Second Pregnancy Worries

I too worried much more with my second pregnancy than I did with my first. The first pregnancy was perfect and the second one was also perfect other than the fact I had to go on bedrest for a few weeks. That however was my own fault because I was working too hard. I think with the first pregnancy you really don't have an idea of what could go wrong. However after going through it before, you really do understand the complications. For myself, my life was where I wanted it to be and I just worried it was too good to be true. Sounds like that is where you might be now. You have a beautiful little girl, just got married, and are now expecting a son to make a perfect family. Just relax and try to enjoy.

Hey, A.!
You're not alone. I had 2 perfect pregnancies and two perfect babies and thought I was done. Both times I got nothing but positive reports throughout and amnios to reassure there was no down syndrome etc.

When I found out I was pregnant the third time (now) I got really really scared. We don't have insurance, so I do it with no epidural to save cost-I was dreading going through the pain again until it made me ill. We had a billing problem (bill didn't match the quote we got for what it would cost) with the last amnio and owed $9000 on top of all other out of pocket costs, so this time I'm not getting an amnio. I'm 38 so I was fearing all the things that could be wrong and I won't know until the very end. Mainly I felt like I was pushing my luck with two perfect babies already. I had myself really freaked out and all my thoughts were negative for a while.

I'm feeling much better now. I had to refer to my inner strength and faith and my "New Earth Book" :) and remember that I was sad and scared and worried about "the future", the pain, possible problems in delivery, possible problems with the baby. What I needed to be doing was focusing on now. So I woke up everyday, breathed deep, said all my prayers of thankfulness for the beautiful life I have now, asked for peace of mind and the strength to push out the bad thoughts concerning the future. Whenever they would creep in, I would stop myself, realize what I was doing, and force myself to be thankful for the present, and have positive thoughts for the future. Like that I know I'm taking the best care of myself and the baby possible with good nutrition and sleep etc, and chances are I will be blessed with a third perfect child. If not, I know what is meant to be will be, and a blessing is on the way.

I'd rather deal with any delivery room pain and trauma when it's happening, not also dread it for 5 months before hand, so I reminded myself I'm not in any pain now.

This pregnancy sucks, I've been on bed rest on and off, my skin is horrible, my weight is bad because I haven't been at the gym like for the last two pregnancies, but I still focus on the present moment-I'm fine, I'm taking care of myself, this will pass. I'm actually much less hung up on weight and appearances this time. I bounced back twice before with lots of work-I'll do it again.

Do your best to attack your bad feelings when they come with thankfulness and joy and the belief that you have a blessing on the way. Stop and do it as many times as you have to during the day. I had to force myself all day every day for a couple of weeks, but now I'm feeling better for real, and it's no work.
Good luck, my thoughts and prayers are with you!

I was like this gor all 3 of my pregnancies. I suffered thru it during the first b/c I never spoke up! During my 2nd I told my midwife about it and she suggested I start an Omega supplement. I used Nordic Naturals Omega 3-6-9 and it helped dramatically. I began it at about 3 months in my 2nd pregnancy and continued to use it until after my 3rd. You do need to make sure it's mercury free; not all of them are. I was referred to the Nordic Naturals brand b/c they're known for their purity. You can get it at Whole Foods.

I worried a lot more with my second pregnancy then with the first. I think I was more worried because I was aware of all the things that could go wrong, and was less nieve then the first time around. Adding on top of that all kinds of horror stories I had heard from people around me. Everything was pretty easy with my second pregnancy and I didn't have much reason to worry. My third pregnancy I had a first trimester complication and was on bedrest a few weeks. After I was cleared from that I can say I was a lot less worried with my 3rd, I think because at that point I was all worried out. I think as a mom it's only natural to worry, and as you know you continue to worry about your child for the rest of your life. It's a nice welcome to motherhood! lol Just keep trying to reassure yourself there is no reason to worry and try to keep busy!

