Whisperer method (after I read about 8 books on babies and sleep). It's a kind and gentle way to get in touch with your child, to recognize his or her cues for things like sleep. And rather than allowing the child to just cry and cry, you can respond gently to him or her, so that he or she feels safe and not terrified or angry. It worked great for us (and we were all happy to avoid a lot of crying). Of course, if implementing naps and a soothing bedtime routine and an earlier bedtime doesn't help (although it SHOULD!), you can certainly try crying it out. But be prepared. It will take at LEAST 3 days (often longer for older children), and you have to really know what you're doing (and be prepared for very little sleep for YOU, too). I would encourage you, if you choose this method, to read about it first in Dr. Ferber's most recent edition of Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. Don't just listen to what somebody else did. He has an actual method and sound researched advice.

N.,
She is crying because maybe she knows that you will let her sleep with you. Stay firm and DO NOT let her sleep with you guys! You need your privacy and sleep too. It will be hard at first but she needs to get used to her bed. We have a strict routine at night and my son goes to bed with no issues at all. He is 18 months. Also, putting them to bed later is not good. By that time they are over tired and exhausted. Try earlier. My son is in bed no later than 8pm. If for some reason we get him in bed later he gets up way too early in the morning. We do bath, pj's, book, prayers, lights out and I rock him just for a little bit and lay him down when he is still awake but sleepy. We did the cry it out as a last resort when he was over 6 months old and it really did work.
Good luck!
Christina

You would think those things would work, but it is actually the complete opposite that works. Believe me it is counter-intuituve but i have two children who now sleep through the night and I have seen the results of them being over exhuasted.

Your 16 month old still needs anywhere from 12-14 hours of sleep a day/night. Do not try to exhaust her, instead begin or develop/continue a nighttime routine to prepare her for sleep and continue her day naps. Make sure to have her nap as often as possible in the place she will sleep through the night.

Nighttime routine a half hour before bedtime; a warm bath & lotion and PJ's, or wash hands & face, brush teeth, lotion (I found lavender to be a soothing scent for my children), find her lovey, cuddle on the couch for books,night night to the other house members, prayers if you say them, and then in bed. My children have a musical light that goes on for 10 minutes.

I suspect your daughter is going to bed too late; therefore interrupting her normal sleep/wake pattern and making her continue down her path of over-exhaustion. You will see hyper-activity and accute frustration and inability to focus during her daytime from this. It might take a few days for her to recover from her exhaustion.

At 16 months my son was going to bed at 6:30pm and waking at 6- 6:30am. He napped for anywhere from 45 minutes to 90 minutes. My daughter at 16 months went to bed from 7pm until 6am. Now at 3 and 5 years of age my children go to bed at 7:30pm and sleep until 6:30 or 7am.

I found 2 books very helpful: "sleeping through the night" & "healthy sleep habits, happy child".

Good luck and remember don't try to exhaust, help them to sleep earlier. It is counterintuitive, but put them to bed earlier.

I have sooo been there! I used the No-Cry Sleep Solution book. The best part is that it explains the science of sleep. Getting tired and cranky is the worst thing for sleep. They need to rest when they are not tired, naps are ESSENTIAL, and going to bed before they are exhausted is key. The body has a cycle - when it gets a little sleep, it continues to think it only needs a little sleep, but gets cranky. When your body gets adequate sleep, ironically, it will sleep better, more soundly, and want more of it! Good luck.

this may sound crazy, but she may be too tired. If my son (now 3 1/2) didn't nap when he was her age, he would not go to bed at night. We started cutting back on his awake time and he ended up sleeping better during the day. I found solace in the book "Babywise". Some people have a fit about it, but we found it very beneficial. Good luck =O}

soft snuggling, and singing with just night light on - sleep with stuffed animals and soft blankets, warm bath with the lavender lotion before bed helps. Be consistent every night. I would just go in every 10 min tell her you love her and tuck her back in without taking her out of the crib - she will get tired of this, and realize all the drama is not worth it.
Good luck :]

The best advice I can give you is to let her cry it out. Based on what you have said here, it looks like she is used to sleeping with you and you husband that she doesn't want to sleep in her own room anymore. I am afraid that the only way to break her of that is to make her stay in her room no matter what. She will cry for an extremely long time. Also, while she is crying, don't go in to check on her unless is sounds like she is choking. Every time you go in to check on her, you are just going to extend the time it takes her to calm herself down and go to sleep. It won't be easy but you need to break her of this habit.

Good luck.

Try giving her some milk before bed? are you using a rocker?
Let her fall asleep in your bed then put her back in her crib. Sometimes you need to dedicate a weekend where you can let her scream and as much as it pains you....NOT go in and take her out of her room. After a few nights of realizing you will not take her out, she may figure it out. Its a tough age....just do the best you can.

Theres also another book called "Sleepless in America" by Mary Sheedy Kurkinca. It can help regulate sleep for the whole family.

I have to say as awful as it is (for mom & dad) letting her cry it out was for me the only thing that worked. Once my son realized that we weren't going to let him in our room at night he gave up. What our doctor told us to do was this:
For the first 3 nights go in every ten minutes (while she's crying) to let her know you are there. No picking up / hugging just pop in with a good night and I love you.
After that go in every 15 then 20...and HOPEFULLY by then she should be good on her own. That method worked for my son in 3 days...and now he is great at bedtime. Add that to your routine and maybe it will help. Don't get me wrong there were a lot of tears, mostly from me :) but it was a godsend! Good luck!

Hi N.

If either of my kids are overtired when going to bed, they sleep horribly and are cranky in the morning. Try getting her to bed a little earlier, have a soothing bedtime routine, and if you don't want her in your bed, stick to your guns and let her cry. You can check on her if you want, but don't take her out of her crib or fuss with her. She'll only be getting what she wants and will continue the screaming. Others don't advocate letting them cry, but I did it with both of mine around 6 months of age and they both go to bed without a problem (there are occasions that they are sick or we have disrupted their routine and that leads to chaos - but for the most part they go to bed and fall asleep and stay asleep in their own crib and bed.)
Good Luck to you.