When you have changes in your life it is normal to have stress related to that change. Having a baby and getting married are 2 big changes to your life :) When you add in pregnancy hormones to it, it can compound your emotions. I was remarried in 05 and added a baby boy to our family of 4 in April. I had many of the same feelings that you did. My doc asssured me that it was normal and part of having a large transition in our family. I did help me feel better to know that what I was experiencing was something that others had felt as well. If you are having the worries effect your daily routine, or your sleep or eating patterns, address it with your doctor :) They should be able to offer you a more expanded explaination or offer theraputic ways to help you cope with the emotions and changes that you are going through. Good luck :)

Hi A.,

Don't worry, I know that's easy to say, I think your reaction is normal. The first round you didn't know what to be worried about, now with experience you know everything that could go wrong but is not likely. Relax, but I'm sure those hormones are helping either. Try and find ways to relax, meditation, yoga, etc. Talk to someone close sometimes just talking about it helps to relieve the anxiety we feel. It's part of being a mom, worrying is what we do, it's part of our job! Try and enjoy this pregnancy and not plague yourself with unnecessary worries. That is not healthy for you or baby! Best wishes on your new bundle of joy!

L.

I think every pregnancy is different. It is perfectly normal to have some worries. do not worry too much because it is not good for you or the baby. be happy that now you will have a little boy and a little girl. god bless and enjoy this time with your daughter and husband before the little one arrives.

Each pregnancy is completely different so you hormones are probably just playing games with you. My hormones varied with each pregnancy. I had a great pregnancy the first time around, except for him being so huge, lol. The second time I did have some problems and my hormones weren't great, which caused some of the problems. My third pregnancy was very odd for me, although that ended in a loss. My fourth pregnancy was completely nutso, but I was pregnant with triplets, lol.

I would just keep telling yourself that everything is fine, and focus on all the positives. Get out as much as possible since this not so fun winter can bring anyone down. When you start having negative feelings, talk to someone. Pick up the phone, whatever.

Remember, if the doc says things are fine, then they are!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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Hi A. - [[[HUGS}}} This is so natural and normal - hormones for sure - not 'deeper issues'. A little bit of extreme love for your unborn son, which is wonderful.

I will share with you what my ob/gyn told me:

He would rather that I worry and report back to him any concerns I might have in regards to my pregnancy, rather than I keep it to myself. Life is a miracle - our unborn children are to be treasured and the expectant mothers are to wrapped in softness and kept safe.

I think it is normal to feel worried, you want this new baby so much, and you know how wonderful they are because you already have a precious child, so you know how important they are to you.

Try not to let your worries bother you too much, embrace them, keep a diary of them. Confide your worries in someone you trust day to day, and if there is a slight hint of trouble get on the phone to your ob/gyn asap - trust me everyone would rather be too careful with you and your baby, to make sure all is well.

Lastly, know that people who barely know you and people who love you are all praying for you and your baby to be healthy. When I had my first child, I had friends who prayed for me everyday, I never gave it a second thought, but I believe now that it really made a difference. I am praying for you to have a healthy baby boy and a healthy Mommy too.

Hi A.,

Your worries are coming from deeper issues than your pregnancy. Your pregnancy is your cover.

Seek out a professional to talk about what is going on from your past life experiences that are translating into your pregnancy. Your baby deserves the best that you can give. It would be sad to see the baby be the recipient of your past unresolved issues.

All the Best. Good luck. D.

Take classes through the hospital you will deliver at. I ended up taking three classes. I had a chance to ask questions, see videos and work with a doll. This eased the anxiety I had greatly! Best of luck.

I had a lot of stress during my second pregnancy - my MIL was ill, we were moving, etc. He turned out to be breech and I had to have a c-section. Now he is a perfectly healthy 5-year-old boy. Rationally, you know there is nothing to worry about, but emotions don't always listen to reason. Just try to relax and concentrate on all the things that went *right* the first time around. Your body knows what to do. Maybe take some time for yourself to walk, exercise, or whatever you can do to relax. Best of luck!